Fable of Happiness Book Two

by Pepper Winters

  Running my tongue around her finger, I dared to look into her eyes. I braced myself to see conniving manipulation, to witness the truth that she wasn’t overcome by my mouth but merely feigning desire.

  But her eyes glossed with heat. They positively burned with need. Desire like that couldn’t be counterfeit...surely. Her little pants and pebbled nipples couldn’t be fabricated if she hated me as much as I feared.

  I sucked harder, tasting her skin, cleaning her of all my wrongdoings. Her eyes snapped closed as she swayed into me. Her skin flushed with fire, burning me up, making me hard, causing whispers of lust to curl through my mind.

  I could have her again.

  I didn’t think she’d deny me this time.

  It could be mutual.

  It could be good.

  It could be explosive and intoxicating and yet another arrow through my heart.

  “Kas...” she moaned as I slowly licked my way to the tip of her finger and blew on the wetness left behind.

  And I knew what I could give her to equal what she’d given me.

  She’d given me a release.

  She didn’t have the same affliction that I did. I could leave her be, and she could satisfy herself. But...I also had the skills in which to break her apart for a change. I’d been well trained. Well disciplined.

  I could apologize in so many sexual ways.

  But first, I needed her clean. I needed to cleanse her of the dirt I’d left on her and the cum I’d spilled inside. That orgasm had been full of shame and heavy guilt. I wanted her free of it. Just like I wanted to be free of everything that’d made me into the bastard who’d raped her.

  Her eyes flickered open as I pressed a final kiss to the tip of her finger and let her hand drop to her side.

  “Thank you,” I whispered. I didn’t deserve to touch her. I was beneath her in so many awful ways, but I didn’t have the power to stay away. If she gave me permission to apologize tonight, then I would do whatever she commanded.

  She blinked, still hazy with want.

  I found pride in that. Pride that I’d made her drunk just by sucking on her finger. Proud that, regardless of her threat that I was doomed the moment I entered her body, I’d somehow made her feel a tenth of the lust I suffered.

  And also proud that she kept using my name, regardless of my orders for her not to. She’d ignored me. She’d been brave enough to ignore me. And in that, she fully deserved to use it.

  “I know you aren’t looking for my permission—especially after what I did—but...I want you to know, I—” I cleared my throat, finding it harder than expected to say such simple things. But that was because they weren’t simple. This wasn’t just me allowing her to use my name. A slave name that labeled me as a belonging, a piece of trash, a toy to be used and discarded, but I was effectively giving myself over to her.

  I was giving her the right to own me. To summon me. To use me however she liked.

  “I’d be honored if you use my name, even if it isn’t my real one. After what you did for me tonight...” I coughed again, unable to get rid of the lump in my throat. “For you to welcome me inside you after I—”

  “It’s okay. We don’t have to—”

  “No, we do.” I slashed the air with my broken arm. “I don’t care what drove you to do it. I don’t care if you hate me, and it was a ruse to make me fall. I—”

  “What?” she scowled. “A ruse? There was no ruse. What are you saying—”

  “I’m saying you’re worth more to me than anything, and I—” I frowned. “If I’m honest, I hate that name, but I can’t remember any other. I hate what I am. I hate what I’ve done to you, not just tonight but all the other nights combined. I’ve tried to forget. I’ve tried to be better. I want to be better...for you.”

  She inhaled sharply.

  Clearing my throat and the sudden squeezing in my chest, I reached out and grabbed her wrist. “Come. There’s something I want to show you.”

  She looked down at where my fingers circled her arm. Could she feel the slight zing between us? The constant flow of energy humming from her body into mine? Regardless of my limited knowledge of relationships outside of Fables, I’d never felt the steady crackle of electricity for anyone before. Not even my family.

  She had to know she was special. Had to guess that she was the one person in the world who could either save me or kill me. I didn’t have a say in the matter. I didn’t want a say. I just wanted to be with her, to keep her, to love her.

  Her body stayed tense, but her eyes flickered to mine, glowing gold in the dark. She licked her lips as the heat between us grew, buzzing in our blood. “Show me what?”

  Her stare reached inside my soul and scrambled me up until I couldn’t breathe. I was raw tonight. Every wall I’d constructed had crumbled, leaving me scarily open to her in every way.

  “Kas...” She cocked her head. “You sure you’re okay?”

  I blinked and tried to gather up my scattered pieces. “Are you okay? After...how I treated you?”

  Her eyes flared as if wary of my concern. I supposed she had every right to be. I hadn’t exactly proven I cared about her welfare before.

  Slowly, she nodded. “I will be.”

  “Did...did I hurt you?”

  She grimaced. “Like I said in the library...you didn’t hurt me. Not in the physical sense.”

  I flinched, wanting to fall to my knees. That was worse. I might not have hurt her body, but I’d hurt her far, far deeper. I’d taken the same wounds that constantly bled inside me and given them to her. “I’m sorry.”

  “I know.”

  I shook my head, sadness heavy on my shoulders. “No, I don’t think you do. Not yet.” Giving her a tug, I guided her from the conservatory, through the huge foyer, and down the staff corridor to the kitchen.

  She followed silently, ignoring the chain clinking between us, growing louder as we left carpet for tiles before slipping out the back door and slithering through the earth as I guided her toward the bath tucked behind some trellis I’d made to block it from the wind.

  Fire licked at the sticks I’d stacked beneath it, embers glowed brightly, heating the water to a perfect temperature but not boiling it.

  Gemma slowed as I let her go, ducking to grab the iron poker that’d I’d stolen from a fireplace inside. I scattered the fire, ensuring the heat was dispersed so the bath would stay warm for the next few hours.

  “What is this?” she asked softly.

  “It’s my attempt at showing just how fucking sorry I am.”

  Her head cocked to the side. “You poured me a bath?” She glanced at the hose tossed to the side and the cheery fire crackling beneath. “An outdoor bath?”

  I shook my head, gritting my teeth against the constant imbalance from my concussion. “It’s more than that.”

  She inched closer. “More?”

  “Let me show you.” I went toward her, fully intending to unbutton her shirt and hold her steady as she climbed in. However, she flinched backward. Her hands flying to the buttons, clutching the fabric as if expecting me to take her against her will again.

  And fuck me, that drove a dagger right through my ribs, straight through my heart, and clean through my spine.

  I backed up immediately, hands in the air in surrender. “I won’t touch you. Not if you don’t wish it.”

  She licked her lips, her gaze flicking from me and back to the bath. “I-I don’t understand.”

  I sighed and looked at the earth. I’d already messed this up just by being me.

  Giving me yet another mind-altering shrug, she murmured, “Tell me what you want. You have to talk me through this. I’m a little...frayed.”

  Of course, she was frayed.

  I’d forced her.

  I’d been forcing her to survive every single moment since she’d found me.

  Staying where I was, giving her the element of choice instead of making her feel trapped, I murmured just as quietly, “I want to give you pleasure.
” Such a simple sentence, but just like my name, it was a vow not given lightly.

  She shook her head slightly. “You don’t need—”

  “I do.” I swallowed hard. “I can’t stand the thought that you’re still dirty...because of me. That I stole whatever innocence you had left. That I left you marked with part of me. That you’re...unclean. Like me.”

  She flinched. “You’re not unclean...Kas.” She smiled sadly at the use of my name. “And I told you, what happened between us might have started off against my will, but the ending was my choice. My decision.” She came toward me, letting her hands drop from clutching her shirt. “I’m happy that you found peace. That you—”

  “And I’m angry that you haven’t.” I couldn’t help myself. Reaching up, I captured a strand of her golden hair, running the silkiness through my fingers. “I’m angry that I haven’t returned the favor.”

  She sucked in a breath. “Is that what this is about? You think you owe me pleasure because you came and I didn’t?”

  I winced. “No.”

  “Tell the truth.”

  “That is the truth.”

  Her eyes narrowed, studying me. “I don’t think it is. You’ve been trained to—”

  “That training is gone.”

  She gave me another sad smile. “Are you so sure?”

  “I’m sure that I want to make amends for what I’ve done.”

  “There’s nothing to make amends—”

  “Please,” I snarled, my hand dropping from her hair and balling by my side. “All I’m asking is...” I looked at the ground, swallowing a harsh laugh. I hadn’t thought this out. I hadn’t rehearsed this, but now that certain words filled my mouth, I heard how ridiculous they’d sound. How stupidly cliché and preposterous.

  “What?” she whispered. “What are you asking for?”

  It was my turn to shrug, temper tangling with all my flaws. “You to trust me. Just like you said I could trust you.”

  Her eyes widened, the truth written all over her face. “You said I shouldn’t trust you.”

  “And you shouldn’t.”

  “Then why ask—?”

  “Just for tonight. Trust me to do the right thing...just for tonight.”

  She frowned, no doubt going over what else I’d said in the library. How I’d begged her to kill me before I could make another mistake. How I’d practically beaten it into her that she could never trust a man who couldn’t control his own mind. A man she’d predicted would one day snap and hurt her far worse than anything he’d done before. There was no way she should trust me.

  Of course, she couldn’t.

  What a moronic thing to ask.

  I laughed under my breath. “Forget it. I only meant...” I sighed and looked at the stars. “I want you to feel safe. You’re safe, Gemma...I-I give you my word that I won’t hurt you. Not tonight.”

  She nodded once, hearing what I had. Not tonight. She was safe...just for tonight. I couldn’t guarantee all the other days and all the other nights, but for the next few hours before dawn broke, while my mind was stable and completely here, with her, she wouldn’t be molested, bruised, or tormented.

  I rolled my eyes, cursing my constant headache. What sort of offer was that? What did that make me when I couldn’t extend that promise because I had no control when sleep claimed me?

  Silence thickened between us, and as we stood next to flames with their soft crackle in our ears and starlight above us, I felt as if she saw past all the nightmares I couldn’t face and all the memories I locked up deep inside. She shoved past any connection I might’ve had with my Fable family, elbowed past a childhood I couldn’t remember, and dug deep, deep inside me until she found the core of who I was.

  The nucleus that’d given up hope and happiness a long time ago.

  She saw me. The eternal me. She didn’t see a man imprisoned with loneliness, not a boy with severe trauma, not even the man I could become thanks to her. She saw past all of that, and I came alive and died beneath her study.

  She made my heart revoke me, forsake me, and bow to its new owner.

  The air crackled with more than just flame-chewed firewood. It positively blazed with whatever magic had sprung between us, and I couldn’t stand there any longer as separate people.

  I had to touch her.

  To thank her.

  To hide just how much she’d undone me.

  Stepping into her, I cupped her cheeks with both palms. “You’re safe.”

  She froze with a quick inhale.

  Our eyes locked.

  Our pulse raced.

  “I promise.” I dropped my head and captured her mouth with mine.

  She gasped as I kissed her softly.

  She trembled in my hands as I groaned at her taste.

  I kissed her softer still, turning my head, running my thumbs over her cheekbones, licking at the seam of her lips. “Let me make this right.”

  For an awful moment, she kept her mouth pursed, denying me.

  “Please...” I kissed her sweetly, feathering affection that made my entire body buckle for more, reining myself in from being cruel. “I need to do this. I need to show you how much you mean to me.”

  She moaned and opened for me.

  The dark parts of me rejoiced. I deepened the kiss, swift and savage.

  Her spine arched as I clutched her close. She didn’t push me away, but she didn’t melt into me either. Her lack of participation and the fact that she hadn’t actively refused me made me worry she’d only agreed out of fear. That even now, even after what’d happened between us, she still expected me to lose myself and leave her at the mercy of my nightmares.

  “You’re safe,” I breathed, pulling away, forcing myself to stop.

  She blinked, belief and disbelief equal in her stare.

  “I’m at your command, Gem.” It took all my willpower to stay slow and gentle. “You only have to tell me, and I’ll stop.” I bowed my head and kissed her again, light and tantalizing. “This time is different. I feel different. I’m different because of you. Thanks to you.” I sucked on her bottom lip. “I want to show you what it could be like between us when there’s no shit, no struggle. I want to know what we could be like. Just us.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  I’D LIVED THROUGH MANY things, yet this...this was the hardest.

  I’d always been independent and not afraid of tackling things that scared other people, but right now? Having Kas treat me as if he would gladly plunge a knife into his heart if he so much as said a harsh word terrified me.

  It terrified because I wanted so, so much to believe we’d turned a corner. That this was him acknowledging that we couldn’t keep going the way we had. The hating, the arguing, the explosions that always ended up with me hurt and him struggling to understand what he’d done wrong.

  He was like a wolf cub, stumbling and growling, alone without a role model to show him the right path. He could be forgiven for his mistakes while slowly coming alive again. It was understandable for someone who’d turned his back on his own kind to fumble.

  But what I couldn’t accept was how much this version of him made me feel.

  Tonight had been one of the scariest of my life. I’d been taken by force, and ordinarily, any woman who’d lived through that was completely in her right to murder the perpetrator and run straight to the police.

  But I couldn’t.

  Not just because I was trapped by a chain, but because I’d been infected by insidious feelings that webbed like starlight between us. And it wasn’t just a web. It was deeper than that; it’d slipped beneath our skin and threaded around our hearts.

  Our insides matched—I was sure of it.

  Both riddled with star-strings, pulsing and glowing, tying us together with no way to get free.

  Dammit.

  All my life, I’d wanted to feel a tiny fraction of what I did for this messed-up man, and the fact that I could—even after what he’d done—scrambled me up until we were both
as fucked up as the other.

  “Gem.” He kissed me deeper, his tongue hunting mine. In that delicate moment, he wasn’t a stranger in a forgotten valley, and he wasn’t the beast who’d stolen everything from me. He was just a man—a man I was finding harder and harder to pretend wasn’t made for me.

  Every instinct wanted to submit to him. To melt and kiss him back.

  But if I did and he switched? If I allowed my guard to drop, only for it all to unravel because of his past, I didn’t think I could survive that.

  I’d gotten this far by convincing myself that he didn’t mean anything to me. That I would still run when I had the chance. Yet now...

  God, now?

  I sucked in a breath as his kiss switched from demanding to soft again, giving me the choice to pull away.

  Now, I no longer knew anything, and I wanted to know everything. I wanted to know him. I wanted to know every shadow and scar. I wanted him to talk to me, to purge, to share.

  He made me dare to dream that perhaps, just perhaps, I might be strong enough to save him.

  Was that possible?

  Or just a stupid fantasy?

  I never relaxed as he kissed his way from my mouth to my jaw to my ear. His touch made my nerves dance with need, but I stayed stiff. I was too conditioned to expect his cruelness, his coldness. I was floundering the longer he treated me gently.

  Dropping his hands from my cheeks, he ran them lightly down my throat to my shoulders.

  I tensed to stone. I couldn’t help it. His fingers near my neck made instincts wary of his intentions.

  “It fucking kills me to know I’m the reason you tense like that.” He ran his thumbs over my shoulders, leaving a wake of tingles. His gaze fell on my shirt buttons between my breasts.

  My nipples instantly pebbled, hungry for touch, choosing recklessness instead of common sense.

  His breath caught. His right hand dropped lower and cupped me. “I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispered, running his touch over my nipple and sending a lance of fire to my core. “I give you my word. Tonight, I’m yours.”

  His mouth slipped back over mine as his hand palmed my entire breast. This time, when his tongue dipped past my lips, I touched him back with mine.