Can’t Hurry Love

by Nadine Millard

  But… was Beth happy with it?

  And what about when she left? Got married, had kids? The thought popped into his head, catching him unawares. He hadn’t pondered the future since he’d decided to take the plunge with Beth. He hadn’t allowed himself to, wanting to just enjoy some time with her before his complicated past inevitably caused problems. And he couldn’t be sitting here thinking marriage and babies after what, two days together?

  It was way too soon.

  And he wasn’t ready for that. Didn’t know if he’d ever be…

  “So we need to really consider getting someone in here to help out,” Beth’s voice cut through Josh’s thoughts. “I know we talked about it, but the bakery is getting busier by the day, and wedding season is coming up, not to mention the tourist season. I’ll need to be at the bakery a lot more.”

  “And you can’t stay here forever.”

  Grayson’s eyes darted between Beth and Josh as he spoke in that quiet, steady way of his, and Josh got the impression that maybe Beth’s big brother wasn’t as relaxed about them as he’d first thought. He also got the impression that nobody at this table thought this was a casual thing.

  Hell, who was he kidding? He didn’t think it was a casual thing, either.

  What did that even mean? Truth be told, he didn’t know. But he suspected the heart he’d been so sure was closed off forever was opening up for business.

  “You trying to get rid of me?” Beth joked, but the tell-tale flush on her cheeks gave her away. She’d heard the implication in Grayson’s words, too.

  Was that what had her on edge?

  He’d known that her brothers would guess that something was going on between them when he showed up here with her wearing his clothes. And it hadn’t bothered him. But did it bother her? Had he pushed too far, too soon?

  Probably, he conceded.

  Especially when he wasn’t even sure yet how much of himself he could give to her. Wasn’t sure if he was brave enough to do it all over again.

  Beth was different. He was different. The way he felt about her? That was brand new.

  But he hadn’t come out of his marriage unscathed. The scars were still healing. Weren’t they?

  “I’m trying to plan for the next time you disappear for two days,” Grayson answered with another look in Josh’s direction. “If that’s going to be a regular thing?”

  Shit.

  That was as close to a ”What are your intentions with my baby sister?” as things could get really.

  He shifted slightly in his seat, not knowing if Grayson was expecting an answer from him or from Beth. He glanced over to see that her cheeks had gone from pink to fiery red. And that uneasiness was back in her eyes as they briefly met his before dropping to her plate.

  Josh realised that by putting off the conversation about his past, by wanting to just enjoy the feeling of letting himself be happy without his doomed marriage getting in his way, he’d done nothing to let Beth know how he felt about her. The doubt he’d seen earlier when Seth had asked if he was staying… the uneasiness he’d noticed in her more than once — he’d put it all there because he hadn’t wanted to face any of it. Which was fine for him because he knew that at the end of it all, he wanted her. Whatever it took. However long it took him to sort through his crap, now that he’d let her in just a little, he knew a little wasn’t enough. Suspected that he’d never not want her.

  But she didn’t know that. He hadn’t told her that. He’d been too busy dragging her into his bed.

  The silence started to grow uncomfortable. Grayson looked implacable. Zach looked a little pissed, truth be told. Seth looked as if he was enjoying himself.

  Josh waited a little longer for Beth to speak. At the end of the day, this was her family. It wasn’t his place to get in the middle of them all. But he hated that she felt uncomfortable and unsure. Hated that he’d caused that with a year of cat and mouse and then never actually having an adult conversation.

  It was time to snap out of his naval gazing and put himself out there for once. Josh sat forward and reached a hand out to grab Beth’s.

  “I’m hoping it’ll be a regular thing.” He spoke directly to Grayson but felt Beth’s eyes on him. “But that’s obviously up to your sister.”

  When he turned to look at her, the expression on her face literally made his heart skip. He didn’t think that happened in real life. He really was turning into one of her sappy romance novel guys. And he couldn’t even dredge up any disgust in himself for it.

  “Yeah, Grayson. It’ll be a regular thing,” she said softly, and damned if his heart didn’t skip all over again.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  It was one of those perfect Rocky Valley nights, when the sky was clear of clouds and the bite of winter had come and gone. Beth looked up at the never-ending stars. In twenty-six years, this view had never bored her, and she knew it never would.

  She sat on the big swing that her parents used to sit on almost every evening, just talking and being together. As a kid, she’d wondered how they didn’t die of boredom sitting there, sometimes completely silent. Now, with the ranch splayed out before her, and Josh pressed to her side; she got it. She really did.

  And it felt amazing.

  The swing was rocking gently, she was curled under Josh’s arm, and he was playing with one of her curls. It was as close to perfect happiness as she’d ever felt.

  “How’s your foot?” Josh asked softly, as if he was enjoying the quiet as much as she was.

  “It’s fine. Those painkillers you gave me really do the trick.”

  “The perks of being a doctor’s girlfriend, huh?”

  Beth’s stomach exploded with butterflies. All her concerns from earlier just melted away. She was still curious about what had been going on for the past year. Of course she was. She wouldn’t be human if she wasn’t! And there was a niggling voice in her head that was still filled with doubt about it, and why it had suddenly changed.

  But being called his girlfriend was doing a pretty stellar job of drowning that voice out, she had to admit. “I’m a doctor’s girlfriend?” she asked. “Who knew?”

  His grin was heart-stopping as he reached over and pulled her into his lap. “Hey, Beth?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Wanna be my girlfriend?”

  She laughed at how juvenile it sounded.

  “I don’t know, Doc,” she said. “You kept me guessing for a year. Maybe I should make you wait for an answer.”

  His face turned suddenly serious. “We really do need to talk about that,” he said.

  His eyes darkened with pain and Beth felt awful for putting that look there when his mood had been so playful.

  “Tell you what,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck. “Let’s make this whole girlfriend thing official. We can always talk tomorrow.”

  She felt vaguely uneasy about stalling the conversation. Knowing that she was putting off something she was worried she wouldn’t want to hear. He had spent a year pushing her away, and he’d made more than one cryptic comment about hurting her, or not giving her what she wanted…

  But on the other hand, she was sitting here in his lap about to get exactly what she wanted…

  Ruthlessly pushing her misgivings aside, she leaned forward and pressed her mouth against his. As soon as their lips touched, the flame between them roared to life.

  “So, you’re saying yes?” he asked against her lips.

  “I’m saying yes,” she whispered back.

  “And your brothers are definitely gone?” He pulled back to look into her eyes. “I mean, I know this all feels a bit teenagery, but I draw the line at getting caught by your scary older brothers.”

  “Everyone is in bed,” she laughingly assured him.

  “Not everyone.” He winked, and her stomach flipped again.

  She wondered if she’d ever not get butterflies when he looked at her like that. She hoped not.

  They didn’t technically make it a
s far as a bed, but she wasn’t complaining.

  The week was flying by, and Beth was enjoying every second of it.

  She was still helping Paige out with the festival, even though she’d bowed out of the whole dating part of it. In fact, this morning she was hosting a special brunch, encouraging the participants to ask someone to join them over coffee and sweet treats. She was thrilled to see Gerald Linney here with a girl more suited to him. And John the actuary had shown up a few minutes ago with Elsie Caine, a really sweet accountant who had been a couple of years ahead of Beth in school. Judging from Elsie’s blushes and John’s smiles, they seemed to be getting on great.

  Maybe it was just because she was happy, but it really did seem like everyone was happy right then.

  Looking out the window to Main Street, Beth saw Paige standing toe to toe with Mason Decker.

  Okay. Maybe not everyone was happy.

  As Beth watched, kind of shocked at Paige’s anger — something she’d never really displayed before — Paige turned and stomped away from Mason toward the bakery, her golden ponytail swinging furiously with each step.

  Mason stood staring at her, looking a little shellshocked, and, if Beth wasn’t mistaken, kind of impressed.

  The door to the bakery flew open, and Paige marched over to the counter, her green eyes flashing.

  “Hey,” Beth said hesitantly. “You ok?”

  Paige dropped on to a stool, slamming her purse to the stool beside her. “I’m fine,” she said, a little snippily. “I just came over to check on how things are going.”

  Beth blinked, taken aback by Paige’s tone. “Um. It seems to be going well. Lots of people coupled up.”

  She paused, but Paige didn’t say anything, just took out her phone, and furiously clicked on the screen.

  “Do — do you want some tea?”

  Still nothing.

  “Or something stronger?”

  Finally, Paige looked up with a confused frown. “Huh?” she asked.

  “You kind of look as if you’re going to kill someone. So, I figured I’d offer a bit of Dutch courage for the murder.”

  “Ugh, I’m sorry Beth. I just— That man! He’s driving me crazy.”

  “Still no luck with getting him to back off the library?” Beth asked sympathetically.

  Paige sighed and rubbed a hand across her forehead. “No…” She sighed. “…and with the festival and everything, I haven’t even had a chance to look into how I can stop him.”

  Beth felt immediately guilty. She knew she’d been distracted by Josh and not around as much as she should be. It had been because of her that Paige had agreed to throw the festival in the first place, and Beth had just abandoned her. Sure, she was helping a little, but not as much as she would have if she hadn’t been spending so much time with Josh.

  She’d stayed last night at his place so she could get to the bakery earlier this morning and set up for the brunch. But she could have just as easily stayed with Paige and checked in with her friend about everything.

  The problem was that she craved time with him. Even this morning, as busy as she’d been, she’d missed him. She had it bad. Really bad. And because he had turned out to be not as wonderful as she’d imagined, but even more so, it was impossible not to want to be around him every second of every day.

  But Beth had never wanted to be one of those women who forgot all about her friends just because she was in a relationship.

  She reached under the counter and pulled out a slice of pecan pie, Paige’s favourite, before setting it in front of her friend.

  “Eat this,” she instructed. “I’ll get you some tea, and then tonight, we’ll have dinner and lots of wine, and see if we can’t figure this out.”

  “You’re not busy with Dr. Larson?” Paige smiled.

  “Free as a bird,” Beth said, even though she had made plans to eat with Josh this evening. But he’d understand. “You text Brooke. I’ll tell Jenna and Zoe.”

  “Okay,” Paige said brightly, already looking happier. “Besides, you need to fill us in on what’s going on with Thor.” She giggled.

  Beth rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t keep the grin off her face.

  “Hey, that reminds me. Should we invite Tara? Since she came up with the nickname, I figure I owe her the details, too.”

  “Yeah, I’ll call into Bella’s on my way back to the diner,” Paige said, picking up her fork to dig into her pie. “Thanks, Beth,” she said softly. “I feel better already.”

  “You listened to me about Josh for a year,” Beth said. “The least I can do is listen to you about Mason Decker.”

  “At least yours is a love story,” Paige said, that glint in her eye again. “This one is most definitely not.”

  Beth, remembering that look Mason had given Paige’s retreating back, wasn’t so sure about that. But given Paige’s current mood, she wasn’t brave enough to say so.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Josh’s phone buzzed in his pocket as he waved Mr. Newman out the door. The old man was crotchety as all get out, but Josh was used to him now.

  Like everything else in Rocky Valley.

  He’d been distracted all morning, not great for a doctor, admittedly, but thankfully, there wasn’t anything major happening requiring his attention.

  Beth was on his mind. He couldn’t believe how much he missed being around her. But it wasn’t just Beth he’d been thinking about. Since dinner at her place on Monday night, Josh had been really considering his life, his choices. He’d told Beth last weekend that he wasn’t sure how long he’d be hanging around Rocky Valley.

  But the more he thought about leaving, the more the idea left him cold. And it wasn’t just because of her, though she played a big part in that.

  He’d thought that being anywhere but Chicago would have helped him get over everything that had happened with Elaine. But now, he wasn’t so sure.

  He couldn’t imagine himself anywhere else. The idea of going back to a city hospital left him cold. Small town life suited him a lot more than he ever would have imagined. He liked the pace of life. Liked that people still looked out for each other. He’d made some good friends. Gotten to know his patients.

  And yeah. He’d fallen in love. Real love. Not feelings developed by moving in the same social circles or attending the same types of schools or living in the same worlds. Feelings that came from a connection that happened all on its own. Sexual attraction, sure, but it was more than that.

  Last night he’d managed not to burn steak and potatoes, and Beth had brought home some brownies from the bakery. They’d eaten and talked and just gotten to know each other on a level Josh had never experienced. Not even with his wife, which was a pretty good indication of just how doomed that relationship had been.

  Beth had told him about her upbringing as the youngest and only girl in a big, raucous family. And he’d told her about his as the only child of two socialites. On paper they couldn’t have been more different. Yet Josh had never felt more like his true self as when he was with her.

  But for all his happiness, he still hadn’t mentioned Elaine or the baby. Still hadn’t told her why he’d been afraid to make that leap. Did it even matter anymore though?

  Part of him thought it didn’t.

  He’d tell her, of course he would. But now that things were going so well, did he need to bring up something so awful? Every day he felt its hold on him loosen. Every day he felt surer that he could really shake it off and move on. The idea of marrying again, something that even just weeks ago had felt impossible, didn’t scare him anymore. And before, planning a future with someone had been so far outside of the realms of possibility that he couldn’t have even considered it.

  But now — now he couldn’t imagine a future without Beth in it.

  In some ways, he was shocked at how quickly his outlook had changed. And in others, he knew it hadn’t been quick at all. It had started that first evening he’d bumped into her at Bella’s Diner…

&nb
sp; Suddenly feeling nostalgic about that first night and wishing that he hadn’t wasted a year being apart from Beth, he pulled out his phone to suggest that they eat there tonight, kind of like a do-over, but saw on the screen that she’d texted first.

  Hey. There’s an impromptu girls’ night tonight. I wouldn’t blow you off if it wasn’t necessary. This is to prevent a murder! Hope that’s ok with you? Don’t give yourself food poisoning! I miss you xx

  Well, that sort of scuppered his plans. He was disappointed but wouldn’t to stop her from seeing her friends. Not that he’d been given a choice. He kind of loved that about her. He quickly typed out a response.

  As a doctor, I took an oath to preserve human life, so it’s definitely ok. I miss you too. If you stay at mine tonight, I can show you how much. ; )

  God, that was cheesy. He didn’t care though.

  And actually, her being busy tonight gave him a chance to speak to Beck. Josh had been thinking over a lot of things in the last few days, and it was time to make some decisions. If girls’ night was tonight, that meant Zoe would be busy, too, leaving Beck free to, hopefully, help Josh out with what he wanted.

  He sent another text asking his friend if he was free for a bite after work before calling for his next patient.

  As Mrs. Brody came through the door with a squalling baby, Josh’s phone buzzed again.

  He glanced down to see a response from Beth.

  Deal, hot stuff xx

  He doubled-checked to make sure that was from Beth before turning his attention to a little female who seemed a lot less impressed with him than she was.

  The drinks were flowing a lot more than Beth had expected, but Beth wasn’t complaining. It wasn’t often that they all really let their hair down, especially Paige who really seemed to need this.

  Stephanie dropped another round of cocktails on the table in front of them, and Paige was reaching for one before Beth had even handed over the money for the drinks.