Redemption

by Brent, Amy

  I chuckled. “Jacob, her name’s Lind-sey.” I tried to speak it out for him, and Jacob repeated her name, but still, the best he came up with was Lin-see. It was a good start, mainly because he led her into the living room.

  Lindsey sat on the couch while I stepped back into the kitchen and readied the meal to be placed on the table. I watched Lindsey while she began playing with Jacob, and he warmed to her.

  I expected her to freak again. So far, so good.

  I held off asking Lindsey to help set the table. This was my night of trying to impress, and I wanted to show I could do everything. An uncomfortable silence fell between us because I wasn’t sure how to break the ice for a regular conversation. Lindsey looked at me, and for a therapist, it appeared she was tongue-tied as much as I was. She smiled and carried on looking at all the toys Jacob pulled from his basket to show her. He held his soldier up for her to see.

  “THIS IS DADA!” he yelled, making the sound of a gun firing.

  She smiled. “Dada’s big and strong, isn’t he?” Lindsey asked. Jacob nodded. He turned his head when I called from the kitchen.

  “Dinner time!” Jacob screamed out before he threw all his toys back into his large, red, plastic box. It was marked Toys. The soldier he carried to the table with him.

  Luckily, the conversation flowed better, especially now that there was food on the table. Jacob played a big part in being an ice-breaker, and he asked Lindsey to cut his chicken for him. Child cutlery didn’t have the same sharp edge to slice through chicken with the ease that normal cutlery could.

  “Thanks, Lin-see.” Jacob spooned the small bits of chicken into his mouth while rice fell from the side of his plate and onto the table.

  “Here, let me help you,” Lindsey said.

  Now that’s a different Lindsey to the other day. Wow.

  I watched, and Lindsey helped Jacob spoon his rice into his mouth. She ate between his mouthfuls and occasionally looked in my direction. I thought how rare it was for me to be eating at home with a woman, and one who happened to be feeding my child.

  “So, how’s the therapy going?” I asked.

  She laughed. “Yours or mine?”

  I was thinking in a general way because the two had now melded together as one, in my eyes. “Both, how’re the gals doing?” I chuckled and wiped the corner of my mouth with the end of my finger.

  “It’s going well for most of them. A couple of your guys have seen me at my camp, and you can see how the girls are doing at yours. They love the self-defense. Feedback from them is that you know your shit.”

  Jacob groaned. “Dada, bad word.” He jumped from his chair and ran to the side cupboard. He walked back with a plastic pig wrapped in his arms. “Pay the pig. Bad words are ten cents.”

  Lindsey covered her mouth and mock-zipped it. She reached into her pocket and managed to find a coin, and then she gave it to Jacob who dropped it in the slot of the pig’s back. Jacob shook the pig close to his ear. He smiled because it sounded almost full. Lindsey smiled as if to say that I used a lot of bad words. That wasn’t the case; I just dropped spare change into the pig when Jacob wasn’t looking.

  Dinner finished, and Jacob led Lindsey back to the couch. He told her to sit while I washed the dishes. Jacob pulled himself onto the couch and chatted with Lindsey. She draped her arm over his shoulder while he fumbled with the TV remote. He looked up at her and grinned. His soldier sat at his side like a small friend would do.

  “Movie time. You like movies, Lin-see?”

  Lindsey beamed and explained she loved movies. Funny ones were her favorite. Jacob handed her the remote and told her to choose. It needed to be animated because they were really funny. Lindsey flicked to the kid's channel and picked a movie about bugs. It was an old one, but Jacob liked it. I stood with my hands in warm water and soap suds up to my elbows. I was okay with cooking but—

  I freaking hated washing dishes.

  I stood and watched as Lindsey and Jacob giggled while they watched the movie. The glare from the TV made their eyes twinkle in the dim light. I put the last dish away and grabbed two empty glasses for when Jacob would be in bed. In thirty minutes, it’d just be the two of us.

  Please, no more awkward silences.

  “Well Jacob, you know what time it is,” I said.

  Jacob moaned and asked if he could stay up a bit longer. I reminded him tomorrow was Friday, and then he could stay up later. He still had one day left of kindy for the week and then it was the weekend all over again. I threw Jacob into my arms as Lindsey continued watching the movie after she hugged him goodnight.

  I carried him up the stairs, and he began to mutter into my ear. “Lin-see’s fun, Dada.”

  “It seems she likes you,” I replied as I pushed open his bedroom door.

  “Is she coming a lot?”

  Jacob, you really know how to put me on the spot.

  “I don’t know yet, bud. We’ll have to see.”

  Jacob climbed under his bedsheet and rested his head on his pillow. He looked into my eyes and mumbled with sincerity. “I hope so. My bad word pig will be full real fast.” I refrained from laughing and tucked him in before flicking the switch on his night light. I turned as I reached the door and he’d already fallen asleep and was now hugging his toy soldier.

  Lindsey craned her neck and peered over the back of the couch when I stepped from the bottom of the stairs. I picked up the bottle of wine and two glasses from the counter, and I headed toward the couch.

  “He’s a great kid and pretty damned smart,” she said.

  “I’m not sure where he got that from,” I replied, offering Lindsey her glass. “So, how do you feel about the situation now you’ve spent some time with him?”

  She looked at me and took a gulp of her wine. “You know, it wasn’t entirely because of Jacob that I freaked last time. It was your mom. I know she doesn’t like me.”

  I laughed out loud. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said. “Mom thinks you’re the best thing since sliced bread. She adores you.”

  “Don’t say things to make me feel better. I deserve better than that.”

  “It’s the honest truth. She likes you more than my—” I stopped myself short. “Jacob’s mom,” I finished.

  “It must be hard for Jacob. He’s a great kid, but having his mom walk out and leave you with no explanation, he must’ve been so confused.”

  I explained to Lindsey that was half my worry of her coming to dinner. There hadn’t been another woman in his life, apart from his nana.

  “What sort of woman could do that to Jacob, or to any kid?” Lindsey asked.

  We’d both already discussed the topic, and now, after seeing Jacob, it was really hitting home to her. But why she thought my mom didn’t like her, I really had no clue about that. Um, unless—oh shit, that’s right, she’d been whispering in the kitchen. Maybe that was the problem.

  The cushion on the couch sagged when I edged my way closer to Lindsey, and my arm rested on the rear of the couch. I skewed my body and faced her.

  I’m no therapist, but I know I’m sending out the right signals.

  My arm brushed against the bare skin of Lindsey’s shoulder. I watched her sigh and nibble on her bottom lip while her gaze was fixed on the TV. Shudders flooded through my body, and I felt it. Just how I always felt when I touched her. Lindsey finished her wine and thanked me for a great dinner.

  “I should be going.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  I leaned forward. Our lips locked together, and I caressed the soft skin of Lindsey's cheek. I felt her suck in her breath while her body pushed closer toward me. Her breasts pushed against my chest, and I ran my fingers down her shoulder. I could feel the heat of passion rising between us, right until Lindsey pushed her hands flat against my chest.

  “I need to. It’s nothing you’ve done, and there’s nothing wrong. It’s Jacob,” she replied. “It feels weird, you know. Me knowing he’s in the house.”

  I
pulled my arm from around her shoulder and leaned back a little. I stared into her eyes, and I wanted her to stay. God knows I did, but I understood where she was coming from. It was still a shock for me after all this time too. And feeling awkward was one hurdle we needed to be able to clear out, with no real issues.

  “I understand what you mean, and it’s fine.” I gave her a smile, and my dick was immediately displeased with me.

  We stood, and I walked Lindsey to the door. I helped her slip into her coat and waited for her to button it up.

  “Thanks for coming. It was gratifying watching Jacob and you getting on so well,” I commented.

  Her smile was genuine, and her eyes sparkled perfectly. “I enjoyed it myself. He’s fun to be with.”

  “He asked if you were coming again,” I replied.

  Lindsey stepped onto the pathway. She turned and leaned forward, and then she pecked me on the cheek. It wasn’t the passionate kiss I’d hoped for. “We’ll see. I enjoyed myself. Goodnight.”

  “Night.”

  Lindsey

  The night had been good. I'd truly enjoyed spending time with Jacob. He was cuter than ever, and every time I looked at him I saw Ben. Yes, the eyes, the hair, the well-shaped nose. He was the cutest boy, and I got along fabulously-well with him.

  The standouts for me were how he got so enthralled with the movie, sometimes acting like a character he'd seen. And then eating his dinner, all kids looked gorgeous when they ate. Their taste buds were connected to their face, somehow. You could tell exactly what they were thinking.

  After high school, I'd thought about being a mom, but I'd seen Sally-Anne Winters get pregnant early. She'd had to leave behind everything she loved. School, fun, study, going out—and Charlie Sawyer pissed off and left her for Barbara “Barbie” Sanders. I guess it left a weird taste in my mouth. Sally-Anne’s parents had supported her, and I watched her grow bitter about the fact that her life was over, especially now that she had the huge responsibility of a baby. She named her Darla, and she loved her with her whole heart, despite the fact that she was mad about the whole scenario she was placed in. Her parents who were semi-retired helped her out financially and looked after Darla so that Sally-Anne could get a certificate in business. She ended up becoming a receptionist for an accounting place. Sometimes I see her at the store. She ended up marrying Ross Bosco, a guy with the meanest face I ever saw. But he wasn't mean at all; in fact, he treated both Sally-Anne and Darla with love and respect. It ended up being a beautiful love story.

  Going home was harder than I’d expected because I’d craved to be with him. I should've stayed over. It was fine with Ben, and we could've been quiet in his bedroom. I still had a strange feeling in my core, though. I hadn't thought my feelings would make me get so iffy and weird about everything. I think it was because I didn't want to let Jacob get hurt any more than he already had been by his stupid mother. It was something I still found hard to bear, especially after speaking with Sasha on the hike the other day.

  My mind moved back to how delicious Ben had looked over dinner. I hadn't had a chance to enjoy his body on mine. He'd smelt like a mix of mint and cologne, a gorgeous scent that had captivated me the whole time I was there. I felt like I craved it now, as my mind mentally stripped his clothes from his perfect masculine body. All I'd wanted to do was let him take me to his bedroom; right after Jacob had gone to bed. It was something I'd anticipated for us, but then I chickened out.

  My shoes kicked off, and I undid my jeans and put the heater on as I ran a nice warm bath. I lit the candles on the small shelf above it, and I added lavender and some Epsom salts to soak in. I prepared my warm flannelette pajamas and got myself a nice warm cup of cocoa. I was going to close my eyes and think of him.

  I dipped a toe into the perfect warmth of the tub, and the rest of my body followed, easily. It was something I really wanted to do, enjoy a warm soaking before bed. I was lucky to have a deep one that covered my whole body up to my neck.

  “Mmmm,” I said, feeling my muscles relax more fully. I could still smell him in my mind.

  I dressed him in the same silk shirt he’d worn during dinner, a navy blue one, with blue jeans. I let my nostrils take in the scent I remembered—a gorgeous smell which accentuated his own natural scent. I loved his manly scent, something I found intoxicating and extremely addictive. I'd loved it six years ago, and I loved it even more now.

  I felt my body erupt with sensations I couldn't control. My pussy needed him, and I let my hand go down and greet its wantonness. My mind saw him lying next to me on his bed. The beautiful feeling between us was caught well by my vivid imagination. I laid on the covers in pink lace panties and no bra. He lay next to me resting on his elbow. He traced a line up my side with his finger and gently leaned down to kiss the peak of my breast. My nipples were hard, and he caressed the right one with his tongue, licking it with an appetite I craved.

  In the bath, I found my finger on my clitoris as I imagined his body touching mine. I gently stroked myself, now wanting the imagery and the pleasure to last. In my mind, his touch gave me goose bumps, and his warm fingers pushed my panties aside and entered into me as I gasped from the sensation.

  “I want you,” he said, looking into my bright eyes.

  “I want you too,” I answered, unable to say more as his fingers curled up and stroked inside me.

  The smell of his cologne wafted to me, and he placed his mouth down to my pussy, pulling my panties down and watching his fingers pleasure me as I moved from the bliss of it. Now his lips touched my clitoris. I'd never wanted anything so badly. He smiled before he made haste and licked with a lustful tongue that made my body react and move upward to him.

  I found my own two fingers slipping into my vagina. I was so horny as I imagined him fingering and licking my pussy. His eyes were wide and had a fire in them that made it seem so much more real.

  “Fuck, you’re so tight,” he said, looking at me gasping under his touch. “I'm going to make you come, and then I'm going to fuck you!”

  His words were dirty and raw. I felt like the sexiest woman alive as he drove his head down again, deep into my pleasure center. I craved him to be inside of me, and as I fingered myself, I imagined it was his fingers getting me so turned on.

  I could barely hear the splashing of the bathwater as I fingered myself slowly, purposefully. I wanted to make the masturbation last for as long as I possibly could. I was deliciously in need of an orgasm.

  I let my fingers slide in and out of myself, slowly and steadily. I also watched as Ben pleasured me in my mind, matching my actual movements. It felt so good to satisfy myself in that way.

  “I have to fuck you,” he said, lifting himself up and making my body feel wild. “I can't wait.”

  I nodded a yes and watched him undress right there in front of me. It was like a real, live, strip show that made my body feel hungry for him. He unbuttoned his shirt exposing his gorgeous muscular chest. He peeled the shirt off, and I felt my pussy tighten, anticipating his dick inside of me. It would happen soon, as soon as he stripped.

  His jeans came down and his boxers flew off. The hard erection bounced out, and then he laid on me, kissing my neck as he slid himself in, making me moan out loud at the sheer size of him.

  My bath grew lukewarm as I rubbed frantically at my clitoris. I needed to come, and in my mind, it was going to be easy. I imagined him fucking me hard and deep, taking my body to its waiting crescendo as I felt his cock open me.

  “Fuck, you’re driving me crazy,” he said, moaning the words into my ear.

  He raced into me, steering his cock to the hilt as he breathed his warm breath into my neckline. He was sexier than I could have ever imagined; the sweat of our bodies became mixed together as if we were one being. I needed him to come in me, and I knew he was close in my mind's eye.

  I touched my breast and grappled with my nipple as my other hand rubbed my clitoris vigorously underneath the water. I was so close, so I decided I'd let
us come together—the imaginary Ben and the real me.

  His body rocked into me, and he sped up as he felt me getting closer. As usual, my satisfaction was something he always catered to, first and foremost. He pulled himself up on his knees and lifted my legs high into the air, making my pussy tighter. Now I wrapped around his perfect cock, and his face said it all as he fucked me with passion. It was lust, pure and simple, and I had no control over the sensations that came over my body.

  I came in a moan as the imaginary Ben pummeled into me with an intensity that was only available in my mind. My hand touched my clitoris like crazy, and my other one pinched my nipple.

  “Oh, shit,” I said as I came in a wild rush. My pussy clenched and contracted as I came, knowing I was fully satisfied. Ben came in me too, groaning like a wild boar.

  I felt good and satisfied as my breath slowed from its racing. I’d hardly ever felt the need to masturbate in the past, and if I had, it was always with the picture-perfect Ben in my mind. He was the perfect guy, and even if he never believed me on the whole cheating scenario issue, I don’t think I cared. I’d never been able to be with anyone else, not in my mind and not in my bed. That was the reality of it all.

  I guessed I could end up a spinster with ten thousand cats, and wiry hair that looked like it had never been brushed—but that would suck. Being loved like Ben loved me was something I wanted. I needed it. I deserved a man like him. You know; someone strong and sensual, and someone who wanted to be inside of me, like I was the drug that they craved in totality. And Ben did crave me. I loved that about him. When he wanted to be inside me, he ravaged my body, taking it to its heights and making it feel raw and real, and most of all, wanted.

  I felt hungry for food. A quick bowl of cereal before bed would be good for me. I made my way to the kitchen after I dressed. What a beautiful night it had been. Although, next time I think I’d want to stay overnight. It would be way better having the real Ben take me to my orgasm.

  Hot damn, I feel good.

  I really do have a wonderful, cheeky, naughty, helpful, saucy, yummy imagination. Next time I don’t want to imagine it, though. I want the real thing. “Show me the money!”