Redemption

by Brent, Amy

  I laughed at my words. My mom had always loved the movie Jerry McGuire. I had watched it with her many times. The scenario was similar to the one Ben and I were in, except the woman had the little boy!

  Oh wow, that’s uncanny.

  Gosh, the universe does work in mysterious ways, or is that God? Either way, the whole thing is kinda freaking me out—but in a good way.

  Ben

  I mulled over the night before while I showered and was happy with how it went, but it could’ve ended a bit better, I surmised. Lindsey was polite and put her point through on why she’d needed to leave, and it seemed reasonable for her not to stay while Jacob was at home. But deep in the back of my mind, something ate away at me, and I was sure it wasn’t the only reason she’d decided to leave.

  Sparks were about to fly on the couch, and I sensed she was feeling as horny as I was. But then she switched quicker than you could say lickety-split.

  Is she ever going to tell me what it is?

  I dressed, and as I walked toward Jacob’s room, it hit me. I’d never given her much chance to say her piece. Either we were at the camp or Jacob was around, so how could Lindsey say what she wanted without watching over her shoulder or feeling out of place?

  I thought it was supposed to be easy for therapists?

  “Are you ready little man?” I called, now pushing the door open. Jacob was on his hands and knees pulling his SpongeBob backpack out from underneath his bed. He looked up at me and smiled.

  “Almost,” he replied.

  He started to shove the soldier into his backpack, but the arms and legs splayed like a spider and didn’t want to go into the bag. I sat on the edge of his bed and folded the arms of the soldier before handing it back to him.

  “Thanks, Dada,” he said, pushing a few other toys in. It saved so much time and hassle having clothes at Mom’s for Jacob, rather than packing and unpacking them every time he stayed. “Ready.” I picked up his bag and pulled Jacob up into my other arm. His hands were clasped around my neck while he hugged me.

  “You’re getting strong,” I said at the top of the stairs. Jacob groaned and held his arms as if to show me his biceps. He said he’d be big and strong like his dada. We made our way to the front door as I talked to Jacob, man to man.

  “So, what did you think of Lindsey?” I asked. I opened the rear door of the Jeep and placed Jacob in his car seat. He raised his arms as I clipped the buckle.

  “Is she coming to play again?” he asked.

  “Ah! You like her?”

  Jacob nodded and plopped his hands onto his lap. He smiled and began moving his head up and down. “Lin-see was fun, and she’s very beautiful.”

  Jacob still didn’t have the hang of saying Lindsey. It was cute, actually. I climbed into the driver’s seat and adjusted the rearview mirror, so I could keep an eye on Jacob. His head turned sideways as he looked out of the window, and his hands bobbed up and down. He was in his own little world. He mumbled and contented himself as I made the short drive over to my mom’s house. Before I tore my eyes away from the rearview, I noticed the huge grin that covered my face.

  I was more-than-happy Jacob took to Lindsey so well, and she appeared to enjoy his company too. She did say he was a cute kid, which might have been a charade, but actions spoke louder than words. When they’d watched the movie together, I’d noticed a real connection between the two of them.

  I pulled up the driveway to my mom’s place, and her head appeared between the curtains. She vanished as the Jeep ground to a halt, and she stood in the doorway.

  “Bright and early I see.”

  “No rest for the wicked,” I replied as I pulled Jacob from his seat and placed him down gently on the driveway. He waddled up to Mom and held his arms wide for her to pick him up.

  “You can walk from here. You know where to go,” she said. Jacob tutted and put his hand on the doorframe as he lifted his foot over the step. He disappeared inside as I followed Mom down the short hallway into the living room. Jacob’s coat was already on the floor, and he pulled at the zipper on his backpack. The soldier’s head poked through as he yanked him free. He turned to Mom as he clambered up onto the armchair and bounced the soldier on his lap.

  “We had chicken and rice last night,” he said.

  “You ate your favorite dinner, and Dada cooked?”

  I stood and said I’d see Jacob in the morning; I made it halfway to the door.

  Jacob giggled. “Dada had Lin-see come and play, and then we had dinner.”

  Mom coughed, and I turned to face her with a tight grin on my lips.

  “You had Lindsey over?” she asked. She stood and walked me through the doorway. Mom showed a larger grin than me. “So, what’s going on between you two? You seem to be getting tight again.”

  “It was only dinner. What’s wrong with that?” I asked.

  Mom said there was nothing wrong with it at all, and she went further and said how she’d always liked Lindsey from the early days when we’d dated. I knew it, and Mom knew that I knew it. Mom being Mom kept on at me and gave me a half-lecture on dating an ex. She made a point of saying I should’ve talked to Lindsey about what went on six years ago.

  “That’s your biggest mistake with Lindsey. You should’ve talked to her.”

  I know, but when do I have the god-damned chance? You want me to set up a therapy session just to get her alone?

  Hmm—that might be a solution. She couldn’t avoid the issue, and there’d be no one around to listen.

  Your camp or mine?

  I giggled as I stepped on the slab by the front door. “Nothing’s going on at the moment. It was only dinner, one dinner, so don’t read too much into it, okay?”

  “Ben, I’ve known you all your life, and I’ve known Lindsey for a good few years as well. I think something’s going to happen.”

  “You mean fate and all that?” I huffed as I pulled open the door of the Jeep.

  “Don’t mock the power of fate.”

  I smiled and reversed from the driveway and waved. Mom could’ve lectured me all morning, but I needed to get to camp. It was the end of a course for some of the clients, and it was going to be a grueling day for most of them. I noticed it was getting warmer and the sun would be beating down while they were doing their exercises.

  When I got to camp, Paul stood with his wrist held out in front of him. His finger tapped his watch as I stepped from my vehicle. I said I was only dropping Jacob off. He raised his eyebrow as if not to believe a word of it. We headed to the canopy and waited for the clients to begin arriving.

  Thirty minutes later, the canopy was full of clients, and for half of them, it was their last day. They were going to be put through their paces. A two-mile run, followed by two laps of the assault course before lunch. A morning of full-on exercise, and then unarmed combat competitions later, to see if they’d mastered what they’d learned.

  Paul explained the events of the day, and the clients hitched their loaded backpacks onto their backs. He asked if they all had plenty of water as the sun was going to burn like fire in an hour or so.

  I stood and watched as they headed out up the hill toward the trees. They’d be gone for a while, so I ran through the morning session with the girls from Lindsey’s camp. It was lighter for them, showing what to do if they were attacked from behind. It was a highly beneficial lesson.

  “If all else fails, you give the guy a swift kick in the balls and then run like hell,” I said, halfway through my speech. “Honestly, it’s rare you’d have the opportunity, so it’s better to remember what I’m going to show you.”

  Time seemed to pass quickly, and then I heard Paul yelling by the assault course. I headed over and saw the clients struggling to make their way around it. “I think the heat has taken it out of them,” Paul said.

  “You’d better get them to have an early lunch. They’ll be suffering from dehydration.”

  “Come on you guys, wrap it up. It’s lunchtime.” Paul grabbed the iro
n bar and rattled it around the large triangle. The sea of gratified faces stared from the assault course. We sat and ate lunch as I told Paul to take it easy with the combat sessions.

  “You think it’s too much for them?” he asked.

  I shook my head. “Nah! But I don’t want them puking on the crash mats.”

  Lunch finished, and Paul reviewed the afternoon’s events. It was a sort of competition on the last day, but there was to be no rough stuff. And gloves and helmets were to be worn at all times. The winner for best student received an award.

  A large circle formed around the edge of the training canopy. The first two pulled on helmets and gloves, and they both slipped in their gum shields. The last thing I wanted was a client to end up with missing teeth.

  The fights went on, and the winners gathered on one side. I noticed the next recruit, Travis, looked flustered. His face was reddened, and I thought it might be that the sun had caught him.

  How wrong I was.

  If the screaming and yelling weren’t enough when Travis spat out his gum shield, the punches he threw toward his opponent were.

  “Travis, that’s enough,” I yelled. Paul and I darted across the mat to drag him off. He turned and yanked his helmet and pulled at his gloves.

  “We gotta kill them! They’re coming! There’s too fucking many of them.” He dropped his gloves and ran from underneath the canopy.

  Paul stood next to me as we watched Travis bolting down the track toward the main road. What a way to end the week. If anyone was going to freak, it was likely to be one who suffered from PTSD. I was at a loss, apart from searching for him. Travis had spoken to Lindsey a couple of times, so hopefully, her words would still be in his head.

  I rang her. “Lindsey, it’s me. We need your help, urgently.”

  I was happy to hear her voice, but now wasn’t the time for pleasantries. “What’s happened?” she asked. Her voice crackled in a serious tone from the speaker.

  “Travis has gone AWOL. I think he’s flipped, and he’s half-battered another one of the recruits.”

  “Pick me up, and I’ll help you.”

  I arranged to meet her and told Paul to wrap up the classes, it was almost end of the day so there wasn’t much point seeing it through. I passed by the precinct and informed the police we were missing a PTSD sufferer who’d flipped and ran off. They’d do the necessary checks and keep an eye out for him.

  I got to Lindsey’s camp, and she climbed into the vehicle. She buckled up and swiveled her body to face me.

  “Travis, you say?”

  I nodded and explained what happened. Lindsey said he was on medication to prevent this, and either he’d forgotten or hadn’t taken it on purpose because of the camp. She also made a point that I needed to go through the waivers and make sure there was a disclosure for medication.

  The clouds drew in, and the sky darkened. We must’ve driven around town a good four or five times. Back alleys sat in half darkness, and there was no way we could search every single one.

  “It’s getting late,” I said. I headed back toward Lindsey’s camp.

  “Just drop me off at home. Nicole will have locked up hours ago, and I’m beat.”

  I drove toward her apartment and thanked her for her support. I stopped the Jeep.

  “I—”

  “Goodnight Ben,” she said.

  “Night, thanks for your help.”

  Lindsey

  I stared at the ceiling, and once the room started to fill with light, I counted the dots in the paint. Sleep had eluded me for most of the night since Ben had dropped me at home. I was worried about Travis. Out of all the guys, he was the one who suffered the worst. If he’d not taken his meds correctly, then that might’ve been the reason he’d flipped. Ever since he’d been in the Gulf, he’d been swamped with nightmares. He had it really bad, and I felt for him.

  I got dressed and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked terrible. I was tired and unkempt. I bundled my hair into a bun and headed downstairs. I felt exhausted as I entered the kitchen, and the last thing I wanted to do was have a coffee on my own. I looked up at the clock, and it was still nowhere near seven.

  I wonder if Ben’s up.

  I stood toying with my cell while I debated calling him. The last thing I wanted to do was to wake him up after only a few hours of sleep. My thumb went to auto-pilot, and I hit the call button. I held the phone to my ear, and half-expected him not to answer.

  “Morning,” I heard Ben’s voice say.

  “I didn't—” I started to say.

  “I had a rough night, too.”

  He said he’d been awake for a couple of hours. He’d tossed and turned all night trying to think where Travis could’ve run off to. He guessed it wasn’t into the trees, because the town was the direction he’d ran in.

  “I take it you didn’t sleep much either?” he asked.

  “Hardly any, and I was contemplating coffee, but I don’t want to be alone if I’m being honest.”

  Ben suggested that I head over to his place. I accepted and then realized I needed to take a cab, seeing as my car was still at the camp. I slipped on running shoes and pulled on my hoodie and headed out the door. It felt like it was going to be another warm day, and the night chill was no more. The keys jangled in my fingers as I raised my hand for the cab. He pulled up and I slid onto the rear seat with my handbag in tow. I felt more awake by the time I strolled up Ben’s driveway, but I probably didn’t look much better than I had when I saw my reflection that morning.

  I pushed the bell briefly in case I woke Jacob. The door opened, and Ben stood in a pair of jogging bottoms. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair, well, his hair was short so it couldn’t be a mess. His overall appearance showed he looked rough around the edges like I did.

  “Don’t we look a sorry sight,” I said as he ushered me inside. I saw that the mugs were already on the table, and he’d made toast which was still warm because I smelled it straight away when I walked into the dining area.

  “What’s the plan?” I asked.

  Ben explained he’d already checked with the precinct. They hadn’t seen any sign of Travis and wondered if he might’ve skipped town. I commented it wouldn’t be possible. Travis was a bundle of nerves, and there was no way he’d find the confidence to drive in the condition he was in.

  “It must be a case of more manpower then, all those backstreets will need to be checked,” Ben remarked. “He might be lucky. If he slept outside, it wasn’t so cold last night.”

  I smiled the best I could. Travis had spent the past two weeks at Ben’s camp refreshing his survival skills. If he had slept outside, I was sure he’d manage to survive one night on the street.

  I couldn’t help but notice Ben’s broad chest. He sat, half-naked, and his taut skin distracted me for a second or two until my wits came back to me. I shuddered.

  “We should be getting to your camp,” I said. My eyes were fixed on Ben’s tapered body. His broad shoulders angled down to his tightly-corded abs. His jogging bottoms had slipped slightly, and I was sure he wasn’t wearing shorts.

  Don’t turn for God’s sake; I’ll see the outline of your co—

  “Won’t be a minute.” Ben dashed upstairs.

  I picked up another piece of toast and munched through it while I waited. Ben reappeared and ran down the stairs. Now he was wearing underwear and a baggy t-shirt, which still made him look hotter than ever.

  “Where’s Jacob?” I asked

  “He’s at his nana's. I should’ve collected him but decided not to with things the way they are. I’ll make it up to him tomorrow.”

  I stood and stretched with my arms over my head. Ben coughed and swallowed while my chest jutted forward. He shook his head and pulled open the door for me. I reached for the handle of the Jeep at the same time as Ben, then our hands touched, and I sucked in an apprehensive breath. Ben grinned and pulled open the door, and I slid onto the passenger seat. He drove up to his camp, and we spotted all th
e vehicles from the end of the dirt track.

  The dust cleared, and we stepped out to be greeted by Paul and most of Ben’s recruits. A few of my girls were also there, dressed in casual, ex-soldier-searching clothes. Jogging bottoms and sweatshirts were the uniforms of the day. I chatted with Nicole for a couple of minutes and then Ben took over the proceedings.

  “We all know who we’re looking for. Travis. He isn’t going to be in the best frame of mind if we do find him. Yesterday, before he ran off, he was in a state. It’s a good chance he’ll be worse if we find him because he probably hasn’t had his medication.”

  Ben finished his commanding speech and then said we were all to split up. I hadn't thought of it much until Ben boomed that I was with him. He wanted me by his side, and the way he ordered me made my knees tremble. But then I felt my brow with the back of my hand. My face was warm. I must’ve flushed out. Nicole asked if I was okay.

  “Yeah! I’m fine, it was nothing,” I said, without realizing. “You better go with Paul.”

  Butterflies in my stomach and trembling knees on a morning like this? What would Travis think of me?

  I got a grip on myself. Now wasn’t the time to nibble on my lips and suck in panting breaths of desire, and I was lucky guilty feelings were so strong. I had become turned on by Ben’s authoritative tone.

  Sorry, Travis.

  We all split up, and all the vehicles headed to different parts of the town. Ben arranged for each block to be searched before moving onto the next one. I crossed my fingers as I climbed into Ben’s Jeep. I peered at him through the windshield. Excitement still flooded through my veins, so I inhaled and slowly calmed myself.

  Focus—focus—focus. I closed my eyes and exhaled.

  The car rocked when Ben jumped in and slammed the door. He explained where we were headed. It was the far side of town because it was slightly more industrialized if you could call it so. Estes Park wasn’t well known for manufacturing, and the units were mostly storage places for the stores or restaurants. Ben explained it all when we headed off. He said that Travis could’ve warmed himself from the exhaust of a cooling system. That and the chance of finding food scraps from one of the storage units.