by TJ Dallas
I couldn’t understand it.
It took several excruciatingly long months, but I eventually braved the club. I’d smiled as I looked around my office, the mundane familiarity of it warming my cold heart. I’d sat behind my desk, looking up as Althea entered a minute behind me. She’d raised her eyebrows questioningly, and I’d nodded, taking her into my arms. I’d kissed her, and she’d brought me back to life, my heart suddenly beating hard in my chest again for the first time in months. I remembered who I lived for.
The sonogram picture I’d gotten at my second scan was hidden away in a locked box where no one could find it. On the rare occasions that I’d been completely alone in those last couple of weeks, I’d gazed upon the grainy black-and-white image with curiosity, a heavy weight in my heart. What kind of person would this baby grow up to be? Would they look like me? Would they hate me for the decision I’d made? Would I ever get a chance to explain why I’d made it? Did I want to explain it? Did I have a right to look this child in the eye one day and try to defend myself?
Pride would defend herself until her dying breath, but in the grand scheme of things, that was a pathetic excuse for why I’d given my child away. The Identical had said I couldn’t love this child unconditionally, so why did my entire being shake with nothing but love when I looked upon that image, or when I was lying in bed, holding a hand to my belly on the off-chance that the baby kicked again? One day, I’d found myself hoping for it, and the thought terrified me. I didn’t dare to hope again, knowing how our story would end.
Something had broken inside me that day, and I wasn’t sure it would ever heal.
I vowed never to look at the picture again, and I intended to keep that promise. I’d thrown the key into the River Forth, bringing closure to a part of my life I didn’t want to remember. I don’t know why I didn’t throw away the picture or the box, but I found I physically couldn’t do it. The fragile nature of human emotions made no sense to me at all.
A further few weeks later, and Georgia had brought Ambrosia to see me. I’d taken her into my arms, cradling her to my chest and kissing her light blonde hair, trying my best to hold back my tears.
She was almost a year and a half now, and while I had a present in mind for her second birthday, I’d wanted to give it to her then. Georgia had rolled her eyes at me, shaking her head in despair, but she laughed as I produced the gift from my pocket.
The look of glee on Ambrosia’s face as she blew on the wooden whistle I’d made for her told me it was worth it. The shrill sound it created, like a bird song as she blew into it, caused her eyes to light up and she squealed in delight.
We sat together, taking turns blowing the whistle and giggling for God only knows how long, before Georgia advised us it was time for her nap, and I had to place her back into her mother’s arms.
I kissed Georgia’s cheek, and she nestled herself under my arm as I rested my chin on top of her head. I don’t know how, but we were closer now than ever before. It was an unspoken connection, a strange understanding between us, even though we’d made different choices. We didn’t have to explain it then, and I won’t try now. We knew it was there, and that was all that mattered. I understood her choice, and she understood mine.
I’d bent my neck forward as she’d stepped away, pressing my lips against hers. My heart hammered in my chest as she kissed me back, and she had to place a hand on my chest to break the connection. “Tonight,” she’d whispered breathlessly, and I’d only been able to nod in response.
We’d climaxed together, naked, sweating, and screaming, covered in the sticky residue of maple syrup that we hadn’t successfully managed to lick off. For the first time in months, I felt myself again.
The next day, I grinned, taking a long draw on a cigarette. The bottle of beer in my hand was empty, and I held it up to Emilia. She nodded, bringing another Budweiser over and placing it in front of me. I held the cigarette between my lips as I started to shuffle the deck of cards, looking around the table. Bella was watching me intently.
“Ready to learn Ring of Fire?”
Six months later, I sat in my office, rubbing my eyes. The team had had an exceptionally busy night, and even though I’d called lights up at midnight, it had still taken a while to finish counting the tills, and the night wasn’t over yet. It was time for another team party after they’d smashed every target I’d set throughout July.
I sighed, loosening my tie and reaching up to stretch, the bottom of my shirt untucking from my jeans. I grimaced as I caught a whiff of whisky; the result of some over-the-top dance moves as I’d made my way through the club earlier in the night.
I stood up. They’d be waiting for me, ready to get the night started, and there wasn’t any way I could slip away unnoticed. I rubbed my eyes again with a yawn and shook myself awake as I opened the door.
“Surprise!”
I jumped a foot in the air, dropping my keys as party whistles blared and a confetti cannon exploded above me. I looked around at the gathering, my mouth open. “What’s this?”
“Happy birthday, toots.” Althea came forward, wearing a stunning knee-length green dress that matched her eyes, her hips swaying in a pair of black heels. I couldn’t say anything as she approached. We hadn’t celebrated my birthday in over half a century, and they’d caught me off-guard.
I glanced down at my untucked shirt. “Well, I’m overdressed.”
Althea chuckled as she grabbed the knot of my tie. “We both know how sexy you look.” My hands trailed along the smooth silky fabric at her sides as she kissed me. “We thought it was time we celebrated again.”
I grinned from ear to ear. “Have I got presents?”
“Of course.” She motioned behind her, and the gathering parted to reveal a table. The first thing I noticed was a gorgeous three-tiered birthday cake, with multicoloured icing and covered in edible glitter. I couldn’t miss Georgia’s proud smile.
Everyone patted me on the back and hugged me as I got nearer, wishing me a happy birthday. I couldn’t hide the smile from my face. I loved my birthday; it was the only official day of the year dedicated to me.
I picked up the first present, a tiny rectangle. I unwrapped the gold paper, a Zippo lighter falling into my palm with a rainbow on one side and my name engraved on the other. I looked at the label with a grin, looking between Bella and Riley as I asked, “From both of you?”
“Riley paid for it on the condition that I picked it up,” Bella said.
“So Greed doesn’t have to pay a penny, and Sloth doesn’t have to do anything? I should have guessed.” I slipped the Zippo into my pocket with a chuckle and kissed both of their cheeks. “Thank you.”
The next present was twofold: a gift bag, and a much bigger present wrapped in red paper beside it. I looked at the label and peered into the gift bag, pulling out a bottle of absinthe as Lara and Zoe hovered beside me.
“Very nice,” I murmured. “A good choice.” I reached for the larger present beside it, tearing off the wrapping. “And what the hell are these?”
Lara couldn’t look at me as I pulled out a pair of heavy yellow trousers with red straps. The confusion was clear on my face, and Zoe struggled to withhold her laughter.
“Lara has a question, but I don’t think she can say anything right now, can you, babe?” Lara had gone the deepest maroon I’d ever seen in my life.
“What is it, pet?” I asked.
Lara shook her head, losing what little nerve she had, and Zoe draped an arm around her shoulder.
“She’d like to know if you’d dress up as a firefighter for her.”
I arched my brow. Lara eventually braved a glance towards me, and I winked. I’ll get changed later, and then how about a lap dance once we crack open the absinthe? I thought. Would that suffice?
Lara’s jaw dropped, but she didn’t need to answer. I could hear her heart pounding from three feet
away, and I realised that now I’d seen the deepest maroon of my life.
I chuckled, placing everything aside. The next present was thin, and I peeled the paper off carefully. Inside was a black-and-white hand-drawn picture of Greyfriars Bobby, the famous Skye terrier of Edinburgh, his nose glinting gold. I didn’t need to look at the label to know who that was from. “It’s stunning, Kit. I love it.”
As promised, I’d taken her to the sightseeing spots of Edinburgh, and the sweet little dog had been her favourite. She’d squealed in delight, rubbing his nose for luck, and my eyes had lit up, as they so often did with Kit.
The rest of my presents comprised a thick luscious bathrobe from Ambrosia (the small embroidered label on the breast read “I have a crazy aunt, and I’m not afraid to use her,” so it wasn’t the wildest guess), a new watch and three tickets to see the Scotland rugby team from Emilia (the card advised she was coming with us), and a T-shirt from Cody and Michael, with a picture of a shot glass and the words “I call the shots.”
The final present was tiny, and I turned it in my hands. “Who’s this one from?”
“That’s mine.” Madison’s voice was quiet beside me, and I nodded. Lara had forgiven her, and Emilia had spent time with her, helping her to control her powers. I’d still held a grudge, but I reluctantly let it go one night when Lara cornered me and brazenly told me off. I’d been so taken aback at her courage that I’d admired her for it and had agreed to make friends again.
I unwrapped the present and squinted at the tiny keychain before bursting into laughter. “Are those what I think they are?”
Madison grinned. “Yep. Nipple clamps.”
I howled, pulling out my keys and clipping on the new key ring. Seeing that I liked my gift, she sidled closer, and I pulled her into a hug, leaning close enough to whisper, “I’ve missed those, you know.”
“I’m sure I can find them again.”
“Lose the modesty, pet. You know exactly where they are, and you will bring them to me before the weekend. That’s an order.” Her breath caught in her lungs, and she swallowed hard as I kissed her hair. “Just make sure to trim those nails.”
She giggled, and I looked around at this wonderful gathering. These people had gotten me through the last year, whether they knew why or not, and I couldn’t have done it without them. My heart swelled until I realised someone was missing. “Where’s Althea?”
Emilia put her arm around Madison’s waist and pulled her to her side. She gestured behind me.
I turned around, and my heart leapt into my throat. Althea knelt before me. My pulse accelerated, my vocal cords seized, and my eyes widened. I couldn’t move.
“Harriet. You waited long enough for me, but I can’t wait for you. I didn’t know what love was until you showed me, and now I couldn’t live without it. Will you mar—”
I kissed her. I didn’t let her finish before I crushed my lips against hers, and she gasped. I held her face between my hands, forgetting the rest of the world behind me. I knew the crowd had erupted, but their cheers were muffled, as though I were hearing them from a great distance. All I could hear was a rushing in my ears, and Althea’s soft moan as I deepened the kiss.
Her hand on my chest eventually broke the trance, and we panted together, kneeling on the floor. She held her forehead against me, the biggest smile on her face. I knew tears were streaming down my cheeks, but I had no excuse this time. I didn’t need one, and I didn’t care who saw me. Irrevocable and irrefutable love pulsed through me, and I thought my heart would rupture.
“I’ve been practising that all week, and you didn’t even let me finish,” Althea scolded with a giggle.
I grinned. “Sorry. Do you want to finish now?”
“Harriet, will you marry me?”
“A thousand times over, every day.”
Her lips found mine again, and this time, I heard every deafening cheer, clap, and whistle of the beautiful world around me.
Epilogue
Part 2. The Stranger
Eleven Years Later
I ran faster, my legs burning. I glanced over at Darryl, and his head was down, his arms pumping by his sides as he fought to reach the ball first.
My legs were longer, and I got a foot to the ball, drawing it back and passing to Chris on my left flank, who launched it up the pitch. I gasped, jogging back as I tried to catch my breath.
Hey.
I froze, searching around me. There was no one close by, and I frowned. The voice had sounded like it came from someone standing right beside me, whispering in my ear.
I’m not supposed to talk to strangers, I thought. The ball was moving my way again, but it was quickly deflected and headed away.
Quite right.
I sensed the female voice smile. Her voice reverberated in my skull, like an echo in my mind. I checked around me again.
Who are you? I asked, overcome with curiosity. What’s your name?
Don’t worry about that, she replied. How old are you now?
I frowned at the odd question. 11.
I see.
What do you want?
The voice took a slow breath before she asked, Are you happy?
Yes. Why wouldn’t I be?
I’m just checking, she replied quickly, but I sensed a smile on her lips as she continued, If you are ever in trouble, I want you to ask for me, OK?
Trouble, how? If my teacher finds out I haven’t finished my homework? I snickered, and the voice chuckled.
No. If you don’t do your homework, you’re on your own. I mean, serious trouble. Hopefully, you’ll never need me, but I just had to let you know that if you did, you just need to ask, all right?
But how will I know who to ask for if you won’t tell me your name?
The voice hesitated, but I waited. If this bodiless voice would supposedly come to my heroic rescue one day, I required a name.
Harry.
OK, Harry, I recited. That’s a strange name for a girl.
It’s short for Harriet.
Oh.
The voice went quiet again. I kept my eyes on the ball ahead, but I found I couldn’t focus. I was drawn to the voice of my mystery protector.
Do I get to know your name? she asked softly.
I chewed the inside of my cheek. My dads would be furious if they found out I was speaking to a stranger, but it’s not like she’d offered me sweets and summoned me into her car. Plus, her voice was only in my head, and it made me feel special. Maybe she wasn’t real, and I was just imagining it. So what harm could it do, right? I thought harder before I responded with, I’m not sure.
That’s OK. I shouldn’t be asking, anyway. To be honest, I don’t know if I want to find out.
That’s odd.
She chuckled again. It is a bit. Listen, you can’t tell anybody about me, OK? Not even your parents. They won’t understand.
Why?
Trust me.
I realised I did, but I couldn’t define why. She seemed familiar in a bizarre, inexplicable sort of way. I’d never been to Scotland before, but her accent was recognisable. I exhaled carefully. Ruairidh.
Hmm?
Ruairidh. That’s my name, but my friends call me Rue.
The voice swallowed hard, and she was silent for a long time before she replied, I like it. Very Scottish. She sounded pleased. It means “red-haired king,” if I recall correctly. Do you have red hair?
I giggled. No, just dark brown. I’ve got two different coloured eyes, though, which is super cool. I puffed up my chest proudly. They make my friends jealous. They say I look badass, like a character from a computer game or something.
She laughed out loud. Do you now? That is super cool.
I better get back to the football, I muttered. I didn’t want to, but the ball was moving my way again, and my teammates wouldn’t let me f
orget it if I let the ball slide past me. I straightened my gloves and bent my knees.
You’re a goalkeeper? she asked. Number one on the jersey, right?
Yup. The one and only, I replied, narrowing my eyes and trying to see beyond my defenders. Darryl was dribbling the ball towards me, and I’d be damned if I’d let him score.
The voice laughed again, and somehow, I knew that she’d just grinned from ear to ear. I don’t know how I knew that, I just … knew. My heart swelled.
All right. Well, I’ve spoken to you for too long already. I won’t disturb you again unless you ask for me. But only if you’re in serious trouble, remember?
Got it, Harry.
Goodbye, Rue, she thought, smiling. Stay safe. And don’t talk to strangers.
The Seven Deadly Sins
7. Pride: Harry
Son: Ruairidh (Rue)
6. Lust: Althea
5. Envy: Madison
4. Gluttony: Georgia
Daughter: Ambrosia
3. Wrath: Emilia
2. Greed: Bella
1. Sloth: Riley
The Seven Virtues
7. Humility: Dylan
6. Chastity: Ace
5. Kindness: Adam
4. Temperance: Galen
Daughter: Ambrosia
3. Patience: Jonah
2. Charity: Nikolai
1. Diligence: Zack
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Book 3 in the Pride Trilogy
- Pride’s Humility -