Bastard

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Bastard Page 38

by J. L. Perry


  The oncologist got pathology to take a round of blood tests and perform another scan before we left the hospital. Megan laid down in the bed with Indi when we got home, so I headed over to my mum’s house. I wanted it to be me lying with her, but Megan will be heading back overseas soon, so I didn’t want to be selfish. They need their time together. If I have my way, I’ll have the rest of my life to spend with Indiana.

  Tomorrow is D-day. We have an appointment in the morning to see if the radiation therapy has been successful. I’m in two minds about it. I’m both excited and scared to hear the results. I can only imagine how Indiana feels. If this radiation hasn’t cured her, I don’t know what I’ll do.

  ••••

  Friday morning, the five of us pile into Ross’ car: our parents, as well as Megan. We’re all going with her today for moral support. Let’s hope she doesn’t need it. Indiana has been quiet ever since she woke. I can’t really blame her. She has a lot riding on today. Even though I have been through the treatment every step of the way, I wasn’t the one who was sick. I’m not the one whose very future is relying on a good outcome. Regardless of what happens, I do know that I will remain by her side no matter what.

  As we sit in the waiting room waiting for her to be called for her appointment, she turns to me, clutching my hand in hers. “Carter. I know you’ve come in to hold my hand for every appointment, and I appreciate it more than you know.” Okay, I don’t like where this is heading. “Would you mind if I went in alone today?”

  There it is. Yes I fucking would. Hurt consumes me that she wouldn’t want me in there with her. Even though from the beginning, I did force that upon her. I want to be her rock. I don’t want her to have to face what the doctor has to say alone. What if the prognosis isn’t good?

  “Is that what you really want?” I ask, trying hard not to let her see I’m hurt. I have to put my wants and needs aside. Ultimately, this is about her. This is her life, her future. If it’s something she really wants, then I need to respect that. Nobody says I have to like it, because frankly I don’t. Not one bit.

  When the nurse calls her name, we both rise. “Are you sure?” I ask again wrapping her in my arms.

  “I’m sure.” I tighten my embrace briefly before kissing the top of her head.

  Pulling back, I cup her pretty face in my hands, making eye contact with her. I can see the uncertainty on her face. It tugs at my heart. “Okay. Good luck,” I whisper with all the confidence I can muster.

  “Thank you. Just so you know, I wouldn’t have been able to do this without you.” A lump rises to my throat as I briefly wrap her in my arms again. She’s got this. I know it.

  I sit back down. My heart is beating furiously against my ribcage. My eyes are on her as she follows the nurse towards the door. I watch as she briefly stops before entering. Holding her head high, I see her inhale a large breath before squaring her shoulders. I’m in awe of her. The lump in my throat grows. She’s so strong, so kick-arse. I’m so damn proud. She’s got this in the bag.

  Once she disappears, my eyes move to Megan’s legs that are bouncing nervously beside me. Then my gaze moves towards my mum’s hand clenched around Ross’. It brings a brief smile to my face. For some reason, seeing them together makes me happy. I know they’re just friends, but they have become so close over the past few months. This is going to sound really pathetic, but sometimes I imagine in my head that they're married. That they are my parents. I know it’s just wishful thinking on my part, but fuck me if I don’t want that.

  Eventually, I stand and start to pace. It seems like it is taking forever for her to come out, when in reality, only fifteen minutes have passed. My eyes are firmly trained on the door she went through earlier.

  A few minutes later it opens. My heart skips a beat. When she walks out, she stops. Her eyes go to our parents, then Megan. When they lock with mine I hold my breath. I release it when a huge smile forms on her face. Pure fucking relief floods through me when she says the three words I’ve been praying for. “I’m cancer free.”

  Quickly closing the distance between us, I pull her into my arms, swinging her around. I’m so fucking happy right now. When I place her back on her feet, her arms snake around my waist before she does something she hasn’t done since her diagnosis. She sobs into my chest. Tears of joy rise to my eyes.

  Thank fuck. My girl is going to be okay.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Carter

  Indiana has to continue to have three monthly check-ups, just to make sure the cancer doesn’t return. Fuck, I hope it doesn’t. Nevertheless, we’re all buzzing on the drive home from the hospital.

  Ross took us all out to celebrate that night. Her news definitely called for a celebration. We had a great time. I think we all feel like a huge weight has been lifted off our shoulders. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Indiana or her father smile so much.

  There is a small cloud hanging over my head. There’s something I need to discuss with Indi, and I’m worried how she’s going to take it. I’ve been putting it off the last few days for that very reason.

  Later that night when we’re lying in bed, I decide to bring it up. I’m leaving in the morning, so it’s now or never. “I need to talk to you about something,” I say to her as she lies in my arms, drawing lazy circles on my chest with her finger. We not long ago finished making love. Fuck it’s good to be back to normal again.

  “About what?” she asks, her finger stilling.

  “Well, you know I have to go back home tomorrow morning. Jax is coming up to help me move all the furniture in the apartment, ready for the builders to start the renovations on Monday.”

  “And?”

  “And, I was thinking maybe it would be better if you stayed down here.”

  “What? Why?” she asks, raising her head to make eye contact with me. I can clearly see the hurt on her face.

  “It’s not what you think,” I immediately answer, stroking her hair as I try to reassure her. “It’s just going to be chaotic up there this week with the builders and everything. Plus you have Megan here. I thought you might want to spend some quality time with her before she goes home.”

  “Oh. I guess,” she says in a disappointed tone as she rests the side of her face against my chest again. “I suppose I need to start looking for a job anyway. Are we still going to see each other on the weekends?” Fuck. Is she crazy? I knew she’d take it the wrong way.

  “Indi.” Placing my finger under her chin, I lift her face. “If you let me finish, I was going to say, once the renovations are complete I was wondering if you’d consider moving up to Newcastle permanently.”

  “Really?” she squeals as her beautiful green eyes widen in surprise.

  “Yes. Really. I’m sure you can find work up there. If not, you can always come and work for me.”

  “In the tattoo parlour?” she asks giggling. “That’s sweet, but I love working with animals. I’d really like to get into something like that again.”

  “I was thinking more like hiring you as my sex slave,” I joke. She slaps my chest, narrowing her eyes at me.

  “Ha ha. Although it does sound like a job I’d enjoy,” she laughs. Of course she would, she’s an insatiable vixen. My insatiable vixen. “Jokes aside, are you sure you’re ready for a commitment like that?” I don’t even need to think about it. Of course I am. She’s it for me. I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it now.

  “Couldn’t be surer.”

  “Well then I’d love to,” she says beaming. I know my face mirrors hers. She has just made me the happiest man on this earth. There was a part of me that worried she’d say no, that’s why I’ve been putting it off. I brought it up with Ross yesterday. I wanted to make sure he was alright with it before I asked her. He said he was going to miss her like crazy, but seemed happy that our relationship was heading to the next level.

  ••••

  My week has been fucking crazy. Not only do I have my normal job during t
he day, but I’ve been working late into the night on the renovations as well. My apartment is a chaotic mess, but it’s finally all coming together. The builders have been working their arses off to try and get it finished for me.

  As busy as I’ve been, I’m missing Indiana like crazy. The nights when I finally fall into bed are the worst. Even though I’m fucking exhausted, I find it hard to fall asleep without her beside me. Thankfully, she’s missing me too. That’s why I’ve been busting my arse to get everything completed. The sooner it’s done, the sooner I can bring her home.

  Tomorrow, mum’s coming up for the day. She’s bringing my grandmother with her. I’m looking forward to seeing her again. They’re going to help with all the girly shit like the finishing touches and decorating.

  Late Friday afternoon, Jax arrives. He’s going to stay for the weekend. Instead of our usual card night we’re going to be painting. We head down to the pub for dinner and a quick beer before we get started.

  While he’s filling the paint trays for us to use with the rollers, I give Indiana a quick call. “Hey, babe,” I say when she picks up.

  “Hey. How’re the renovations going?”

  “Getting there. I’ve been busting my arse to get it finished. I need you up here. I fucking miss you,” I tell her. I hear Jax chuckle at my comment so I flip him off.

  “I miss you too. So much.” Her reply has me smiling.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask. I know I shouldn’t keep asking, but it’s all still so fresh in my mind. Even with the good news she got from the doctor, it’s hard not to worry.

  “Great. I haven’t stopped eating all day. I’ve certainly been making up for all the food I couldn’t stomach during treatment.” That pleases me to no end.

  “I’m glad, babe. You need to rebuild your strength. How’s the packing going?”

  “I’m nearly done. You might need to bring a trailer down when you come and get me,” she says laughing. Fuck.

  “How much stuff are you bringing?”

  “Oh the trailer’s not for my stuff, it’s for me. If I keep eating like this, I’m not gonna be able to fit in your car.” I chuckle. Hardly. She’s so cute.

  “Well you could do with gaining a few kilos. Anything more, I’ll be sure to work it off you in the bedroom when you get up here,” I tell her.

  “Oh, I like the sound of that.” So do I. Just thinking about it makes my cock twitch. We talk for a few more minutes before Jax clears his throat. He has everything set up, and he’s waiting for me so we can start.

  “I’ve gotta get going, babe. I’ll try to call back before you go to bed.”

  “Okay. Love you,” she says making me smile again. I look over at Jax. He’s standing there listening to my every word. I know he’s going to rib me for this.

  “Love you too.” I flip him off again when he smirks. Fucker.

  ••••

  We were up until 2:00am painting, but we got most of it done. I feel like I’ve been dragging my arse all day at work. I’m exhausted. Jax has the job of driving my mum and grandma around town so they can get everything they need to decorate the apartment. I want it to be perfect for when Indi comes home.

  I head upstairs around lunchtime. My grandmother has made a huge plate of sandwiches for us. It’s great having her here, and in my life. Even my mum seems different. I can see it in her eyes. She’s finally at peace.

  I took them both for a tour of my shop when they arrived this morning. They both told me how proud they are of me, and all my accomplishments. It was nice to hear.

  Before they left for their shopping spree, my grandmother pulled me aside. “I have something I’d like to give you,” she said, taking an envelope out of her purse and holding it out to me.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Open it.” I was shocked when I did. There was a cheque for five hundred thousand dollars inside.

  “I can’t accept this,” I told her, placing it back inside the envelope and passing it to her.

  “You can, and you will,” she replied pushing my hand away. “Think of it as twenty-four years of missed birthday and Christmas gifts.” It was a sweet offer, but I couldn’t accept it.

  “I appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I couldn’t take this from you. It’s too much.”

  “Yes you can,” she said folding her frail hand around mine. “When I pass, everything I own will be left to you and your mother. Consider it an early inheritance. Please let me do this for you, Carter. You can invest it, or use it to expand your business. The money is just sitting there. I’d rather see it go to good use. I can afford this. I always knew we were pretty well-off, but my husband handled all the finances when he was alive, so I had no idea how much money we had. As it turns out, I’m worth millions,” she whispered, winking at me. It made me smile. “Please.” The pleading look in her eyes almost had me saying yes.

  “I don’t know if I can,” I admitted.

  “Please say you’ll accept it. It will make an old lady very happy.” I chuckled at her words. She drives a hard bargain.

  “Okay. Thank you,” I eventually said wrapping my arms around her. I didn’t know what else to say. I was lost for words.

  “You’re welcome. It makes me happy to know I’m in a position to help you. I’m sure life wasn’t easy for you growing up. I only wish I could’ve been there for you back then.” She pulled back and ran her hand down the side of my face.

  “I wish that too,” I replied smiling. Because I do.

  “I’ll be checking with my bank to make sure you’ve cashed it by the way.” She shook her finger at me when she said that part. We both laughed before I took her in my arms again.

  It’s taken twenty-four years for everything to come full circle, but looking back now, it was worth the wait. I couldn’t be happier with the direction my life has taken.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Indiana

  Meg has spent the whole week at my house, only going home to her parents’ at night to sleep. I’m worried about her. The last few days she seems withdrawn. I’ve asked her if she’s okay, but she keeps telling me she’s fine. She’s not fine, and I intend to get to the bottom of it when she comes over this morning.

  I have all my things packed up for the move. I only have the last-minute things to do tomorrow morning. Carter is coming down, so I’ll have his car. Dad is driving mine and Elizabeth is going to follow us in hers, so it should only take one trip. I didn’t think I’d have so many boxes, but I do.

  As much as I’m looking forward to moving in with Carter, I’m gonna miss my dad. He’s taken the next few days off work so we can spend some quality time together. I know I’ll only be two hours away, but I’m going to worry about him being here on his own. Sure he has Elizabeth living next door, but it’s not the same. It’s the only thing I’m struggling with. The only dampener on my big move.

  I’m taping up yet another box containing more of my shoes when Meg arrives. Instantly I can tell she’s been crying. She looks like shit. “Hey,” I say standing and going to her. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing,” she replies, forcing out a fake smile. Nothing my arse. Grabbing her arm and leading her over towards my bed, we sit.

  “Spill.” Instead of telling me what’s going on, she places her hands over her face and starts sobbing. “Hey,” I say softly, wrapping her in my arms. “Talk to me.”

  “I’m okay,” she eventually replies, pulling away and wiping her eyes. Lying bitch. I raise my hand and pinch her arm. “Ouch,” she whines, a small smile tugging at her lips.

  “You’ve got three seconds to tell me what the hell is going on.” It hurts me to see her like this. She’s usually so happy-go-lucky. I raise my hand, ready to pinch her again. “One.” God, I’m counting. I sound like friggin’ Carter. “Two.”

  “I’m just sad, that’s all,” she answers, pushing my hand down.

  “No shit. Why?” I ask, grasping my fingers around hers. “Are you homesick?”

&n
bsp; “Huh,” she scoffs. “What home? I’ve had over fifteen in the past two years.” I squeeze her hand. I know moving around has been hard for her.

  “Do you miss Drew?”

  “Of course I miss him,” she says, tears rising to her eyes again.

  “Well go to him. As much as I’ve loved having you home, you belong with your husband.”

  “I told him last night I’m not coming back,” she admits as the tears stream down her face. Far out.

  “What? Why?” I ask concerned and extremely shocked. I had no idea she was feeling like this. I wrap her in my arms.

  “As much as I love him, Indi, I can’t live like that anymore. Coming home to Australia has made me see just how unhappy I am living over there. Every time we get settled, we up and move again. I can’t even leave the damn house without a friggin’ interpreter, because most of the countries we’ve lived in don’t speak English. I’m lonely. He’s gone most of the time. I just can’t do it anymore.” My embrace on her tightens when she starts to sob again. I’ve never seen her this upset before.

  “Have you thought about starting a family? Maybe that will help fill in some of your time. Maybe then you won’t feel so lonely.”

  “Drew said the same thing, but it wouldn’t be fair to bring a child into the world when we don’t even have a stable home.”

  “Oh, Meg,” I say, sadness lining my voice. “Are you really prepared to throw away everything you have with Drew?”

  “I can’t go back, Indi. I just can’t.”

  “What did Drew say? Can he find another job?” I ask. I understand how she feels, but I can’t help feeling that she’s making a huge mistake.

  “He was devastated. But he loves his job, I’d never ask him to leave it for me.” I continue to hold her why she cries. I don’t know what else I can do. Running may not be the answer, but I need to support her on this. I’m sure it wasn’t an easy decision for her to make. I pray that they can come to some agreement. They’re perfect for each other.

 

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