She wouldn’t tell him she was coming. She wouldn’t even need to tell anyone at the hospital where she was going. The mission could be accomplished on her next couple of days off. And maybe, just maybe Guy might be happy to see her again. He might even welcome the idea of becoming a father if it was forced on him.
Never mind those emphatic statements he had made about not planning on having kids and having no space in his life for them. It was another remembered comment that seemed of far greater significance at this moment. What had that woman said in the eavesdropped conversation? ‘If anyone needs a family, that young man does.’
Jennifer was unaware of the tears trickling down her face. She needed a family, too. A complete family. Something she hadn’t had since she was eight years old. Was that what the appeal of having a baby was all about? That she would have someone to love who would love her back?
But it wasn’t just the baby she wanted, was it?
Jennifer wanted Guy as well.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ESCAPE was no longer an option.
By the time Guy had seen who was sitting on his doorstep there was no way he could follow his instincts, turn around and drive away like the proverbial bat out of hell.
Jennifer Allen was the last person he had expected—or wanted—to see again. Especially now, just when he was finally starting to piece his life back together again.
Tearing an incredulous stare away from the figure of his unwanted visitor, Guy drove straight past the entrance to his home, through the archway in the old macrocarpa hedge and into the corrugated-iron shed that served as a garage. With the engine on his four-wheel-drive Toyota silent, the sound of the rain beating on the tin roof was obvious, but it didn’t even occur to Guy to hurry and rescue the person sheltering from the weather under the overhang of his small porch.
Nearly seven weeks had passed since that fateful sightseeing flight. Six weeks since Guy had attended the funeral marking the end of the most significant chapter of his life. He had witnessed the burial of the closest person he’d had to a remaining family member and, as far as he was concerned, any fallout from the crash and his brief encounter with Professor Jennifer Allen had been buried right along with Digger.
Now she was here and even a glimpse had brought everything rushing back. Guy didn’t realise he had his eyes screwed tightly shut or that his hands were bunched into fists. It was the anxious whine from the back seat of the car that snapped him into focussing on the present again.
‘It’s OK, guys.’ The soothing tone was automatic. ‘I’ll sort it.’
Climbing down from the driver’s seat, Guy opened the back door and his two dogs jumped clear of the vehicle. Jake, the sleek black retriever, shoved his nose into Guy’s hand and Jessie, his golden counterpart, circled his legs. Both animals could clearly sense his tension and Guy grinned as he scratched a set of golden ears and then black ones.
‘I’m not really bothered,’ he lied. ‘We’re through the worst of all this, so it isn’t going to make that much difference, is it?’
The dogs grinned back, tongues lolling and dark eyes offering all the comfort he might need. They were in complete agreement but Guy knew they were all kidding themselves. Of course seeing Jennifer would make a difference. The unknown factor was just how much of the healing would be scraped painfully away.
Guy turned up the collar of his oilskin coat and hunched his shoulders as he headed towards the curtain of rain screening the open side of the shed. It had been such a struggle to get as far as he had in the last few weeks. Grief had stalked him constantly, ready to take over at unexpected moments and sabotage whatever progress he’d thought he was making. Nightmares of the actual crash and the horror of watching Digger die had made sleep an undesirable necessity for weeks.
Fantasies involving the feel and even taste of Jennifer’s body had added an even more unwelcome dimension to a state of emotional upheaval. Juxtaposed with grief, memories of this woman had taken on a dishonourable—even shameful—aura. That was why he had never wanted to see her again, and that was what was uppermost in his mind as he approached his house.
‘Hullo, Jenna,’ he said stiffly. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’
She looked cold. A soft-looking black woollen coat was pulled around her shoulders and covered her as far as the top of what had to be a replacement pair of long black boots, but her face was pinched and rather pale. Her smile looked forced as well, but that could be due to his unwelcoming tone as much as the cold.
‘Hello, Guy.’ Jennifer stood up. ‘Sorry. I do realise this is a bit of a surprise for you. I…ah…wanted to talk to you.’
The dogs moved from sentry duty on either side of Guy to investigate the stranger. Jake offered a paw that left a muddy streak on the elegant black coat, but Guy wasn’t about to apologise or reprimand his pet.
‘I do have a telephone.’
‘I didn’t have your number.’
‘You seem to have found my address.’
‘That wasn’t hard.’ Jennifer was looking down at the dogs who were both now sitting in front of her, plumed tails waving a greeting. A genuine smile tweaked the corners of her mouth ‘I dropped in at the Glenfalloch pub and told the woman behind the bar that I was a friend of yours but I’d lost the directions for finding your house.’ The sentence was broken by a bout of shivering. ‘Would it be possible to go inside, do you think? I’m freezing.’
Guy said nothing as he stepped past her to open the door.
‘I thought it would be locked,’ Jennifer exclaimed. ‘I didn’t think of trying it.’
‘No.’ Guy’s tone was dry. ‘I don’t suppose you leave doors unlocked where you come from.’
Jennifer ignored the attempt to make her feel displaced. ‘The woman at the pub was very helpful and there was a man with an astonishingly big white beard that drew me a map on the back of a coaster.’
Guy had picked up an old towel lying beside the collection of outdoor footwear on the flagstones and was busy drying dog paws. He would be having a word with both Maureen and Mack in the near future. They had probably recognised Jennifer thanks to her having had her face splashed all over the newspapers, and half the community probably knew by now that she was visiting. Maybe they were all wondering, as he was, why on earth she had come back.
‘Bit of a stretch of the imagination, calling us friends, wasn’t it?’
‘Seemed as good a word as any.’
Guy rose from his crouch and met her stare. It certainly wasn’t coming from a stranger, the way it touched something deep inside that he had no wish to identify. A space he’d never known existed, in fact. There was no denying they had a bond. Maybe any fellow survivors of a disaster had that. Or maybe it had sprung from a night of pretending they were lovers. Whatever it was, it was unsettling.
Dangerous.
‘You’d better come in, then.’ Guy opened a heavy wooden door and the warmth from the coal range in the cottage kitchen drew an exclamation of pleasure from Jennifer. She walked straight towards the source of the warmth but her head was turning from side to side as she gazed at her surroundings.
‘This is gorgeous,’ she pronounced. ‘It’s really old, isn’t it?’
‘This part is the original settler’s cottage. The stone walls are over half a metre thick. There have been additions, of course, but they’ve all been made in keeping with the style and trying to use the same materials.’ Guy bypassed the kitchen to head for the large open fireplace where he set a match to the crumpled newspaper and pine cones in the grate.
He waited until the kindling caught and then added some larger pieces of firewood. He was taken back instantly to the night beside that lake, where he’d made the fire that had probably kept them both from succumbing to hypothermia. The memory of caring for her feet only served as a reminder of how much more intimately he had touched this woman. Guy bent a thick branch across his knee until it snapped, making a crack that resounded off the thick walls of the cottage like gunf
ire.
Jessie cringed and wagged her tail apologetically and Guy ruffled her head in reassurance. The touch grounded him enough to shake off those dangerous memories and he straightened, brushing dust from his hands.
‘How’s your arm?’ he enquired politely. ‘I see you’ve got rid of the cast already.’ Jennifer had taken her coat off and draped it over one of the spindle-backed chairs surrounding the old kauri table.
‘It was a clean break and it healed fast.’ Jennifer was looking at her hand as she flexed her fingers. ‘I’ll just need to make sure I don’t stress it too much for a few more weeks.’ She looked up. ‘How’s the ankle?’
‘Fine. It was only a hairline fracture. I think Hugh insisted on putting it in a cast just to slow me down a bit. Anyway, I took it tramping again last week and it held up.’ Guy ducked automatically as he walked under the huge beam that separated the low ceiling of the living area from the lean-to kitchen. He filled an old cast-iron kettle with water and put it on top of the coal range, then turned his attention to finding coffee mugs.
Last week’s excursion had marked the real turning point in Guy’s recovery. The trip to what had been a favourite haunt for both himself and Digger, deep in the wilds of Fiordland, had been gruelling, both physically and emotionally, but it had also been exactly what he’d needed.
With no one to hear sobs torn from his soul, he had been able to give his grief free rein and come to terms with the fact that he was, for the first time in his life, completely alone in the world. And there had been a kind of peace to be found in the knowledge. He was responsible for only his own happiness and he would find that again in his work and community. In his home, his pets and especially in his surroundings.
He belonged here. Any errant thoughts of attempting city life again in order to re-establish contact with Jennifer could be dismissed as the kind of reckless dependence on another person that had created such deep misery in the past. And the present, given the depth of his grief at losing Digger.
Guy spooned coffee into the mugs. ‘Do you take milk?’
‘No, thanks. Just black. No sugar either.’
He set the mugs on the table and sat down. The sooner they got this over with, the sooner he could reclaim the kind of peace he’d found on that solitary walk. But Jennifer didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get to the point of this visit and the silence began to feel uncomfortable.
‘So…’ Guy cleared his throat. ‘You’re back at work, then?’
‘Of course. I only took a week off.’
‘Busy?’
‘Very. What about you?’
‘Average workload. It wouldn’t impress you but it keeps me busy enough.’ Guy swallowed a mouthful of his coffee. ‘I’ve been helping out for a day or two every week in Bill’s practice in Te Anau. It took a while to find a locum.’
‘It must have been a shock for the community.’
‘Yeah. The town virtually closed for the funeral.’
‘And Digger’s? Was there a good turnout for him?’
‘Yeah.’ Guy could feel a poignant pride shaping his smile. The whole area had contributed to Digger’s send-off. The aero club had done a fly-past in formation. The Glenfalloch pub had put on an amazing spread and so many people had had stories to tell that the wake had gone on well into the night.
‘I wish I’d stayed.’
‘You would have felt out of place.’ Guy pushed his mug away and let his gaze rest heavily on Jennifer. This was getting them nowhere fast. ‘Why are you here?’ he said finally. ‘Do you want to visit the crash site or something so you can put it all behind you and get on with real life?’
‘I’m never going to be able to put it all behind me. It’s changed my life.’
‘Oh?’ Guy couldn’t help sounding sceptical. ‘A brush with death and you’ve seen the light, then?’
‘In a way.’ Jennifer was toying with her mug, her fingers stroking the rim in slow circles. Guy had to look away. ‘I’m going to be making a few changes.’ She looked up and Guy could see resolution in her eyes. ‘That’s why I’m here,’ she said quietly. ‘I wanted to discuss them with you.’
‘What for?’ Surprise sharpened his tone. ‘I’m not part of your life, Jenna. I never expected to even see you again. Your plans have nothing to do with me.’ Something like alarm was kicking him in the belly, creating a knot that was nothing like the one watching Jennifer’s fingers stroking that mug had provoked.
‘Actually, my plans might have quite a lot to do with you, Guy.’ Jennifer held his gaze and he could read a mix of emotions along with that resolution now. Fear perhaps? Sympathy even?
‘You…’ Jennifer had to clear her throat before she spoke again. ‘You’re the father of the baby I’m carrying, Guy.’
Please, God, no!
This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t real. The ringing of the telephone, now, that was real. Guy pushed back his chair and stood up, pleased to find his legs still working despite the curious numbing effect Jennifer’s statement had induced. His voice was still working, too, which seemed surprising, given the tightness in his throat.
‘Guy Knight.’ He listened for few seconds. ‘Calm down, Ellie. What’s happened?’ He listened again. ‘How far apart are the pains? Have you called the ambulance? OK. I’m on my way.’
It was a relief to push aside what had to be confronted. ‘I’ve got to go,’ he told Jennifer tersely. ‘It’s an emergency.’ He walked swiftly towards the fire to put the guard in place. ‘We’ll talk later.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
‘No.’
‘Why not?’ Jennifer was following him. The dogs were following her. ‘It’s an emergency. I’m an emergency physician. I might be able to help.’
‘No. I can manage, thanks.’
‘What kind of emergency is it?’ Jennifer was totally ignoring him, pulling on her long, black coat.
Guy flicked her a dark glance. ‘Premature delivery,’ he snapped.
‘Oh.’ The significance clearly wasn’t lost on Jennifer. She bit her lip as she offered him a tiny smile. ‘Bit close to home, huh?’
It was that tentative smile that changed things. She understood his shock. Given the kind of control Jennifer liked to exert on her life, she’d probably been just as shocked—if not more so—when she’d discovered she was pregnant. Her life, possibly her whole career, was in for a major shake-up. Maybe she had been as reluctant as he was to renew their acquaintance, but decency had brought her here to tell him the news face to face.
And somewhere deep inside a seed of something like joy was planted with the knowledge that he was going to become a father. He would have a connection to another human being that meant he wasn’t as totally alone in the world as he had thought.
‘Come on, then,’ he growled. ‘We’re wasting time.’
Jennifer had her seat belt fastened by the time the dogs scrambled into the back seat.
‘What’s the history?’ she queried.
‘Ellie’s thirty-eight and this is her first pregnancy. She’s thirty-five weeks into it. We’ve been keeping a close eye on her because she had a mild to moderate degree of placenta previa.’
‘Was the conception normal?’
Guy snorted. ‘I haven’t gone into the details. She and Phil have been married for fifteen years so I imagine they’ve had a bit of practice.’
Jennifer wasn’t smiling. ‘Being close to forty is quite old for a first baby. I just wondered if they’d had fertility treatment like IVF.’
Guy turned off the shingled lane that led to his cottage and picked up speed on the sealed road. ‘Fair enough. Yes, they’ve been trying for a baby ever since they married. IVF isn’t really an option for people in isolated areas who are struggling to earn a living anyway.’
‘And what’s happening at the moment?’
‘She’s in severe pain and is bleeding.’ Guy pushed his foot down more firmly on the accelerator. ‘The ambulance and the helicopter are both involved with a ca
r-versus-train incident at Kingston. It’ll be at least forty minutes before they can get here.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘Not too far, fortunately. We cross the Matukituki river into West Wanaka and then head up the valley. We’ve got a ford and a few farm gates to get through.’
Jennifer needed no prompting to leap out and open the first gate. When she didn’t need to be reminded to close it again, Guy remembered that she was a townie by choice rather than upbringing. He still didn’t expect her reaction when the second gate was blocked by the farm’s largest bull.
The huge animal refused to budge when Jennifer tried to push the gate open. Having been chased by a similar brute when he was ten years old, Guy would never have done what Jennifer did now. With her coat flapping and her skirt hitched up to her thighs, she simply climbed over one end of the gate. Picking up a long branch from beneath the pine trees that flanked the driveway, she marched towards the bull and gave him an almighty whack on the rump.
‘Move it,’ she ordered. ‘We need to get through.’
The bull was as surprised as Guy had been. It skittered clumsily to one side but then seemed to regroup and glared balefully at Jennifer as she opened the gate. Guy drove through as the gap widened but the bull was moving again and looked as though he might get through before the gate cut off the road to freedom.
Jennifer was having none of it. She raced behind the Toyota, seemingly oblivious to the muddy puddles soaking her boots and splattering her coat. The branch looked like a lethal weapon as she wielded it and her angry shouts would certainly have been enough to prevent Guy trying to annoy her further. He was grinning as she climbed back into the vehicle.
‘I wouldn’t want to be one of your registrars standing in the wrong place.’
Jennifer pushed sopping wet tendrils of hair behind her ears. She grinned back. ‘Haven’t had to hit anyone with a stick for a while, but I’ll keep it in mind. It was quite fun.’
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