She took a hearty sip of coffee. “Well, Mr. Edgy, let me have it. Why do you wish you could chalk this up to a mistake? And don’t sugarcoat your answer, because I’ll probably see right through it.”
He shifted in his chair, bringing her legs between his. “Okay, no sugarcoating. All that shit you dragged out of me last night? I don’t talk about it. As in ever.”
This didn’t sound like it was leading up to anything warm and fuzzy.
“And when we were together?” He shook his head. “Trish, there are no words for what I feel when I’m with you. I thought I got a rush performing onstage, but being with you?” He shook his head again, and she hoped that was a good sign.
“But…?” She set her coffee cup on the table.
“Being with you is beyond incredible. But I need you to know that I’ve got a long list of people relying on me. People I care about, and I can’t afford to let any one of them down.”
And there it was. She thought she could handle it if he said last night was a one-time thing, but a mass of confused thoughts and hurt feelings assailed her. How could she have felt so much in one night? Had it just been so long since she’d been with a man that she was making a connection where there was none? She couldn’t believe it. Didn’t want to believe it. How could the aftermath of a single night and a handful of days make her ache?
He took her hand in his, and she couldn’t meet his eyes. She should get up and walk way, even if just to save face, but she couldn’t muster the energy to do that.
“You’re pushy and demanding and so damn sexy it’s hard to focus when I’m near you,” he said with such sincerity it gave her goose bumps. However, the word but still lingered in his voice. “And you care so much when I say I don’t want to feel something. You make me feel it.”
She wrenched her hand from his and forced herself to her feet. “Okay, you can stop now. I get it. I am aggressive. We’ve already established that. I don’t really need to hear it again.”
Boone rose in front of her, his face a mask of concern. “Are you mad?”
She crossed her arms. “Not mad, per se.” The lie tasted bitter. She was mad, but more at herself than at him. Heartbroken? A little. Embarrassed for feeling so much for you when you felt so little? Yes. He was watching her expectantly, and she felt like she was either going to cry or scream.
She threw her arms up in the air and turned away, hoping he wouldn’t see how much she hurt. “I thought we connected last night.”
“We did,” he said vehemently.
“Obviously not in the way I thought. It’s fine.” She took a step away, and he grabbed her arm.
“Whoa there, beautiful. Ryders don’t run away, remember?” His eyes narrowed. “I obviously suck at this, which doesn’t surprise me and shouldn’t surprise you.”
“I don’t know what you mean. You blew me off just fine.”
“No, I didn’t. Or if I did, I didn’t mean to.”
He spoke so softly the knot in her stomach loosened.
“The last thing I want to do is blow you off. Last night you forced me to feel things that scare the hell out of me, both good and bad. I’m not trying to blow you off. I’m trying to say that I care. That I want you. I want this. I wish I could write us off as a mistake because that’s the easy way out. I’ve been shutting myself off for years. It’s what I know, what I do best. But you—” He drew her into his arms and cradled her face in his hands. “You force me to be a better person.”
She brushed her fingers over his chest, buying herself a second to try to calm her racing heart. “But what about your list? I don’t want to come between you and anyone you care about.”
He smiled, then laughed softly. It was the kind of laugh that said, Only you would push for more details, and he was probably right.
“You’re on the top of that list now, beautiful. Last night, for the first time ever, I felt like I was exactly where I should be. Where I wanted to be.”
She swallowed past her mounting relief and burgeoning emotions. “Boone, that’s exactly how I felt. How I feel.”
“I need you to be sure about being with me, Trish. I’ve already opened up to you so much it feels like I’m hanging on the edge of a cliff, and this probably makes me look weak, but I really do believe you’ve got the power to shatter me into a million little pieces. You make me feel vulnerable, and as you’ve seen, I’m not an easy person to get close to.”
She pressed her lips to his chest and breathed in his musky scent. “Then it’s a good thing I’m easy, because two difficult people is a recipe for disaster.”
**
BOONE WAS ASTOUNDED at how badly he’d screwed this up and how easily they were coming back from his mistake. Trish was there for him, saving him from himself again. He hated himself for causing her to worry, but at the same time, she was getting a good, honest dose of his weaknesses. And she was still there.
“I’m not kidding, beautiful.” He brushed his thumb over her jaw, feeling the tension ease with his touch. “I think we crossed into new territory last night, at least for me. I don’t know how to do this, and I’m worried that this misunderstanding is just the beginning.”
“To do what exactly?” She smiled up at him, but it didn’t quite erase the lingering concern in her eyes.
“To be in a relationship, and I want that with you. But I’m going to screw up.”
“I want that with you, too.” Her brows knitted, and she pressed her lips together for a few seconds, as if she were working out a puzzle. “But screw up how? I won’t forgive you being with another woman, so if that’s what you mean, you’ve got the wrong girl.”
He let out a long, frustrated breath. “Before you, I hadn’t even kissed a woman for months. I am not going to suddenly start sleeping around. That’s not what I mean, and it’s not who I am.”
“Then tell me what you mean, please, and end this torture, because it really hurt to wake up to an empty bed and then to feel like I had misread everything. I know that’s my fault, but let’s get past it.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to wake you when I answered the call.” He couldn’t help smiling at her vehemence. “I do like how feisty you are.”
“Boone.” She laughed.
“Sorry, but I do. All I meant was that I probably won’t always say the right thing. And if last night was any indication, then if a guy hits on you, I might turn into a jealous asshole.”
“That’s it?” She pressed her hands to his chest.
He shrugged. “Probably not, but I’ve never had a real girlfriend, so who knows what other things you’ll uncover.”
“Never? As in, not ever?” She looked skeptical.
He shook his head.
“Then what was that line about hoping one day to meet someone like me and not wanting a string of senseless mistakes hanging around your neck?”
“You don’t miss a thing, do you?” He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. “That was the truth. My parents got married when they were seventeen, and when we were growing up, we had nothing. We lived in this little rented house in a bad neighborhood, where you could hear the neighbors arguing all night and police sirens going off at all hours. We didn’t have bikes or video games or things, but we had love. My parents were there for us, and they were there for each other. My father loved my mother so deeply, you could see it in his eyes. And my mother? She refuses to move from that crappy little house because her memories, her life with my father, are there.”
“Oh, Boone. You and your family must miss him so much.”
“We do. I do, every damn day. My parents showed us what mattered in life. It wasn’t the things we had; it was the sense of family. They taught us how to love and showed us what caring about another person looks like.” He brushed her hair from her shoulder and curled his hand around the nape of her neck. “You should know that I was the guy who slept around the first year I was in the business. I was careful, never had unprotected sex, never did drugs, but I had my fair share of ho
okups in that year.”
She traced one of his tattoos along his arm. “Maybe we don’t need to share all the details.”
“I want you to know. I think I had to go through that to realize it’s not what I wanted. About that same time, I figured out why so many people were throwing themselves at me. I had made it, and they wanted a piece of what I had.”
“Oh, trust me. Any woman who was with you wanted you, too.”
“Maybe, maybe not. All I know is I didn’t feel anything for any of them. And one weekend I went home to visit my mother, and I knew I was done with that lifestyle.” He gazed into her eyes and saw a million questions lying in wait. “Why don’t we eat and you can ask me whatever you want to know.”
“You made enough food for an army.” She looked at the table, then back at him. “But I really do have to be careful about what I eat. You can eat if you haven’t yet.”
“Oh, I plan on eating, but what I want isn’t on the table.” He picked up a strawberry and ran it over her lips, then followed it with his tongue. “I worry about you not eating. Take a bite. For me.”
She opened her mouth, and he dragged the tip of the strawberry over her tongue. She moaned as she bit into the juicy fruit.
“Sweet and sexy. The perfect woman.”
He lowered his mouth to hers. Cool sweetness burst over their tongues, and they deepened the kiss. Her fingers trailed down his bare chest, and he snatched them up and kissed the tips of them.
“I love your mouth,” she whispered.
They shared a series of slow, shivery kisses, and she arched her neck. He nibbled and sucked all the way up her neck to her ear and trapped her lobe between his teeth. She squirmed and shifted, straddling him, and took the kiss deeper. He ached to be inside her. He grabbed her hips, grinding his shaft against her.
“I thought we were done,” she said in a heated breath.
“Never.” He couldn’t think, could only feel as she pushed her hands into his hair and sealed her mouth over his neck. Her mouth was so hot, so wet, every stroke of her tongue fed the inferno burning inside him. And when she cranked up the heat and sucked, he felt it between his legs.
He tugged on her shorts. “These have to go.”
Lifting her off his lap, he tore open the button, and she wiggled out of them, her eyes trained on him.
“Beautiful girl, I could watch you strip all day long.”
He guided her so she stood between his legs and lifted her shirt above her breasts. “You’re gorgeous.” He took one nipple in his mouth, squeezing the other between his finger and thumb.
“Ohmygod. Boone that feels too good.”
He sucked harder, loving the whimpering sounds she made and the way she clawed at his head, holding his mouth to her breast. She tasted like morning dew in the land of temptation, and he wanted to stake a tent and stay there forever. She made an appreciative sound in the back of her throat, which vibrated through her. He rose to his feet and crashed his mouth over hers.
“Need more of you,” he said, unzipping his pants as they ate at each other’s mouths. He tore her shirt over her head and tossed it to the floor, lifted her in his arms, and her legs wound around his hips. Like magnet to metal, his fingers sought the damp heat between her legs.
She grabbed his head and kissed him like she’d been waiting her whole life to do it. His mind spun and his heart swelled. When he looked into her eyes, he knew he was driven by something bigger than lust, more powerful than the promise of sex.
“Condom,” she said in a rush.
Holding her with one arm, he reached for the box of condoms beside the fridge, and her smile turned sinful.
She grabbed the box from him and tore it open. “The condom fairies came while we were sleeping?”
He laughed and took her in another kiss. “Another reason I was up at five.”
She waved a condom with a tease in her eyes and dropped the box on the counter. “I think you’re very good at this boyfriend thing.”
With one arm he swept the kitchen table clean. Dishes crashed to the floor, sending the poor kitten scampering into the living room. As Boone lowered Trish to the table, she visually feasted on every inch of him. Heat seared through him with every sweep of her eyes. He fisted his cock and gave it a few tight strokes.
“Oh,” she whispered. “I like seeing you do that.”
He made a mental note of that secret pleasure, splayed his hands over her thighs, and pushed her legs apart. “I seem to remember you like this, too.”
He lowered his mouth to her, and she squirmed and moaned, filling the kitchen with a stream of sexy sounds. Her arousal coated his mouth, his tongue, his lips. When he slid his fingers into her tight heat and teased her most sensitive nerves with his mouth, she cried out his name, and he fucking loved it. When the last of her orgasm pulsed through her, he slicked his tongue between her wet lips and then rose up and claimed her in another demanding kiss.
“Got to have you.” He grabbed the condom and tore it open with his teeth.
She took it from his hands and held it over her head. Heat flared in her eyes. “Not yet. Let me see you touch yourself again.”
Holy hell. This woman was a naughty, sweet dream come true. “I see your bossiness isn’t limited to outside the bedroom.” She blushed, and he guided her hand between her legs. “Fair’s fair.”
“But…”
He held his hand in front of her mouth and said, “Lick.” She dragged her tongue up his palm, sending white-hot sparks shooting through him. He fisted his shaft and stepped closer, bringing their mouths a whisper apart. “You wanna play?”
Her eyes narrowed with challenge. He lifted her hand to his mouth and swirled his tongue around her fingers. Her eyes fluttered closed. When he guided her hand between her legs, she opened her eyes. He stroked his shaft with one hand and used his other to guide hers, then slid his fingers into her slick heat.
“Tease your clit,” he commanded. “That’s it, baby.”
Her eyes were locked on his hand as he worked his shaft and he stroked the magic spot inside her that made her eyes slam shut.
“Eyes open,” he said, fighting the urge to drive into her.
She obeyed, and it became a test of wills as her climax gripped her. Her sex swelled and pulsed around his fingers as she came in a wild symphony of pleas. Watching her come was like seeing the most impassioned songs come to life, taking him up, up, up to a place where only they existed. He squeezed the base of his shaft, willing himself not to come. He sheathed his throbbing erection and moved her to the edge of the table. She moved her fingers from between her legs, and he guided them back, holding them there.
“For me.” He gripped her hips and drove into her. Hot spikes of pleasure shot through him.
“Ohmygod.” She clung to his arm with one hand, working herself with the other. Her head tipped back as he pounded into her tight heat, and her hand stilled as a stream of pleas sailed from her lungs.
“Harder. So good. Oh God, more.”
He kissed the corners of her mouth, soft and tender as he took her rough and wild.
“Harder. Kiss me harder,” she begged.
He crushed her to him, greedily feasting on her mouth. He felt her entire body flex, and he quickened his pace, wanting to come with her. Heat seared down his spine, and just as she gave in to her own release, she sank her teeth into his shoulder, and the world exploded in a fiery storm of white-hot sensations.
Chapter Twelve
IT TURNED OUT that sending dishes and food into the air took a lot longer to clean up than it did to actually have sex. Trish and Boone spent two hours getting food out from under cabinets, off walls, countertops, and even the ledge of drawer panels. They made good use of the time, kissing and teasing and getting to know more about each other. Trish told Boone about her love for geology and how she’d gone to college to appease her parents so she’d have an education to fall back on in case acting didn’t work out. She’d seen a flicker of something in his ey
es, and when he pointed out that they came from completely different worlds, she didn’t try to deny it. He seemed to appreciate that she didn’t say otherwise, and she appreciated that he didn’t have a chip on his shoulder because of it. He asked about her friends, and she told him all about Fiona and how they’d been roommates in college and had remained as close as sisters. She’d even admitted to calling Fiona and complaining about him, which he got a kick out of and swore to remedy by making her very, very happy.
By the time they’d tracked down the kitten—snuggled on Boone’s pillow—showered, and finally ate real food, it was after noon. A few clouds lingered in the sky, but it was a nice, breezy day. The grass and trees seemed brighter and livelier in the wake of the storm. Trish was surprised to see that Boone had hung their clothes from last night over the porch railing to dry.
Trish watched him pacing the yard as he talked on the phone. They’d been rehearsing for a few hours, and the change in Boone was like night and day. He was far more relaxed, although they hadn’t attempted the pivotal warehouse scene yet. Knowing the depth of painful emotions it stirred in him, she was nervous about bringing it up, but she knew she had to. If they didn’t get every scene right, the movie could be canceled, and that wouldn’t be good for either of them.
Boone ran a hand through his hair and smiled as he headed toward the porch in a pair of low-slung jeans. The sun shone brightly behind him, outlining his broad shoulders and slim waist. His colorful tattoos snaked out from beneath his shirtsleeves. He hadn’t shaved, and his scruff came in patchy and rough, adding to his badass image. But even with all that delicious eye candy, Trish no longer saw only the hard-ass rocker. She saw the man who had held her in his arms, opened his heart, and had a world of turmoil riding just beneath the surface. She really, really liked the man she was getting to know, faults and all. He was more real, more honest than any man she’d ever dated.
“Sorry.” He sat down beside her on the porch step and leaned his elbows on his thighs. “That was my brother Cage. He just wanted to touch base and tell me about his next fight.”
Chased by Love (Love in Bloom: The Ryders): Trish Ryder Page 11