“Schlarghph!”
Without missing a beat, Ozzie grabbed both handrails on either side of the staircase, and swung his legs up like an Olympic gymnast on the parallel bars. With one swift movement, he launched the soles of his sneakers at the chest of the zombie in front of the other two, sending the three undead brain-cravers flying backward. They crumpled up into a subhuman heap of contorted limbs.
“Come on!” Ozzie said as the boys hustled down and jumped over the twisted mass of bodies. “Let’s go get the girls.”
“Wait,” Rice said. “What about Twinkles?”
At the sound of his name, Twinkles barked cheerily. The boys spotted him over by one of the concessions stands, licking at an old melted batch of what looked like—and hopefully was—bright pink cotton candy.
“Come on, Twinkles.” Zack whistled and the little pup perked up and trotted along behind them. They jogged off through the zombified theme park past a line of gumball machine stations on the side of the rainbow brick road.
“Why are there so many gumball machines in this place?” Ozzie asked, looking around as they took off through the undead havoc.
“Actually, Ozzie,” Rice began, “that’s an excellent question and I have the answer. The guy who started Fun World is like the coolest dude ever. Don’t you remember I wrote my who-do-you-most-admire essay on him in third grade, Zack?”
“Sort of.” Zack thought back, trying to remember. “Not really.”
“Ronald Jeffrey Bunkowski started off his career in the military. That took him to South America, where he fell in love with the daughter of a wealthy rubber baron. He was wounded in combat and given an honorable discharge. He then returned to South America and wound up marrying the rubber baron’s daughter. When the rubber baron died, he left the company to Bunco, which was his nickname in the army.”
“Rice, get to the point already.” Ozzie groaned.
“Patience, my friend,” said Rice with a wry smile, and continued with the tale. “Where was I? Oh yeah. So with the rubber company’s unique plot of gum trees deep in the Amazon, Bunco landed on a gold mine. He brought the Brazilian tree gum back to the United States and started a bubble gum factory, which made him a millionaire. Then he used the bubble gum money to follow his true dream of owning an amusement park where everything is full of fun. Hence, Bunco’s Fun World. That’s why everyone gets a free gumball with the price of admission. The dude’s got a famous bubble gum factory. He even has his own cruise ship called the SS Fun World. How do you not know this?”
The multicolored brick road led the boys downhill to a gumball machine–lined plaza in the center of the amusement park. Zack, Rice, and Ozzie stopped and stared up at a gold-plated statue of the Fun World founder. A realistically carved Mr. Bunco gripped the lapels of his sport coat and looked proudly out over what he had created.
At the far end of the plaza, the Fun World resort hotel stood high above all the other structures. The front of the hotel was in the likeness of a giant gumball machine. The entrance had shiny silver doors where the gumball slot would have been, and even from a distance, Zack could see a roiling mass of zombies teeming out the lobby.
Behind them, Zack, Rice, and Ozzie heard their dog barking. They turned their heads and followed the sounds until they saw Twinkles yapping at a group of zombies gathering under a palm tree in front of a costume shop, Halloween 365.
“Up here, doofuses,” Zoe’s voice yelled from up above, where she dangled from the parachute tangled in the treetops. She hung unhappily with zombie Madison still strapped to her front. “A little assistance, please!”
Zoe’s feet dangled above a small horde of zombified park employees decked out in their full-costume uniforms. There were six in total: three zombie cowboys from the Wild West saloon; two carney folk from the win-a-prize games, wearing tattered jackets with long coattails; and one overly tanned lifeguard from the waterpark. They all reached up, stretching their arms out of their shoulder sockets, howling for brains.
Ozzie, Zack, and Rice spread out, circling the undead crowd.
The costumed zombies spun around and glared savagely at the fresh meat that had just arrived. “Blaarrrrghle-ghlarghle!” one of the Wild West zombies yowled at the boys.
A gross explosion of lumpy yellow pus erupted off the zombie’s mouth as Ozzie rocked the beast with a lightning-quick elbow strike to its wobbling noggin.
At the same time, Rice ran around behind the zombie lifeguard and crouched at the back of its knees. The over-tanned undead beefcake looked back at Rice with a perplexed expression on its plug-ugly mug. Then Zack took a running start and drilled the zombie in the chest with his baseball bat like he was bunting a pitch.
WHAM! The rezombified beast flipped backward over Rice, who scampered on all fours out of the way. “Aw, yeah!” Rice cried, popping back up to his feet. “Works every time.”
“Nice thinking!” Zack said, laying out a low-five for his buddy to slap.
“Rice, watch out!” Ozzie hollered. Zack jumped back as Rice ducked out of the way of the undead carney lurching toward him. Rice then latched on to the zombie, hugging it around its leg like he was a human ball and chain. “Come on, guys,” he said, wrapped around the thing’s ankles. “Get ’im!” Ozzie and Zack joined hands and took a running Red Rover clothesline into the monster’s gut. The zombie toppled backward and knocked the back of its head against the pavement with a soggy-sounding clunk.
Up above, Zoe was starting to seem even crankier than usual.
“What’s she looking at us like that for?” Rice asked. “We just saved her butt.”
“Yeah, and my butt would have been saved a lot sooner had you three not been off riding roller coasters,” said Zoe. “Yeah, I saw you.”
“We had to ride the roller coaster to get away from the zombies,” Ozzie defended them.
“A likely story.” Zoe rolled her eyes. “But speaking of getting away from zombies, Madison’s really getting on my nerves.” Zombie Madison was busy wriggling and squirming in her parachute harness connected to Zoe.
Ozzie pulled a pair of scissors out from Rice’s backpack and shimmied up the palm tree. He clipped the parachute strings, and zombie Madison toppled hard to the ground, emitting an involuntary and foul-smelling belch as she landed.
“All right, you guys,” Ozzie said to them as Zoe carefully climbed down next to him. “Time to get inside and regroup.”
“In here,” Zoe said, tugging Madison by the collar and pulling her inside the Halloween 365 costume shop. “Come on, Biff,” she said to her zombified friend.
“Why are you calling her Biff?” Zack asked.
“Because that’s what she’s called when she’s a zombie BFF,” Zoe snapped.
“Whoa,” said Rice, turning around and taking in the whole costume shop. “This place is awesome!”
Zoe immediately started picking out princess dresses for her BFF and holding up options.
“Yuck!” Zoe squealed. “She’s all icky!”
“Zoe, what are you doing?” Zack asked.
“Gimme a break, little bro. I’m just trying to make her presentable. I’ll pay for everything,” she said. “I’d expect her to do the same for me.” Zoe continued to fix Madison’s hair, ignoring her little bro because that’s what big sisters do best. She then zipped Madison up in a pink princess dress before painting her revoltingly shriveled face with heavy layers of rosy blush and bright blue eyeliner. Zombie Madison snarled hideously as the makeover ended and Zoe fitted a plastic astronaut helmet over Madison’s freshly made-up face.
Ozzie picked up a map of Fun World from the checkout counter. “Okay, guys,” he said. “At this point, Olivia is not going to be out in the open. We need to do a sweep of the entire premises.”
“We’ve already been here and here,” Zack said, pointing at the map. “So we can cross off The Viper and the costume shop.”
“Hopefully the zombies didn’t already get her.”
“Rice!” said Zack. “Come
on. We gotta stay positive here.”
“You’re right, buddy,” said Rice. “My bad.”
“We gotta turn this place inside out,” said Ozzie. “We’ll go building by building.”
“Well, what are we waiting for!” Zoe said, untying zombie Madison from a clothing rack.
“Chill out,” said Rice. “If she’s here, we’re going to find her. Besides, my threads are getting pretty grimy in this Florida heat.” He was already sifting through the costume aisles, looking for a wardrobe change.
“Fine, but we gotta hurry up,” said Ozzie. peeking out at the ambling zombie hordes. “These Fun World freaks are starting to get curious.”
The front doors to the costume shop burst open and Zack sauntered out dressed like an Old West sheriff in a long beige coat with a silver star-shaped badge and a Stetson. Ozzie stepped out next looking sharp in a fresh set of camouflage fatigues from the Army Ranger costume. Zoe rocked a sparkly diva outfit with black leggings and a sequined top that made her look like a rocker from the 1980s. Rice of course had chosen the mad scientist costume: he had on a white lab coat, a funny blond wig, and a phony goatee. The last ones out the door were Twinkles and zombie Madison. Twinkles held the handle of the leash in his mouth, walking his undead owner.
They moved through the amusement park silently, sneaking under the radar of the zombie swarms, on the lookout for Olivia. But there was no sign of Madison’s vegan cousin. All Zack could see were zombies coursing through the theme park, viral soldiers in the war to infect and devour all humanity. The undead hordes funneled down the walkways, popping out from behind palm trees and thrill rides at every turn.
Zack and the gang glanced around at the maze of game booths and food vendors. They had to be quick and quiet like ninjas so the undead hordes wouldn’t detect them.
Over the din of undead groans, Zack heard a shrill human scream come from inside the nearest ride. “Hey, guys,” he said. “Did you just hear that?” Zack wanted to make sure. He was beyond tired and beginning to feel like his mind was playing tricks on him.
“Sure did,” Rice said. “Do you think it could be Olivia?”
“Hope so,” said Zoe. “Biff’s startin’ to get pretty stinky.” Zoe pinched her nostrils shut and made a dirty diaper face at her zombified BFF.
The Fun World Fun House towered over them. The entrance to the thrill ride was a brightly colored facade of flashing neon signs pointing to the entrance, where a rainbow-colored doorframe swayed mechanically in front of two black curtains leading inside.
The boys stood in front of the entrance hesitantly as Zoe sidled up next to them. “What’s the matter, boys?” she asked. “Scared of a little kiddie ride?”
“I heard this fun house is intense,” said Rice. “What if there are zombies in there?”
“Well,” Zoe contemplated, “then I guess it will stop being the fun house, now won’t it?”
As the boys peered in the dark tunnel entrance, Zoe dragged Madison along behind her, leading the way.
Once inside, the darkness receded as strobe lights flashed around every turn. Creepy sound effects played over the loudspeaker: cackles and wind and feline hisses. Zack, Ozzie, Rice, Twinkles, and zombie Madison crowded in behind Zoe.
“This is so cool!” Rice said too loudly as they progressed slowly through the spooky fun house.
“Olivia!” Zoe called out in a strained whisper.
“Eeeeeeee!” An identical scream to the one they’d heard outside blasted through the speakers and started a bolt of fear through Zack’s nervous system, followed by disappointment. The scream was not Olivia’s; it was a prerecorded sound effect.
“Let’s get out of here, guys,” Ozzie said. “She’s not—”
All of a sudden the lights went out as if by design, cloaking everything in blackness. Zombie moans could be heard grumbling faintly all around them from the front of the fun house and up ahead through to the end.
“Somebody just stepped on my foot,” Zoe said as she flailed her arm blindly in retaliation and nailed Zack in the shoulder.
“I didn’t step on anybody,” said Zack. “Ouch!”
“Me neither,” said Ozzie.
“That leaves only Rice,” Zoe said. “Watch where you’re going, you little twerp!”
Zoe shined the flashlight app on her smartphone. “Where is he?”
“Rice, quit messing around,” Zack and Ozzie jinxed each other, and squinted through the darkness.
“Guys,” Rice’s voice called out. “Over here. You have to follow the red dot. There’s a hidden pathway through here.”
Zack looked up and saw the tiny red dot of light leading the way out of the darkened room. They followed Rice through the blacked-out fun house until the low strobe lighting returned and they came to a room with three doors.
Zack looked behind door number one, but there was only a wall made out of Styrofoam bricks.
Rice opened door number two and—Blargh! Two zombies lunged out at him. “Ahh!” Rice cried, and dove out of the way of the cooped-up goons.
“O for two, guys,” Ozzie said, and took down the zombie hide-and-seekers, then flung open the third door.
Door number three led to another dark and narrow passageway with a sign overhead that read: BARREL-O-LAUGHS. As the kids entered the room, the speakers overhead blared with maniacal, cackling laughter. In front of them, a padded rotating spindle spanned from one end of the room to the other above a padded pit filled with fallen zombie fun house goers. The undead fun house freaks pawed at the sides of the sunken romper room.
“Okay, guys,” said Ozzie. “This isn’t that big of a deal. Just remember, run in a straight line as fast as you can.” Ozzie went first and sprinted across the rotating cylinder, no problem.
Zack tucked Twinkles into his sweatshirt and sprinted across. Halfway over the pit of zombies, he almost lost his footing on a puddle of slobber, but he reached his arms out and walked in place against the rotation of the padded spindle until his balance was sure again. With a deep breath, Zack let his mind go blank, ignoring the zombies reaching up on all sides of him as he proceeded forward and finally hopped off safely onto the other side.
Rice took off, making it across quickly until he slipped on his last step and went flying face-first. Zack gasped and lunged forward to help his friend, but luckily Rice bounced off the padding and rolled onto the platform at Zack’s feet. “Whoa-ho.” Rice chuckled to himself then looked up at his buddies staring down at him. “That was a close one.”
“Great job, losers, but what are we supposed to do about her?” Zoe asked, nodding her head at zombie Madison.
Zack and the boys scratched their heads. “Ummm . . .”
“I’m going back,” Zoe called across to them. “I’ll see you nimrods outside.” She turned around to make her way through the fun house and disappeared into the room with three doors. Two seconds later, she walked briskly back into the Barrel-O-Laughs obstacle room. “Never mind,” she said to the boys. “There’s a whole lot of zombies back there. What do I do?”
“Okay,” Zack shouted to his sister, “hang on to the leash and shove Madison into the zombie pit! You’re going to have to walk her across.”
“Walk?” Zoe asked. “I thought you said you have to run across?”
“No, we had to run across,” said Rice. “You have to walk across.”
“Thanks, doofus.” Zoe gripped the handle of the leash and pushed zombie Madison into the pit of rezombified Fun Worlders. “Here goes nothing,” she said, and started to navigate the padded spindle, taking short, quick steps to keep up with the rotations while holding on to Madison as she walked through the zombie pit beneath her.
“That’s it, Zoe!” Ozzie shouted. “You’re doing great. Keep it up!”
Zoe quick stepped across the rotating spindle like a true champion. After she made it to the other side, they hoisted zombie Madison out of the undead fun pit and hustled into the next room of the fun house: a twisting, turning labyrinth of di
storting mirrors.
Zack stood in front of the misshapen reflective glass and his midsection ballooned into a fat, swollen belly while Rice stood in front of another and watched his tummy shrink to the size of a supermodel’s. “Ha!” Rice shouted, looking at their reflections.
Zoe looked at herself in the infinity mirrors that seemed to replicate the same image over and over forever. “Now that’s the world I want to live in,” she said. “A million me’s!”
“Come on, guys,” Ozzie said. “We gotta split.”
“Eeeeek!” Zoe let out a hair-raising shriek as she hustled through the maze of mirrors. “There’s a zombie in here!”
“Where?” Rice shouted, spinning around. “Ahh! I just saw it over there!”
“Where?” Zack shouted, clutching his Louisville Slugger tightly. The zombie flashed in the fun house mirror. Zack took a swing.
SMASH! The aluminum bat connected with the zombie’s face—only it wasn’t the zombie’s actual face but just the reflection in the mirror. The fun house mirror shattered, and Zack spun around and saw the zombie again. He swung and shattered another mirror. Zack saw the zombie again and wound up one more time, but Rice grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.
“Zack, chill!” Rice shouted. “That’s like fourteen years bad luck already!”
“This way!” Zoe called, waving everyone toward the passageway to the next room.
Now they were on the brink of a nightmarish obstacle course of stairways with blank empty doorframes leading to more staircases.
The fun house stairways jerked and shifted as they tried to navigate the room and little geysers of compressed air shot under their feet as they moved.
“Rice, be careful,” Zack said to his buddy behind him, but there was no answer in return. He stopped at the top of the first mechanical stairway and looked back.
The Zombie Chasers #5 Page 5