Her Beating Hart

by J. L. Ostle

  Yeah, I’m not going to forget about their super hearing anytime soon.

  I walk around the room, and when I spot the fridge, I open it up and see bags of blood and bottle of water.

  That’s a good combination, I giggle to myself, shaking my head.

  I am looking at some of the paintwork on the walls when a man in his early twenties walks in. He is quite attractive with short brown hair, brown eyes. I swear I need to learn who is a vampire and who isn’t.

  Can’t they wear a sign saying vampire if they are?

  “Hi, I’m Sean. I am one of the roadies here, and I am here to take you to the band.” He gives me a smile.

  “They said they were going to get me.” I may be paranoid, but after Slate mentioning the council, I’m not taking any chances.

  I watch my movies; it’s always the naïve innocent girl who sees good in everyone that gets taken.

  “They are running late and told me to get you. Here’s my identification.” He passes me his badge, but that can be easily faked. I have never seen roadie badges before, so I wouldn’t know if it’s real or not.

  “I think I’ll stay here until they come.”

  “I’m not going to hurt you,” he says sincerely. I bet he is a good guy, but hell no.

  “I don’t care; I’m staying put.” I sit on the couch, crossing my arms and legs. I may be acting like a stubborn child, but I don’t care.

  “Come on, please. They will kill me if I don’t bring you.”

  “I will tell them if they ask, but I’m not moving; you will have to move this couch with me on it or force me.” The guy sighs. “Slate, Rush, Caspian, Zeke,” I call out. Soon, the door opens, and they are clapping.

  “I told you she wouldn’t move; you owe me a hundred bucks,” Zeke claps Rush’s shoulder, laughing.

  “I should have known she would be stubborn,” Rush replies.

  “You mean to say this was a test?” I ask, standing up.

  “We had to see if you would go with someone who looks all sweet and innocent. Thanks, Sean, you did good.” Slate thanks the guy and Sean gives me a wave before leaving.

  “What would you have done if I had gone with him?”

  “Gave you a good telling off,” Rush answers me.

  “You guys, I can look after myself; I’m not stupid.” I walk over to each of them, pushing them. “I watch movies, and I know never to go anywhere with a stranger. Plus, he looked too nice.”

  “Well, you did good. Now, let’s go; we start in five minutes.” Slate takes hold of my hand, and he pulls me along with him. When I turn back, Caspian is right behind me. He gives me a warm smile, which I return, and I take his hand as well. We glide through the roadies until we nearly reach the stage.

  Chapter Eight

  Ivory

  “Holy crap, the stage is huge.” I see a few guitar people who play alongside the band and backup singers take their places on a near dark stage.

  “Stay right here; don’t move. Any problems, call out. We will hear you over the music, don’t worry,” Slate says, standing in front of me.

  “Got ya.” I give him a thumbs up, causing him to chuckle.

  The guys start start to walk on stage, and the crowd goes crazy, screaming out the band’s name. I look out at the crowd, and I know I wouldn’t be able to do what they do; I would get stage fright, or worse, throw up on stage.

  Rush goes to the mic, a spotlight shining on him and the guys. He looks out at the screaming fans, giving them all a seductive smile. He introduces himself and the band before Zeke starts to play; they follow his lead, then Rush starts singing.

  Being this close to him, hearing him sing his own songs sends this electric current through me. They play so beautifully, so in-sync with one another.

  When the song kicks in, a beam of light shines on the stage, showing the rest of the people playing with them. I look at the backup singers: three girls, very attractive, very stunning, with voices of angels. I notice them looking at Rush every now and then.

  I know he or any of them are not mine, but I look down at my body, comparing mine to theirs, and they just look so flawless. Just like the band, they could be models, and then I think they must be vampires; no one human could ever look that perfect.

  No blemish.

  No flaw.

  I start to feel very insecure about myself.

  I wonder what it would be like to be a vampire, not worrying if you will gain weight, get wrinkles, just look picture perfect twenty-four-seven.

  But I would hate to watch everyone around me die.

  Then I think about Caspian and Rush. They keep people at arm’s length. They don’t want to get attached to something that will soon go, soon leave them behind.

  Each song is better than the last; the crowd continues to scream and cheer. The band doesn’t even look like they’ve broken a sweat.

  I am smiling and singing along to the choruses, liking how catchy they are, but when they start to play a slower song, I am rooted to the spot, letting their words drown me. They play a song about love, love that was meant to be eternal but never is.

  I don’t know why, but tears start to prickle my eyes, the song haunting me to my very core. I sniff and the whole band looks my way. I give them a warm smile, showing them that I like the song and that I’m okay.

  I wipe away the tears, feeling silly. I cheer when they sing the final song of the night; I am cheering like a crazy person.

  “You liked the show?” Sean says from behind me. I turn, looking at him.

  I nod. “It was amazing. It feels like they have only been playing for ten minutes; I don’t want it to end.”

  “I think the crowd will agree with you there,” he laughs. We watch as the band say their goodbyes. “I am so sorry that I tried to trick you, but I couldn’t really say no to them; they are my boss.”

  “I understand, least I know that I’m no idiot. I normally would have gone with you, but hanging around people that are immortal, I’ve had to second guess myself. I have watched way too many movies; if I ever see a dark alley, I avoid it like the plague,” I laugh, and he joins me.

  “At least you know you will keep yourself safe. Maybe they should put labels on films, learn from the victim’s mistakes.”

  “They should! I have learned if there’s something in the house, leave; don’t run up the stairs when being chased, and if you hear a noise, don’t investigate. That’s just a rookie mistake. One thing that always ticks me off in horror movies is when spirit activity happen in their new house and they stay. I would pack my stuff and leave; I wouldn’t hang around.”

  Sean bursts out laughing. “I think I’m going to really like you. So you are here for the rest of the tour?”

  “I think so, going to see how it goes.” I look at the stage; the guys are playing one more song, but they don’t look as happy as they were a minute ago.

  “You are staying on the roadie bus, right?” I bite my lip then nod. “I was thinking before bed, we can watch a horror movie and point out all the mistakes.” That actually sounds like fun.

  “That sounds great, but be warned, I nit-pick and scoff throughout horror movies; the ones that die in the first five minutes annoy me.” I roll my eyes, and he laughs again,

  “I think I can handle that.” He smiles at me, and I smile in return. “I will see you on the bus; I better get back to work.”

  “I will see you later.” He smiles before walking away. I watch him go, and when I turn around, all the guys are standing there, making me jump, almost giving me a heart attack. “Holy crap, are you trying to kill me?” I place my hand over my erratic heart.

  “Sorry, we’re finished; ready to go to the meet and greet room?” Caspian says softly.

  “Yup, I’m ready. You all played amazingly; that song about losing love, it really hit me. You should play more songs like that.” We start walking.

  “I’m glad you liked the show and the song; it took us months to perfect that one,” Slate says, coming t
o my side, taking hold of my hand. “Let’s go get you some food. You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

  We walk into the meet and greet room, and there is a long table that wasn’t there before. It’s full of food: pizza, Chinese, Indian, snacks. It could feed an army. Once the smell hits my nostrils, my stomach growls angrily. I guess I was hungrier than I thought.

  I haven’t really thought about food, but now seeing all this, I can’t wait to tuck in.

  “You guys not going to eat? I mean, you can eat human food, right?” I don’t really want to be the only one eating, looking like a pig.

  “We can, but it doesn’t hold the same appeal as it does for you. Just eat up; you don’t want all this to go to waste,” Zeke tells me, urging me to the table.

  “I can’t eat all that; I will explode.” We all chuckle.

  “Just eat what you can.”

  Taking a plate and I place a slice of pizza, fried rice, chicken curry, fries, and some chicken pakora; it’s a weird combination, but I want a bit of everything. I grab a seat on the couch, taking off my shoes, tucking my legs underneath me, and I start to dig in, groaning in pleasure, my stomach rejoicing at the amazing tastes.

  I look up at the guys, once again watching me. Zeke is looking at me with a huge smile on his face. “You look like you’re in heaven.”

  “I am. This is so good; if this is heaven, I can’t wait to go,” I joke, but Rush looks at me before leaving, and Caspian turns away. “Did I say something wrong?” I ask.

  “No, you didn’t. You just continue with your food. I will tell the security people to let the fans in; you just sit there and do what you did yesterday, just keep an eye out,” Slate says softly before walking out the door.

  “I did say something, didn’t I?” I pick up a fry and eat it.

  “It’s just a reminder that you won’t always be around, that you won’t be here forever like us. It’s a reminder to Rush, that’s all. He can be sensitive when it comes to death.” Caspian comes over and sits next to me.

  “I wasn’t thinking, I was just joking. I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.”

  “I know that, but it’s inevitable; it will happen. I guess Rush hates when he meets humans that he gets along with and knows they will soon be in the ground,” Zeke adds. Well, that’s a nice way of putting it.

  “Just eat up and don’t worry about Rush. All this helps with his broody exterior; he’ll probably write a song about it, knowing him.” I think about the song about love and losing it, it’s not about someone leaving; it’s about someone dying.

  “Rush wrote that song,” I say.

  “He did, but we all pitched in, perfecting it. Rush put his feelings down on paper; it helps him deal,” Caspian sighs.

  “Do you ever wish you never turned? That you’d died when you were supposed to?” I ask, curiously.

  “I was very sick. I was in pain and agony. I was begging for death to take me, just to stop the pain. But I was sad I was going to die so young. I wanted to see the world, I wanted to travel, to do the things I’d never had a chance to do. Finn was a doctor back then, and he asked if I could leave this world or stay, what would I want. I told him I would want to stay, and he changed me. I remember waking up, feeling no pain, and I was thankful. It hurt watching all my loved ones pass, but I got to follow so many of my dreams. I got to be an artist, visit the world, and help create certain medicines. Deep down, I’m still not ready to leave this world just yet,” Caspian answers, looking away deep in thought, probably reminiscing about his past.

  “I was an attorney,” Zeke answers. I look at him in shock. “Yes, I know, who would have thought, but I was a very good one. A person I was representing was convicted, and the family wasn’t happy, and they shot me in an empty alley. I remember the pain soaring through my entire body; it was such agony. It’s a pain I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I felt my body slowly dying. Luckily, Finn was walking past and saved me. I made sure the people who were involved were arrested and convicted. I spent ten years doing good, before I left, leaving everyone behind before people started wondering why I wasn’t aging. Just like Caspian, I wasn’t ready for death, I wanted to do good, and I did.”

  I take in the stories of who they once were. They aren’t just rock stars; they were people who had real lives and were taken so young.

  “I hope I never have to be put in that situation; I wouldn’t know what to choose. I don’t want to die, but I know it will happen at some point, but if it happened now, I would be torn,” I answer truthfully.

  “When you are on the brink of death, you will know the answer, but let’s hope you won’t have to choose. I can imagine you growing old, having loads of kids and grandchildren, dying peacefully in your sleep.” Caspian looks at me, and tears prickle in my eyes when I see how sad his eyes have become. I notice a blood tear drop down his cheek and lean toward him, using my thumb to wipe it away slowly.

  “If you are still playing, as people now know vampires exist, make sure you give my children and grandchildren VIP tickets to all your concerts.” I try and joke, but the conversation just went really sad.

  “I promise I will,” he whispers. He looks at me like I’m going to die any second. “I think I need to step out for a moment.” He stands and leaves the room, leaving Zeke and I alone.

  “I didn’t mean to upset anyone.”

  “I know, petal, I know.”

  Caspian

  This girl has been in my life for twenty-four hours, and I already don’t want her to go, and I mean never. I have been around so many women over the years, over the decades, hell, over the fucking century, and no one has ever made me feel like I do with her.

  Hearing her talk about growing old, having children, it just reminds me that she won’t be mine. She will find love, get married, grow old, and eventually die, and she will become that distant memory of a girl that I once wanted.

  But could never have.

  I walk out the doors, finding a secluded area with no one around, and I lift my fist and start hitting the wall, wanting to feel an ounce of pain that I’m feeling about losing her. I hit the wall over and over, blood dripping from my knuckles, but I know it will heal within seconds.

  I fall on the floor, leaning against the wall, hugging my legs to me.

  Why do I have to feel like this toward a human?

  Why couldn’t I feel like this with a supernatural? Damn, I wouldn’t mind feeling like this for a fae.

  At least, I know she wouldn’t die.

  I know I am immortal, but I could still die; the council could kill me. Fuck, a stake could kill me if anyone got close enough, but Ivory still has more of a chance at dying than I do.

  Even with her gift.

  “Hey, man.” Slate comes over and sits next to me. “You okay?”

  “I’ll be fine.” I lift my hand and watch it start to heal, leaving dry blood behind. “I like her Slate; I really like her,” I admit to him.

  “I know you do, and I like her too. Do you think we should let her go? She wanted to leave, but we persuaded her to stay. Maybe it would be easier if she went,” he sighs.

  I stand, looking at him angrily. “What the hell man, you really want her to go?”

  He stands. “You know I don’t, but this is how we are acting after a fucking day; can you imagine how we will feel after this tour is over, after two months of being with her, what then? She will go and continue with her life; we can’t make her stay. She has a life to lead.” He tugs his hair, looking up at the sky. “We can’t give her what she needs. She will want children, marriage. Can any of us give her that?”

  I know he’s right. I know she will want those things, but I want to be selfish, to have something that is so good and sweet, even if it’s for a little while. “We might not get this again.”

  “We can’t be selfish. We can’t trap her in our life. She needs the sun, light, not always surrounded by our darkness.” He puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him. “I don’t want her to g
o, but eventually she will have to.”

  I know. I just want all this to last. “This sucks.”

  Slate starts laughing. “Think you have been around her too much already.” We head back inside.

  Chapter Nine

  Ivory

  I ate two plates full of food, and I feel so fat that I am sure I’m about to fall into a food coma. I don’t think I have eaten so much in my life. I don’t know when I will eat again, so I wanted to make sure I had enough to keep me going. But I’m sure I had enough to last me a week.

  The guys eventually come back, but I notice the atmosphere has changed: it’s a little tense. I notice Caspian won’t look at me. I hate that he won’t since I love being around him; he is just so soothing to have around.

  He reminds me of a calming wave.

  I stay seated with my legs tucked underneath me, watching everyone come into the room. I watch as a few ask for autographs, asking for selfies. I smile when I notice a few teenagers on the verge of passing out when Rush kisses their cheek.

  I am playing with a strand of hair when a girl who looks about sixteen comes over to me and asks if I would take a picture of her and her friends with the band. I agree, and she thanks me, heading to the band, asking them for a picture and they all start to pose.

  I make sure I fit everyone in, and I smile, taking the picture. I look down at the picture and notice that it only shows the girls.

  “Hey, you need to put on the vampire filter,” I tell the girl and she laughs in embarrassment, jogging over, fixing it, and getting back in place. I take the picture and look at it, happy that it came out fine. I look back to the first picture, and it’s like in the movies, vampires show no reflection, it’s like back in the bathroom when Rush came in. There was no reflection in the mirror.