“I think it’s better if I stay away from beautiful women.” I don’t need to elaborate. He knows exactly what I’m talking about.
“Forever?” He gives me a look letting me know he thinks I am crazy. “I mean, you’re a grown ass man and I’m not your father, but I think you’ve punished yourself enough.”
“I don’t have a good track record with women. A no-strings-attached approach has been working for me.”
“Uh huh. Sure. That’s why you spend most of your time with me. An old retired asshole that bosses you around too much.”
I laugh and sucker punch his arm. “You suit me just fine.”
“Maybe, but what about that sweet girl that we just met? She could be really good for you.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes and take a deep breath. Maybe she could be really good for me. For now I’ll take his comments and file them away.
“It doesn’t really matter anyway. For all we know she’s heading back home.”
As the words come out of my mouth I feel panic set in. How the hell could a woman make me feel so conflicted in the span of ten minutes? Since I came to Winterhaven with Jack, I have purposely avoided women. Now all of the sudden I feel panic at the thought of Bree leaving town without giving me a chance to get to know her. Intimately.
“She’s not leaving. She’s here to expand her business actually…a coffee shop. Sounds like one smart, determined, hard working young lady if you ask me.”
I slowly release the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. Knowing she’ll be in town, even if I can’t have her, makes me feel at ease again.
Perfect timing, we pull up to Jack’s cabin just as I’m ready for a change in conversation.
“We’re here.” I put the truck in park and am out before he can comment on how good I am at avoiding things I don’t want to deal with. I’ve heard it all before.
Together we unload the truck and haul all of the lumber to the porch. The wood stairs are all rotted out, making the entire structure at risk of falling apart. Our first job is to pull off all of the old wood that will need to be replaced. I get right to work. Breaking shit apart has become therapy for me. I find I’m able to clear my head and think straight when I’m doing hard physical labor.
“So what do you think? We gonna finish this project up before the first snow?” It’s a big job for just two men, but we can handle it. We’ve already done most of the renovating. Now it’s just a matter of the odds and ends.
“We’ll beat the snow,” I say. “You just need to stop taking so many breaks, old man.”
“Is that so? Listen up, I’ve earned my leisure, son. That’s why I have you around anyway. I need someone to do the heavy lifting around here.”
“I like it.” The heavy lifting and the cabin. I look around, taking in the cabin and the land. It is private here, peaceful.
“I thought you would.”
And with that, we are back to work. We pull off all the old boards and are ready to start rebuilding. I focus on the work. The physical exertion of hauling lumber, pounding nails, and fitting all of the pieces together is really helping to take my mind off of Bree. A few more days of this and I’ll have her out of my head altogether. This is a small town, but not that small. I’m sure I’ll see her again, here or there, but nothing that I can’t handle.
Hours later I’m sitting at a table in the corner of a sketchy bar. The floor is dirty under the table and my boot keeps sticking to the floor. Normally I would just assume it’s beer, but the smell of stale piss assaulting my nose has my stomach turning.
I glance at my watch to verify what I already know. He’s late. Not that I expected him to be on time, but I just want to get this over with. I don’t like the look of the guys sitting up at the bar. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice one of them keeps looking in my direction. I’m trying to remain as invisible as possible; my plan is to get in and out without any trouble.
Eventually the guy from the bar gets up and walks over. He stands to my side before slowly sitting across from me. The beer in his hand sloshes onto the table as he pulls his chair in. Now I know where the stale piss smell comes from.
“You Boyer?” he asks.
“Yup. And you are?”
“Doesn’t matter. Holt sent me.”
“I thought he was going to come himself.”
“He didn’t, did he? You have something for me?”
I want to punch this guy in his stupid mouth but I swallow my ego and try to remember why I’m here in the first place. I reach into the breast pocket in my jacket and pull out an envelope.
“Here it is, all of it. She’s free and clear now. All debts paid.”
“If that’s the deal.”
“That’s the deal Holt and I agreed on. So there’s no reason for me to hear from any of you again.”
“If you say so, Mr. Boyer. It’s a pleasure doing business with you.” He brings his glass to his lips and takes a long drink before reaching over and taking the envelope. His eyes stay trained on me the entire time.
Wanting to get away from this creep, I nod, stand up slowly and walk out of the bar. As soon as the door closes behind me I allow myself to release the breath I’ve been holding. It’ll take a beer and a shower at home to erase the feeling I get every time I’m around these guys. Seeing as this is the last time I’ll see them, maybe an extra beer is in order.
Ever since I drove into town a few weeks ago, people have been so kind to me. I’ve been staying at The Cozy Cottage while Jack continues the process of renovating his cabin about twenty minutes outside of town. When he’s finished, he’s going to rent it to me.
Then he went and gave me a job at his bar.
Jack has a lot of helpful and friendly people that work for him. Abbey is a petite little thing with a pixie hair cut, big brown eyes and a permanent smile on her face. What she is lacking in size she makes up for with personality.
Zeke is sweet and most likely every girl’s best friend. His curly brown hair and lop-sided grin make you feel right at home.
Quinn looks like the typical fit athlete with the flirty personality to match. My first impression of him is that his brawn is bigger than his brains, but he’s a charmer and I like being around him.
Then there’s Heath. He also works at Jack’s bar as the bouncer. He’s classically handsome with his perfectly proportioned features. I can’t decide if his soulful brown eyes or his luscious full lips are my favorite. He’s not overly social, which is something I learned from our first introduction. He also didn’t seem happy when Jack reintroduced us the first night I came in to work. My heart still pounds when I look into his eyes, even though he seems indifferent to me. I would even say he goes out of his way to avoid me. I continually tell myself it’s better not to even think about him.
It’s late afternoon and the lunch crowd is just starting to dissipate. We’re usually packed and it didn’t take me long to figure out why: the food is really good. They make a pub burger that’ll add a few inches to my waistline, but it’s so spectacular it will be worth it.
I’m clearing tables and getting things ready for the night shift. I’ve been working wherever and whenever Jack needs me. My shift ends in five minutes and then I’m heading out to get ready for my first night out since I came to town.
Abbey and I have the night off tonight and she’s taking me to a dance club in the next town over. I offered to take her out for a drink or two for all of the help she has given me in learning the routines at the bar. She accepted and also added dancing to the evening’s agenda.
After taking care of the dirty dishes in the kitchen, I make my way to the staff room, the tiny space next to Jack’s office where everyone keeps their personal items while they’re on shift. Finding my things, I pull on my coat, wrap my scarf around my neck and start digging around in my purse for my keys. My head is down as I walk out of the room and around the corner. I run head first into Heath.
Of course I don’t realize it’s Heath at first.
&
nbsp; “Oh, I’m so sorry…I was looking for my keys.” My explanation and apology fades to a whisper. My stomach starts doing flips. We are standing so close and his arms are around me to steady me from our collision. Those brown eyes have a way of making me forget who I am. He takes a step back and drops his arms.
“You’re anxious to leave,” he says. Still no smile but his eyes continue to hold my gaze. I inhale his scent and go weak in the knees. He smells like fresh scented soap and a light whisper of cologne.
After my surprise fades that he has actually stopped to talk to me, I manage to find my voice again. “Abbey and I are going dancing tonight. I was heading back to the inn to change.”
“The Journey Dance Club in Rio?”
“Uh…I guess so. She just said dance club.”
“You like to dance?”
“I suppose,” I say, shrugging my shoulders. Up until this point he hasn’t given me any of his attention. This sudden shift has me feeling self conscious. I find myself having a hard time holding eye contact. I desperately want to look at my feet or start sifting through my purse again. Anywhere but at his face where his handsome features make me forget all of the reasons I have compiled as to why he is no good for me.
He gives me a funny look before the corner of his mouth actually turns up in the semblance of a smile. It changes his face completely. Up until this point I have only seen the serious, brooding side of Heath. I have a feeling there’s a lot more to learn about him. I surprise myself by realizing that I would like to know more about him. Somehow Heath is managing to make his way into my head.
“Abbey convinced you to go dancing with her.” It’s a statement, not a question.
“Yes. It’s one of the conditions of getting a drink tonight.”
“Have a good time,” he says.
“Thanks.” I walk around him and head straight for the door. I turn back as my shoulder pushes the door open into the parking lot, just in time to notice how quickly he averts his gaze from me and walks away into the bar.
Abbey and I stand in the center of The Journey. It’s different than I thought it would be; new and modern with high back booths along the walls and modern square tables and chairs sprinkled around closer to the bar. The bar itself is immense, taking up the entire wall when you first walk in. The opposite side of the club is the dance floor complete with strobe lights and a DJ booth with the latest speaker technology. It is full to capacity tonight. It is the type of dance club I would have expected to see in the city, not on the outskirts of a small town. I immediately feel out of my element.
“Drinks, booth or dance floor?” Abbey has to yell into my ear to be heard above the music and crowd.
“I think I need a drink.” We smile at each other and make our way to the bar.
We weave through the crowd and search for an open space at the bar. I order a cranberry and vodka and make a point to take a few big sips to help settle my nerves.
“Whoa, slow down girl! We don’t want to have to peel you off the floor to get you home tonight.” I turn and smile at the sound of Quinn’s voice.
“Don’t worry about that.” I give him a quick hug. Zeke swoops in from behind and sneaks a quick hug too. “What are you two doing here? I thought you guys had to work until closing?” I am actually delighted to see them. They are both genuinely nice guys. They have apparently been here for awhile already, their drinks are half gone.
“It’s three of us actually,” Zeke says. “Heath is here too. It was dead at the bar tonight so Jack told us we all could leave early.”
At the mention of Heath’s name I immediately feel butterflies form in my stomach. I always have an array of emotions when I am around him. Above all else, I think he makes me feel uncomfortable because I am attracted to him. I’m not good with men in general, especially not men that I find attractive. While I enjoy the feeling of this new crush, I didn’t move to a new town to immediately complicate my life again with another man.
Not that it’s even an option. Up until earlier tonight he hadn’t even acknowledged that he was aware of my presence. He is very good at blowing me off. So, as I have been doing since I met him, I make myself ignore how he makes me feel.
“Where’s Heath?” Abbey’s still shouting.
“He was mauled by some ladies as soon we walked in the club. We might not see him for awhile.” Zeke and Quinn laugh. I feel a strange tug in my chest. I guess I was right about him being a handsome ladies man.
“Let’s go dance,” Abbey says as she pulls on my arm. “You guys want to come too?”
“Sure. Let’s do this, man.” Quinn turns to Zeke. “Slam your drink on three.” Quinn counts to three and they both tip their glasses back and chug the rest of their beer. We all head out to the dance floor, fighting through the crowd of people.
We find an opening in the sea of people and start to dance. I try to turn off my mind and enjoy the feeling of the music but within a few minutes, I begin to feel the crowd pressing in on me. Maybe I drank too quickly or maybe I’m just not use to crowds like this but I feel a wave of panic wash over me.
“Abbey, I need to get some air,” I say.
“Sure, you okay?”
“Yes, fine. I’ll be right back.” And as quickly as I can, I push my way back through the crowd and out the front door. It’s a cold night but the air feels good and it is significantly quieter out here than inside. I walk away from the bar to avoid the people going in and out and lean against the wall. I take deep breaths to help myself calm down. I’m terrified that I am going to have a panic attack, and I don’t want that to happen in this strange place with new friends.
Eventually, I slide down the wall and wrap my arms around myself to try to keep warm. I close my eyes as the realization hits…I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back inside tonight. I haven’t been out to a bar or club in a long time. My ex never liked it; he’d get mad if I danced or talked to other people. Finally I just gave it up altogether and started staying home. It didn’t feel worth the fight to me.
I sit like this for a few more minutes until I sense someone watching me. I open my eyes and look back toward the bar. Heath is standing outside the bar facing me but not looking in my direction. I immediately feel self conscious. There is no way I want him to see me having a meltdown out here. He doesn’t need to know that I have a steaming shit pile of issues. Hoping he hasn’t seen me, I get to my feet and start to walk further away from the bar. I’ve only gone about a block when I feel a hand grab my shoulder. I jump a foot as I spin around, my hand clutching my chest just over my heart. Heath is standing right in front of me.
“Holy shit! You scared me!” Without even thinking I smack his shoulder to show him how pissed I am. It’s like hitting a freaking rock.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I just didn’t think you should be out here by yourself.” He shrugs his jacket off and hands it to me. “Here, it’s cold.”
“No,” I say a little too aggressively. “I mean, thank you, but I’m okay. I just need a minute and I’ll be back inside.” I want to emphasize that I need a minute by myself but that just seems rude.
“I’ll stay with you until you’re ready to head back in.” He says it in a very matter of fact way. As if the option of me saying no isn’t even on the table.
“I’m fine, really. I just need a minute. To myself.” I know I’m not acting like my normal polite self, but having Heath stand here while I work through my current issue isn’t helping me. He makes me feel even more self conscious because of how Goddamn handsome he is.
“Drink too much?” I guess he’s going to completely ignore my pleas for him to leave me alone for a bit.
“No,” I say. “Just needed some air.”
Instead of responding right away, he just stands quietly in front of me. I wrap my arms around myself to keep warm and break eye contact to look at my feet. There is something about his intense gaze; I can’t hold it for long. This time he has a bit of a scowl between his eyes and I can t
ell he’s trying to figure me out. Without asking this time, he takes his jacket and wraps it around my shoulders.
“I can take you home if you want,” he says.
Going home makes me feel defeated. Normal people go out to bars and have fun with their friends. Tonight was supposed to be my first attempt at doing normal things again, a step toward moving on and really living my life. Not just trying to make it through the day and then going home by myself where everything feels safe.
He must have sensed my hesitation. “You can just tell everyone that you have a headache.”
Thinking back to what Zeke and Quinn said when they got to the bar tonight I say, “I’m sure you’re not ready to go home yet. The night is just starting.”
“I’d actually love to have an excuse to get out of here.” He turns to look at me and the corner of his mouth turns up, revealing a dimple. I give myself a minute to enjoy how handsome he is.
“Then I’d be happy to help you out. I should let Abbey know that I’m leaving.”
The nights are definitely getting colder as winter approaches. Heath puts his hand on my back as we walk together to the parking lot. I’m not sure if Abbey bought my headache excuse, but she didn’t try to convince me to stay once she realized Heath would be taking me home.
I love and hate how safe he makes me feel all at the same time. I could get used to it. I see the lights flash on the black pick-up truck that signals the doors are now unlocked. Before I am able to open the passenger side door, Heath is there and opens it for me. This show of chivalry surprises me. He doesn’t seem like the type to open doors for people.
“Thank you.” I have to really step high to pull myself up into the truck and I feel his hand on my arm to help me onto the seat. He is really gentle, just letting me know he is there in case I need him. He closes the door once I am in and walks around to the other side. The next thing I know, we are pulling out of the parking lot and leaving The Journey in the review mirror.
Being in this small space together, I immediately notice how good he smells again. It’s a distinctly male smell, in a good fresh out of the shower way.
A Cautious Heart (The Heart's Temptation Series Book 1) Page 2