The waitress brought water with ice tinkling in the glasses. She took their order and left them alone. Lani reached along the table, found her water glass, and took a small sip. The cold wetness gave her courage. She could do this.
“You smell good, Lani.” Tyrone’s voice was soft.
“Thanks.” Lani put down her glass.
“So, um, do you have any idea who got our baby?”
Lani’s heart rate accelerated. “You don’t waste any time, do you?” Her hands shook, and she folded them together in her lap.
“Can you blame me? I’ve wondered all these months. Was it a boy or a girl?”
The wistfulness in his voice made tears well in her eyes. She wet her lips. “I don’t know, Tyrone. I aborted it.” Her right hand crept to her stomach, and she choked back the bile in her throat. She heard Tyrone inhale sharply. At least she didn’t have to look at his face.
The words might as well have fallen into a void. The tinkle of tableware and the laughter and voices at other tables sounded distant as she waited for his response. If he called her every filthy name in the book, it would only be what she deserved.
“You killed our baby?” He didn’t sound angry, not yet. His voice vibrated with disbelief. “All this time I imagined a little boy or girl growing up in some nice home.”
“I couldn’t go through with it, couldn’t face the stares of my friends,” she whispered. “But what I didn’t know was how much I’d hate myself for doing it.”
“It always comes back to you, doesn’t it, Lani? All you care about is yourself.” The anger was in his voice now, and the table vibrated as he slammed his hand down on it.
“You’re right.” Her words were barely audible. “You can’t hate me any more than I hate myself. It was so wrong. I wake up in the night thinking I hear a baby crying.” Hot tears rolled down her cheeks. “There’s no way to take it back, to undo it.”
“You’re right.” The chair screeched on the floor, then his voice spoke low as if to maintain some privacy. “I can’t sit here and eat with the woman who killed my baby.” His footsteps walked away.
Lani was sure everyone must be staring. She dabbed at her eyes with her napkin and took a deep breath. Tyrone’s anger felt justified, a holy whip from God. It was a relief to have it out in the open. She’d told no one about the abortion except Annie. Her sister had cried, then tried to comfort her, but the comfort never took. Lani was still sullied with her deed.
Fisher whined and licked her foot. She reached down and rubbed his ears. “I’m okay,” she whispered. But she wasn’t. She would never be able to rub away the stain of her guilt.
Ben sat under a coconut palm by the water. The wind brought a salty spray to his lips as he listened to the sound of the surf. He’d dropped Lani off half an hour ago, so he still had an hour to kill.
His cell phone bleeped, and he answered it. “Ben here.”
“Ben, it’s Lani.” Her voice was low and tearful. “Can you come get me?”
“Where are you?”
“At the restaurant.”
“Where’s Tyrone?”
“We—had an argument and he left.” She took a ragged breath. “Can you come? I think people are staring.”
“I’ll be right there.” He closed his phone and jogged to the bike. Tyrone wasn’t the kind of guy to walk out on a woman. It must have been some argument. They sure didn’t waste any time. He made it back to the Harley dealership in record time. Parking in the lot next to the restaurant, he saw Tyrone leaning against the twisting branch of a monkeypod tree. His shoulders slumped, and his head hung down. Ranger nosed at Tyrone’s leg.
Ben walked over to join him. “What happened? Lani just called me to come get her.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Tyrone lifted red-rimmed eyes toward Ben. “Just get her away from me.” He grabbed Ranger’s lead. “Forward,” he snapped.
Ben watched him walk away then entered the restaurant. He found Lani still at the table with her food in front of her. Tyrone’s plate was across the table from her. Neither had been touched.
He put his hand on her shoulder. “I’m here.”
Her reddened eyes held a deep sadness. “Can we go now?” she whispered.
“Let me get a box for the food.” He motioned to the waitress. She brought two boxes after a curious stare at Lani, then took the money he offered.
Lani and Fisher followed him out to the bike. Tyrone was no-where in sight. He got Fisher and Lani installed. “Now what’s this all about?” he demanded.
“I can’t talk about it.” She swiped the back of her hand across her eyes. “I just want to go home.”
Ben sighed and kicked the engine to life with more force than necessary. One of them would tell him sooner or later.
Chapter Eight
Pu’uhonua oHonaunau held a certain mystique Lani loved. The Place of Refuge had been a part of the islands since ancient times. If a commoner broke kapu and did something unpardonable, he could run here to make atonement. It had been a place of retreat and refuge for her, too, since she’d been a child. She would search the tidepools in hope of finding an oyster with the biggest pearl ever seen inside, but the most she ever discovered was a starfish or two.
She needed refuge after the encounter with Tyrone two days ago. Her spirit felt bruised and battered. The wind made a melody in the palms over her head, and the surf roared. Sand and grass softened the ground under her feet. She thought she saw a flash of light, but when darkness closed in tightly she decided it had been her imagination.
The picnic tables and barbecues were at the southern end of the state park past the tidepools. Keikis screamed with laughter in the shallow pools of water. She thought longingly of the great snorkeling just offshore, the brilliant blues, yellows, and reds of the fish. She could see the colors so clearly in her mind, and it seemed impossible that she might never see them with her eyes again, but she was beginning to wonder if she needed to face facts. The wind from the sea, clean and salty, brushed Lani’s cheeks. The waves lapped with a gentle sound on the rocks. The sea must be mild today.
The wind carried Josie’s voice to her. “The last one to hit the waves has to buy coffee!”
Lani heard Ben chuckle. “What?”
“You should see them all running for the water. They’re all carrying surfboards. Even your aunt. Oh wow, Arlo just caught a terrific wave. He’s a pretty good surfer. Your aunt is right behind him. Oh no, she just wiped out. Arlo just flipped off on purpose—I think to check on Rina.” He gasped. “They’re okay. Rina just gave the thumbsup.”
“Good play-by-play,” Lani said, smiling. The sun beat warm on her shoulders. For the first time since her encounter with Tyrone, she felt at peace. Ben and Fisher guided her over uneven ground until she bumped up to a picnic table.
“I brought snorkel gear,” he told her. “Are you up for a swim?”
Lani couldn’t imagine anything worse than to be floating in the water without any idea of where the shore lay. “I don’t think so. It would feel like swimming in an abyss.” She shuddered.
“You don’t have to give up the things you love,” he said. “Fisher loves to swim. And I’ll be with you every minute.”
Her breathing quickened, and she fingered her mother’s necklace around her neck. “No thanks. You go ahead. But if you could guide me to the big rock that juts into the water, I can sit there and listen to the sea.”
“It sounds like it’s a favorite spot.”
“I used to come out here a lot after my mom died. Sometimes I thought I could hear her voice in the waves.” Heat settled in her cheeks. Her confession was too intimate to share with someone who was a virtual stranger, especially one who held her at a distance the way he did.
“There’s something lulling about the sea.”
His voice sounded wistful, as if he had sorrows too. Lani wished he’d share something about himself. “Do you have any siblings?” she asked.
“A brother.” His voi
ce changed, grew grim. “Ethan.”
She tried not to flinch. Every time she heard that name, she thought of her embarrassment. “Is he married?”
“Yeah, he and his wife have a little girl who’s almost two.”
“Are there problems between the two of you? You sound almost mad.”
“I love my brother, but he’s not being the dad he should.”
“That’s too bad. I know what it’s like to have a dad who keeps me at arm’s length. His research always comes first.”
“I’m sure he loves you.”
“A diplomatic thing to say.” She smiled. “He probably does, as much as he’s able, anyway. Annie has been my salvation, especially after our mom died.”
“Hey, girl, let’s get in the water.” Fawn’s voice broke into her thoughts.
Lani shook her head. “No way. I’m not going swimming.”
“Yes, you are.” Fawn grabbed her hand and hauled her up. “I even brought your swimsuit. I’ll be with you every minute.”
The breeze picked up and brought a stronger scent of the sea to her nose. Maybe it wouldn’t be quite as scary as she thought. “Five minutes,” she said. “But you have to hang on to my hand the whole time.”
“Done.” Fawn led her to the bath building, where they both changed into their suits.
At the first touch of the warm waves on her toes, Lani stopped. “I can’t do this, Fawn. I don’t even know where the rocks are.”
Ben’s voice spoke in her ear. “Reach out with your other senses, Lani. Hear the waves splash against the rocks. Feel the currents and trace them back to where they detour around the stones.”
Lani fought back her jangling nerves and tried to do what he said. She strained to listen to the waves. There, a little curl of wave hit a stone to her left. Another sounded like a deep bell as a larger wave struck it. She waded in a bit farther, feeling along the bottom with her feet. The sand gave way to rock, and she stumbled and fell face-first into the water.
The ocean closed over her head, invading her nose, ears, and mouth with stinging salt water. Flailing, she struggled against the waves, not sure which way was up or down. Even with water clogging her ears, she heard a splash next to her, then something clamped onto her hair and an unseen force yanked in some direction. Her head broke the surface of the water, and her pinwheeling hands touched wet fur. Fisher had hauled her to the surface like a wet kitten. She coughed and gasped, sucking in a welcome mouthful of air. Her lungs and throat burned from the salt she’d inhaled.
A hand touched her arm. “Are you all right?” Ben asked.
Her eyes stung, and she tried to tell herself it was the salt. “I want to go back,” she said. “You left me.”
“I was right here. Fisher just got to you first. You were in no danger.”
She bent over, coughing hard as the waves lapped at her knees. Didn’t he realize she’d almost drowned? When she had her breath back, she stood and patted her leg. “Here, Fisher.” She heard the splashing, then the dog pressed his wet nose against her leg, and she rubbed his head. Running her hands over him, she realized he barely had his head above water, but he still stayed close to her. “Good boy. You saved me.”
He licked her hand, and she went to her knees in the water, letting him lick her cheek.
“I’m so sorry,” Fawn said. “I tried to grab you as soon as you went down, but I stumbled too. Don’t let this scare you, Lani. Five more feet and you’ll be in water perfect for floating in the waves.”
“I don’t want to go in. Which way back?” She tried to sound rational and calm, but everything in her screamed for them to take her back.
“It’s like getting back on a horse,” Ben said. “If you don’t go in now, you’ll always be afraid to swim. Is that what you want?”
“I’m going to see again.” If she could see him, she’d hit him.
“I hope so. But I don’t want you crippled with fear, Lani. You have to conquer it.”
She wasn’t strong like Annie. But she heard the challenge in his voice. She wanted to be confident again, to laugh in the face of fear. “Five minutes,” she said again. She held out her hand, and he took it.
“Hang on to me,” he said.
Fawn moved to her other side. “Put your hand on my arm.”
Lani grasped Fawn’s forearm, and they began to wade through the waves. The ground sloped until she stood in water to her waist.
“I’m going to hold on to your hand. Lie on your back and float,” Ben said.
Lani nodded. She took a breath for courage, then thrust herself back with her face up to the warming rays of the sun. The waves buoyed her, and she floated.
“I’m going to let go of your hand, but I’ll be right here.” Ben squeezed her fingers, then let go. “Now listen. You can hear the kids at the tidepools and the people at the picnic tables. Out in the water you can hear a boat engine.”
He was right. Suspended in the waves, she knew the safety of the land lay to her right, and to her left stretched open water. She began to relax. The disorientation began to leave, and with it, her sense of terror. With some sense of her location, she floated on her back and let the waves lap over her. The sound of the surf soothed her.
“You okay?” Fawn asked.
“Yes, I’m not scared now.”
“I forgot sunscreen, and I’m starting to burn. I’m going to go in a minute and put some on. I’ll be right back. Ben is still here with you.”
“That’s fine,” Lani said. Fawn sloshed off. Lani felt weightless in the water. She’d needed this time.
“Help! Help!” A faint scream came to her ears. She flailed in the water as she righted herself. “Did you hear that? Someone is in trouble.”
Ben pressed her arm. “It’s a kid. I have to help. You’ll be okay, Lani. Stay right here. Keep the shore to your right.”
The pressure of his hand vanished. “Don’t leave me!” Lani grasped empty air and heard him splash off in the waves. Fisher nuzzled her hand.
His voice called from a distance. “No one else is close, Lani. I’m a strong swimmer. I’ll be right back. Hold on to Fisher.”
What could she say? Lani couldn’t hold him back when someone needed saving. She stood with the waves hitting her in the chest. Shouts came from the shore as people realized someone was in trouble. Lani told herself she would be fine. Her feet were planted on the sand. Her hand gripped Fisher’s collar. As long as she stood right here, the waves couldn’t pull her out to sea.
She listened to the distant shouts from one direction and the sound of motorboats from the other. Ben would handle it. Her limbs were just beginning to warm after her initial terror when she felt a hard shove. Fisher barked. Her feet lost their purchase on the sand and slipped out from under her. Without thinking, she let go of the dog as if to prevent herself from falling. Waves closed over her head, and she inhaled a mouthful of water. Then hard hands pressed down on her shoulders, and her bottom touched the sand. And stayed there.
She tore at the hands on her shoulders, kicking out with her feet. The soles of her feet touched only water as her attacker stayed out of reach of her struggles. Her lungs burned with the need for oxygen. She had to breathe. Her hand brushed Fisher’s fur. She reached out again and grabbed a handful of dog, but even with her fingers clenched in his fur, she couldn’t get out from under the ruthless hands that pinned her to the seabed. A roaring filled her head.
She was going to drown. Fisher pulled away, and she felt abandoned. The pressure on her shoulders eased. The soles of her feet touched the sand, and she gave a great push up. Her head broke the water, and she began to gasp in huge lungfuls of air. Ben had been right. The first time she’d only choked down a bit of water. She had been in no real danger. This time she had come very close to drowning. Her lungs still felt on fire, and she felt weak.
She heard someone thrashing toward her in the waves. Was her attacker back? She listened for the sounds of children and moved with the waves toward the shore. Fisher ba
rked and growled, and the sound of splashing moved away. Picking up her pace, she stumbled into shallow water. Then she reached the shore, where she collapsed onto the sand. Someone had just tried to kill her.
Chapter Nine
Thresh stormed down the pier, still fuming about the failure. Ethan was waiting with his daughter, a cute little blond. If he thought her presence would keep him out of trouble, he was wrong. Thresh was in no mood for excuses.
Ethan’s smile faded when he saw Thresh’s face. “Everything okay?”
“Nothing I can’t handle,” Thresh snapped.
“I’ve been having some problems too,” Ethan said. “My brother is close to finding out what I’m doing. You might have met him. He’s helping the blind girl.”
Thresh froze, blood pounding, feeling like a trapped bird. “Ben Mahoney is your brother? You don’t look anything alike. You don’t even have the same last name.”
“We have different dads. Mom lived in a hippie commune on Kaua’i in the seventies, and she had Ben there.”
Could it be? Peekaboo’s last name had always been a mystery. “What about Ben’s father?”
Ethan shrugged. “Someone Mom called Ash. He died. I guess she never knew for sure if he drowned or if sharks got him, but he went swimming once and never came back.”
Thresh felt the blood drain from his face. So Ben was Ash’s son, and Peekaboo was Ben’s mother. What an unexpected surprise. Ben was the key to Peekaboo. No wonder the kid looked like Ash. Well, that settled it. Ethan would have to die. Thresh smiled at him, anger forgotten. Yes, Ethan would have to die for a greater cause, and the sacrifice would be a worthy one.
Maybe today hadn’t been a total waste after all.
Ben eyed Lani where she sat on a blanket under the coconut palm. She still looked pale and kept coughing, even though she’d been out of the water over an hour. At first he’d wondered if she’d imagined the attack—until he saw the red blotches on her shoulders.
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