by Luna Lucas
“I swear I wanted to tell you!” Sam exclaimed for perhaps the fiftieth time as they walked around the park.
“I still don’t believe that you were actually incapable of telling anyone,” Donna replied, making a face.
Sam rolled his eyes and changed the subject. “So, you and Josh, huh?”
“No,” Donna said immediately. “I told him I just wanted to be friends.”
“But that’s not all this is going to be.”
“You don’t know that. I’m still with Collin.”
“I can see it. Anyway, when Josh wants something to happen, he makes it happen,” Sam said easily, but his words made Donna shudder slightly. Seeing this, Sam added, “I don’t mean to scare you, but he’s my best friend, and I know him better than anyone else.” He hesitated and then continued. “I want you to know everything before you get into this.”
“Everything? There’s more?”
“He’s not completely… in control… of himself.”
“I know that already,” Donna said.
“Just be careful.”
“I don’t get it,” Donna said, frowning. “He’s been there constantly, whenever I’ve needed him. I think he’s been saving me since he got here.” She smiled.
“I don’t doubt his intentions,” Sam said. “I know he cares about you.”
“Then what is it?” Donna persisted.
Sam sighed. “I don’t want to scare you.”
“I don’t get scared easily,” Donna said, rolling her eyes. “I know how out of control he is and that still hasn’t scared me away from him.”
Sam was quiet before responding. “His last relationship – last serious relationship – was about one year ago. The thing about Josh is that he is very loyal and he expects loyalty in return. So, this girl, Angelina, was his childhood friend. But she cheated on him and… well, like I said, he’s very out of control. He almost killed the other guy. So, what I’m trying to say is that he gets very protective of what or who he thinks is his – he’s protective of his family, his friends, his girlfriends. And you saw that he almost killed those people who attacked you. But he also almost killed that guy who Angelina was with, even though that guy was also a friend of Josh’s. Do you get what I’m trying to say?”
Donna nodded slowly.
“I know he cares about you a great deal, probably more than he has ever cared about any girl. He wouldn’t do anything to hurt you,” Sam continued. “But… just be careful.”
*****
“Yuki?” Josh said, walking up to the front door of his house, where Yuki was leaning against the door frame.
“You probably weren’t expecting me this soon,” she said, “but I think you might be interested in what I just found out.”
“Let’s hear it then,” Josh said, leading her to the living room where Hazel was lounging on the large, plush, black velvet sofa, reading a book. At their entrance, she sat up, looking confused.
“I don’t know if I should call this a coincidence or bad luck or what,” Yuki began as she took a seat across from Hazel, but Josh interrupted her.
“Don’t keep me waiting to hear it then,” he said impatiently.
“The Hailwood division – of vampires, I mean – have marked Donna Sawyer.”
Josh stared at her in disbelief. Hazel opened her mouth to say something, but Yuki held up a hand to silence her.
“And over the past few years, their marking policy has changed.”
“How?” Hazel said. “Isn’t marking just pinpointing who they want to ‘recruit’ next and then approaching them for their permission?”
Yuki shook her head. “That’s what it’s supposed to mean. But like I said, the policy has changed a lot.”
“In what way?” Hazel demanded.
“You know that our side lost a lot of forces in Operation Tangent seven years ago.” Josh recalled that Operation Tangent had been launched by the American forces against Britain, in retaliation for Britain’s decision to expand their recruitment target areas to other countries, specifically America. Josh had been young back then, and he still didn’t keep up much with vampire wars, but he couldn’t forget the news reaching their side about how brutal the operation was. “So the Department of Law Enforcement decided to change the rules a bit. Since they need more vampires now, they decided to just mark the humans that they want and then convert them – without their permission. Anyway, it was too risky to get permission from humans in the first place. Most of them were persuaded or forced to join anyway, even if they resisted in the beginning. But those that didn’t break had to be killed or silenced in some other way.”
“Like the time when Taurus Kip gave the order that a man be kept in custody and ‘persuaded’ to join the vampires,” Hazel said. “And he continued to resist until their ‘persuasion’ methods drove him insane.”
Yuki nodded.
“But why Donna?” Hazel asked.
Yuki shrugged. “Maybe she has the traits that they want in humans. Aggressive, angry, independent, comfortable with being alone…”
“But they also want people who don’t have really close family or friends around them,” Hazel said. “So that no one investigates too much.”
“Maybe they misjudged her,” Yuki said, “or maybe they really want her and are willing to take the risk. Either way, she’s in danger.”
“So that’s how those two men escaped that night,” Josh said, speaking for the first time.
Yuki nodded. “That’s another new policy – they’ve decided to send humans instead of vampires to capture the new recruits, just in case something goes wrong. They don’t want to take any risk of exposure. And when those men got caught… well, I’m guessing the vampires decided to save them before they even got to jail. But I’m pretty sure they didn’t save them with good intentions. They probably had something worse planned for them than the police did.”
“So what do you suggest, Yuki?” Hazel asked. “What should we do?”
Yuki sighed. “Honestly, Hazel, I’m not sure. But I think, first and foremost, you should warn her about what’s going on.”
“I don’t know if that will be helpful,” Josh said.
“She’s right,” Hazel said. “Donna should know what’s going on.”
Josh didn’t say anything but his mind was reeling fast. How could this be happening? The whole time he had thought all these attacks had something to do with Donna’s relationship with Peter’s friends. How could he have been so shortsighted? And all the fighting lessons that he had given her were useless if the other side was not human. How would Donna take it when he told her?
And what if she decided that she wanted to join the vampires?
Chapter Twelve
“You’re telling me vampires exist too?” Donna cried, putting down her paint brush and turning to face Sam.
“Well, if you think logically, for vampires to be hunting you, they need to exist first.”
Donna threw an eraser at him. He ducked, and it fell to the floor.
“Hey, don’t take your anger out on me,” he said, looking amused. “And I just told you that there are vampires who want to make you a vampire too. You should be focusing on that rather than being so surprised that vampires exist.”
“Well, that part is kind of flattering.”
“Um, not really, Donna,” Sam said, sitting down on her bed. “They sent two people to kidnap you, one of whom tried to rape you too.”
“I agree that their way of going about it is wrong,” Donna teased, laughing at his reaction.
“Are you not scared at all?”
Donna looked thoughtful. “I’m relieved that this mystery is solved.”
“It will take a lot to get them to leave you alone.” Sam sighed dramatically. “The things I do for you.”
“You deserve it,” Donna shot back. “After you hid from me the fact that you’re a werewolf.”
“You can’t still be angry about that.”
They continued to banter
and argue like they always did, but the truth was that she could push away the confusion and uneasiness from her mind when Sam was around. She guessed that was probably the reason Josh had asked Sam to tell her instead of telling her himself.
*****
It was way past midnight when she called him.
He had decided not to leave her unguarded at night anyway so he was around the place – in his wolf form – when he got the call. He opened the front door with the spare key that he had and went upstairs to her bedroom. He found her curled up in her bed. He walked over to her, crouching down in front of her.
“Hey,” he said, “what happened?”
“I – I had a nightmare, and it just shook me. I guess it’s because of what Sam told me yesterday.” Her voice was hollow and dull. She looked up at him. He saw that her eyes were red and there were mascara stains on her cheeks where the tears had run down. “I thought I was recovering. I thought I was getting better.”
“You are getting better,” he told her. “Just give it some time.”
But she shook her head and closed her eyes.
He wished he could do something, anything to make her feel better. He reached forward and gently rubbed the mascara stains that the tears had left under her eyes. As the calloused skin of his thumb met the soft skin of her face, she looked up at him again. She shuddered involuntarily.
“Is there anything I can do for you, Donna?” he asked gently, cupping the left side of her face in his large hand.
She closed her eyes. “Make me feel something,” she whispered. “Something besides numbness and fear. Touch me.”
He sighed and took her in his arms. “Donna, you’re hurt and afraid. You don’t know what you want.”
“I know I want you,” she said impatiently. “Touch me.”
He pushed a stray strand of hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. He knew he longed for her, perhaps a hundred times more than she longed for him. He bent down and tenderly kissed her on the lips before pulling away. She reached forward and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer.
He grabbed her wrists and gently pried them away from his shirt. “Patience,” he murmured. He kissed her lips again, longer than before. “Are you sure you’re not just –?” He hated himself for asking, but he had to be sure.
She sat up. “I’m sure I want you to touch me. Everywhere. Please,” she begged. The hurt, fear, and longing in her eyes were enough for him to give in.
“You don’t have to beg me, ever,” he said firmly.
“Then touch me, please. Now.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. He slowly pushed her backward until she was lying on her back. She ran her hands over his chest as their kiss deepened. He kissed her until she began to shudder again, her hands trembling against his chest. He pulled away, breaking the kiss.
“Easy, there,” he soothed, rubbing her lips with his thumb, but he could feel her tension increasing as her breathing started to become shallow. She didn’t seem to want to acknowledge it and continued to run her trembling hands across his shoulders and chest. He took both her hands in his, raising them above her head and holding them there with one hand. “Hey,” he said gently. “Trust me?”
He held her gaze until she began to relax, her breathing becoming more even. He then reached down and recaptured her lips with his. He felt her arms tug against his grip on her wrists, but he held them there, gently, but enough to restrain her. “Relax,” he murmured against her lips. “You don’t have to do anything. I want you to feel good.”
He moved his lips to her neck, kissing down to her collarbone. He used his free hand to caress down the side of her waist. He was putting all his efforts into being extra gentle, not wanting to startle her, seeing as she was in such a vulnerable state already. He could feel her beginning to squirm underneath him, her restlessness increasing again as she tried to find something to do with her arms. She impatiently moved them around the bed. He came back up to kiss her, gently restraining her hands above her head again. He kissed her until he felt her relax as she surrendered to the kiss. “Better?” he asked, kissing the side of her lips.
She nodded, her eyes closed. He kissed her neck and then moved to her shoulders. He ran his free hand up her outer thigh. He felt her begin to tremble again and she tried to free her hands. He sighed and came back up again. “Will you trust me and relax, Donna?” he asked. She nodded, but he saw that she was fighting back tears. He let go of her wrists and sat up, taking her into his arms. He leaned against the headboard and held her tightly as she began to sob. “Relax,” he said soothingly, rubbing her back. “We don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.”
“I’m sorry,” she said between sobs as she rested her face against his chest. “I’m sorry, Josh.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” he said gently. His body felt heated with the desire inside him. Holding her in his arms was just making it worse, but he took deep breaths to calm himself, turning his attention back to her.
“I told you to t-touch me –” she gasped between sobs. “I gave you the idea.”
“Shh,” he whispered.
“I can’t go further, I’m so messed up, I –”
“Donna,” he sighed, “I wasn’t going to go any further than you wanted.” He kissed the top of her head. “Get some rest. You’ve exhausted yourself enough for the day.”
She didn’t respond, but held onto the front of his shirt, crying. Eventually, her sobs began to die down, and she closed her eyes, allowing herself to drift off to sleep while Josh held her in his protective embrace.
*****
Even though she still had panic attacks sometimes and her nightmares frightened her some nights, she was recovering from her ordeal. The memory of that night when she had had her clothes ripped off and had been slammed against the tree trunk was starting to blur and fade away. She could walk alone at night now, could sleep with the window open. Even though those vampires were still hunting her, she knew that she could not change the inevitable. What would happen, would happen. She was going to take control of her life again like she always had.
She decided to spend more time with Brook since she was the only one who had always been able to make her feel better without knowing that something was wrong. She was also the only one who wasn’t involved in superhuman drama. Brook knew that Donna had attacked, but did not know the whole story – and Donna preferred to keep it that way. She didn’t want one more person to get worried or scared for her wellbeing. They met between classes and during lunch breaks and talked about regular things that people her age normally talked about instead of talking about vampires and werewolves like Donna had been doing for the past few weeks.
She was also trying to work on her relationship with Collin. She spent evenings with him at his place and went for walks with him at night. She knew, deep down, that she still felt nothing for him. She didn’t know why she was putting herself through it. Maybe it had to do with the fact that she wanted some semblance of normal life back. That’s what she was telling herself one day, as she stood on her toes to kiss Collin in the school parking lot after school. She stood there for a few minutes after he had reversed his car and driven away, trying to figure out if this was the right thing to do. He didn’t deserve this, and neither did she.
Sighing, she walked towards her car. Lost in thought, she didn’t notice the person who had been standing there watching her while he leaned against her car.
“Josh!” she exclaimed when she saw him. Something stirred inside her because of his presence, but she chose not to acknowledge it. Just the sight of him instantly made her feel better and pushed her musings about Collin out of her mind.
“Having fun pretending to be in love with your boyfriend, love?” he asked, smirking.
Donna rolled her eyes. “I’ve missed you, Josh. It’s been – what? – a week since we talked properly.” She leaned against the car with him.
“But it�
�s good to see you’re getting better,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulder.
“It feels good.”
Josh casually started playing with her hair as they talked.
“Any more weird men following you around?” he asked.
Donna laughed aloud. “Not that I know of. Any more weird men almost die at your hands?”
“Sadly, none. I’ll see you later, then.”
Leaning in before she could protest, he kissed her quickly on the temple before moving away. This simple act triggered something in her, and she reached up to press her lips against his. She closed her eyes as he returned the kiss, the tingling sensations running down her body so unlike the times when she kissed Collin.
She broke the kiss and fell back on her heels. “I think we need to stop doing that,” she whispered breathlessly.
“Or not,” he said casually.
“If we’re going to be just friends, we need to stop doing that. I’m trying to work on my relationship with Collin. It’s not fair to him.”
Something darkened in his eyes. He stepped forward and Donna instinctively stepped back, bumping into the car behind her as he moved in closer. He smiled – a slow, cocky smile.
“You and I – we can never be just friends,” he said, his voice low as he leaned over her. She could feel his cool breath on her cheek. He placed his hands on the car on either side of her, trapping her there. Her heart started to race as she thought of something to say, but the way he was looking at her had rendered her speechless. He tilted his head slightly to one side, watching her as her insides fought between desire and panic. “We can continue to pretend,” he said. “If that’s what you want, I’m willing to go along with it. But only for so long.”
She opened her mouth to retort, to say something witty but instead she stammered, “W-why?”
He leaned in closer. “There’s too much passion between us. Too much desire. Too much energy. We’re either going to be passionate lovers… or nothing at all. But we’re never going to be just friends. The only reason you’re so determined to work on your relationship with your boyfriend is that you’re afraid of facing what you feel for me. And you know that. And I hope you admit that to yourself soon.” He lifted a hand to brush a strand of hair away from her face. She started at him speechless as the reality of what he had said hit her. She tried to move away from him, but his other arm still rested against the car. He bent down and whispered in her ear. “Don’t make me wait too long.”