by Snow, Jenika
It had been so long since she had allowed herself the pleasure of company, since she’d felt safe enough to let herself just live. Adrian had showed her on two occasions now that he was protective, saving her when he didn’t have to get involved.
“Shit, I’m sorry I put you on the spot. I feel like an asshole now. You’ve just been through some shit and here I am being a pathetic fuck and asking you to dinner.”
She found herself reaching out and grabbing his thick forearm. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said softly. When her hand touched his warm, hard flesh, Brea found it hard to breathe. Letting go of his arm, she was the one that felt like a dumbass now. “I’m sorry.” What else was she supposed to say?
A small gasp escaped her when she felt his big hand take her much smaller one and clutch it. She brought her gaze up, not knowing what to expect to see in his expression, but what she saw left her dizzy and breathless.
Need.
5
Adrian was a fucking fool. A dumb motherfucker for even entertaining the idea that there could be something between them. If his past hadn’t been a good enough reason to stay away from her, his aggression and hatred of himself, and the fact she was clearly dealing with her own problems, should have sealed the deal. But the truth was he wanted to protect her, wanted to keep her safe, keep her close.
He wanted to make her his, make sure no one ever fucked with her again.
It was clear she had past issues as well, especially after he saw her reaction to being touched by the drunks. Sure, any woman might have reacted like that, but when he had looked into her eyes both times, he’d seen honest fear that came from experience.
Even the thought of someone hurting Brea had his hand that wasn’t holding hers curling into a tight fist.
They stared at each other for several long moments, and he wondered if she could see all the need and want he had for her. The feelings were crazy and possessive … obsession. His emotions were powerful and all-consuming. Nothing was said, and then she pulled her hand away and walked past him.
“Please, Brea.” Was he actually begging her to go out to dinner with him? Fuck, he hadn’t been on a date since … shit … years.
She looked at him, indecision sweeping across her expression. Never in his life had he wanted something as much as he wanted her. Even if all she did was allow him that one dinner, he would accept it with a smile and a thank you.
The emotion was fresh and raw and had a building storm of turmoil growing inside of him. This woman before him, whom he hardly knew, made him feel things he had never felt, that he thought he could never feel again.
“Okay.”
Her whispered agreement had his pulse accelerating. Who knew one little word could make him feel so much? “Okay?” It was stated as a question even though hers hadn’t been.
“Yes.” The smile that touched her lips was endearing and a little on the shy side.
He couldn’t help his grin as he looked down at her.
“Here.” Digging into his pocket, he searched for a scrap of paper and pen. When he came up empty, he glanced at the small black apron tied around her waist. He could see her pen and order tablet sticking out from one of the pockets.
She glanced down to where he was looking at. “Here.” When she handed him the pen and the tablet, he tore off a sheet of paper and jotted his number down on it. When he gave everything back, he noticed how her hands slightly shook as she took it out of his grasp.
“Hey.” He waited until she looked at him again before he continued. “You’re in control here, okay?” After a second she visibly relaxed. At that moment he wanted to find the guy who’d hurt her, that had her feeling like she was helpless, and beat him until all his rage and all her pain were gone.
She glanced down at his number for a second before she shoved it in her pocket and started writing something on a blank page. When she tore it off and handed it to him and he saw her number written on it, he couldn’t help his smile or the way excitement coursed through him. Shit, she had him wrapped around her finger already.
He was thankful for a lot of damn things, but right now, at this exact moment, he was so very thankful that she trusted him enough to give him those ten little digits.
* * *
Giving Adrian her number had Brea contemplating if that had been the best course of action. Since moving away, she’d done everything in her power to go unnoticed, and here she was, at the very first opportunity, giving away pieces of herself.
One more look in the mirror confirmed she was ready for her date tonight. Did she really want affection so badly that she would risk everything she’d worked so hard for?
Adrian had offered to pick her up, but she’d declined. She needed to keep her independence, her calm and collection. They were to meet up at a little Italian restaurant on Hickory Ridge Street. Her nerves were shot to hell, her palms were sweating, and her heart raced.
“Why am I doing this? Why am I being so damn foolish?”
Take control of my life. Live it the way I want to.
Grabbing her keys and purse, she double-checked to make sure her pepper spray was safely stashed away in the inside pocket. Smoothing her hands down the front of her jeans, she headed out the door.
Primos was a renowned restaurant that specialized in homemade pasta and sauces. It was a ten-minute drive from where she lived, the center of town, which was a hell of a lot nicer than her current residence.
When she walked in, the smell of garlic and tomatoes surrounding her. Brea looked around the small, almost intimate interior. The two-seater tables were situated in the center of the room with the booths pressed up against the walls. She didn’t see Adrian, but several of the booths faced away from her, so it was possible he was seated in one of them.
“Evening, miss. Table for one?”
Brea drew her attention to the hostess booth to her right and the young, extremely attractive redhead behind it. “I, uh…I’m meeting someone here.”
The hostess smiled. “Of course. I can take you to a table to wait.”
“Brea?”
Adrian’s deep and gravelly voice had her turning around and all thoughts leaving her mind. Just one look at him had her common sense taking a vacation. The dark slacks and loafers he wore were casual but sophisticated, unlike the way she’d seen him thus far. Before, he’d looked so savage almost. But now he looked refined, brutally handsome.
He wore a crisp, light blue button-down shirt that matched his eyes. The sleeves were rolled up his forearms, showing a few sharp lines from his tattoos, making him appear a little on the bad-boy side. He came up beside her and smiled. They held each other’s gazes for a long moment before he glanced at the hostess.
“Table for two, please.”
They were led to a booth and left with menus, waiting for their server. The air was thick, silence stretching between them.
Sitting right across from him made her acutely aware that she couldn’t escape his gaze. Her cheeks felt warm, and they only became hotter the longer he watched her. She took that time to stare at him as well. His dirty blond hair was short but long enough that he pulled off the slightly messy look. Maybe he didn’t like being the one under examination, because a moment later he brought his attention to his menu.
Clearing her throat, she let her attention fall to her menu as well. Their waitress came by and took their orders. Adrian ordered a bottle of Moscato, looking at her almost sheepishly, as if he didn’t know for sure if he’d crossed a line by ordering a bottle.
They were left alone again, and the conversation stayed fairly safe, maybe a little tense and unsure at first. To sum it up, they didn’t talk about anything personal, which led Brea to believe that maybe Adrian had a few secrets of his own.
“So, how did you start fighting in the underground?” Voice pitched low so no one but him would hear, she cast a glance at Adrian. Brea had been contemplating sticking to neutral subjects, but her curiosity had gotten the better of her. Despit
e all her internal admonishments to keep her distance, she found herself wanting to know more about him.
Their meals arrived, and they ate for the first few moments in silence.
“I’m sorry, that really isn’t any of my business.” Everyone had their own reasons for doing things, especially her, and his silence told her she might have just asked the wrong question. Maybe he fights because of his past? It wasn’t an implausible concept.
“No, you didn’t say anything wrong. It’s just—” He took a sip of his wine before looking at her, the silence stretching out once again. “I started fighting because I lost someone a long time ago.” It was clear he held things back. Just like she did, was.
Maybe they weren’t so different after all.
6
The dejected way she looked pulled at Adrian’s heart. “Hey now, don’t close up on me.” He moved out of his seat and slid into hers. She visibly stiffened, but when he didn’t make a move to touch her, she relaxed and looked up at him. His breath stalled at the hopelessness reflected in her gaze.
What the hell happened to her that would make her look so lost?
A large lump formed in his throat, and he swallowed it, forcing it down. He lifted his hand, moving it slowly toward her face so he didn’t spook her, and brushed a lock of hair off her forehead. Her eyes looked impossibly big and blue on her face, and her creamy skin glowed under the soft lighting. The urge to kiss her was stronger than anything he’d ever felt before. The question was, would she let him, or would his actions scare her away?
Was he crossing a line right now, pushing her too fast, too hard?
He wasn’t sure any longer, because what his brain was telling him he should do and what his heart was saying he needed to do were throwing fists at each other.
“Brea?” He said her name softly. He watched the change in her, the way her pupils dilated, the fact that her breathing increased. He saw her pulse beat faster right below her ear. “I want to kiss you desperately,” he whispered.
“Adrian.” She said his name so low surely he’d been the only one to hear.
“Can I kiss you? Is this okay?” He still hadn’t moved, hadn’t wanted to push her. God, he wanted her, wanted to touch the skin right below her ear, the spot that looked so soft, where her pulse beat rapidly.
She licked her lips and looked down at his mouth, nodding slowly, almost hesitantly.
He leaned in slowly as he held her gaze with his, stopping right before his lips touched hers. She hadn’t pulled away, and her breathing had changed to short, quick pants. Everything inside of him roared out at the knowledge that she was just as affected as he was.
“Brea.” He could feel her warm breath sweep across his lips. “I want to know it’s okay to kiss you,” he whispered, needing her to say the words before he went any further. He heard her swallow, and when she whispered “yes,” he didn’t waste another moment.
When his lips finally pressed against hers, he groaned. They were just as soft as they looked. As her mouth opened for him, he slipped his tongue inside and brought his hands up to frame her face.
God, she tastes so fucking good. Her tongue against his was hesitant at first, but that was okay because this would be soft and gentle, sweet and easy. He’d never rush her, never pressure her.
He let his thumbs caress the skin covering her cheekbones, and felt her lean into him more. Yes, that was what he needed. Tilting her head more to the side, he didn’t deepen the kiss, just kept a gentle pressure of his mouth along hers. A little sound of need came from her.
He could have been classified as a fucking saint right then for the self-control he exuded.
“Adrian.” The way she said the word against his lips, all breathy and needy, had his cock throbbing against the fly of his jeans.
“Does it feel good, Brea? Is this okay?” That’s all he wanted to hear, that she felt good, that he made her feel good. She didn’t respond with words. Instead she pressed her mouth against his, giving him the answer he’d been seeking.
Fuck. Yes.
Had anything ever sounded sweeter? He didn’t think so. The sound of someone clearing their throat had Brea pulling away. He looked at her, her cheeks painted a pretty red color. She was embarrassed, and he couldn’t help but smile.
He turned and accepted the check from the waitress, who looked just as embarrassed as Brea did. When they were alone again, he took Brea’s hand in his and brought it to his mouth, laying a soft kiss on her palm.
* * *
Kissing Adrian had been the last thing she thought would happen tonight, but as he stared at her, had her fear and anxiety leaving, even for that one moment, she said to hell with her restraint. He was the first man in a long time, maybe ever, to make her feel so much need. He was big and strong, but his kiss had been soft and sweet, one that had her longing for so much more.
When she was with Adrian, she felt lighter, free. Brea felt like the world was hers again, that she wasn’t running from a past that would catch up to her sooner rather than later.
But the night was coming to an end, and as she sat in her car, the silence stretching on, the memories of their kiss a tingling sensation on her lips, all she could do was smile.
It was the first time in so long that she’d felt a smile was genuine.
She was proud of herself for doing this tonight.
* * *
Several weeks later
Brea felt like she’d been smiling for the last few weeks, and it was all because of Adrian. It was all because she’d given herself a chance to be normal, to go after something she wanted. And she didn’t regret it.
Since dinner with him several days ago, they’d gone out to lunch almost every day. Adrian might seem frightening in the cage, but with her he was sweet, gentle … considerate. She couldn’t remember another time when she had felt so comfortable with someone.
Adrian’s massive presence didn’t change the fact that he was a gentle giant with her. She’d realized that after their first dinner. Lying on her bed, she stared at the stained ceiling and felt her lips tingle in remembrance of their kiss, the ones he gave her every time they parted ways. He never rushed her, didn’t pressure her into anything more than she was willing to give him.
And as crazy as all of this sounded, Brea found herself wanting so much more with him. She found herself wanting to know what it felt like to have his big, hard and muscular body pressed against hers. She wanted to feel his hands on her naked form, wanted to get lost in the pleasure that she knew he could give her.
Hell, if their kisses were anything to go by, Adrian would have all common sense leaving her once she finally gave herself to him.
And she would. She wanted to desperately. But on the heels of that, all she kept telling herself was how foolish she was. What a stupid girl to get involved with a man when all she was trying to do was escape another one. God, she hadn’t even been honest with him yet, hadn’t told him about Cameron, about what her life was really like.
Because when I’m with him, I don’t think about those things.
Closing her eyes, she exhaled and knew that she’d have to either break it off with him or tell him the truth and see where things went.
Adrian. Her strong, protective fighter. Even now all she could think about was how she’d seen him just hours ago, how he’d held her hand … how she’d felt so at ease.
Their lunch today had been simple, but it had been so much more for her. His light banter, the way he teased her, had made her feel at ease. It’d been so long since she’d felt the emotion that it scared and confused her all in the same breath.
His understanding when she closed up during their more intimate talks went a long way toward making her trust in him grow. It was still early in their…whatever the hell they were. There was no rush for anything.
Well, that actually wasn’t true.
Her cell dinged with an incoming text, and she smiled because she knew exactly who it was. Only one person would text her, had texte
d her since she started living in this town.
I can’t stop smiling because all I can think about is you.
Maybe she was letting her heart and emotions get in the way. He’d already far surpassed her expectations of how she’d always wanted a man to treat her. But the one question that kept rearing its ugly-ass head was if all of this was too good to be true.
If Adrian was too good to be true.
* * *
Adrian watched as his opponent fell to the blood-covered mat. His knuckles were swollen and split open, but the pain couldn’t mask the euphoria he currently felt. He tracked Brea’s movements in the crowd. Something inside of him was slowly growing, warming for this woman. He’d fallen hard and fast for her, and although they’d really just started getting to know each other, he knew what he wanted.
Brea. Only her.
If I want to get closer to her, I need to be honest.
Even though he wanted her under him, wanted to have his cock buried between her thighs, he was letting her take control. She hadn’t opened up about her past, but then again, neither had he.
That had to change.
Just looking at Brea’s sweet face pushed all thoughts of his past away. He knew he would have to tell her everything eventually, and he wanted to. The more time he spent with her, the harder it was not telling her the truth about who he really was.
Brea glanced up at him, and their gazes locked. It never failed. Just that one look and he wanted to jump over the damn cage and wrap her in his arms. Hell, he was acting like a fucking caveman.
The chemistry between them was so fucking explosive he couldn’t even breathe.
“Damn, man. You are one fucking animal in the cage.” Coots slapped him on the back, and Adrian tensed.
He didn’t know Coots well enough to be chummy. A thick envelope was thrust at him, and he took it and ducked into the side room to get cleaned up. He’d just finished his last fight for the night, had actually requested the rest of the week off. He wanted to do something special with Brea, wanted to take her somewhere that it could just be the two of them.