by Elena Monroe
He handed me a joint that looked like I rolled it to begin with. The edges were too perfect, and there were no bumps in the paper like amateurs had. “Are you offering me my own pot?”
His head fell back, like he forgot it was a joint he probably got off of me. I took it anyways. I had picky taste, and I didn't sell shit I wouldn’t smoke myself.
I heard Addi shout my name in the same tone she just got done using on her sister, so I ignored her. Leon knew how much we taunted each other, and we laughed, knowing her tight little ass was about to come over and make sure I heard her in an even worse tone.
“Hunter. We have rehearsal dinner. Are you just not coming?”
I breezed past her, grabbing my jean jacket from hanging on the back of a chair. “Lose the attitude, and I'll consider it.”
I stood in front of her, waiting patiently. This dinner didn't matter to me. It was some tradition I was stressed about upholding. All I wanted to do was marry the girl scolding me right now for calling her on her shit.
“You're so annoying.”
“That doesn't count towards your apology when it's insulting.”
Her eyes rolled back, and she whispered her apology so no one could hear it, not even me.
“What was that? You wanna hold off on getting married until the attitude clears up? I totally get it, babe.”
Leon was about to piss himself, when her brows dipped down in anger and then released into laughter. “I hate you. Let's go.”
The restaurant downstairs located in our hotel had a private room that was intimate enough for the wedding party. I was avoiding anything too dramatic. Liz squealed when she saw Layla, Hayley, and Maddison—the original Sinners in the flesh at my wedding. There was no real way around not inviting them if we invited Liz. Her plus one would multiply so that every Sinner would be there, so I didn’t give her a chance. I comfortably invited them, because their sins paled in comparison to how criminal I was.
I glanced over at Layla, testing if I had anything left hiding in my heart. Addi’s love wasn't going to condone being roomies inside my small black heart, but it was nice to finally look in her direction and feel nothing.
Relief.
Contentment.
No longer a crutch.
I left the Sinners in the room alone, with every one of the guys present: Ollie, Aspen, and Caden. I had nothing of value to say to them. I was never truly part of their little club, so I kept my distance.
Looking around the room, I didn't see Jade present and accounted for, so I texted her number with just the letters: ETA.
I slipped my phone back into my pocket, surveying the guests, mainly because I had no one to greet, except my sister who was coming with my dad and stepmom. All my support was late.
Addi leaned into me, with her shoulder digging into my chest. “Who's the hottie with Caden? She looks like a real life Snow White.”
I shrugged, having never seen her before in my life, but I was interested if the playboy of their group with the mommy issues finally found someone before he caught something like an STD or a nine month virus that ended in a real life infant.
I felt arms around my waist. I stiffened and lifted my arms up alarmed, until I realized it was my little sister. She loved Addi almost as much as I did, and there wasn't any way I was getting married without her there. She quickly moved on to my bride, who was wearing some sparkly see through dress that made her look like an angel. When I caught her eyes, we exchanged the same look, confirming just how much she wasn't angel.
Addi’s dad tapped a knife to his glass and made the announcement for everyone to sit. He made everything sound official when he spoke. I felt my nerves come to life as I sat next to Addi at a table only for the wedding party, with one seat still empty. I was on display, facing everyone, hoping I'd fade into the black walls that matched my black outfit.
The speeches started with Addi’s parents, then Liz. My sister rapped to Fresh Prince’s theme song, but exchanged the lyrics so that they related to us, and that's when my missing guest strolled in, picking up a glass of champagne at the door.
Jade West. In the flesh.
She was already smirking, and she couldn't even see Ollie’s face from the entrance where she stood. She made it across the room to kiss my cheek from behind. “Sorry I'm late. I got lost a few times.” She moved on to kissing Addi’s cheek, while hugging her from behind. They had gotten close, since I gave into Addi that day and I defended my right to her heart. I watched Jade sit down next to Leon, and her eyes found Ollie’s right away.
The whole room went quiet, and the Sinners all looked either panicked or pissed.
I was eating up every minute of pissing them off on purpose—the same way they did to me countless times in college for an incident they weren't present for. I was purposely making life harder for the innocent bitch who lead me on for five years.
Payback is a bitch.
Ollie got up, pissed. He poured his drink down his throat, while he stood there—the tallest one in a room full of sitting people—before he walked with purpose toward Jade. I was on edge, waiting to jump into something that wasn't my fight if I needed to.
“You have some nerve showing up here!” He didn’t move any closer, knowing she’d be paying attention to his words.
Jade didn't move one inch either, leaning further back in her seat, showing how comfortable she actually was. “This is a non-Sinners event. Are you here for the bride or... groom?” Her voice was full of sarcasm, and it made a smirk on steroids spread on my face.
In the end, I won. He took the battles of my youth, but I won the war. And my trophy? Well, she was marrying me tomorrow.
Caden
I had been wondering the whole time why every Sinner got invited to Hunter’s wedding when none of us softened how we felt about him. It wasn’t for the open bar and certainly not because he was marrying Liz’s little sister. He was always going to be the guy wicked enough to blur the lines between consent and rape.
Not a Sinner—something worse.
I was prepared for this to be a shit show, and I was going to sit back, watching it implode.
It all made sense when all our heads twisted to see who had the balls to arrive after the speeches started. None of the Sinners saw the teal ends and vile personality coming.
Jade West.
The mother of Ollie’s son, Arson.
The notorious dealer of Amherst College.
The one who left Ollie alone, while his body convulsed and his mouth foamed while he overdosed.
The same person who played mom for five years before calling it quits with nothing but a note left on his pillow.
I loathed this bitch. I was the one cleaning up her messes, and it was reason enough of my own.
I had just left bachelorhood behind, and I was doing everything in my power to sway Sabrina into thinking I was a saint. I had to beg her to even be here next to me, and when I wrote a very large check, she cashed it. I wasn’t above paying for someone’s time, their presence, and what I wanted from them. When it came to sex, though, I expected it to come for free.
My personality? Acquired taste.
My dick? Now, that was for anyone.
For now, Sabrina was just an expensive friend and a cock block that kept me from fucking anyone else until she changed her mind. I was stone cold sober from all my vices—sex, weed, booze stiflingly so. I was trying so hard to be a saint that I didn’t account for Ollie losing it at the sight of Jade and me having to have his back.
I leaned into Sabrina. “This is gonna get ugly, fast. I’m sorry in advance.”
She didn’t hate me enough to roll her eyes still. I’m sure basically giving her free reign to my checking account helped.
“I’m sure you don’t do ugly anything.” Her voice was raspy and deep, like she had been sassy her whole life and her voice paid the price.
Shit was about to hit the fan, and I didn’t need to be this sober. I had been good enough for too long. Reaching over t
he table, sitting next to Sabrina, I swiped Aspen’s drink and shot it back in one gulp. It wasn’t enough to do anything but act like placebo.
Just enough.
Sabrina chalked me up to be exactly what everyone else did: a pretty face and no depth. Sabrina, on the other hand, was full of depth and mystery that kept me up at night, while I wasn’t having sex. She wouldn’t tell me where she lived or anything about herself. The only real facts I had were that she cater waiters on the weekends for extra cash and holds down two other jobs to make rent.
That’s how I met Snow White in the flesh, at Liz’s wedding, where she had been working. Layla, being the confident devil she was now, charged over to her to put in a good word, probably out of pity that I was the only single one left. Sabrina shot me down without hearing her out first, making it clear she wasn’t interested, and that alone made me want to be a saint if the Sinner in me wasn’t her speed.
I had never been rejected before, as surprising as that may seem.
Ollie stood up next to me, making me break my neck to keep an eye on him and Layla, his pregnant fiancé. She was turning a shade of red I knew as embarrassment. My anxiety and need to protect everyone was on high alert, waiting for his next move.
“You have some nerve showing up here!” Thankfully, he chose to shout from where he stood, drawing every pair of eyes to us.
“This is a non-Sinners event. Are you here for the bride or... groom?” Jade responded.
“I didn’t know you’d be here. I would have brought our child that you abandoned.”
The fist in front of my mouth was keeping me muffled when I let my teeth bite down on my knuckles. I was waiting for him to go too far before I stepped in.
Jade finally stood up, and Hunter mimicked her actions, like he was doing exactly what I was, keeping people in line as much as we could—me, the Sinner, and him, something even more unholy.
“Oh, please, still crying about every hardship? I’m sure Arson is fine with my replacement. Hey, look at that. You knocked her up too. Congrats!” Her voice was everything I remembered about Jade.
Toxic.
I stood up, knowing the exact moment we crossed that imaginary line: when she mentioned Layla. That was his weak spot. I held my hand on his chest, even though he hadn’t moved yet. I could anticipate every move. That’s what happens when you sin alongside someone since high school.
The girl he didn’t know how to love turned into the girl he lost himself over. It took five years to get her back, so when anyone mentioned her, his ears perked up and his fists were ready to defend her.
“You’re a fucking coward, Jade. Always have been. Hiding behind your bad childhood and drugs. You don’t know how to be brave enough to be loyal to anyone, let alone that fucking rapist.”
That line? We were driving eighty past it now.
My fingers wrapped around Ollie’s arm, and in an authoritative voice that I hoped he’d listen to, I said, “Enough. Let’s go. Outside.”
I had to drag Ollie out of the room, and while I did, my wide eyes found Hunter’s. “Might wanna control your mouthpiece.”
This is why the Sinners were invited. Hunter wanted to drive home how much he had won the last laugh. He wanted our respect, but he wasn’t ever going to win that.
Ollie yanked his arm back and started pacing, like he’d explode if he didn’t. If memory served; he wasn’t wrong. “What the fuck is she doing here? She’s friends with Hunter, but can’t pick up a phone to say ‘hey’ to her kid? Seriously?”
I leaned against the wall, with my shoulder pressed into the textured wallpaper, because Vegas wasn’t ever basic. “Just calm down. This is what he wants: for you to lose it.” It was all I could think of to say, even though my own adrenaline didn’t buy it either.
In college, I was better with the accomplice role, I would be the first one plotting revenge or getting in someone’s face. I had even gotten in Layla’s face for pushing too hard to know my sins. I was sober, single, brushing thirty, and hadn’t had sex in two weeks. Let’s just say, I wasn’t myself. The best thing I could be was the moral compass to a bunch of Sinners who lost theirs a long time ago. I started walking away, forgetting I even left Sabrina, my paid date, but no one knew that.
Ollie shouted in my direction, “Where are you going?”
“I’m too sober. I need a bar.”
Ollie caught up pretty quickly, while his eyes grilled me as we walked. He knew something was off, and explaining it all was going to make me sound crazy or pathetic. I hadn’t decided which. At least I was pulling focus from his anger—one upside.
“What’s going on with you? You’ve been moody. Puberty finally hit?”
Vegas wasn’t hard to navigate; it went hallway, lights, extra ass décor, and alcohol in every corner of every room. I walked up to a small bar, where I could only assume waitresses grabbed drinks for those gambling. It was low key enough to have a baseball game playing on a big screen behind the bar, so I took a seat and propped two fingers in the air for service.
“Nothing. It’s bullshit that doesn’t matter. You’re the one ready to hit a girl.”
After three shots of vodka and two beers, I felt like a light weight. All my secrets were ready to spill without any fight to keep them. I never kept anything from the Sinners, but paying for a girl’s attention? I was going to die with that secret.
I heard Toby Montgomery’s voice, the kid I tormented in high school, except now he kept me in line most of the time, in the back of my head: “You peaked in high school. Now you’re just a sad, single fuck boy.”
Ollie ordered another round of shots, “I wasn’t gonna hit her… Maybe just yell in close proximity. What’s the deal with Sabrina? You don’t normally entertain repeats.”
I pulled out my phone, wondering if she had texted about where I went or if she was pissed I abandoned her in a room full of strangers. I knew before I pressed the button to light up the screen that she hadn’t. I was desperate to buy this girl’s love, and nothing I did was working.
I was swirling down a dark hole—one that made me contemplate every aspect of my life and how things could have been different if I were a better person.
“She hates me. She doesn’t like me at all, and I’m too dumb to accept that.” I wasn’t slurring words yet, but I was close enough, without being incoherent.
I felt Ollie’s hand on my shoulder in sympathy. Fatherhood made him slightly softer. “Dude, she’s here with you. She can’t hate you, or she wouldn’t have taken a plane all the way to Vegas.”
I laughed maniacally, but the universe cut off my response when two guys came up to me with big grins holding their phones out. I knew what was coming. They were asking for a photo and a promise of a winning season. It came with the job of playing pro baseball.
I stared at Ollie, with a glimmer of the bad Caden showing through. “For old times’ sake? Get some of this frustration out?”
I looked behind my shoulder at the two men standing there, waiting patiently for my attention. “Not today.” I didn’t even sprinkle a sorry—a word I got used to using.
My contract with the Red Sox was iron clad in helping me to stay sober and trouble free. I hadn’t earned the right to break any rules until now, when I decided a World Series and three years was long enough before I started being myself again.
The ginger in the public relations office was going to have to spin what I was about to do next in a positive light. I was over this saintly fucking act, when every inch of me was coursing with the urge to sin.
The two men went from hopeful to pissed off. “It’s one picture. It’ll only take a minute.”
My eyebrows shot up as I turned around to face them, like their argument was working how they wanted. “Oh, yeah? Still no. I’m busy.” My voice was as cutthroat as I remembered. It felt good to be bad again. No more of this good boy bullshit.
Ollie stood next to me, begging for someone to test his desire for a fight. “Do we have a problem?”
I laughed, and it spurred on their anger even more. I stood up and shoulder checked the one guy as I did. Ollie wanted a fight? He was gonna get one.
“You’re a fucking asshole.”
That’s all it took for me to be right in his face and my chest pushing against his, hoping I broke his morals as much as mine were broken. “What are you gonna do about it?” I’m sure he could feel my hot breath wretched with the scents of the shots (cinnamon, coconut, espresso…), hitting his face. His fists were balled up, and he swung but missed greatly. I now knew why he watched sports and didn’t play them. Ollie was taking care of his friend, and I didn’t have time to assess the damage happening next to me.
Grabbing a fistful of the material of his shirt, I yanked him closer, after missing his window to land a shot. Everyone had one free shot; after that, it was pound for pound. Before I could land a shot, I felt security’s hands on me, twisting my arm behind my back roughly.
Go ahead. Break it. There’s a clause for that in my contract too. Paid time off is what we call that.
Ollie wasn’t in the mood to be restrained, and luckily one of the security guards recognized me—that turned everything in my favor. “Are these guys bothering you?”
Addi wasn’t the only one with acting chops. I was acting every day of my life, pretending to care when people talked, pretending to a be a saint when my insides were corrupt, pretending to charm my way into someone’s underwear, pretending I wasn’t breaking all the rules by keeping secrets from the people I’m not supposed to do that with.
“It’s cool. Just let them go…” and just like that, I got sucker punched, right in the nose. It wasn’t enough to break anything, but it sure as hell was going to disrupt my pretty features tomorrow with a sizable bruise. I stepped back, holding my hand to my nose, trying to swallow the pain, while I ordered another shot.