Living the Charade

by Michelle Conder

  ‘What are you thinking about?’ he persisted.

  ‘Isn’t that my line?’

  ‘I think it’s pretty clear what I’m thinking about. What I want to know is if you’re regretting what just happened between us.’

  No, she wasn’t regretting it. She was trying to figure it out. ‘No. I probably should, but I don’t.’

  ‘I’m glad.’

  He laid his palm across her forehead and Miller swallowed past the lump in her throat. ‘I’m fine. I told you that.’

  ‘I’m allowed to check.’ Leaning down, he ran his tongue over her lips, stroking into her mouth as she automatically opened for him.

  Miller gasped as pleasure arrowed straight to her pelvis, turning her liquid. She moaned when his knees urged hers wider and he settled himself between her thighs.

  ‘I want you again,’ he murmured roughly.

  ‘Really?’ Miller felt him hard between her legs and her trepidation at being here with him evaporated as she sensed just how wrong she had been about this chemistry being one-sided. He wanted her. Badly. And the knowledge gave her a giddy sense of sensual power that amazed her.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  TINO woke up early, as usual, and smelt the scent of sex at the same time as he registered that Miller was no longer in his bed.

  Confounded, he cracked an eye open and was even more puzzled to find the room empty and silent except for a couple of magpies warbling outside his window.

  He was used to a woman clinging after a night of sex. Not that he remembered ever having a night quite like that. He’d been insatiable, and a grin split his face as he recalled how she had matched him the whole way.

  He stretched his hands above his head and flexed stiff muscles. Last night had been incredible—and against every one of his rules.

  Sort of.

  It wasn’t that he’d forbidden himself to have sex this close to race day, it was getting involved emotionally that was the no-go zone. He might have thought about Miller more than he would have liked over the past couple of days, but he knew now that he’d had her in his bed his interest would start to wane. It always did.

  Which was why it was good that she would be leaving this morning. He had an enormously busy week, made even more so because he’d had to cancel yesterday’s round of meetings to care for Miller.

  Rolling out of bed, he pulled his jeans on and went in search of her to find out what time she wanted him to get the jet ready.

  He found her outside, watching the sun rising over the ocean that stretched beyond his backyard. She was completely enveloped in his black robe—so appropriate, he mused—her hair mussed and wavy, the sun’s rays highlighting the gold in amongst the brown.

  She turned when she heard the sliding door open and fingered her hair self-consciously. She looked adorable. And uncomfortable.

  He immediately sought to put her at ease and ignored the whisper of apprehension that floated across his mind. He didn’t doubt for a minute his ability to control this situation between them.

  ‘What are you thinking?’

  ‘I didn’t know men wanted to know what women were thinking so much.’

  He studied her, feeling as if he was facing down one of Dante’s highly strung thoroughbreds. ‘I don’t want to know what women are thinking, I want to know what you’re thinking.’

  ‘I’m thinking that you have a beautiful home. For some reason I took you as a city type.’

  ‘I visit too many cities as part of my job. My mother lives on the other side of the island and I bought this place when she fell ill a couple of years ago.’

  ‘Is she okay now?’

  ‘Fine. Fitter than I am.’

  Miller’s lips twisted into a faint smile. ‘Well, it’s lovely here. Peaceful.’ She glanced out over the lawn towards the beach and he caught the nervousness in her eyes. ‘But I should probably be heading back home.’

  Her lips were still kiss swollen from last night, and he noticed a slight red mark from where his beard growth had grazed her neck. He’d have to be more careful of her soft skin, though some primal part of him was pleased to see his mark on her.

  ‘It’s seven in the morning. Are you sore?’

  She coloured prettily. ‘That’s personal.’

  ‘Sunshine, it doesn’t get any more personal than my mouth between your legs.’

  She gasped. ‘You can’t say that!’

  She looked mortified, and for some reason her reaction pleased him. He was so used to women preening and posing in front of him that her embarrassment was refreshing. She hadn’t been a virgin, he knew that, but she wasn’t a practised sophisticate either, and one of the things he loved—hell, liked—about her was that she was so easy to tease.

  He stepped closer to her and urged her stiff body into the circle of his arms. ‘I’ve embarrassed you?’

  ‘Yes, but I don’t know how.’ She gave a deep sigh. ‘I should have expected you to just say what you think. It’s one of the first things I noticed about you.’

  She gripped his forearms as if to hold him off, but he’d have none of it, his thumbs drawing lazy circles over the thin cotton of his robe covering her lower back, gentling her until she fitted against him as naturally as his tailor-made jumpsuit.

  ‘What else did you notice?’

  ‘That you had ripped jeans and needed a shave.’

  Tino gave a hoot of laughter. ‘Sunshine, you are hell on my ego.’

  ‘Your ego is one area I would never worry about.’

  She was watching his mouth, and his laughter dried up instantly. ‘I usually start the day with a run followed by a green smoothie, but this morning I’m going to make an exception.’

  Her aquamarine eyes lifted to his, her pupils expanding as he watched. ‘What are you replacing it with?’

  He enclosed the nape of her neck with his hand, slowly bringing her mouth to his. ‘That depends on the answer to my earlier question.’

  She frowned, and he pressed his pelvis into her to facilitate her memory recall. She smiled, and he felt tightness in his chest.

  ‘Only a little.’

  Her answer sent the tightness lower. ‘I promise to be gentle.’

  * * *

  Miller must have dozed, because she awoke to the feel of Valentino spooning her from behind as he had done first thing that morning. Then she had slipped out of his bed, because the sensation of waking with his protective arm draped around her waist, his fingers resting protectively over her abdomen, had been both frightening and exhilarating. And now the same feelings were back.

  He just seemed to swamp her. His warmth, his scent, her desire to burrow against him and never leave. It was as instinctive to her as breathing.

  Right from the beginning she’d sensed he would have this intense effect on her, and wasn’t that the reason behind her fear now? Hadn’t she avoided feeling such intense emotions for another person because she knew better than most how tenuous relationships were? But how could a playboy racing car driver with a reputation for having a death wish make her feel so...so safe? So secure? It had to be straight hormones because otherwise it defied logic!

  As did her current feeling of wellbeing. Something she hadn’t experienced since before her parents had divorced, she suddenly realised. And hot on the heels of that little revelation was the unwelcome understanding that she had been trying to get this same sense of belonging from her job for years.

  On some level that wasn’t a total surprise, because she had always treated work as a second home, but what was newsworthy was that even the thought of making partner didn’t give her quite the same sense of safety that Valentino did right now.

  Confused, and feeling slightly exasperated with her seesawing emotions, Miller again tried to creep out from under his arm—only this time his strong fingers spread out like tentacles to cover her whole belly.

  ‘Am I going to have to tie you to my bed to make sure you’re still here when I wake up?’

  His deep voice was s
leep-rough, his warm breath stirring her hair.

  Miller stilled, wanting to run and wanting to stay at the same time. In the end she wasn’t strong enough to resist his magnetic pull and subsided back against his hard body.

  ‘Where were you going, anyway?’

  ‘I really need to start making tracks.’

  ‘Now, there’s a very Aussie expression.’ He rolled her onto her back and rose up on one elbow, his gunmetal-grey eyes lazily intense between thick, dark lashes.

  Feeling exposed, Miller pulled the sheet up over her breasts. His gaze lingered on the sheet and she had the vague impression that he was about to flick it off her.

  Glad when he didn’t, she let her breath out slowly.

  ‘Why are you so determined to run off, anyway? You don’t strike me as the one-night-stand type.’

  ‘I’m not.’

  ‘Then stay one more day. I have a sponsors gig tonight. You can come with me.’

  Alarmed by just how much she wanted to accept what she suspected was an unplanned invitation, Miller immediately reacted in the negative. ‘I can’t. I have to work.’

  Annoyance flickered briefly across his face. ‘Work from here. You have your computer.’

  Miller smoothed her eyebrows. He was doing his steamroller thing again, but what was one more day to him? And when would she go home? Later tonight or in the morning?’

  He stroked a strand of hair back off her forehead. God, she must look a mess.

  ‘I know what you’re thinking. You don’t like the uncertainty of it.’

  Miller’s eyes flashed to his. Did he really know her that well, or was she really that easy to read?

  ‘It’s not hard to figure out, Miller. I know you hate surprises so it follows that you wouldn’t like half-baked plans. How about we make it the whole week?’

  The whole week!

  ‘Five days, to be exact. That way you can come to my mother’s gala event, which TJ is expecting to see you at anyway, and watch me race on Sunday.’

  Miller felt her brows scrunch together. ‘Why would you want me to come to your mother’s ball?’

  Tino rolled onto his back and gave her a reprieve from his intense scrutiny. ‘Honestly? My mother invites every debutante in the known universe to this thing and expects me and my brothers to meet every one of them in the hope that we’ll fall in love.’

  His apathetic attitude to falling in love stabbed at something inside her. ‘Oh, poor you. All those single women in one room. I would have thought it was every man’s dream.’

  Her words were sharper than she had intended, but she was slightly insulted that he would talk about other women while he was in bed with her. Even if they were women he apparently didn’t want.

  The reminder that he would never want anyone permanently—not even her—struck a chord, because permanence was all she did seek! She’d just never sought it with a man before.

  ‘Hardly.’ His dramatic tone nearly made her laugh, despite her aggravation. ‘Debutantes come with strings attached, stars in their eyes and pushy mothers. That’s no dream any man I know has ever had.’

  Suddenly, he lifted onto his elbow, looming over her again, and Miller caught her breath. His gaze roved over her face and he trailed a finger over the sensitive skin of her neck just below her ear, winding a slow, sensual path downwards.

  ‘I did you a favour last weekend. The least you can do is protect me from women I’m not interested in on Saturday night.’

  His voice had lowered with intent, and Miller’s body responded like one of Pavlov’s dogs. She pushed his hand away. ‘Stop that. I can’t think when you’re this close.’

  ‘That’s only fair since you have the same effect on me.’

  ‘I do?’ For some reason, his admission startled her.

  ‘Well, I can think, but it’s usually about one thing.’ His hand returned and his fingers circled her nipple, making her arch off the bed. ‘Say you’ll stay.’

  She tried to organise her thoughts. ‘Because of the sex?’

  She was breathless, and his smile as he rolled on top of her was one of pure male triumph. ‘The sex is phenomenal, but the more I think about you going to my mother’s party the more I like it. With you there I can relax, and I might even enjoy it. And Caruthers will expect it.’

  ‘Since when do you care what Dexter thinks?’ Miller asked breathlessly, catching a moan between her clamped lips as his fingers traced a figure eight over first one breast and then the other, skimming over her nipple just a little bit too lightly each time.

  ‘I don’t.’ His skilful touch became firmer. ‘Say yes.’

  Miller felt deliciously light-headed. ‘You’re steamrollering me again,’ she accused, trying to hold her body still.

  Valentino nipped the skin around her clavicle. ‘Is that a good thing?’

  Giving up on trying to resist him, she speared her fingers through his hair, enjoying the thick, weighty texture of it curling through her fingers.

  ‘I don’t know.’ She groaned and dragged his mouth to her breast. ‘Please, just stop talking.’

  ‘You’re so sexy.’ His voice was rough, more a low growl, as he finally pulled her nipple into his mouth with just the right amount of pressure.

  Miller felt as if she was levitating as her legs shifted helplessly under the onslaught of pleasure. She moaned his name. He nudged her legs apart, and even though her internal muscles ached from over-use the rush of liquid heat between her thighs was instant. She felt him fumbling in his side table, his mouth briefly leaving her breast to tear the condom packet open, and then he was back, pressing her into the bed.

  ‘Now, where was I?’

  God, he made her feel... He made her feel...

  ‘Say you’ll stay.’

  His mouth teased the soft skin beneath her ear, and even though she knew she must have terrible morning breath she turned her face, searching for his kiss.

  ‘Okay.’

  What had she just agreed to?

  ‘For five days.’

  His fingers stroked between her legs, drawing moisture from her body in preparation for his possession.

  ‘I...’ She arched her hips, her body already balanced on a knife-edge of pleasure, desperate to go over.

  ‘Say yes.’

  ‘Yes—whatever.’

  She was desperate, and his husky chuckle of dominance annoyed her. With a spurt of defiance at his formidable self-control in the face of her total lack of any, she wrapped her legs around his hips and tilted her pelvis so that he had no choice but to slide deep.

  He swore as he plunged into her, and Miller smiled and buried her face against his straining neck. She clenched his shoulders and her internal muscles at the same time, and suddenly the balance of power shifted as he bucked in her arms before surging deep again.

  She felt him groan against her hair, and then her mind closed down as he pounded into her with such primal force she thought she might break. And then she did. Into a whirlpool of pleasure that sucked her under and blew her mind. Dimly, she heard Valentino shout her name, and she could feel the power of his release as he spilled himself inside her.

  It seemed for ever before either one of them moved, and even then it was only weakly.

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked.

  Miller gulped in air. ‘Ask me in a minute.’

  He chuckled and shifted onto his stomach beside her. ‘Sorry. That was a bit rough.’

  Miller stretched her arms above her head. ‘It was fabulous. I may never move again.’

  Groaning, Valentino dragged himself from the bed. ‘I wish I had the same luxury. Unfortunately not working yesterday and spending half the morning in bed today has no doubt put the team incredibly behind.’ He bent and gently kissed her lips. ‘Why don’t you stay in bed? Recover? I’ll send Mickey with a car at five o’clock to bring you into the city.’

  The city? It took a minute for Miller to remember their conversation. She watched through half-closed lids as Valentino str
olled into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

  She recognised that she’d just been steamrollered again, and that she had agreed to stay with him for five days and attend a party to help keep eager debutantes at bay.

  What were you thinking?

  She stared at the ceiling and tried to feel agitated, but instead all she felt was happy. Oh, not at the whole debutantes thing, but just at being here. Maybe it was called afterglow.

  Otherwise it didn’t make sense. Especially given her confused emotions and the fact that she still didn’t know if she had a job or not. But, yes, she was definitely happy.

  But she was also smart enough to know that she couldn’t rely on those feelings. Reality would intrude and she would have to get herself back on track. In the meantime maybe she should take his suggestion. Call Dexter, finish TJ’s proposal, and then treat the next five days as an impromptu holiday.

  Valentino, she knew, would make sure she had fun—and would it be so wrong to soak up his hospitality for a little longer? To soak him up for a little longer?

  She rolled onto her stomach and glanced at the digital bedside clock. Ten o’clock. If this was a normal work day she’d have been hard at it for three hours by now and staring down the barrel of another ten. And those were her hours during quieter periods.

  She sighed and shifted her attention to the magpies hopping about and conversing with each other outside the full-length window that took up one whole wall of Valentino’s masculine room.

  She was under no illusions as to why he had asked her to stay for five days, and although she had never been the type to enter into a purely sexual relationship there was a first time for everything. She just had to keep things as light and breezy as he did. No intense emotions, no second-guessing herself at every turn. Just...fun.

  * * *

  Miller stepped from the car and smiled at Mickey as he held the door for her. Mickey was everything she’d expected—large, fit, and capable of lifting a small house with his bare hands. The fact that he was also capable of purchasing women’s clothing didn’t bear thinking about.

  The pavement outside the swanky Collins Street retail outlet was lined with photographers and fans, all of whom quickly lowered their cameras as soon as they saw that she wasn’t anybody special. Glad for once not to be part of the in crowd, Miller quickly turned her eyes to the burly security guards who stood either side of the short red carpet.