by Katie Tsang
In the episode of where they went to Shark Planet, which was run by the Evil Shark Lord, he almost tricked Spaceman Jack into being his dinner!
Doesn’t everyone know that sharks are evil masterminds? How else do you think they have survived for MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of years?
The sharks were swimming faster now—all of them except the big one. The big one just kept moving in slow circles, going slower every time it passed me, Zoe, and Bernard. It was looking at me. I was sure of it. Every time it swam by, its eyes fixed on me. Even Bernard said, “Why is that shark looking at us?”
“It’s not looking at us,” scoffed Zoe. “How can you even tell what it’s looking at? Its eyes are on either side of its head! It’s looking everywhere.”
“Well, if it is looking everywhere then that also means it is looking at us,” said Bernard. “So I’m technically right.”
“The shark isn’t looking at us,” repeated Zoe.
And then, as if the shark was LISTENING (which it probably was, because, as I said, they are SNEAKY MASTERMINDS), it slowly turned and came right at us!
We all took a step back from the tank. Even Zoe.
“Now can you admit it is looking at us?” I whispered.
“What . . . what is it doing?” asked Bernard. He sounded a little shaky. “Excuse me! Excuse me! Is that normal shark behavior?”
Betty came over. “Oh, don’t you worry! That shark there is just CRAZY CHARLIE. He’s our biggest and moodiest shark. He’s also the most vain. Crazy Charlie just likes to show off his teeth before he eats. He’s very proud of them.”
“Why . . . why is he called Crazy Charlie?” I asked. This all seemed highly dangerous.
Betty shrugged. “Oh, Charlie is just a bit . . . unpredictable. He follows his own schedule and is a really picky eater. Sometimes he doesn’t eat at all during feeding time. And other times, he’ll scare the rest of the sharks away and eat all the fish himself!”
By this time Crazy Charlie had passed us and was making another round. But still, every time he swam by, I was sure he was looking STRAIGHT AT ME—staring me down and sizing me up.
“Look!” said Regina, pointing upward. We all looked up and saw chunks of . . . something falling from the top of the tank.
“What IS that?” asked Bernard.
“Special shark food,” said Betty. “Frozen fish with multivitamins stuffed inside them! Keeps the sharks healthy and strong.”
“Frozen fish?” asked Zoe. “LIKE FISH STICKS?”
“Not quite,” said our guide with a smile. “But close. I bet our sharks would like fish sticks, too.”
“Told you that you could get fish sticks at an aquarium,” I whispered to Zoe.
Betty walked away to answer someone else’s question. All of the sharks were swimming to the top of the tank to get their lunch.
All of them but one. CRAZY CHARLIE. He was still swimming in slow circles, coming closer and closer to us with every loop.
“He reminds me of something,” I said, watching him. “It’s as if he’s mind-controlling all the other sharks!”
“Sharks don’t have mind control,” said Zoe.
“Some do! Like the Evil Shark Lord on ,” I said. “He controls ALL the sharks on Shark Planet.”
“Sam, we’ve been over this. Just because something happens on , does not mean it’s real,” said Zoe.
“It might be,” I said.
“Maybe, but you don’t have any proof,” said Zoe.
I pointed at the giant, crazy shark swimming in front of us. “Proof! Doesn’t that shark look EXACTLY like the Evil Shark Lord? They have got to be related.”
“Related HOW?” asked Bernard, who always wants to know the details.
“I don’t know!” I shrugged. “They are probably cousins or something.”
Everyone else in the class was watching the sharks eating their special shark lunch—everyone but me, Zoe, and Bernard, who couldn’t take our eyes off CRAZY CHARLIE.
He couldn’t take his eyes off us either.
“I guess he is acting kind of weird,” admitted Zoe.
“There has to be a scientific explanation,” said Bernard.
“Yes, there is! HE WANTS TO EAT US,” I said.
“Even if he wanted to eat us, he wouldn’t be able to,” said Bernard, logical as always. “I mean, unless he JUMPED OUT of the tank or broke the glass. And that’s impossible.”
Just then, CRAZY CHARLIE came around on another loop. But this time he didn’t keep on swimming past. He turned toward us, as he had before, opened his mouth, and CHARGED AT ME. I thought I was going to die. It was like my encounter with the
Ghost King all over again.
“Argh!” I said, falling backward.
“Argh!” said Zoe and Bernard because I’d fallen on them.
“ARGH!” said everyone else who had just seen CRAZY CHARLIE ram his head into the glass.
I closed my eyes, waiting for the glass to shatter, the water to pour over us, and the end to come.
It didn’t.
Instead . . .
Laughter.
I opened my eyes and saw Ralph Philip Zinkerman standing over me, pointing and LAUGHING. The tank was still intact behind him, and CRAZY CHARLIE was nowhere to be seen.
Ralph laughed.
Oh no. NOT this again.
At least I hadn’t wet my pants like I did at the Space Museum.
It only happened once. And I was obviously getting braver by the day.
I thought everyone was going to make fun of me the next day at school, but luckily there was something happening to distract them all.
“Did you hear?” Zoe whispered to me from her desk. “Ralph and Regina are having a HUGE birthday party at the beach.”
“At the beach?” I couldn’t imagine why anyone would want to have a party at a beach, home of ALL THE SHARKS.
Especially after what had happened at the aquarium. Hadn’t everyone else seen CRAZY CHARLIE try to eat me?
“Yes! They are passing out invitations today!”
I frowned. “Ralph doesn’t like me at all,” I said. “There’s NO WAY I’m invited to his birthday.”
“Don’t be silly! They are inviting the WHOLE class! I heard Regina telling someone.”
I wondered if they were going to invite the whole class but me. I wouldn’t put it past Ralph. I had to say something to show that I didn’t care if I was invited or not.
Even though I did care. I didn’t want to miss a party that the whole class was going to.
“Well, even if they invited me, I don’t think it would be a good idea to go, because of the sharks and everything,” I said.
Zoe shook her head. “Sharks don’t go on land, Sam. You can go to the beach without going in the water.”
“Zoe, did you even watch that Shark Planet episode of ? Sharks are VERY sneaky! You should know this after what happened yesterday.”
“Hey, Sam,” someone said right in front of my desk. It was Regina. She was holding a basket full of envelopes.
“The weekend after next is mine and Ralph’s birthday party. I hope you can come!” She held out an envelope with MY NAME on it. “And you, too, Zoe!”
Zoe and I took our invites. On the front was a friendly cartoon shark holding out a cake.
Come make a splash at Ralph and Regina’s beach birthday bash!
12–5 pm
Big Wave Beach
Lunch and cake
will be served
Don’t forget your swimsuit!
“Thanks, Regina!” I said. “This looks PRETTY . . . COOL.”
“So you can come?”
“Um,” I said. “I’ll have to ask my mom.” I didn’t want to commit to anything yet. Especially NOT to something that was clearly so dangerous.
“Well, I hope she says yes! It’s going to be a really fun party,” said Regina. “I have to give these out to everyone else.” She turned and went to the next row of desks.
“See.” I held up t
he invitation to Zoe. “There’s even a shark on the invitation. Why would anyone want to have a birthday party with a shark?”
Zoe just rolled her eyes. “Sam, we can’t miss this birthday party! It is going to be the BEST! At their birthday last year they had a magician, a piñata, and a cake that was TALLER THAN ME!”
I shrugged. “That sounds okay, I guess.” I’ve never had a big birthday party. I always celebrate by having special birthday noodles with my family. Na-Na has an ancient family recipe that is delicious. The best noodles ever! And my mom makes me my favorite dessert, Chinese egg tarts.
I started thinking that maybe this year I’d invite Zoe and Bernard over. I knew I couldn’t ever invite the ENTIRE CLASS. But if I could, I’d have a big –themed party! It would be the best birthday party ever.
Part of me, a really tiny part, was a little jealous that Ralph and Regina got to have such a big party. I’d never even known I wanted to have my own BIG BIRTHDAY PARTY until right this minute.
“Well, let’s discuss it with Bernard,” said Zoe.
At recess, we met Bernard at our usual spot by the fence.
“Did you get an invitation to Ralph and Regina’s birthday party?” I asked.
Bernard nodded, but he looked glum.
“What’s wrong?” asked Zoe.
“It’s at the beach,” Bernard said.
Zoe threw her hands up in the air. “Not you, too! What’s wrong with the beach? The beach is great! I LOVE THE BEACH!”
“What’s wrong with the beach? What ISN’T wrong with the beach?” I held out my hand to count.
“Definitely waves,” said Bernard, who looked paler than ever.
“I could go on and on,” I said, “but WHO has time for that?”
“So we aren’t going?” said Bernard hopefully.
“Oh no,” I said grimly, “we have to go. Otherwise everyone will think we’re scared.”
“You ARE scared,” said Zoe.
I glared at her. “I’m NOT.”
“If you say so,” she said. “I’m definitely NOT scared. Like I said, I love the beach! We’ll have fun.”
Bernard buried his face in his hands. “I’ve never even been to the beach!” he moaned.
“Then we have to go!” said Zoe. “It’s fun. I promise!”
“We can’t just go willy-nilly,” I said. It’s a phrase I learned from . Captain Jane always says it when Spaceman Jack does something without thinking. “WE NEED A PLAN!” I did what I always do when faced with a problem. I thought about the last episode of I’d seen. The Evil Shark Lord had returned, and the crew knew they had to battle him in his home turf—UNDERWATER! To prepare for it, Captain Jane took TUBS to a safer water planet, and they practiced their space-ninja moves underwater while wearing their special underwater spacesuits. We needed our own test run. “I’ll ask Na-Na to take us to the beach this weekend,” I said. “So we can be prepared.”
“PERFECT!” said Zoe.
“There’s one catch though,” I said.
“What is it?” asked Bernard.
“You know Na-Na—she’ll take us to the beach, but only if we weed her garden.”
“Not again!” said Bernard.
As I suspected, we were able to bribe Na-Na to take us to the beach in exchange for weeding her garden.8
What I WASN’T expecting was for my little sister, Lucy, to want to come, too. And for Na-Na to let her. Lucy didn’t even have to help weed the garden!
“This isn’t just a fun trip to the beach! This is a VERY serious reconnaissance mission!” I said as I stuffed my backpack full of snacks in the kitchen.
Lucy scrunched up her face. “What’s rec-onn-aiss-ance?” she asked.
“It’s when you go on a SECRET MISSION to gather information so your enemies don’t catch you unawares!” I said, puffing out my chest a little bit. I’d learned it on . Even Bernard hadn’t known what it meant.
Lucy laughed. “Sam, you DON’T have any enemies!”
“You are just too little to understand,” I said, patting her on the head.
Lucy rolled her eyes and picked up her cat, Butterbutt. “You’re so weird,” she said. “And I’m coming on the SPY MISSION, too. I’m a super spy!” She twirled in a circle, making Butterbutt yowl.
I hate to admit it, but she was right. After all, she had been the one who’d helped us figure out where my snake, Fang, was hiding when he went missing.
“Fine,” I said. “But it’s MY secret mission! You are just a junior spy. You have to do what we say.”
Lucy laughed again. “I never do what you say,” she said.
It’s true. She might be the little sister, but Lucy doesn’t let ANYONE boss her around.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me that the sand would be so scratchy?” asked Bernard, hopping back and forth.
“Well, we can go and rinse it off in the water,” said Zoe, pointing at the blue ocean up ahead of us.
“NO !” Bernard and I said at the same time.
“That’s the whole reason we’re here, isn’t it?” asked Zoe. “To get familiar with this beach so we’re prepared for the party?”
“We can do that without GOING IN THE WATER,” I said. I reached into my backpack and pulled out a pair of binoculars. “We’ve got everything we need right here.”
“Nobody is going anywhere until you all have sunscreen on,” said Na-Na. She was putting up our BIG UMBRELLA. “Now get over here and hold still.” Na-Na always makes sure we wear sunscreen. After she had slathered us in it, we sat in the sand and plotted.
“Sand is so . . . SANDY,” said Bernard with a frown.
Considering he’s the smartest kid in our class, I was surprised by how not-smart he was being about the beach. He was really out of his element.
“Duh,” said Zoe. She was wearing sunglasses and building a sandcastle. She seemed less interested in the spy mission. “When do we get lunch?”
“You both need to focus!” I said. “Sure, everything is fine with just us here, but imagine what it will be like next week with everyone. ANYTHING could happen! We need to make sure we’re prepared for the worst.”
“Fine,” said Zoe. She was just finishing the top of her sandcastle. “And how do you suggest we prepare ourselves?”
“Excellent question,” I said. “I was hoping someone would ask. First, before we can properly prepare, we need to know EXACTLY what we’re dealing with here. My reconnaissance so far has told me that:
1. This beach is BIG. We need to make sure we stay close. Someone could easily get lost.
2. It’s WINDY here. People seem to have a hard time keeping hats on their heads. Especially Na-Na.
3. Sun. There is a LOT of sun.
4. The ocean is even bigger than the beach. It is going to be VERY hard to spot a shark. Even with my trusty binoculars.”
“So what is our plan?” asked Zoe.
“I haven’t got that far yet,” I admitted. “I was hoping one of you would have a good idea based on ALL of the information we have.”
“I think we need to test the water,” said Zoe, then she paused. “Not like when Spaceman Jack says it and means they need to try something new. I think we need to ACTUALLY get into the water.”
“Well, technically that would also mean trying something new, so Spaceman Jack’s use of it would still work,” I said. I always defend Spaceman Jack.
“I don’t think we should go in the water,” said Bernard.
“Bernard, you have to know there aren’t any sharks!” said Zoe.
“What do you mean there aren’t any sharks!” I replied. “OF COURSE THERE ARE SHARKS! Where do you think they live? THE MOON? Sharks live in the ocean! We shouldn’t bother them. They don’t come into our houses, so we shouldn’t go into theirs.”
Zoe frowned. “What about on that one episode of ? Weren’t there sharks on the moon?”
“I see what you are trying to do here,” I said. “But it isn’t going to work. I’m NOT getting in that water.”
“Butterbutt! Come back here!” cried Lucy, running after the blur of fur.
“Butterbutt? You brought BUTTERBUTT to the beach?” I said, but Lucy was already, too far away to hear me, racing down the beach . . . toward the water.
“Sam! Go and get your sister! And that stupid cat!” yelled Na-Na.
“COME ON, Sam!” said Zoe, jumping up and grabbing my hand. “We have to save Butterbutt!”
“I’ll stay here!” said Bernard. “You guys go!”
I wanted to ask him why he wasn’t coming with us, but there wasn’t time. Zoe was pulling me after her.
“Faster, Sam!” she said. Zoe is the fastest person in our WHOLE class, so it was impossible to keep up with her, but I did my best.
The closer we got to the water, the more nervous I felt.
“Can Lucy swim?” Zoe yelled over her shoulder at me.
“I think so!” I said, but I wasn’t totally sure. She was wearing blow-up armbands. I suddenly felt like the worst big brother in the world. How did I NOT know if my little sister could swim? That was the kind of thing I should have known. I should have checked before we came to the beach! I ran faster, sweat pouring down my forehead and into my eyes.
“Where’d she go?” I shouted at Zoe. “I can’t see her!”
“She’s gone around those rocks!” cried Zoe. “Come on! Faster!”
I don’t think I’ve ever run SO fast. I wasn’t scared of sharks anymore. I wasn’t scared of anything. I had to catch up to my sister.
And her stupid cat.
Zoe went around the rocks, and I chased after her. Just ahead I could see Lucy in her red swimsuit and pigtails, and she was
about to get in the water!
AND THERE WAS A SHARK FIN RIGHT IN FRON T OF HER!
“NO, LUCY!” I screamed as loud as I could, and I ran even faster. So fast that I even passed Zoe.