by Luna Lucas
“I had a feeling you might be smitten with me.”
He chuckled and kissed the tip of my nose. “Let’s get back to the tree?”
I nodded and took his hand, squeezing it before I went back to the ladder. As we dressed up the rest of the house, Liam took every chance he could to tell me he loved me. My embarrassment and hesitation didn’t come from the fact that I didn’t love him. I adored him more than I had anyone one else in my life. I just didn’t know what to do with my feelings. They were new and intense. It was like riding through a storm, enthralled by the beauty of it, but still aware of the danger it possessed. That was what love felt like, and it was exhilarating.
We had put the last of the ornaments on the tree, and we both stepped back to admire our handiwork. The glass glistened by the light of the fire, throwing colorful shadows across the oak floors. I smiled and leaned into Liam’s shoulder, looking up at him.
“We did a good job.”
“You did a good job,” he corrected, wrapping his arms around me. “I was just the muscle, darlin’.”
I smiled and turned to him, putting my hands on his chest, opening my mouth to speak. That was when the door to the front of the house slammed shut, and the wood creaked under my husband’s weight. I knew it was him. I could smell the sickly, overpowering scent of his cologne already. Besides, all of the house staff were in their quarters.
My eyes widened in fear, and I grabbed Liam’s hand running to the window and unlocking it. The parlor was on the first floor, so he’d have no trouble getting out. He was smart enough to stay quiet as I ushered him out the window, my heart racing. Reynold was already beating on the door, and I could taste the acidity of fear as it worked its way into the back of my throat.
Once Liam had both feet on the ground, he cupped my cheek and kissed me softly, silently promising that he would be back for me. I watched him disappear into the night before closing the window and latching it, being careful not to make any noise.
I gathered my skirts and walked over to the door, opening it and offering Reynold a nervous smile. His cloudy eyes were narrowed with suspicion and before I could greet him, he pushed me aside and wandered into the parlor.
“Why was the door locked?” he grunted, moving around the room.
I tried to keep my voice steady, thankful his back was to me as I brushed hair out of my face with shaking hands. “I wanted to surprise you with the tree, and I didn’t want you to burst in and see it before it was finished. You didn’t tell me when you’d be home. I just wanted to be sure it would be a surprise.”
His icy gaze turned to me, and he sneered, moving about the room. He walked over to the couch and picked up one of Liam’s burnt out cigarettes. That’s when I saw his leather hat. It was sitting innocently on the couch. My heart dropped into my stomach, and I waited silently, watching as Reynold set the cigarette down in favor of the hat.
He picked it up and turned to me, his lips drawn back into a snarl. “Who was here?”
“Just one of the farm hands. I’m not sure what his name is. He was helping me put ornaments on the higher branches. I knew you’d be upset if I fell and hurt the baby, so I didn’t want to take any chances,” I said quickly, scrambling.
He walked closer, his steps slow and deliberate. He was like a predator, ready to pounce and ready to make me pay for my lies.
“Your cheeks are flushed, your hair is disheveled, and you’re panicking,” he whispered, his voice low and dangerous.
I was already starting to back towards the door, my animal instincts kicking in. I wasn’t safe, and I knew it. Something about the look in his eye told me that the baby wasn’t going to protect me this time. As Reynold stalked closer, he came to stand beside the tree, looking it up and down before his gaze turned to me.
“Who was in my house?”
I was silent, unable to get the words out. “I don’t know his name,” I finally managed.
Reynold wrapped his fingers around one of the thick branches of my tree and pulled it down. It crashed to the floor and all the ornaments shattered. Glass shards exploded and scattered across the floor. The tree was destroyed, and as he stepped over it to get to me, his foot came down on the beautiful metal star that had topped the tree, crushing it under his shiny, black leather shoes.
“You lying snake!” he snarled, grabbing my arm so tightly that I knew his fingers would leave bruises.
This abuse was familiar. It had been months since I found myself at his mercy, but now it was coming back to me. I remembered feeling helpless and unable to defend myself. I’d cry and crumple into a useless mess, but I wasn’t going to do that this time. I wasn’t going to give up without a fight.
I let out a shriek and dug my fingers into his hand, watching as blood broke the surface and ran down his skin in little rivers. He didn’t release me, but I didn’t release him either.
“Do you think you’re going to win? Do you think you’re going to get away?” he whispered, his words dripping with hatred. “You’ve made a fool of me Mariana, and I’m going to show you what happens to people who dare betray me,” he hissed.
My eyes narrowed, and I bared my teeth. “I didn’t make a fool of you! You did that just fine on your own!”
His meaty hand came down on my cheek so hard that I lost my footing and stumbled back, falling to the ground. My ears were ringing, and blood was already starting to drip down my chin from my lip. My tongue darted out, and the metallic taste sent rage flooding through my entire body. I didn’t deserve this. There was a time in my life where I thought this was just how things were. My mother had me convinced that I didn’t deserve anything else, but I knew better now. I knew there were good men out there.
I went limp, using it to hide my hand as I reached for a particularly large shard of glass. My fingers wrapped around it and I ignored the dull pain as the glass cut into my palm.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He kneeled beside me and wrapped his fingers in my hair, forcing me to look up at him. “What was that?” he whispered.
“I’m sorry,” I said again.
“For what?” he insisted. He wanted to hear me admit my adultery, but I’d never give him the satisfaction of that.
“I’m sorry I did not do this sooner.”
He seemed confused, and I took that moment of confusion to slice into his cheek with the glass shard. Reynold howled in pain and jumped up, his hands pressed to his cheek as blood soaked the collar of his shirt. I stood and ran for the fireplace, grabbing the tool holder and raising it above my head. I brought it down on his skull with an audible crack, and he hit the floor, knocked unconscious by the single, mighty blow.
The brass holder slipped from my fingers and hit the ground with a loud ‘thud.’ The monster had fallen, and now all I needed to do was escape the castle.
Chapter Eleven
Reynold’s chest was still rising and falling slowly, but that brought me little comfort. He was still alive, and that meant I had to move quickly. I didn’t know how long I had before he woke up and I didn’t want to be around when he did.
The rain was pouring down outside, and the flash of lightning guided my way. As I rushed up the stairs, Heidi caught sight of me, her eyes wide in terror. She was wearing her nightgown and had clearly been getting ready for bed.
“Ma’am?”
I stopped and turned, looking at her, my bottom lip quivering. She rushed over to me and gasped softly. “You’re bleeding!”
“I’m…I’m alright!”
“Where is your husband?” she asked quickly, lowering her voice.
“He’s…he’s in the parlor. I knocked him out.”
Her hand flew to her mouth, and her eyes grew even wider, if that was possible. “What?!”
“I had to, Heidi! He was going to kill me!”
“What are you going to do when he wakes up? We need to call the police!”
I shook my head and took her hands. “You know as well as I do that he has the authori
ties wrapped around his finger. The only way out of this is if I leave.”
“Ma’am…”
“I’m sorry, Heidi.”
She shook her head and slowly wrapped her arms around me. “Are you running away with the farm hand?”
I nodded and pulled away, smiling softly. “He loves me, Heidi. He loves me, and he loves my baby. This is my only chance at happiness.”
She nodded and cupped my cheeks. “Then you need to take it.”
I nodded and kissed her cheek tenderly. “You were a good friend, Heidi. A wonderful friend.”
“As were you. I will cherish our time together.”
“Take care of my books?”
“You know I will,” she said with a sad smile. “Now, go.”
I nodded and ran to my room, grabbing a single suitcase. It was the suitcase I’d come here with, and now it was the suitcase I was leaving with. I put a few silk dresses inside but made sure to save room for all my jewelry and gold. I had no intention of keeping these things for myself. This was our currency. This was how we would start our lives somewhere else.
Along with the jewelry, I managed to fit a decent amount of money that I’d been sneaking from Reynold. I closed the suitcase, locked it up and ran down the stairs and out the front door. Everything was a blur, and I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but I didn’t care. I was finally free.
The rain hit my skin and washed away the blood. It washed away the fear and left nothing behind but the promise of a new beginning. I was a new a woman. I shed the skin of the fearful, crying girl and now I was reborn as a woman who would fight until the bitter end. I had finally become someone I was proud of.
The earth was soft and I sunk into it, losing my shoes at some point, but that didn’t slow me down. Liam’s cabin was in my sight, and I wouldn’t stop until I reached it. I stumbled through the mud and finally fell against his door, beating on it and glancing back over my shoulder. I didn’t feel fear at that moment. If Reynold came after me, I would fight him again, and this time I wouldn’t hesitate to leave him unconscious.
Liam threw the door open and pulled me inside without saying anything. “Mariana! What are you doing in the rain? You’ll catch your death!”
“I did it,” I whispered, bursting into hysterical laughter as tears rolled down my cheeks. “I did it, Liam!”
“What?” He asked, brows furrowed in confusion.
“I knocked him out! He hit me, and he…he figured out that someone had been in the house! He was starting to realize what was going on and I felt like he was going to kill me! So I knocked him out!”
“What?! Oh, Mariana! Are you alright? Are you okay?” He asked, cupping my cheeks and turning my head from side to side, inspecting me from all angles.
“I’m alright! I’m okay! I’m better than I’ve ever been!” I exclaimed, still laughing.
He brushed the tears of relief away and pulled me into a long embrace. We held each other, taking a moment to absorb everything. It had happened so fast, and I was still running on pure adrenaline. When he finally pulled away, he gripped me by the shoulders.
“We have to go.”
“I know. We need to leave now. I don’t know how long he’ll be out.”
“The rain will cover our tracks. He won’t be able to use the hound dogs to find us.”
I nodded and watched as he grabbed a rough, leather satchel that sat ready in the corner of his humble cabin. He returned to me and took my hand, starting to pull me towards the door.
“Don’t you need to pack?”
“I’ve been packed for months,” he said, pulling me out the back door.
We stepped into the rain, and he led me towards a small wagon with a canvas roof. It was packed with supplies, but there was enough space for someone to sit. He kissed me and helped me inside. “Stay here. I’ll be back,” he promised, rolling down the canvas flap.
He disappeared, and I settled on the hard floor, leaning against a crate of dried meats. I closed my eyes for a moment and tried to calm my racing heart. This was the first moment that I’d been able to stop and take in everything that had just happened. I wasn’t a violent person, but I was proud of the action I’d taken against Reynold. I was certain that if I hadn’t knocked him out, he would have killed me. I would never apologize or feel guilty for what I’d done. Even if he died, I would stand by it.
I heard the jingle of metal on metal, and the sound of rain hitting the waterproofed canvas. It was the sound of freedom, and it was comforting. The soft neighing of the horses was lulling me to sleep. I didn’t realize how heavy my eyes felt until I finally allowed myself to close them. I was emotionally drained and was finally starting to feel the physical effects of it.
The wagon jolted forward, and I opened my eyes just enough to see the blur of mud and grass through the small gap at the bottom of the makeshift door. I lifted my arm to grab hold of one of the boxes when my eye caught the glint of gold in the moonlight.
My wedding ring still sat on my finger. It was a big, ostentatious thing with a large diamond that caught the eye of every jealous woman in the room. It was a way for Reynold to boast his wealth without having to say a single word. It was a shackle that told everyone that I belonged to him and I’d be damned if I wore it a moment longer.
I pulled it off my finger and chucked it out the canvas door, watching as it disappeared into the mud. I could have kept it and sold it, of course, but I didn’t want to carry it with me to my new life. We would be fine without it. In fact, I had a feeling we would be much better off without it.
I could not know for certain, but what I did know was that my hand and my soul felt lighter without it.
Chapter Twelve
We traveled for ten days. We were alone and always looking over our shoulders for hostiles or Reynold. I tried to help as much as I could, but Liam wasn’t having it. He insisted that I rest inside the wagon. Winter was settling in around us and gave us reprieve from the scalding sun, but even as we moved south, the temperatures dropped dramatically at night. We had enough blankets to keep us warm, but it was still a struggle to sleep and keep our heads straight.
On the eleventh day, we came to a settlement at the base of a mountain. Large wooden pillars were erected around it to protect it from anyone who might be out to do the community harm. We were welcomed inside with open arms and little suspicion. Over the first few days, we learned that the community was made up of people who’d come from the East and settled in California to better their lives. Out here there was the promise of gold and cheap land. A man could make something of himself if he tried enough.
The fact that so many people were transplants made it easy for us to fit in. We were welcomed and even offered a modest house in exchange for a few dresses and some gold. It was a small cabin on the edge of town that was owned by another couple, who hadn’t been able to make it work out here. They returned to New York without taking a single furnishing and left the house to their neighbors who were happy to sell it.
This truly was our new beginning
The sun was up, and so was I. I stood by the fire, stoking the flames and trying to get it to warm the rest of the house. I stood and put my hands on my hips sighing softly as the flames finally started to crackle and lick the edges of the stone fireplace.
Our life was simple here, and I was glad for it. I’d traded all my silks and finery for simple linen dresses and livestock. My mother would have been horrified to see me cleaning my own house and cooking my own meals, but I was happy, and that was all that mattered. This was the life I had always wanted. I just never realized it was an option.
I sighed happily and leaned against the smooth, wooden broom handle, gazing out the small window in the living area. Our house was only two rooms with a small, unattached kitchen that you could only get to by going out the back door. The house was far smaller than anything I was used to, but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was the happiness it was filled with. Liam was just outside, watering the h
orses. We’d managed to buy a few more since moving to Fort Range, and Liam was turning our land into farm land. Soon we would have enough crops to sell and feed ourselves, but until then we would live off what we’d brought.
I jumped when I felt a strange pressure in my belly. It was soft like a flutter of excitement but different. I put my hand on my growing stomach and rubbed the taught skin adoringly. That was when I felt the tiniest shift. My baby was kicking!
Heidi told me that one day I would feel something strange in my belly. She told me about how babies kick to let their mothers know they were alright and that they were excited to meet them and come out into the world. I wasn’t sure how much of it was true, but I liked to believe it all was. I wanted to meet my child, and I could only hope they wanted to meet me too.
I ran out the front door, a flannel shawl wrapped around my shoulders. My breath turned to fog before my eyes and Liam rushed over to me.
“Darlin’, you should be inside. It’s too cold out here.”
It was still early in the morning, and the sun hadn’t quite melted the patches of ice that were scattered across our land. “No. Liam, you must feel this,” I said, grabbing his hands and putting them on my belly.
He looked at me, confused for a moment. When understanding started to dawn on his face, I knew he’d felt it too. Those feathery flutters were back and even more insistent now that Liam was touching my belly.
“Do you feel it?” I whispered, my voice filled with awe.
“Is that your baby?” he asked, his voice choked with emotion.
I shook my head and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close. The heat of his body felt good against me. “No. It’s our baby,” I whispered, running my fingers through his thick hair.
His hands hadn’t left my stomach, and I could feel how much he wanted to be a part of mine and my baby’s life. I looked up at him and brushed my fingers across his cheek, wiping away a bit of dirt that was clinging to his beard.
“You are this baby’s father. If that’s what you want, then I want it too. I would never force you to take on something you don’t want, but I love you, and I want you to be there for me, and I want you to be there for this baby. This is our life, Liam,” I whispered. “You swept me off my feet, and now you have me. I want this. I want this desperately.”