by Jenna Jacob
“Well, I hope Destiny doesn’t get her panties in a bunch when Mika tosses another sub your way.”
Ignoring my venomous tone, Sam simply bit back a grin. “She won’t. Even if I were to scene with another sub, Destiny wouldn’t be upset.”
I arched a brow. “Oh really? I sure as hell would.”
“I can see that,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m not in a relationship with her. Nothing even close to the one I am with you.”
You mean the one you were in with me.
“So where is she? Where is the mysterious Destiny?” I snapped impatiently.
I honestly had no desire to lay eyes on the woman, but the insecure and jealous parts of me needed to see what I was up against. Of course, if she was anything like I imagined, I’d only set myself up for a bigger heartbreak.
For all my years of education, there were times when I wasn’t very smart.
Sam glanced down at the bar. “She’s not here yet.” Cupping my cheeks in his strong hands, he stared into my eyes. “Destiny isn’t important. She has nothing to do with my feelings for you, or our relationship. Tuck your jealousy away, sweetheart. She’s not a threat…not in the least.”
Maybe not in your eyes, but she sure as hell is in mine. The bitch is nothing but a rabid dog who needs to keep her filthy paws off my man.
Biting my lips together, I simply grunted and issued a nod. When he released my face, I turned and peered into the dungeon. A few brave souls were migrating toward the crosses, benches, and tables. I watched as several stripped down to their skin. None seemed embarrassed or self-conscious to bare all in front of the growing crowd. Some of the naked ones knelt on the floor. Others stood like mannequins as they were cuffed or tied to various pieces of the polished furniture.
The idea of Destiny offering herself up to Sam—naked—pierced deep. Swallowing tightly, I sucked in a deep breath.
“So, when you scene with Destiny, does she get naked, too?” Bleeding insecurities poured from my lips before I could stop them.
“Using implements on a sub fully dressed kind of defeats the purpose, sweetheart.” Sam slid a knuckle down my cheek, drawing my attention. A hint of sadness clouded his eyes. “What’s it going to take for me to convince you that you’re the only woman I need and want?”
Tears stung my eyes. I ached to believe him, believe the sincerity in his voice and the compassion glistening in his eyes, but too many doubts still swarmed within. With a weak shrug, I turned my focus back to the dungeon.
A man dressed in jeans and a leather vest helped a naked woman onto one of the long, padded tables. After she settled on her back, the man bent over and kissed her while gathering her wrists and drawing them over her head. A tremor rippled through me. Was the same erotic thrill pulsing inside her as it did me when Sam secured my arms in that manner? Did she feel helpless and small while at the same time content and secure, the way Sam always made me feel? I wanted to know what feelings she experienced, but at the same time, I was terrified they would be a carbon copy of my own.
Unable to peel my eyes off the couple, I watched as the man wrapped yards and yards of thin white rope over her body. Longing to be stripped of all social niceties and splayed out, immobile, for Sam burned deep. Instantly, the thought awakened the feminist inside me who began howling in outrage.
“I would love to tie you up like that,” he whispered in my ear.
The radical suffragette within me snorted. “Never going to happen.”
“Yes, it will. One day.” His tone held a surety that made me tremble.
Studying the various scenes playing out before me was like watching a train wreck—gruesome yet so intriguing. I couldn’t look away. Swimming in an ocean of visual overload, I couldn’t compartmentalize the tsunami of unconventional input. These people and the things they did were light-years away from the proper social etiquette pounded into my brain since birth. Some of the scenes icked me out so badly I had to look away. Like the regal blonde woman, dressed in red latex, who snapped an evil-looking whip over the ass of a tall, buff man cuffed to a cross. The angry red welts that rose on his flesh made me cringe.
Still, other sights captivated me. Watching the face of a sub bent over a bench, I sighed inwardly at the look of bliss and her heavy eyelids as her Dom swatted her back and butt with a thick flogger. The woman looked as if she were at total peace. For a split second, I wanted to be that woman…feel such a level of serenity.
The idea of me submitting to such unnatural acts shocked me to the bone. I tensed.
Sam drew his fingers up my arm in a soothing sweep, then leaned in close to my ear. “Relax, baby. I don’t expect you to grasp the dynamics all at once. I know I’ve tossed you into a raging river, but I promise…I won’t let you drown.”
“It certainly feels like I am.”
Sam slid an assessing gaze over my face before inching his mouth to mine. His kiss started out soft and sweet before slowly morphing into one of raw and hungry passion. Desire ebbed and flowed between us on that familiar sizzling current we’d shared from the very beginning, that invisible fiber that melded us as one.
I wanted to believe our combustibility was special…a once-in-a-lifetime kind of thing. But worries that Sam and Destiny shared this indescribable fire all but crushed my heart.
Tearing my lips from his, I jerked my head and sucked in a deep breath.
Visibly affronted by my retreat, Sam frowned. I turned my head. I didn’t want to see his disappointment. Scanning the members once more, I blinked back the tears that stung my eyes. My attention was drawn to a beautiful blonde with long, slender legs and a set of boobs that would make a centerfold model cry. The scantily dressed woman paraded through the dungeon, obviously in search of someone. Pursing her red lips in an unhappy pout, I watched as she sauntered to the bar and inched her perfectly shaped ass onto one of the barstools.
Darting a look at Sam, I saw he was dissecting me with a piercing gaze. My heart thundered in my chest. I whipped my head back to the woman at the bar who sat poised and wearing an air of sophistication like an obscene expensive perfume.
Destiny.
As if I’d been blindsided by a wrecking ball, my whole world suddenly disintegrated.
“Don’t you dare try to compare yourself to her,” Sam chided. “You mean a million times more to me than she could ever hope to.”
Was he insane? Sam’s little pain bitch was perfect in every way. Jealousy exploded through my veins like lava. And while Sam droned on trying to assure me that I had nothing to fear, my insecurities pulled me under like an alligator, suffocating me with a furious death roll.
There was no conceivable way Sam would ever choose me over her. No man would. I was convinced that every straight, red-blooded man in the club fantasized about riding Destiny into the sunset. Seeing the woman brought my worst nightmares to life. Panic rose inside me. I didn’t belong in this club, and I certainly didn’t belong with Sam—not anymore.
The embers of hope I’d been foolishly fanning flickered out. The finality that Sam and I were through turned my heart to stone.
Mentally reaching deep, I dusted off the cloak of indifference I’d used growing up to mask my emotions. Sliding it on once again felt awkward and foreign. Like a fool, I’d thought once I left New York I’d never need the damn thing. I was wrong.
Swallowing back the lump of anguish lodged in my throat, I turned toward Sam. “I—I can’t see you anymore. Please take me to my car.”
Storm clouds rolled across his face. “You’re ending our relationship over a woman I have zero feelings for?”
“It’s not just that,” I replied as I allowed a chilly ice water to flow through my veins. “I can’t do the kinds of things you need. I have no interest whatsoever in being a part of this…lifestyle.”
Sam couldn’t miss the haughty disdain in my voice.
“No, you’re simply grasping for excuses. You’re already are a part of it, Cin. I’ve been dominating you since the first time
we made love.” Pausing, Sam delved deeper with his steel-blue eyes. “You made up your mind we were done before I ever brought you here, didn’t you?”
In an attempt to hide my guilt, I tore my gaze away from him.
“Well, isn’t that fucking perfect? You found me guilty of a crime I never committed without judge or jury. You sentenced me…sentenced our relationship to death row. Tell me, Cin. How the hell can you throw away what we share so goddamn easily, huh?”
“It’s not easy,” I bit out as I leapt to my feet and raced toward the door.
No way could I explain that he’d ripped off the scabs of my past and plunged me into a cesspool of insecurities. If I showed him the broken parts I’d kept hidden for so long, he’d run…run straight into Destiny’s arms and her fucking bed.
Before I could even touch the knob, Sam was off the couch. He stormed up behind me and slapped his palms against the door, thwarting my escape. As I turned to face him, Sam caged me in, fury and pain blazing in his eyes.
Filled with remorse and regret, I cast my gaze to the floor. I couldn’t stand to see the hurt and anguish reflecting in Sam’s eyes.
“Why, Cin?” he whispered, cupping my chin in silence until I peered up at him.
Every cell in my body screamed to take back my words. I didn’t want to say good-bye to this man…turn away the only person on the planet who brought me to life. But I didn’t have the courage to exhume the secrets I kept buried deep, either.
Focus on the obvious. Hopefully it will be enough.
“Look at her, Sam. I can’t compete with someone like Destiny.”
“I already told you there’s no competition,” he whispered tersely.
“Oh, please. Everything about her is perfect. I’m not blind.”
“Maybe on the outside,” he conceded. “But I have nothing in common with her except this club.” Sliding his thumb over my cheek, Sam’s expression softened as he issued a heavy sigh. “I can’t talk to her the way I do you. She has no way of comprehending the life-and-death decisions you and I make every day. She wouldn’t have a clue how to comfort me—not the way you do—when I’ve had a shit-tastic case. She has no clue what it’s like to deliver a brand new life into the world, then an hour later, lose a patient. Destiny is self-absorbed, focused on her career. She’s a shell, and definitely not someone I would ever let inside my heart. But you? You’re so deep inside of me I feel it when you breathe. Not only are you more beautiful than a rainbow, you’re as succulent as a ripe plum. You’re a treasure. You mean everything to me, Cin.”
Tears slipped past my lashes and trickled down my cheeks.
Leaning in, Sam sipped my tears between his lips. While his heart-melting confession echoed in my ears, he bent and claimed me with a fiery kiss that compelled the war between my heart and head to end in a stalemate.
“Christ,” he groaned, shaking his head. “You’re the only woman I’ve ever felt this connection…this powerful chemistry with. I’m not about to let you throw it all away…not without a fight.”
“I don’t want to fight,” I gasped.
“Good, cause neither do I. I’d much rather do this…”
He claimed my lips with a slow thrust of his tongue, retreating only to press deep once more. The surging energy passing between us made me dizzy. As I savored the sinful stroke of his tongue sweeping inside my mouth, sparks of desire ricocheted through my body. And when he pressed his hard erection against my pussy, hunger uncoiled, hot and ready.
When I slid my fingers through his soft-cropped hair, safety and relief settled deep. I wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped in his sublime splendor for all time. All too soon he slowly eased from my lips. I issued a whimper of mourning. Sam raised his heavy eyelids and stared at me with a look so raw it was as if he’d sliced his heart wide open. Met with his unchecked emotions, I not only saw the depth of his desire but also a powerful blinding light of love, pure and true.
My heart soared. Sparks of salvation sputtered up my spine. Without hesitating, I cupped his nape and pulled him in for another kiss. Opening for him, I met each sweltering sweep of his tongue with mine and tumbled in the landslide of perfection.
With a rumbling growl of approval, Sam cinched his fist in my hair. The commanding and seductive way he deepened the kiss sent shivers racing through me. Lost in the slick heat of his mouth, I surrendered my all as he greedily claimed every morsel of my being.
Skimming his hands beneath my shirt, he burnished his thumbs over my bra, igniting a desperate throb beneath the tight peaks. Teasing and taunting the sensitive tissue, I ached to feel his fingers on my bare flesh. Longed for the flick of his tongue. Hungered for the sweet burn of suction as he drew each nipple into his gifted mouth. His steely shaft nudged at my swollen, wet folds. I spread my legs to his incessant sexual call, offering myself wholly.
Sam tore from my mouth with a feral roar. He was panting, and his ragged breath blew across my tingling lips as he lowered his forehead to mine.
“Let’s get out of here,” he said in a raspy, impatient tone.
“Where are we going?”
“Someplace private.”
CHAPTER THREE
After leaving Mika’s office, we traversed the stairs. I was grateful for Sam’s strong arm around my waist—he kept my wobbly legs from folding beneath me. Back in the long hallway once again, Sam stopped at one of the doors and fished a key from his pocket. Sam unlocked the door, then reached inside and turned on the lights as he ushered me through the portal.
Sam’s room reminded me of the studio apartment I rented while in nursing school. Small and efficient, though his décor held a distinctively male flare. A bold oak armoire ate up the wall near the light switch, while a massive four-poster bed with thick balusters, and draped in a fluffy white comforter, sat poised in the center of the room. Staring at the bed, I tried to press away an annoying ripple of jealousy. How many subs had spent time, indulging Sam’s mad skills, in that very bed?
Turning to face him, I masked my unfurling insecurities and watched as he closed and locked the door.
“This is my private suite,” he revealed. Strolling across the room, Sam flipped on the light of a white-tiled bathroom. “Ever since we started seeing each other, I haven’t stepped foot inside these walls, not even for aftercare.”
While his caveat was considerate, the indication that he’d made some kind of sacrifice on my behalf confused me. “Aftercare?”
Tugging at the knot of his tie, Sam slid the fabric from his collar. “It means watching over a sub as they come back down from an endorphin rush.” A lazy smile spread over his lips. “It has nothing to do with sex, so tuck away your jealousy and fears. BDSM 101 is over for the day.”
Thank god.
With seduction written all over his face, Sam slid a heavy-lidded gaze up and down my body, leaving a tingling trail over my skin as if he’d physically touched me. As he began to unbutton his shirt, my mouth went dry. Dryer still when he peeled the material off his shoulders and tossed it to the floor. My stare traced the perfect lines of his chest, down his tapered waist, and farther still to the bulging erection straining beneath his trousers.
Spreading his arms wide, he whispered: “Come here, baby.”
Unable to refuse his command, I hurried into his welcoming arms. Maybe it was wrong, but I couldn’t deny myself the feel of his touch. After all, this could very well be the last time Sam and I ever made love. All my reservations faded when he rasped his tawny whiskers over my cheek. Then trailed featherlight kisses up my neck, over my jaw, until he settled his mouth on mine. With busy hands, Sam tugged at my clothing. He broke the kiss long enough to hoist my shirt and bra over my head before reclaiming me with a searing kiss.
Passion surged. Our tongues dueled, sweeping over each warm, wet crevice. Parting only to nip and tug at the plump flesh of lips before melding together again as one. His coarse chest hairs abraded my nipples, increasing the pulsing demand thrumming through my clit.
> Grudgingly, Sam pulled away, then stared at me. A look of awe lay etched on his face as he focused on my breasts. He reverently cupped them in his hands, and my nipples tightened. Strained to meet the indulgent texture of his warm palms. Dragging the pads of his thumbs over each beaded tip, he smiled as I moaned. And when he extended his tongue, circling my dark areolas, I exhaled a sigh of delight as my pussy copiously wept.
“Such pretty puckered perfection,” he murmured, staring at the glistening saliva he’d left behind.
As he bent and laved his tongue over each rigid tip, the air tore from my lungs on a quivering sigh. Opening his mouth, Sam engulfed one nipple, then the next. His wet heat and gentle suction sent shards of lightning exploding through me. I rocked my pussy against his crotch, anxious for him to put out the inferno building inside me.
In answer to my plea, Sam scraped his teeth over each sensitive crest, then explored each puckered ridge with lips and tongue. The sinful heat of his mouth made my whole body seem to crackle and thunder.
Peppering kisses down to my stomach, Sam hooked his thumbs in my waistband, dragging my pants and underwear off as he knelt before me. Kicking off my shoes, I breathed in the scent of my spicy arousal. The cool air met my sweltering folds and I trembled.
Sam leaned back on his heels, then reached out and petted the inky curls between my legs.
“I’m going to shave you bare here soon. Then I’m going to slide my tongue over your velvety flesh before I sink my teeth into your pretty pouty mound. Mark you with my brand.”
Inching his face in closer, he inhaled deeply, then exhaled, spilling his moist breath over my folds. “The scent of your intoxicating spice makes my cock hard as stone.”
I was unable to form words, and the sounds of helplessness bubbled from the back of my throat. Clutching his head, I tried to force his mouth to my center. Pulling away, Sam tsked, in mock reprimand, before rising to his feet.