She held out her hands, and something inside me clenched at the thought of giving it away so soon. I’d sacrificed for it.
But I’d sacrificed for it so that she could have it. I slid it into her hands, not bothering to tell her where it had been before my hands. I figured if my pure virgin blood was good enough to open it, it wouldn’t give Camila any diseases. Plus, god only knew how many virgins that had been inside before me.
“Thank you,” Camila said, pulling me down beside her. I tossed her dress on the floor and crawled under the blankets, and she put away the amulet and shut out the light. I heard her soft breathing go deeper, and I began to drift off.
She’d lied to me. I would have taken her side over Gabor’s any day, but he had no reason to lie. She’d gone into the room, had seen me acting like a wild animal, practically raping the shaman. There was no reason for her to lie, either, except to let me keep what little dignity I had. I felt my face warming again. It must have been even worse than I imagined if she would lie to me out of pity. I didn’t know how I’d face him in the morning. Maybe I’d sleep in, skip the farewell breakfast, and never have to see him again.
Eleven
Lord Balam
Curandero, Jaguar Nation
I tapped on the door to the adjoining room, pushing it open and stepping into our king’s chambers. Matheus, known to the world as King Jaguar, looked up from the table where he sat with papers spread around him.
“I have given the Ocelot Nation our amulet,” I said.
“Is that so?” Matheus asked, removing his wire-rimmed reading glasses. “I didn’t realize we were ready to take that step.”
I dropped into the empty chair across from him. Matheus was my parents’ age, but he’d been more of a father than mine ever was. Unlike ocelots, jaguar shifters were not all elevated in status, nor did they rule humans. In our nation, shifters lived side by side with humans, but we conducted our own affairs and governed ourselves separately. My parents had been ordinary shifters, working ordinary jobs in the city. Once they’d realized I had the gift of sight, they’d retired from their jobs and become professional social-climbers, maneuvering and manipulating anyone who stood in their way to get me to court.
At last, they’d gotten what they wanted—the attention of King Jaguar. By then, I’d known what I was—a political pawn, a tool used to gain advantages for my parents. To my surprise, King Jaguar had treated me as more than that. Once I’d become an adult, he’d treated me like an equal, despite our age difference and my scheming parents.
“I didn’t realize we were ready to give them the amulet, either,” I said. “Until I fucked the princess.”
“Ah,” Matheus said, rubbing the lenses of his glasses with the edge of his shirt. “That explains all the noise. She’s quite unreserved for a princess, si?”
My cock throbbed inside my pants at the memory of the vice-like tightness gripping my length as she cried out in helpless ecstasy. I wasn’t surprised the king had heard her in the next room.
“Yeah,” I said. “Also, it was the wrong princess.”
Matheus’s eyebrows shot up. “You gave the amulet to a human?”
“I may have gotten carried away,” I admitted.
A frown creased his brow. “That’s unlike you.”
“I’m aware of that.”
“What are you thinking?” he asked, setting his glasses down on the table and studying me.
“I think I should consult the oracle,” I said. “It may have been a rash decision, but that doesn’t mean it was the wrong one.”
“Yes,” Matheus mused. “Please let me know it tells you.”
“I will,” I said, pushing myself up from the chair. Despite my low birth, I was the king’s closest advisor and friend, and he never made me feel like anything less. I was well aware of the honor, and I never took it for granted.
Back in my room, I sat cross-legged in the center of the floor and pulled my cloak around me. Laying the skin along my arms, I closed my eyes and called on my jaguar until he sank from the fur I wore and joined my consciousness. As his skin fused with mine, I held him there, on the cusp of my human brain, and welcomed his wisdom. The balance had to be perfect, a tightrope between my animal knowing and my human understanding.
The symbols on the backs of my hands began to tingle, moving up my arms to my shoulders, neck, and face. The center of my forehead pulsed with heat, and I opened my eyes to see the tattoos evaporating from my skin, swirling into the air before me to form the pictures I must decipher. A man with long black hair and unearthly green eyes crouching over me. A shudder of terror went through me at the sight of my own hand chained to an empty bedframe. A feminine hand, as though I were not myself but a woman. A crystal hung from the man’s necklace, dangling just out of my reach.
My human body buzzed with awareness, waiting to receive more, but nothing came. The glowing particles broke apart and sank like dust over my body. I relaxed into the pain as they returned to me, burning like sparks settling on my skin. After being absorbed, the magic converged into the usual patterns of my tattoos, leaving me to ponder their meanings.
The oracle usually didn’t speak to me from such an intimate perspective. Unless it was showing me something I must do or learn in my jaguar form, I didn’t enter the visions. I saw and interpreted them from outside myself. I wasn’t used to the visceral reaction, the fear still trembling along my limbs even as saw that I was safe and alone in a room in the ocelot palace. No chains held me, and yet, I could feel the cold, unbreakable hold of that manacle still circling my wrist.
I would have to sit and ponder this for some time before I knew its full meaning. For now, the king would be satisfied with a report of what I’d seen. Already, I knew one thing for certain. This human princess I’d fucked was anything but ordinary. Though I hadn’t been in jaguar form during the vision, I had experienced it as a participant, nonetheless. In a much different, much less pleasant way, I had been inside Princess Itzel once again.
Twelve
Itzel
Princess, Ocelot Nation
My maidservant woke me with a sharp bark. I dragged my ass up, biting my lip so I wouldn’t howl in pain. If this was what sex made me feel like in the morning, I was never having it again. So not worth it. And so not fair that I had to feel like this, and the morning after Tadeu got laid, he strutted around like a peacock whistling while he saddled the horses.
Tadeu.
A shock wave of reality hit me, and my stomach churned with horror.
“His Majesty requires your presence at the farewell breakfast,” the maidservant said.
“Not going,” I said, rolling over and burying my head in the pillow.
“It’s not optional,” she said. “He expressly forbade you from not attending.”
“I’ll take my punishment.”
What was he going to do? He’d already done something so monstrous that when it hit me in the light of morning, I had to grab the netting around the bed so I wouldn’t pitch headlong onto the floor. He could have just sent Tadeu to some faraway farm. He could have even refused to tell me where he was, so I could never find him. He didn’t have to—
I couldn’t even think it.
Execute him, my mind supplied helpfully.
Yes, that was the word for what he’d done. Executed for nothing more than daring to think he was worthy of the king’s daughter.
The maidservant began to wrench a brush through my hair while I clung to the delicate mosquito netting, fighting the dueling urges to puke and sob. For once I appreciated her complete disinterest in gossip, my mental and emotional state, and my excuses. The normalcy of it made functioning possible. The world continued to turn, and life went on, impossible as it seemed. Like it was any other day, my maidservant shoved a toothbrush into my mouth and stuffed me into suitable attire, fastening my mother’s necklace around my neck as a final touch.
Maybe she wasn’t completely heartless after all.
She steered
me out the door, though my head was still a million miles away. Going through the motions, doing something normal, was both so bizarre I wanted to laugh and so horrifying I wanted to scream. How could everyone, everything, go on like we hadn’t lost the sunshine that lit the palace from the outside in?
Camila hurried to me, wringing her hands. “Are you really going to the breakfast? What about…you know…him?”
The first person I thought of was Father. How could I see him again? I wanted to crawl back in bed and hide away for the rest of my life. Run away and join a nunnery. Anything to keep from facing the man who had stolen the future I’d planned since I was five years old. But I wouldn’t let him win. I squared my shoulders and forced a smile, swallowing the bile rising in my throat.
“Let’s go.”
Father thought he could break me, that I’d curb my wild ways if he got rid of my best friend, the one person who had loved me for exactly who I was, just as I’d loved him. For years, Father had maneuvered and threatened me, getting me to straighten up by threatening Tadeu. But now he’d lost his trump card. Now, he had nothing.
And I had nothing to lose.
He had taken everything from me, and I hadn’t broken. I would not break. Not for him. Not ever. He didn’t know who he was up against. Of course he didn’t. I was a mere human, after all.
He hadn’t counted on two things, though. I was unbreakable. And I was coming for him.
We turned into another corridor and fell in behind two women and a man from the Jaguar Court. A man with a jaguar skin cloak over his shoulders. My sore thighs trembled with the memory of that tail flicking between them, tickling, tantalizing. Dancing across my skin in the moonlight even after Balam drifted away, like a secret between me and his animal spirit.
I crushed down the thought, forced my legs to carry me like the dignified princess Father wanted me to be. Lord Balam’s head swiveled, and his gaze raked down my body in a way that made me forget every ounce of my dignity. A painful throb grabbed my clit and wrenched all the way to my cervix, as if reminding me exactly how thoroughly he’d plundered my lady business.
Lord Balam melted away from his group, sliding back beside me while Camila took his spot between the two jaguar women.
“Walking a little funny this morning, are we?” Balam asked with a smirk.
Irritation bristled inside me, but I just smiled, refusing to let him see me ruffled. “You’re walking a little different, too,” I said. “A little light on our feet there, are we? Maybe missing a little weight? Say, the weight of a stone jaguar?”
Balam cracked a grin and gave a lazy wave. “Keep it,” he said. “You deserve it after that performance.”
He had tooth missing just behind his canine, a secret only revealed when I pleased him enough to smile that big.
“Performance?” I asked, my resolve already crumbling. “You think I was faking that? You’re the one who drugged me.”
“I warned you that you wouldn’t be a virgin for long if you opened it,” he said. “Although… I’m surprised it had such a powerful effect on a mere human. I consulted the oracle about that this morning.”
I glared daggers at him, but my pulse was doing funny things. Damn it. Why was I still attracted to this jerk in the morning?
“What?” he asked, his shit-eating grin enough to make me want to punch out another one of his teeth. “You don’t think I can fuck your brains out at night and consult an oracle in the morning? I’m a curandero, baby. Get used to it.”
“Okay, asshole,” I said. “Keep pretending you didn’t mean all those things you said last night. If it wounds your pride to admit a mere human can bring you to your knees, I’ll play along. But you’re the one putting on an act.”
With that, I strode ahead to join the others, as if I belonged among shifter royals and not out in the stable with the likes of Tadeu.
Father was not in the dining room, of course. King Ocelot did not wait for anyone, even his own daughters. Once we were all seated, the Court Caller announced Father, and he strode to the head of the table. I clenched my fists in my lap, every muscle in my body trembling with the urge to destroy, to kill, to obliterate his heart like he had mine. But of course, that wasn’t possible. Father’s heart could not be reached by the likes of me.
He’d had Lord Balam seated across from us again, which meant I had to look at his face as I choked down breakfast. It was better than looking at Father’s.
“As your visit draws to a close, I can only offer you thanks for gracing us with your presence,” King Ocelot said. “And the hope that we can repay the favor with a visit to your kingdom soon.”
“We offer you thanks for your hospitality,” King Jaguar said. “And extend the invitation to you any time.”
“My daughter, at least, will soon be making her pilgrimage to the other Feline Nations,” Father said.
Balam shifted in his chair. “Your Majesty,” he said. “As I’m sure you are aware, I have gifted your daughter with the jaguar amulet.”
Father’s eyes flickered to Camila, and I caught the flash of surprise there before he quickly pulled up his royal façade. “Of course,” he said. “And as a show of our deepest gratitude and solidarity with the Jaguar Nation, we would be remiss not to make a return visit to your kingdom.”
Though you wouldn’t have known from the outside, I could tell Father was beyond enraged that he hadn’t been told of this development. He looked like a fool, and worse, like there was some discord or even dissention in his court. That did not bode well for the most hated nation in the International Council of Feline Nations, or ICFN.
I took satisfaction in his shame.
At the same time, I recognized that it was a shame that belonged to all of us. Not only because we were the Ocelot Nation, but because Camila hadn’t gotten the amulet, and because I had gotten it through a virginity sacrifice. I wondered how close Lord Balam was to his king, what details he had given. Was the king upset that he’d given up the amulet so easily? Was he upset that Lord Balam had given it to a human instead of the princess herself? King Jaguar’s face betrayed no answers to these questions.
“My daughter has shown great initiative and diplomacy in acquiring the amulet,” Father said, taking Camila’s hand. “I’m sure you agree, she’ll make a fine queen one day.”
Camila paled, not daring to draw away even as I watched Father’s fingers grip hers tightly enough to make her fingertips turn red. He would be even more furious when he found out that I had gotten the amulet. That he’d made a fool of himself in front of the Jaguar Court, proving that he didn’t actually know anything about the amulet. I didn’t know why Camila hadn’t told him, but I knew we’d both pay for it.
“And what of your other daughter?” Lord Balam asked after an uncomfortable pause when no one filled our father in. “What are your plans for her?”
I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering where this was leading.
“She’ll serve her queen however the queen sees fit,” Father said, turning hard eyes on me.
I smiled at him and popped a grape in my mouth.
“She has no position in your court?” Lord Balam asked. “No royal titles? For someone with such cleverness and resilience, I would expect her to be an advisor already.”
Father’s face reddened. I rather loved Lord Balam right now, arrogant ass or not.
“Itzel is a mere human,” Father gritted out.
“I am aware,” Lord Balam said lightly, shifting his fruit around in its crystal goblet.
“This is why I have agreed to let my curandero escort your daughter to gain the next amulet,” King Jaguar said. “If Princess Itzel joins the quest.”
Every head turned to me, their mouths dropping open. Only Lord Balam met my gaping shock with a calm smile, as if this made perfect sense. My brain looped back on his words a few times before their full meaning sank in. We would have Lord Balam on Camila’s tour of the Feline Nations—a person of great royal importance and whatever power the oracle
gave him. This was a huge gain, an advantage Father couldn’t possibly refuse.
But why would they offer such a thing? Lord Balam had already fucked me. If Tadeu was to be believed, that was the ultimate achievement. After that, a woman quickly lost her value in a man’s eyes. For some reason, Balam must have asked for me to go with him, though. He wanted to escort me on a mission, one of utmost importance, to help my sister.
“Itzel is not a shifter,” Father said, his voice icy. “Camila will be the ocelot queen.”
“And yet, your human daughter was able to acquire our amulet,” King Jaguar said. “It follows that she might be able to acquire the others.”
I thought Father’s head would explode. My own mind was reeling. When Camila had mentioned it, I’d been torn, but now I had no one to protect here. If Father allowed her to take me, I could escort her on her journey to gain the amulets. Shifters had secrets and rules that didn’t allow humans to attend certain ceremonies, even parties. Considering the weight placed on this tradition, the most I had hoped for was to be her driver for the first leg of the journey—to the Jaguar Nation. Now we had their amulet.
“Thank you for your counsel,” Father said, his brows drawn down in thunderous rage. “But I make decisions for my kingdom and my daughters.”
“Of course,” King Jaguar said, as unruffled as his shaman. “I’m sure you have much to discuss regarding this matter, and ultimately, you will do what is best for your nation as well as the ICFN. All the same, I will leave my curandero here until your final decision has been made.”
Thirteen
“You have cost us an alliance with the Jaguar King,” Father roared at me as we sat in his private chambers after seeing the Jaguar Court off.
“Maybe we can fix it,” Camila said, twisting her handkerchief until I thought it would rip.
“We have the amulet,” I said. “Once Camila takes over, we’ll have no trouble forming alliances.”
“You insolent little—” Father broke off, spluttering too hard for words, and slammed his fist down on the table.
Broken Princess: A Dark Paranormal Romance (Feline Royals Book 1) Page 8