by Elena Monroe
He laughed, doing his belt. “You dragging her out did that for me, babe.” There was a hesitation and a change to his demeanor when he looked at his phone.
The mood shifted around us from pure bliss to worry in one notification.
Nyx looked me up and down without a word, before pulling the door open to see Caellum a few feet away, leaning on the banister, waiting.
“All done? Guessing you got Bolton’s group message.”
That was all I could hear from inside the private room still, even with the door open. The boys had been holding secrets and playing games before we had words for that kind of thing.
Shifting in my seat, waiting impatiently, I noticed a cell phone on the floor, so I plucked it from its banishment and put it on the couch beside me.
Nyx’s phone didn't have a crack across the screen like this...
Shuffling through memories with cell phones, I knew I had seen it before. Dorian had a crack on his cell phone over the screen. I used to tease him about being able to text, and he replied exactly how a gentleman should: “I only text you, anyways.”
Flipping it over, I didn't recognize any other part, when it buzzed in my hands and a slew of numbers appeared on the screen with a text.
Text: He knows, Dorian. You better be safe.
This was Dorian’s phone! Someone was texting him to be safe, and it wasn't me. I didn't love Dorian, never had. He was just feeding my good girl meter, and if I was really honest... maybe I liked the power of making someone like Nyx jealous. No matter how you sliced it, the territorial feeling inside you starts to act up.
Scrolling through it, I saw my messages, all of them—every desperate, longing, apologetic message.
I cringed inside myself. That girl who texted him needed people for the wrong reasons. Thank the gods she was out voted by myself and the bad part.
Two to one.
I was still confused by how it got here. I had endless theories, but the only two that made sense involved Cotton Candy and Nyx.
Walking over to the open door, I strolled through it, checking my outfit and making sure my thigh-highs were properly in place. Stopping near the boys, all I heard was: “You need to get laid.” Nyx was stabbing in the dark when it came to Caellum’s loneliness.
I would agree if I wanted to have an opinion about it. Just sitting on his lap and toying with him, I could feel him pressed against my ass, ready to go.
“What the hell is this?” I held up the phone and waited. They ignored me to continue whatever got his attention so quickly after being inside me.
“Wasn't me or Austin, so I'm gonna guess that's your hostage…” Caellum was being indirect, which wasn't like him. He was beating around an invisible bush.
Nyx shrugged, when he finally looked back over his shoulder to find me.
“Luna? Do you want me to take you home, or you sleeping in my bed?”
Caellum’s grin was an eyesore, even without looking in his direction.
I already knew what answer he wanted to hear and what I would choose ,but how bad I felt was now forcing him to at least be polite. Otherwise, the world was in trouble.
He laced his fingers with mine and started heading towards the exit, with Caellum following. I wanted to reach out and hold his hand too, so he wouldn't feel left out, but I knew Nyx would even hold that against him.
I wasn't an owned woman, but he did just make me his, forever. It was a fine line between independence and chains.
When we got downstairs, the vibe was completely different from the quiet of upstairs. It was filled with people, booths everywhere, and a singer on stage, belting out a cover of “Creep” by Radiohead.
How fitting for the filling in the bottom of my stomach that knew this was Dorian's phone and Nyx had played some part in having it now.
“Little Lamb, joining the dark side? Isn't it past your bedtime?” Hades called out from his booth filled with the people, who claimed they were loyal. They looked starved for whatever he'd give them... and Oracle.
I could see it in the docile yet frantic movements as they pawed at him. Oracle dimmed down your personality, your expressions, your outside completely, while inside was a rave of emotions and lights.
A true disconnection.
Not letting go of Nyx’s hand, I stopped and made my way over to his table. Hades was always nice to me, but then again, what King of Punishment isn't intrigued by a pure soul.
Little did he know how untrue that really was now.
I could hear Nyx huff, and he loosened his grip on my hand as I made it to his dad’s table. Hades clapped his hands lightly, and his loyal followers flooded out like a damn bursting.
They'd really do anything with a snap of two fingers.
“Little Lamb, come sit…” Sliding into the booth next to Hades, he bumped my shoulder playfully. “I have eyes everywhere, Little Lamb. You have to be careful on my playground…” He pointed down to his phone, showing me the camera feeds from security cameras.
I knew he was referring to more than Nyx and I having sex upstairs; he meant his heart. I needed to be careful with that, because Hades had eyes everywhere, and he just proved it.
Not moving, but finding the boys talking at a safe distance, I whispered between us, like Nyx didn't know, “I love him. I know it seems unbelievable and awful, but I never loved Dorian. Promise.”
Hades smiled at me. “Oh, Little Lamb, you loved him even when he loved Arianna. You just forgot.” His finger patted the tip of my nose, and I felt comforted by his words.
I wanted to ask how I could remember. I wanted to ask a lot of things, but I didn't know how.
“Don't look at me like that, Little Lamb. He'll have an ankle-biter-sized tantrum if I help you.” Hades moved the dish of Oracle away, making it obvious that was the cure to lost memories.
My stance on the blue powder had just changed in one swift hand gesture by Hades, pressured by the man who punished bad behavior.
“I need to remember. Please.” I would beg if asked.
“You'll remember even things you don't want to, Little Lamb. Things you didn't even remember seeing or hearing the first time.”
“Okay, how much do I take?”
I saw him find Nyx with his eyes as he pinched some into his drink and slid it over to me. “It's cherry soda and Maker’s Mark, mostly whiskey, though. Try it.”
I wrapped my lips against the straw and drank it faster than I had anything else. This glass held the contents to my memories, the truths I didn't see, and I wanted them all back.
“Side effects?”
Hades’s laugh was deep and full of character. “Slight personality changes. Aggression. Bad choices. You're dancing with your demons and seeing who collapses first, Little Lamb.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly waiting for the memories to pour in safely in Nyx's presence, in his bed.
“Fuck being good or bad. Be you, Little Lamb.”
Our grasp on each other let go, and I slid out of the booth to have someone else catch my eye across the bar.
He had a white trim beard, tattoos peeking out of his button-up shirt, which made me think there were more if you were brave enough to have your fingers covered, and a gold lightning bolt hanging from his neck.
Authority dripped off him, while his tight leather jacket screamed that he was willing to hate your problems right along with you.
I must have been staring too long, because he winked at me. It wasn't a wink that was an invitation, but one that felt familiar.
Zeus?
Pushing the thought away with a shake of my head, I took Nyx’s hand, already feeling lost in something else—not memories, but the truths around us blending in with the lies.
Nyx
D orian’s phone was a by-product of losing focus when Luna was in the room with me. I was wrapped around her finger and flirting with the hem of her short, black, satin dress.
His phone was the last thing on my mind.
Mak
ing her mine was priority. I wasn’t dancing around her fake boyfriend and his ill intentions anymore. I wanted to wait for her guilt and longing to disappear, but I got impatient.
Her guilt, longing, whatever fucked up feelings she had for him weren’t going to magically go away because I emptied myself inside her. No, those were only going to be expelled with the truth.
His ugly truth.
I was going to tell her myself, not because Bolton was throwing his weight around.
Caellum was busy grilling me about the fucking text message he sent to all the guys, which was a simple question, accompanied by a photo of Dorian tied to a pole, but still alive.
I saw the placid smirk on his face even with his head down.
Caellum’s twenty-one questions were distracting me from hearing Luna’s conversation with my dad. It looked intimate and personal. Something I didn’t want her to share with anyone else, unless she had to.
She was looking out of the window in the backseat, with a dazed and slightly confused look plastered to her face. I kept looking at her in the rearview mirror, checking on her.
Now what did my dad do? Always a professional of making everyone else feel like they had problems, even if they didn’t. He wasn’t making mountains of molehills; he was turning insecurities into reality.
“You okay back there?”
Something didn’t feel right; all my senses tugged at my sanity when Luna was too entranced to answer me.
Caellum twisted in his seat, looking at Luna, before his face scrunched up into worry, like this was a surprise or he had seen this before.
“There’s only one way to get a god high, and you know it: Oracle.”
I smashed my palm against the steering wheel. Of course my dad enticed the love of my life to be dropped into a field of daisies, plucking memories, and unknowing how bad a trip could be.
Pot was the safe bet; it was pretty much Advil for us. No true effects. It dulled some of the high definition out of the world, but never for long. That was the main reason I went through so much of it.
I wasn’t willing to up the risk to Oracle. My demons were scary enough locked up.
I was going to kick my dad’s ass. Fucking old man was gonna get his shit wrecked by his son—the one who had been fighting every Friday just to feel something other than missing Luna, while she played house with Dorian. All under his watchful eye.
In the garage, I spoke to Caellum, but my eyes never left Luna as I pushed the seat up and offered my hand to help her out. “I’ll meet you upstairs.”
“You can’t stop it now. It has to run its course.”
I was connecting dots in my head, when Luna pretty much avoided falling on her face by the skin of her teeth. This was exactly how out of it Arianna seemed during our failed ritual.
Is that how she got the memories back? Did Cheyanne drug her? Memories or not, Arianna was still the annoyingly sarcastic girl with purple hair and no stake in this game.
With my hand on Luna’s hip, I guided her to the side of my car and stepped into her space, so close I swore I heard her heartbeat. “Do you know how stupid this is?”
Luna’s hands landed on my chest, leaning into me and giggling. “You’re pretty.”
I was a weak god against that laugh.
“It’s not always a good trip, Luna. You shouldn’t ever do Oracle alone—not the first time.”
I remembered taking Oracle with the guys in Olympus, when it was accessible to us; it was a nightmare presenting as a dream.
We took it in the Fields of Endless Spring, when the truths hit us like the first time a mortal drinks too much and things get sloppy.
It started out fun, lighthearted, until we ran out of good memories. That’s when the fun really began.
Austin was stunned silent, like Arianna was.
Bolton was fighting something invisible to me.
Caellum was on the verge of crying—an action I hadn’t seen since that day.
And Jasper was determined to get laid—also something I hadn’t seen happen, despite his big man on campus status at Arcadia.
“Safe with you, right?” Luna’s words hung on her lips.
“It's not me I'm worried about, Luna. It's your memories and all the bad you refuse to see. I can't save you from this.” I was talking to someone who wasn't actually hearing, but saying it out loud made me feel heard anyways.
“You have your memories...” Her hands slipped down the front of me, landing on my belt and looking down between us.
I was having the same urges. Round two.
“Are you ready to remember me loving Arianna? We can make more memories, Luna. I can’t rewrite the past.”
Taking her hands in mine, I held them together, keeping a boundary between us. Touch was subject to hands only until I could fuck the urges down to a glimmer.
I dragged her behind me, walking towards the elevator and pressing the floor I needed from the garage level. She was oddly quiet until the ding of my floor rang out. “I'll remember falling for you and not just the feeling with no memories to tie it to. Maybe that's what I've always wanted from my memories.”
She pushed off the wall and headed inside as soon as the doors opened even the smallest amount. Rounding the corner, I saw the guys surrounding the kitchen—Austin, Caellum, Jasper, and the proclaimed king, Bolton.
I had come here to drop off Caellum and Luna so I could handle Dorian's death, not whatever the fuck this was.
Bolton's arms were crossed, and his smug attitude I used to relate to had just become a broken record I was tired of hearing. I never purposely pushed myself away in his misery of blending in with humanity; it was natural.
I ignored them all, trying to usher Luna to my bedroom, when Bolton shouted, “Wanna explain?!”
I was forced to sit Luna down in a chair in my line of sight when I only stared at him unamused and not giving a damn thing away. Just a simple shrug instead. He could have those, maybe some middle fingers, and even a sarcastic frown.
“You want her here for this? Go throw her on your bed and make sure she doesn’t die. ”
Caellum snickered at Luna, so clearly out of it. “She's high. Swimming in her own memories.”
Bolton slammed his hand down on my counter. “Seriously, Nyx? This has your name all over it.”
“And…?” I only let my sentences fly out with Luna. Everyone else could choke on silence for all I cared.
Heavy is the crown who wears it, but that doesn't grant you loyalty in numbers.
“I'm still king. I'm still running shit, Arcadia or not.” His voice was strained, jaw tense, and shoulders pushed back, making a perfect poster.
“Yes, Captain. Oh, shit… I mean, sir. No, wait… That's wrong too. Yes, boss... Fuck it. They all leave a bad taste in my mouth.”
His glare was anything but subtle. It was a dagger already covered in blood; that's how mad he was.
“Watch it, Nyx.”
“Can I go now?” Neither of us broke eye contact.
“Why the fuck didn't you tell me you were making moves?” Sandpaper, that's how this felt. Sandpaper against my every nerve.
“Can I go now? Do you feel better?”
His voice got much louder, and I could see every part of him tense up: “Your girl wasn't the only one fucked up from that ritual! I just didn't do something this stupid to fix it. Dorian at Arcadia and now Luna's high? Should I be slow clapping for your stupidity that's putting us all in danger?”
Closing the gap between us, we were toe to toe, ready to fight it out. “Don't ever compare your precious Arianna’s memories being lost and coming back to what Luna has gone through. I love you, but you're making it easier to hate you right now.”
His fist curled up into my shirt, and I was silently begging him to hit me. I was stronger. I had been practicing every Friday, and he knew I wouldn't take it easy on him.
Caellum stood next to us, while Austin looked just as dazed as Luna, and Jasper was actually eating popcorn, while h
e sat on the counter.
Caellum’s always causal voice rang in my ears, even though I couldn't pull my eyes away to look at him. “Guys, come on. We need to figure out what to do with Dorian, not debate who's prettier. You're both pretty.”
Leave it to Caellum to be so unaffected by Bolton’s words.
Physically, I was the strongest, but Caellum was mentally a kind of strong that seemed like he had no demons running around up there.
“What were you doing at Arcadia?” I snapped, still in his grasp.
“None. Of. Your. Business.”
“Let fucking go of me, or we are gonna scrap.” I pushed out of Bolton’s grasp, picking up Luna and cradling her in my arms. I headed to my room, but not before shouting into the air, “If anyone touches my pet, I will murder each one of you with a goddamn smile on my face.”
This wasn't going anywhere.
It wasn't solving anything.
Luna needed my attention more. Kicking my door open with my boot, I walked to the bed before setting her down. She looked up at me, her thighs exposed and fingers in her mouth. “Did you fall in love with me because Arianna was taken by Bolton?”
The question hit me like a ton of bricks. Luna may have thought it, but she had never said it.
Tugging my shirt over my head, I tossed it into the chair. “No, I didn't have my memories when I came to Arcadia. I only had eyes for you.”
“Musical chairs…? Except she sat down with Bolton, and we were left standing.”
Her words felt a lot like weapons. Each syllable was slicing through me effortlessly.
I stood next to the bed and grasped the hem of her small ass dress. All I muttered was, “Up.” After pulling it over her head and dropping it to the floor, I yanked the covers out from under her and then pulled them back.
I could see the unshed tears in her eyes, not slicing through me, but burning my nerve ends. She was really thinking Arianna meant more. Even in Olympus, our relationship was purely friendship, nothing even past platonic hugs. Everything I felt was a dangerous secret.
Felt being key here.
I crawled on top of her, making her legs fall open for me. “Do I need to make you mine again?”