by Katie Tsang
Soon! We were going to have to figure out a way to barricade ourselves in my room.
“Sam, can I use the bathroom now?” asked Bernard.
“Fine,” I said. Nobody was respecting the quarantine. “But be quick!”
“Sam, I don’t really want to sleep in the same room as Fang,” said Zoe. “I don’t know if this is a good idea.”
“Fang is an EXCELLENT roommate,” I said. “He doesn’t snore or anything.”
“But what if he gets out again? You know I like Fang, but I don’t want to wake up with him on my PILLOW!”
I sighed and sat down in the middle of all our snacks. “This plan is never going to work, is it?”
“You guys are boring,” said Lucy. “I’m going to play in my room.”
“Take Butterbutt with you!” I said.
Bernard came back into my room. “Sam, I’ve been thinking. I don’t have ANY pajamas, and I don’t think I’ll fit into yours,” he said, sitting down on the bag of prawn crackers. They crunched loudly under him. “Whoops,” he said. “Can we get some more of these? Prawn crackers are pretty good.”
“Are pajamas and prawn crackers all you can think about?” I yelled. “This is SERIOUS business!”
“How long do we have to stay in here again?” asked Zoe.
“Just until the party is finished,” I said. This was getting exhausting.
“That is a WHOLE WEEK away!”
“I know,” I said. I was starting to seriously doubt this plan.
“Zoe! Your dad is here!” my mom shouted up the stairs.
“QUICK! Close my door!” I said. “We have to block it.”
“But, Sam, I want to sleep in my own bed,” said Zoe.
“Me, too,” said Bernard.
“But what are we going to do about Ralph and Regina’s party?” I asked.
Zoe looked at me. “I’m sorry, Sam. I think we’re going to have to go to the party. But we can go without going in the water.”
“But what if something happens and we HAVE to get in the water?” I said. “We have to be prepared for the unexpected!” I learned that from Spaceman Jack.
“I can’t go in the water!” said Bernard, sounding panicked. “I can’t swim!”
“Hmmm,” I said. “That IS a problem. Because then the shark will DEFINITELY get you.”
“I have an idea!” said Zoe, standing up and pointing in the air.
Bernard and I looked at her.
“Bernard, you are going to learn how to swim,” she said.
It was so obvious! Why hadn’t I thought of that?
“But that doesn’t fix our shark problem,” I said.
Zoe crouched down and put her face close to mine. “Sam, did we or didn’t we defeat the Ghost King?”
“WE DID!” I said.
“We did?” said Bernard. “I thought it wasn’t really the Ghost King . . .”
“SHH! Listen to Zoe!” I said. I could tell she was about to say something GENIUS. It was as if she was Captain Jane and I was Spaceman Jack and Bernard was . . . well, Bernard was like Five-Eyed Frank, their alien best friend. I bet Five-Eyed Frank doesn’t know how to swim either.
“If we can defeat the Ghost King, we can defeat a shark! Are you with me?” asked Zoe.
“We can!” I said, standing up, too. “Even if it is the Evil Shark Lord! Or his cousin Crazy Charlie! We are the , and we can do anything!”
“But how am I going to learn to SWIM?” asked Bernard. “That is our biggest problem!”
“Well, technically that is your biggest problem,” I said.
“Sam!” said Zoe.
“Sorry,” I said. “Don’t worry, Bernard, we’ll think of something.”
“I’ve already thought of something,” said Zoe proudly. Really, she’s just like Captain Jane!
“Tomorrow we’re going to the pool,” she said.
“And then what?” asked Bernard.
“My sister is on the swimming team. She can teach you how to swim.”
“Your SISTER?” asked Bernard. “But she’s . . . she’s . . .”
“She’s in HIGH SCHOOL,” I said. High school is like another world! It was as if Zoe had said a Ziggy-monster12 could teach Bernard to swim.
“I’ll ask her,” said Zoe. “Mallory’s nice. Sort of. If she’s in a good mood.”
“What if she’s not in a GOOD mood? Am I going to drown?” asked Bernard.
“We’ll find out!” I said. Just then my mom opened the door.
“Come on, Zoe,” she said. “Your dad is waiting.”
“Bye, guys,” said Zoe. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” She ran through the door after my mom.
“This is a horrible plan,” moaned Bernard.
“A horrible plan is better than no plan,” I said. I learned that from .
11 Wu Gabo is my full Chinese name. My mom always calls me by my Chinese name when she thinks I’m up to no good.
12 Ziggy-monsters are VERY dangerous water monsters that live on water planets in the ’ universe.
“I am NOT wearing the armbands like a baby,” said Bernard, stomping his foot.
“Bernard, you have to wear them!” said Zoe. “It’s the rule.”
It was the next day, and we were at the outdoor pool. The sun was hot, the pool was wet. Everything was going to plan. Except Bernard.
“But everyone will laugh at me!” said Bernard.
“We won’t,” I said. “I promise.” Because that is what good friends do. They don’t laugh at their friends even when they look a little bit silly. Like he didn’t laugh at me when I had my INCIDENT at the Space Museum.
“Ralph probably would laugh at you,” said Zoe, “but he’s not here.”
“Okay, FINE,” said Bernard, pulling the armbands on. “I feel ridiculous.”
“You look ridiculous,” I said cheerfully. “But think of it like your underwater spacesuit!”
“I thought the reason for these was to make sure I DIDN’T go underwater!” said Bernard.
As usual, Bernard made a good point.
Just then, Zoe’s sister, Mallory, walked up. She was wearing big red sunglasses and had a whistle around her neck. “Are you ready to go?” she asked. “I’ve got lifeguard duty later, so if we are going to do this, we’ve got to do it now.”
Bernard gulped. “Right now?”
“Right now,” said Mallory. Then she smiled. “You’ll be fine. I bet you’ll even have fun. And if you don’t, I’ll take you guys for ice cream after.”
“WHOA, WHOA,” I said. Now that ice cream was involved, the stakes were raised. “What if he DOES have fun? Do we still get ice cream?”
Mallory rolled her eyes. “We’ll see. But nobody is getting any ice cream unless this kid gets in the pool, pronto.”
“Come on, Bernard!” I said. I really wanted some ice cream. As I said, it was a hot day.
He still looked nervous.
I knew what would help. I leaned toward him and whispered the ’ motto: “Do it for the universe.”
Bernard took a deep breath. “For the universe!” he shouted.
But then he just stood there, staring at me. His eyes looked HUGE behind his swimming goggles.
“For the universe!” I said again. “You can do it!” I went over and poked him in the side because he was as still as a statue. “Bernard? You okay?” I asked.
“I just need a minute,” he said. And then he took another deep breath.
“For the universe!” he roared.
And then, before I realized what he was doing, he ran toward the pool and jumped in!
“Well, that’s one way to start a swimming lesson,” said Mallory, walking to the side of the pool and watching Bernard flounder.
“MALLORY! GO AND SAVE BERNARD!” Zoe yelled. “ARE YOU A LIFEGUARD OR WHAT?”
“He’s fine,” said Mallory. “Look.”
And it was true! Bernard had popped right back up because of the armbands.
“These are great!” he said, gesturin
g at his armbands. “It’s as if I’M FLYING!”
“I told you they were like your spacesuit!” I said, giving him a thumbs up.
“Okay, you guys, I’m going to show Mr. Underwater Spacesuit how to actually swim, so why don’t you go and play over there? I don’t want you watching and making him nervous.”
We nodded.
“Hey, Mallory?” asked Zoe.
“Yeah, Z?”
“Thanks.”
Mallory smiled and tugged on Zoe’s ponytail.
“Does this mean we get ice cream?” I asked.
“Get out of here,” Mallory said, but she was still smiling. So I thought our chances of getting ice cream were pretty good.
While Mallory taught Bernard some swimming basics—“Kick your legs! No, not like that, like this! Keep your head up!”—Zoe and I got in the other side of the shallow end of the pool.
I’m a pretty good swimmer, but not the best. Zoe is an EXCELLENT swimmer. She can do all the strokes and even knows how to dive. I mostly just doggy-paddle.
“I’m going to jump off the diving board,” she said, pointing at it.
It was SO HIGH up in the air that I had thought it was a plane flying overhead. “Want to come?”
I squinted upward. “You know what,” I said, “I think it is best if we stay in the water.”
Zoe frowned. “Why? I LOVE the diving board!”
“Because we should stay nearby in case Bernard needs us,” I said. “Part of being a team.”
“But my sister is with Bernard,” said Zoe. “He’ll be fine.”
“It’s all about moral support,” I said. And then I lowered my voice. “Besides, what if the Evil Shark Lord gets in the pool and we have to save Bernard?”
“What?” shrieked Zoe. “The Evil Shark Lord isn’t going to get in the pool.”
I pointed at a dark, shadowy corner of the pool.
The darkest part of the deep end.
“How can you be so sure? Do wereally know what is in the deep end?” I said.
“Sam! Sharks don’t swim in pools,” scoffed Zoe. “Even I know that.”
“Zoe, don’t you remember when Fang got in the pipes in my house?”
“Of course I remember!”
“Well, if snakes can get in pipes, then surely sharks can get in pools,” I said. I wished Bernard was with us. He’d see the logic in my thoughts. He always does.
“There isn’t a shark in the pool!” said Zoe, splashing me.
“Maybe not now,” I said. “But there could be. It’s possible.”
“I don’t think so,” said Zoe.
“Well, would you swim in the deep end? In the DARK part of the deep end?”
Zoe squirmed. “Well, when I jump off the diving board, I land in the deep end.”
“But not the REAL deep end,” I said, pointing again at the far, dark corner of the pool where nobody ever goes. It’s where pool toys inevitably end up, but once they get sucked over there, we never get them back. “And you want to know why?” I went on.
Zoe sighed. “Tell me why,” she said.
“Because you KNOW that there might be a shark there,” I said smugly.
Just then, I felt a sharp BITE on my leg!
“Argh!
!! IT’S THE SHARK! IT CAME IN THE SHALLOW END!” !!!
I flailed in the pool, splashing everywhere, water going in my nose and in my eyes.
“Calm down—it’s just my brother Toby,” said Zoe.
Toby popped up in the water next to me, grinning.
“Gotcha!” he said, pinching his fingers together like crab claws. Then he laughed. “Sam! You yelled so loudly!”
“I did not,” I said. “I was . . . laughing. I’m very ticklish.”
Toby giggled and pinched me again.
“OW!” I said.
“Toby! Stop that,” said Zoe.
But Toby just kept laughing. “Pinch, pinch!” he said.
I was so relieved that it wasn’t an actual shark, I didn’t even mind.
We played in the pool with Toby until Bernard finished his swimming lesson with Mallory. I couldn’t believe it when he actually swam over to us!13
“Bernard!” I said. “You’re a natural!”
“I know!” he said. “Look at me kick!”
Zoe and I watched Bernard kick for a few seconds and applauded when he was done.
“So . . . when do you take the armbands off?” asked Zoe.
Bernard looked horrified. “Take them OFF?”
“Well, yeah—you are going to take them off, right?”
“Not if I don’t have to! Why would I take them off? Look what I can do in them!” He rolled over on to his back and floated.
“Easy-peasy!” he said.
“I can do that, too,” said Zoe. “Without armbands.” And then she floated on her back!
“Show-offs,” I muttered, because I definitely couldn’t float on my back.
“Bernard was great today,” said Mallory. “You guys should be really proud of him.”
“Does this mean we get ice cream?” I asked.
“You get ice cream,” said Mallory.
“YAY!” said Zoe, turning and doing a somersault underwater.
“Cool!” said Bernard. Then he looked at Mallory. “Can you teach me how to do that next time?”
Mallory laughed. “Look at you wanting to learn how to do things underwater. You’ll be a champion swimmer in no time.”
“When you say ‘no time’,” I said, tapping her on the shoulder, “how much time do you actually mean? Because we need Bernard to be able to swim by Saturday.”
“He still needs a few more lessons,” said Mallory. “But we’ll see where he is by the end of the week. And worst case, he can always wear his armbands . . .”
“You mean my UNDERWATER SPACESUIT,” interrupted Bernard.
“Exactly. You’ll have your Underwater Spacesuit if you need it,” she said. “Now come on, let’s go and get ice cream. You’ve earned it.”
13 He still had his armbands on, so technically it was more of a float-swim—but I was still impressed.
The next day at school, we met at our usual spot by the fence.
“Since Bernard can nearly swim now, we can go to the party!” said Zoe. “I’m SO excited.”
“Hmm . . .” I said.
“What’s wrong?” said Zoe.
“Nothing is wrong . . . but I’ve been thinking,” I said, walking in a circle. Spaceman Jack always walks in a circle when he is trying to solve a problem. “I’m not so sure we should go.”
“But why?” asked Zoe. “Remember the piñata! And the cake.”
“And the SHARKS!” I said, my voice squeaking just a tiny bit.
“You said we could outswim the sharks,” said Bernard, munching on a carrot stick. “That was why I learned to swim.”
“You did say that,” said Zoe, frowning at me.
“Well, I might have been wrong,” I admitted. “Seriously, THINK about it. Zoe could probably outswim a shark because she’s so fast—”
“Thanks, Sam,” said Zoe.
“But Bernard and I have no chance! No offense, Bernard.”
“So what are you saying?” asked Zoe.
“We need to think of another reason why we can’t go to the party. It is just too dangerous!”
Zoe sighed. “Fine,” she said. “If you really, really don’t want to go, we won’t go. But we need a good reason.”
“Of course I want to go,” I said. “But we just can’t!”
“Well, what are we going to tell everyone?” asked Zoe.
“We could say we have chicken pox.” asked Bernard.
“Hmm. Not a bad thought,” I said.
“We could even draw chicken pox spots on OURSELVES!” said Bernard, getting more into the idea.
“I’ve already had chicken pox,” said Zoe. “And I got it from Regina, so she’ll know I’m not telling the truth.”
“Well, maybe you got it again!” sa
id Bernard.
“Everyone knows you only get chicken pox once,” said Zoe. “You should know that, Bernard. You’re supposed to know EVERYTHING!”
Bernard glowered. “I’m not a chicken pox expert,” he said. “And I still think it is a good plan.”
“Zoe’s got a point,” I said. “And besides, my mom would be furious if I drew chicken pox all over myself. Remember how mad she got when we drew tattoos on each other?”
“We didn’t know it was permanent marker!” said Zoe.
“Mine didn’t come off for weeks!” said Bernard. Then he rolled up his sleeve and looked at his arm, as if his tattoo might still be there.
“Anyway,” I said, “fake chicken pox isn’t an option. But it was a good idea.” Captain Jane always listens to all of the crew’s ideas, no matter how bad they might be. So I tried to do that, too. “Any other thoughts?” I asked.
Just then, Ralph came sauntering over. Wearing his bow tie, as usual.
“I heard you babies were too scared to come to our party,” he said with a snort. “You weren’t even really invited, so I don’t care.”
“What do you mean we weren’t invited? I have the invitation right here!” said Bernard, whipping out the invite from his pocket.
“Yeah!” I said. “We’re DEFINITELY invited to your party.”
“Of course you are,” said a softer voice. It was Regina. She’d walked up behind us without me noticing. “We want you three to come. You’ll make it more fun!” She smiled at us, and even though I was mad at Ralph, I smiled back at her. So did Bernard and Zoe.
“Thanks,” said Zoe.
“I wouldn’t have invited you, but Regina said we had to,” said Ralph. “Ugh. She’s so nice like that.”
“I invited them because I wanted to,” said Regina, elbowing Ralph in the side. “Don’t you remember that they caught a GHOST? I want ghost hunters at our party!”
“Yep, we definitely one hundred percent caught a ghost,” I said.
“Sort of,” said Bernard. I stepped in front of him.