Desperate for relief, I stretched out beside him, facing away. He massaged my lower back with gentle pressure. I relaxed. “That feels good,” I said.
“Does it still hurt?” he asked.
“No. I don’t know what you did, but it’s gone now.”
He bared my shoulder, then kissed the exposed flesh. “I’ve had it with celibacy,” he said.
“Now there’s a surprise.”
“Think about it,” he said, drawing me closer. “When we first met, we lived together under the same roof for six months before you’d let me into your bed. Then I was sidelined by that bloody snake. After you learned the truth about me, you banned me for a month. And now—how long has it been? Almost two months?”
“It’ll be another six weeks after the baby comes,” I reminded him, turning over to give him a sympathetic kiss.
He groaned loudly.
“Ow! The pain’s back,” I said.
“Mine too.” He put his hand on my swollen belly. “The lad’s been quiet, hasn’t he?”
“No movement since yesterday,” I said. “That’s normal just before birth.”
He didn’t respond. His hand still rested on my abdomen. Pains at regular intervals. The baby was still. The due date was tomorrow. I wanted, needed to go to a hospital now, but it was out of the question.
I was certain I would give birth before the night was over.
66
Connor
“Rafaela—I need your help!” I shouted. “My wife is in labor!”
Rafaela ran up the stairs. Lynne was in bed, I was at her side. I had prepared carefully for the birth. The mattress was covered with a vinyl protector and an extra layer of sheets. At the foot of the bed were clean towels, a washbasin and scissors for cutting the umbilical cord. On the nightstand was a large bowl of ice chips, which I was hand feeding to her.
I wiped her face, whispering to her. “It’s going to be all right,” I told her.
“When did the pains begin?” Rafaela asked.
“About one-thirty, I think,” I said. “Her contractions are at five-minute intervals.”
“I thought it was just cramps at first,” Lynne said as she braced herself for another contraction.
“That’s how it normally starts,” Rafaela assured her. “Let’s see how things are progressing.”
She pulled up a stool at the foot of the brass bed and examined Lynne. “She’s almost ready. Let’s move her down here. She can push her feet against the railing if need be.” She looked at the thick socks on Lynne’s feet. “You’ll have to take those off. When she pushes, they could cause her feet to slip and injure her.”
“Just trying to make her comfortable,” I said.
Rafaela nodded. “She can have them after this baby has been delivered.”
I gently pulled the socks off her feet and put them aside. “If they get cold, I’ll massage them for you.”
“My water broke,” Lynne gasped as they moved her closer to the foot of the bed.
I looked questioningly at Rafaela, who nodded. “It’s all right, my love,” I told her. “It will be lovely to have a waterbed.”
“You’re disgusting,” Lynne gasped as I fed her more ice chips.
“You didn’t find me disgusting the night this wee one was conceived.”
She let out an agonized cry. I turned to Rafaela. “Is there nothing we can do to ease her pain?” I asked, empathizing with her pain.
Rafaela shook her head. “You might give her something to bite down on when the pain comes.”
“I can think of something—” Lynne was gripped by another contraction. “They’re getting stronger.”
I checked my watch. “They’re two minutes apart.”
Rafaela examined Lynne again. “I can see the baby’s head. Push, Lynne.”
Lynne pressed both feet to the brass rail and let out a scream. I held onto her. “It’s almost over, love. Push again.”
“I can’t!” Lynne wailed.
“Just a few more pushes, Lynne, and you’ll be a mother,” Rafaela encouraged her.
“Come on!” I urged.
Lynne sat up, her feet pressed hard to the rail, and reached between her legs, gripping the rail with both hands. She arched her back and pushed with as much force as she could summon up. She was gasping, unable to speak. I held her tightly, urging her on. “Once more and he’ll be out.”
She pushed hard. “That’s it,” Rafaela said. “It’s a boy.”
Lynne fell back, panting. The baby started to cry. I kissed her. “You did it, love,” I said. “You did it.”
“You get to carry the next one,” she told him. “Give me my baby.”
Rafaela placed the baby, still covered in blood and amniotic fluid, on Lynne’s chest, then handed me the scissors. “Cut the umbilical cord,” she told me.
I tied the cord in two places, then cut between them. I looked at my wife. She was exhausted but had the most beautiful smile on her face. “Look at him, love. He’s perfect. Ten fingers, eleven toes—”
“Eleven?”
“Oh, so that’s not a toe, is it?” I laughed. “I think I should take him to be cleaned up.”
“How soon shall I nurse him?” Lynne asked.
“Not until tomorrow. He won’t be hungry until then,” Rafaela said.
“I need a bath.”
“Not yet,” Rafaela said firmly.
“I’ll wash you up as soon as I get this lad ready to lie with his mum,” I promised, taking the baby off to the bathroom. I was relieved. Had anything gone wrong, I don't know how we would have dealt with it…
I couldn’t sleep. Trying not to disturb Lynne, I got out of bed and settled into the old rocking chair next to the bassinet. I watched my infant son sleep, overcome by the powerful emotions I felt for the baby.
As if sensing his father’s presence, Kiwi opened his eyes and looked up at me. I reached into the bassinet, and the baby immediately seized my finger. I laughed. “Already you have advanced visual and motor skills,” I said proudly. “You might not want to be showing off in front of your mum, though. She might get the wrong idea.”
The baby tried to suck on my finger. “Ah, I know what you want,” I said, lifting him into my arms. “Tell you what. You promise not to wake your mum, and I’ll take you to her.”
The baby whimpered. “Ssh,” I hushed him, putting a finger to his lips. “Your poor mum’s exhausted. She doesn’t have to be awake for this.”
I cradled Kiwi in one arm and dragged the chair over to the bed where Lynne slept. I sat down and with my free hand uncovered her breast. I positioned Kiwi there and he immediately began to nurse. I watched until he was finished, then lifted him to my shoulder, patting him gently until he burped.
“It’s a good thing your mum doesn’t sleep on her back, isn’t it?” I asked as I carried my wee son back to the bassinet. “That could have been a bit difficult to navigate.”
I sang to him until he finally went back to sleep, then got back into bed with Lynne. She turned over and snuggled against me. I held her, unable to sleep, lost in thought.
I stood outside in the cold night air, oblivious to the chill. I wished I had one of my motorbikes with me. I needed to be alone, to think. I didn’t know how to tell Lynne what I was going to do, what I had to do. It would take all the willpower I could summon up to leave her and the baby, but it had to be done. It was my obligation, my responsibility.
I zipped my coat and pulled up the hood. It was starting to snow. I’d have to make sure there was plenty of firewood before I left.
“It will be difficult to leave them, I’m sure.”
Startled, I turned. Gabriel stood behind me, watching with concern.
I couldn’t hide my surprise. “How did you know—”
“You’ve been considering it for weeks now,” Gabriel said, checking the firewood. “You know what you’re planning is dangerous.”
I nodded. “There’s no other way.”
“You know the
truth,” Gabriel said, staring up at the star-filled sky. “Why do you continue to resist?”
“Truth?”
“Who you are, why you were sent.”
“I see you’ve heard the rumors,” I said, absently pushing a rock with the toe of my shoe. I realized Gabriel must have been eavesdropping, but I no longer worried about it. They had proven themselves to me, and if they were a bit strange, I accepted that. I knew I would have to depend on the couple to look after Lynne and Kiwi until I returned. If I return.
“You can’t accept it?”
“I was brought up to believe only in what I could see, prove.”
“You were brought up, at least in your early years, by a mother who taught you to believe, to love, to embrace the calling for which you were created,” Gabriel contradicted him.
“My mother was a scared, sick woman,” I said with deep sadness.
“No, she was not ill at all,” Gabriel said. “And her only fear was for you. She simply saw what others could not. People fear what they don’t understand. Your mother understood because her heart was open. She could see a miracle because she expected to see one.”
“And look what it cost her.”
“Ask yourself this: is this the world in which you would like your son to grow up?”
I frowned. “No. I don’t want him to be caught in some maniac’s crosshairs simply because he’s my son.”
“Then you already know what must be done.”
67
Lynne
“No. You can’t. It’s suicide,” I protested when Connor told me of his decision over breakfast.
“I either go back to London, or we all remain here in exile indefinitely,” Connor said.
“Then we stay here,” I said stubbornly. “I need you. Your son needs his father.”
“What do you think they would do to me if they did catch me?” he asked, reaching for his coffee. “They won’t kill me. I’m too valuable to them, remember?”
“If I’m right, Connor, you’re now a threat to them,” I insisted, having suddenly lost my appetite. I pushed my plate away. “Once you rejected their plans, you became a liability instead of an asset.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m no prophet,” he said with certainty.
“How do you explain the way you healed your mother? And me? And the bird?” I challenged him.
“I don’t know, but there has to be a logical explanation.”
“And the visions?”
He took a bite. “I’m epileptic. Goes with the territory.”
Kiwi slept peacefully in his carrier, oblivious to the tension around him. “He’s the reason I have to do this,” Connor maintained. “I’ll not have him grow up a fugitive.”
“I don’t think we can avoid that.”
“If I go to the proper authorities now, if I deliver the evidence to them, those bastards can be stopped. Kiwi would be safe and all those children could be found and returned to their parents.”
“You told me yourself they have people everywhere,” I argued. “How do you know you wouldn’t be walking into a trap?”
“I don’t,” he admitted, “but I have to do something.”
“Even if you go to a legitimate law enforcement officer, you’re a wanted man, Connor,” I reminded him. “You’ll be arrested. What good will that do anyone?”
“It will make them investigate—and hopefully shut GenTech down.”
“Hopefully.” I repeated the word, frustrated.
“When we first arrived in Egypt, when we first met,” he began, reaching across the table to take my hands in his, “There was a young woman at the airport. When I bumped into her at the baggage carousel, I had a vision. I knew she was carrying explosives. I did nothing, and two hundred people died when the plane she boarded in Cairo exploded as it was about to land in New York. I was a selfish bastard then. You changed me, darlin’. You made me a better man. The man I am now can’t sit back and do nothing. I owe this to you and to my son. I owe it to all those children and their parents whose lives I destroyed on my ego trip.”
“I’m not going to let you be a sacrificial lamb for my sake!” I shouted, waking the baby. He started to cry, and I took him from the carrier. “It’s all right, Kiwi,” I said softly, holding him close.
“What about for his sake?” Connor asked. “My mother sacrificed herself for me. Should I do less for my child?”
68
Connor
“You should try to get some sleep,” I said, stroking Lynne's hair.
“I can’t.”
We were lying in bed, holding each other in the darkness, neither of us able to think about anything except what the morning would bring. “You’ve got to take care of yourself,” I insisted. “Kiwi needs you.”
“He needs his father, too, but that’s not stopping you from leaving,” Lynne said, tears welling up in her eyes. “You’ve talked about how it felt, growing up not knowing who your father was. Is that what you want for him?”
“Of course not,” I said, my heart breaking. “But if I can’t come back, he’ll have what I didn’t—his mother, who can tell him about me, about how much his daddy loves him.”
“Are memories supposed to take the place of having you there?” she wanted to know.
I sighed heavily. “We’ve been through this already—”
She sat up. “You’ve told me that your mother wasn’t there for you when you needed her, that even though she’d made sacrifices to ensure your future, the money and education she’d obtained for you didn’t really matter,” Lynne reminded me. “You resented her for it, Connor. Do you want your son to resent you, too?”
“I know you won’t let that happen. You know I’m doing what’s right.”
“I should be proud of you for doing this,” she said, “but all I can think about is how hard it is to say goodbye. Connor, please, don’t do this.”
“If I don’t, we spend the rest of our lives in hiding and those kids might never be found,” I said. “Lynne, I’m responsible for the suffering of all of those families. It’s my fault the kids were abducted. I have an obligation to them, too.”
“Yes, you do. But you don’t have an obligation to put your life on the line. Mail it to them,” she urged me. “Put it in a mailer and send it to them.”
“I considered that,” I said. “I can’t be certain it will be accepted as credible if I don’t go. There’s so much there the lay person couldn’t begin to understand.”
“I’m not proud of myself for saying this, but all I care about is keeping you here with us,” she admitted. “I want our son to have his father. I want to have my husband with me like this every night.”
“One day, when this is all over—”
“It’s never going to be over!” she snapped. “They’ll kill you, Connor! If you go back there, you’re as good as dead.”
I sat up and held her close, wishing there was something I could say or do to comfort her, to make her see that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t go.
It was snowing the morning I left. I looked at Lynne and knew she was barely holding it together. Her eyes were red from crying, her face puffy. She held Kiwi, heavily bundled, in her arms, watching silently as I put my bags into the trunk of the car. Gabriel was already in the driver's seat, starting the engine. I closed the trunk lid and went to Lynne.
She made a last-ditch attempt to stop me. “Please don’t go,” she said softly.
“You’re the one who’s always urged me to answer the call,” I reminded her.
“You never believed,” she said. “Why now?”
“I want to,” I admitted. “I want redemption.”
“I want you alive,” she said.
“I want our son to be proud of his father.”
“You don’t have to be dead for that.”
“I’m planning to come back here very much alive,” I told her.
“They’ll find you if you leave here.”
“Not if I’m
careful.” I turned the blanket back to kiss my wee laddie’s face, then kissed Lynne. “I love you,” I said softly.
She nodded. “I love you, too.”
I finally broke away from her and got into the car with Gabriel. “Are you having second thoughts?” Gabriel asked, starting the engine.
“Oh, yeah,” I confessed. “Second, third, fourth.”
“You know what you have to do.”
“Only too well,” I said as we drove away. I looked at the rear-view mirror. Lynne had broken down. Rafaela was taking the baby from her. I could tell she was crying uncontrollably, and my own tears came freely.
“So, Gabe—am I ever going to see them again?” I asked, finally regaining my composure.
“Only God knows,” Gabriel answered honestly.
69
Lynne
“Dinner is ready,” Rafaela said as she entered the master bedroom.
I sat in the old rocker by the window, nursing the baby. “I’m not hungry,” I said.
“You have to eat,” Rafaela reprimanded me. “You’re nursing. Your child needs the proper nourishment.”
I nodded. I had to think of him. “Could you bring it up? Would you mind?” I asked. “Kiwi needs me.”
Rafaela gave me a disapproving look. “I suspect you need him more than he needs you right now,” she said. “But you may have your dinner alone, if that’s what you want.”
As Rafaela started to leave the room, I said, “It’s not fair, you know.”
“It’s up to God to decide what’s fair and what is not,” Rafaela disagreed.
“God wanted us to be together, and now He doesn’t,” I said, unable to contain my bitterness. “Where’s the fairness in that?”
Rafaela sat on the foot of the bed. “You’ve known for months now who you married,” she pointed out. “You know of his calling. You know who we are and why we came.”
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