by Mj Fields
“How the hell does he even know she’s in the hospital.”
“Your mother called to let me know, and he overheard Mags’ name.”
I stand, unable to listen to her voice anymore. I need to walk away because Phoenix is eyeballing me, no doubt wondering if I have a date lined up, which is fucked up on so many levels, given I want her so badly I am holding back on myself.
I walk toward the restroom, and she looks at me, then down. I stop and put myself between the fucker who looks at her tits and some chick who has been looking like I’m her next meal.
“That’s the ex,” I tell her.
She looks over at her, then back at me and shrugs.
“I’m gonna piss, then walk out of here. I’ll be back to get you.”
“I can find a ride,” she says, her face beet red.
I look at tit boy and back at her. “I’m your ride.” Then I walk away before I lose my shit.
When I walk out of the bathroom, I look at Phoenix, who’s looking at me. Too much care in those eyes to be confused with anything else, so I blast her back with a look she knows—want, need, and desire. Fuck, I wish I had driven it home balls deep in her when she asked for it earlier. Now this...This shit—Juliana...No, it’s not going to detour me from making that happen.
As I’m walking out the door, I hear the past screaming after me. Fucking embarrassing, infuriating, and almost deafening.
I don’t stop, I know the bitch will follow, so I walk out quickly and am almost at my truck when I hear it again.
“Gage Falcon, do not walk away from me. We need to talk!”
I look back. “Go fuck yourself, Juliana.”
“Grow up and think of Brandon!”
With those words, I turn around and point at her. “He’s all I have thought about. You...” I pause because cunt is on the tip of my tongue. “You have it made, Juliana. You manipulated your way into a family who can take care of your undeserving ass. You got a fucking degree, a house, alimony, and child support enough that you don’t even have to work!”
“For him. For my son!”
“Exactly, a little boy who I thought was my blood for years, and you fucking pulled the cuntiest move of all to do that to him for your own fucking gain! You are one sick bitch, you know that?”
“I have my reasons, and someday, you’ll understand.”
“I understand. You may have fucking manipulated me back then, but I’m no fucking fool. I know you want what’s best for you, hell maybe even him, but that doesn’t mean shit. Just fucking go. Let the winds of the south blow your ass back to bitchville.”
“That’s so mature, Gage Falcon,” she says like she has any room to talk.
Cunt.
Chapter Ten
Girl Crush
Phoenix
Watching her look at me while he was in the bathroom with her perfect face, shape, hair, and nothing but malice in her eyes made me want to hide under the bar. She was intimidating as hell, making all the confidence I gained from the way he looked at me melt away.
“She pay for that second drink?”
I look back at William, Mandee’s father, and roll my eyes.
He narrows his then nods toward Mandee. “Go get that money or you’re fired.”
That son of a bitch has hated me since the day I met him, and now...Now I know he depends on me to help Mandee get stronger.
“You and I, we need to have a chat someday soon about your threats.” With that, I walk around the bar and see her leather jacket hanging off the back of her chair. I grab it, then look back at Will. “You’re gonna lose a customer, maybe two.”
He nods, and then I look over at Mandee to see a smile creeping up on her face.
Strength.
I walk out and hear her yell at him. “When you know why I’ve kept his father’s name a secret, you’ll be sorry you said that about him!”
“I’ll be sorry? You lied to me about Brandon being mine and I’ll be fucking sorry? You’re the sorry one, Juliana. You hitting the bottle hard again, or have you totally fucking lost your mind? Any man who knows he has a kid out there and gives fuck not, is a piece of shit.”
“Hey!” I yell from behind them, and they both look at me, her with disdain and him with a pained look. I assume it’s because of what I just heard.
I throw her jacket in her face. “You forgot to pay for your drink.”
“Oh, my God, you’re really fucking that?”
He steps toward her, and I step between him and a mistake he may make.
She laughs. “You fuck for tips?”
I have no idea why, but I clench my fist and jab her in the nose. She lunges toward me, grabbing my hair.
“You little bitch!”
“Phoenix, trust me; she isn’t worth it,” Gage says with a hint of amusement in his voice as he pulls me back. “Let go of her, Juliana, or I will ruin everything you think you have going on.”
She doesn’t, and I kick at her. God, it feels good, so fucking good. Then she falls back.
“You’re barred, bitch!” I call after her as Gage walks with me toward the bar’s entrance, holding me up.
“Put me down,” I insist.
“You gonna try to kick her ass again?”
“Try?” I huff as my feet touch the ground and I turn to look up at him.
“You don’t have to defend me. I’m a big boy, squirt.”
“I hate her for what—”
I stop when his long, thick finger covers my lips.
“Shh...”
I look in his eyes and see a twinge of sadness, so I simply nod. “Need a drink?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Good, let’s go.”
I open the bar and see everyone looking at me. I look back at Gage, and he winks. Then I realize I have his hand.
I start to let go when he grips it harder, then gives it a tug as he pulls me toward the dance floor.
“I don’t dance,” I tell him, trying to pull back.
“I do,” he says, pulling me close.
I hear a loud whistle and look toward the bar. Mandee is smiling at us. I roll my eyes at her, and she laughs and whistles loudly again.
Gage jerks me closer. “Dance with me.”
The music changes mid-song and Dierks Bentley’s “Black” comes on.
I look over at Mandee and shake my head, knowing she’s controlling the music.
I feel a finger on my cheek as he guides me to look back up at him.
“This is uncomfortable as hell, Gage,” I tell him honestly.
“Then let’s not talk about it.” He squints his eyes.
I know he’s talking about what I overheard outside and not that it may be awkward for me dancing in the middle of a nearly empty dance floor at my workplace.
I nod because, right now, if I were him, I would need a win. This man, who I know wants to tear me apart, has been torn apart himself.
Who does that? What man would not run from such a situation, from responsibility that is not really his, from such deception?
Gage Falcon.
“Stop looking at me like that,” he says, leaning down so we’re almost eyeball to eyeball.
I force a smile, and he cocks his head to the side.
“You just got sexier.”
He laughs out loud, a beautiful sound. Then he asks, “Is that even possible?” Which, of course, makes me laugh.
He pulls me tighter, and I allow myself to forget all about the forty or so eyes I know are looking in our direction.
He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of my pants, and I glance up at him. He slowly runs his fingers up under my shirt and just as slowly down my skin, giving me chills. His eyes narrow as he watches mine. I don’t want him to see just how much I want him, but he already knows.
I had never asked someone to fuck me before, never, until him.
I look down and see his chest rise as he takes in a deep breath. Then I lean my forehead against his chest as he leads this dance.
/> It takes only seconds to trust in the way he moves our bodies as I stay head to chest, smelling him, feeling him stroke my bare skin, and listening to the words that I swear I can hear him whisper to me.
“Just keep doing that, that thing you’re doing there, brush me with your hair, I swear I don’t know how long that I can last...”
The words, the beat, him being so close, nothing else matters but this moment. I am fully consumed with the promise he made to me.
I look up at him when the song ends, and when it begins again, he and I both smile.
“You better get back to work before I just fuck you right here.”
I should, I really should, but I don’t want to. Instead, I rest my forehead against his chest again, and we dance.
When the song ends, I don’t look up. I can’t. I want him.
“I’m going back to, um...”
“Work?”
His voice calls to me, and I look up.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
I bite my lip to stop from smiling. I have never had a man look at me the way he does. It’s sexy and scary, and God, how I love it.
“I’m gonna go outside and sit in the truck and take care of...” He casts his eyes down, and I feel my face heat up.
I look up. “Yes, you probably should.”
I watch him walk away, and then turn back to see them all looking at me. I almost feel embarrassed. Almost.
When I’m behind the bar, I step to the sink and start washing the pile of glasses, avoiding all their eyes.
“You like him?”
I look to my left and see Mandee.
I nod. “I do.”
“He likes you, too.”
I smile and shake my head. “Hard to trust that...you know...men.”
“I still think there are good ones out there. I mean, my dad hasn’t even threatened to fire you, and we saw out the window what happened.”
“You what?” I ask, shocked.
She smiles and nods. “She must have made you really mad.”
“She’s a bitch.”
“Is she one of his...dates?”
Mandee and I have discussed Gage Falcon, the sexiest man alive, as she referred to him, and she has told me every time he comes in that I deserve a man like him. When I asked her what she meant by “a man like him,” she told me someone strong enough to put up with me and keep coming back.
She doesn’t even know him, just what she has heard from me, and not all of it.
My take on him changed after the lap ride, but she doesn’t know about that, either. She certainly doesn’t know that I am falling for him hard. She doesn’t know what I overheard, and she doesn’t know that I fell harder for him at that moment.
“She’s his ex-wife,” I tell her.
Her mouth opens in an O.
I groan. “She’s super model hot.”
She points toward the juke box where “Girl Crush” is playing. “Ex for a reason. I bet she’s regretting it after getting a look at you.”
I stare in my reflection in the glass I’m holding. “I doubt that. She asked if I fucked for tips.”
“Because you’re Asian?” she asks seriously.
“What?” I can’t help laughing out loud.
“I mean...” She pauses, face turning bright red. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Still, I’m laughing when I hug her and tell her, “I know.”
The door opens, and a whole slew of guys walk in.
Mandee sighs. “Looks like the tourists are coming in.”
It’s a welcome distraction to what I know is waiting outside.
The twenty-foot oak bar is lined with guys, all with wandering eyes.
I look over at William and roll my eyes. He shakes his head, and then his eyes go to Mandee. He nods, and she smiles and nods back.
“What can I get for you?” I put on a smile as I approach the first fuck-boy with a snap back hat.
He smiles. “What do you suggest?”
“We don’t serve Monster,” I tell him, and Mandee giggles as she grabs an empty stein next to where I’m standing.
“Already had my Monster on the way here, babe. I could go for hours.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Go where, exactly?”
“Back to your place sounds good.”
“Her boyfriend would eat you alive, young man.”
I look over at the man who drives Gage crazy. Pete.
I swear that’s the most I have heard him say since I began working here, which almost overshadows the part about him calling Gage my boyfriend.
“I’d guarantee her a better time than he could give her.” Now the fuck-boy is looking at me like I’m a challenge.
“You want a drink or what?” I give him all the attitude I have for pieces of shit like him.
“I want to drink from you,” he says, licking his lips.
I walk away before I flip, and I have William threatening to fire me...again.
“What can I get for you?” I ask the next fuck-boy.
“Hey, bartender, I was talking to you!” comes from a few feet down.
“Watch the way you talk to her,” Pete pipes up.
“Well, hell.” I laugh under my breath.
“Draft,” the guy says.
“Which flavor?” I ask, pointing at the taps on the wall.
“You pick for me?”
“You going for cheap or taste?”
“Is there one that tastes good and is cheap?”
I look back at him, and he shrugs.
“Just asking.”
“Least expensive is five bucks, Miller Lite. Stillwater on fleek is nine bucks and a favorite.”
“I’ll try it, then work my way back to Miller Lite.”
I pour his drink and walk it over to him.
“That guy’s a dick,” he says, nodding toward the asshole I walked away from. “I’m Blue.” He holds out his hand to shake mine. Odd, but okay.
I shake his hand. “Nice to meet you, Blue. Is that a nickname?”
He shakes his head no. “Apparently, my parents wanted to raise a fighter.”
“So, did they?” I laugh, taking the ten from him.
He smiles. “Can hold my own, I suppose.”
I hand him back his buck, and he shakes his head. Then I see his eyes look down the bar.
“Is that Mandee?”
I nod, immediately becoming defensive. “Why?”
“Grew up here. Went to school with her.”
“Were you a dick to her?” I ask, getting in his face a bit.
“Nah.” He smiles. “Everyone loved Mandee. Homecoming queen, you know.”
No, I didn’t know that.
“She’s changed.”
“Haven’t we all?” I ask, walking toward the next guy. “What will you have?”
“Same as Blue,” he says.
“All right.”
Once they are all served, I feel a little less stressed.
I see Blue watch Mandee, who is talking to her dad, so she notices nothing.
Homecoming queen? Wow, never would have guessed.
When I hear the music change from country to rock, I mentally shake my head. The locals aren’t going to like this much. I learned that quickly. I know from experience they won’t say anything to them, but to me, they will.
“Crazy Bitch” starts playing, and I have to bite my cheek because I’m pretty sure William is going to flip shit.
He looks at me, and I shrug. Then he shakes his head, whispers something in Mandee’s ear, and then walks back to his office.
“Can I get a beer?”
It’s fuck-boy number one.
“Still out of Monster, so what will you have?”
“Played this song for you. I can tell you’ll be a fucking treat in bed.”
“You’re two seconds from getting thrown out,” I warn. “You want a beer, tell me which one. You want to be an idiot, there’s the door.” I point toward the exit.
“Same
shit Blue got.”
Finally, I think as I turn around to grab a glass.
Chapter Eleven
Crazy Bitch
Gage
Phoenix, she numbed my anger. Like that song said, she made my world go black.
I grab my phone and google the song “Black.” The version she and I danced to twice was by Dierks Bentley. The song, three minutes and thirty-one seconds. I hit iTunes and buy it.
Why the hell am I buying country music? Because life away from here doesn’t give you the same peace as this place does.
For seven minutes and two seconds, I felt that hurt numbing, clean air breathing, non-constraining feeling that Falcon’s Landing brings me, but wrapped around her.
Fuck, it felt good.
Too damn good.
Could go away in the blink of an eye.
I lean back and close my eyes. I’m fucking tired. So damn tired of all the shit going on in my life. I know damn well I need to be here, a place Brand, my boy, and I come to all the damn time. A place Mags rode up with me in this old truck, her eyes misting over.
“This is home, my boy,” she said. “This is home.”
She had her surgery and was in pain, but I have never seen her so fucking stubborn in the many, many years I have known her. It’s unnerving. Felt wrong. And Mags is all that is right.
She is my constant and the only peace I have ever met amidst the chaos...until tonight. She taught me to cook what I killed so that I didn’t get angry at myself. She loves the damn garden and taught me to love to play in the dirt because growing something from dirt is miraculous. When I wanted to crawl out of my own skin as a kid, she would take me for long walks, and we would talk about the different types of trees. She loves nature, and she loves everything that comes from it. She also taught me how to make jam and jelly. She did that and so much more.
Now...Now she baulked coming here, a place that is home to her.
Juliana. What the fuck is she doing here? Christ, I have given her far more than she deserves, and here she is, trying to take more. She wants to break me. Even fucked with Phoenix, and I have no clue why. Our marriage was a joke. She shopped and read magazines, not even books because they would take too much time and personal investment. We fucked twice a week. Shit was scheduled. Fucking her was work. Bitch was colder than the Arctic. My fucking hand was warmer. Hell, my hand was better than her pussy, and I had a lot to compare it to.