by Renee Porter
“Sorry, I –“ – , Ryan “ Ryan shook her head as she dismounted from the brunette. She breathed heavily as she placed her head back on the couch.
“No, don’t be sorry. That was…well it was…” Charlie looked over and both women chuckled at each other’s flustered faces.
“Yeah it was. I just…” Charlie took Ryan’s hand and smiled.
“I know, you want to take it slow.” Ryan nodded, grateful for Charlie’s understanding.
“I know you haven’t been with anyone in a long time, Ryan. And I wouldn’t mind taking it slow either.”
“Thank you. And believe me, you don’t make it easy for me to want to go slow.”
“Yeah. I figured that when you climbed on top of me.” Charlie smiled at the faint blush now gracing Ryan’s cheeks. “And then you started moving on top of me,” Charlie’s voice started to grow breathy as Ryan moaned. She clenched her thighs together, remembering the sheer pleasure that the movement caused.
“You must be a good dancer if your hips can move like th - , “ Charlie - “Charlie was silenced as Ryan placed her lips feverishly on Charlie’s. The kiss was sloppy as tongues and teeth mashed together. Ryan pressed herself on Charlie who leaned back with the force of the light woman on top of her. She groaned loudly as Ryan slipped her hips between her thighs, grinding down hard onto her center.
“Ryan,” Charlie breathed hoarsely as she met Ryan’s thrust with her center. Ryan looked down and her eyes widened as she pushed off of the brunette. Charlie sat up quickly, straightening her hair. She looked over at Ryan whose eyes had grown a dark shade of green.
“I think I better go,” Charlie smiled at Ryan’s frown.
“Wait, please don’t. I promise I won’t attack you again…tonight.” Ryan’s slow smile eased Charlie’s nerves and she chuckled.
“I think you should back up a little then, cause that’s a promise that I might not be able to keep.” Ryan groaned as she thought about it, and decidedly she moved towards the end of the couch, picking up her wine glass in the process.
“So, since we seem to be on the subject of waiting…” Ryan looked over her wineglass at Charlie, “is there a specific reason why you want to wait?” Charlie wouldn’t have asked that question if it was anyone else but Ryan. She knew that it was a big faux pa to talk about previous relationships, but her already personal relationship with Ryan allowed her to forgo the typical first date rules. Ryan thought for a moment. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind.” Ryan offered Charlie a smile and took a deep breath.
“I guess it’s just my previous relationship with Naomi. We got together really fast, and I think I liked the idea of her more than actually being with her.” Charlie furrowed her brows.
“Like, being with her or being with her.” Ryan flushed and Charlie was amazed at the sick feeling stirring in her stomach. She wanted to retract her previous question right away when she imagined Ryan being intimate with someone else.
“Both, I guess.” Ryan fingered the seam on the couch, obviously slightly embarrassed with the subject. “I won’t give you any extreme details for obvious reasons, but there was a reason why Naomi cheated on me.” Charlie thought back to when Naomi had cornered her months ago. She had said that Ryan had issues and now was her turn to find out. She sucked in a breath trying to find words to be supportive but also nervous about what she was going to find out.
“You mean other than that she’s an ass?” Ryan chuckled at Charlie’s dislike of the woman.
“Meaning that she wasn’t great at…you know?” Charlie bit her lip, wanting to ask more but not at the same time.
“So she didn’t…” Charlie waved her hand in a tumbling motion. Ryan shook her head in answer. “Ever?” Ryan was quiet and Charlie frowned at the silent admission.
“Eventually, it got to the point where we weren’t intimate at all and she went looking for other women to get it from. I knew the relationship was over, I just didn’t have the confidence to end it. I thought that maybe something would change, but it didn’t. I haven’t been with anyone since.”
“So you haven’t…” Charlie was having an extremely difficult time finishing her sentences but Ryan answered anyway.
“Well I have.” Charlie sucked in a breath as Ryan gave her a slow, sexy , smile. “Just not with anyone else.” Ryan took a sip of her wine as she studied Charlie’s dazed stare. She was obviously in her own thoughts and Ryan was curious. “What are you thinking about?” Charlie met her eyes as her face grew to a heated blush.
“I’m thinking I should probably get going,” Charlie stood slowly and Ryan protested.
“Are you sure?” Had Ryan said too much? Did she scare Charlie into thinking that something was wrong with her?
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Charlie moved over to Ryan pulling her up from the couch and moving in to press her body closer. “Because if I stay, Ryan,” she placed a scorching kiss on Ryan’s lips and then pulled back, whispering in her ear, “I’m going to want to watch you, so that I can know exactly how you like to be touched.” Ryan felt herself grow wet at the words and moaned as Charlie breathed heavily in her ear.
“You can stay, then,” Ryan whispered. Charlie chuckled as she moved away, her tongue wetting her lips.
“Goodnight, Ryan. Thank you for tonight.” Ryan nodded as she followed Charlie to the door. With one last kiss goodnight, Ryan watched Charlie walk home. She closed the door with a heavy sigh, and went to check on George.
Chapter 16
“Are you sleeping together?” Ryan drew in a deep breath through her nose and out her mouth. She looked over to Jonathan who was struggling not to show that he was struggling. Ryan slowed her steps allowing him an opportunity to rest.
“Do you really want to know the answer to that question?” Ryan looked over at her friend who took a deep breath in and expelled it hard.
“Not really, but I feel like it’s something that I would ask you if you were dating anyone else.”
“You wouldn’t ask that if I was dating anyone else, Jon. You freak out at the mention of boobs.”
“Ew, why would you bring the not-so-fun bags into this conversation?” Jonathan winced and Ryan shook her head at her friend, laughing.
“You started it with your prying affection.”
“Fine. I just want to know if you think it’s as serious as you thought it would be. You know, after your first date and all.” Ryan walked quickly next to her friend, the previous Saturday night floating into the forefront of her mind. She smiled as her heart raced at the mere thought of Charlie and she nodded her head.
“Yeah, it’s serious. And no, I don’t sleep with anyone on the first date. You know that.” They started a light trot again and Jonathan continued.
“So you like her.”
“I thought that was pretty obvious when I asked you if I could date her, Jonathan.” Jonathan smiled his boyish grin and he laughed.
“Yeah, well, it was obvious. But you were also really serious about Naomi at a time, too.” Ryan looked over at her friend, trying to understand what he was saying.
“You know that it wasn’t a right time for me and Naomi. And I did try and tell you that when you were pushing me on her.”
“I just don’t want either of you to get hurt, Ry. You’re both incredibly important to me and I’m sort of trying to play both sides here.” Ryan stopped mid stride and grabbed Jonathan’s arm gaining his attention.
“Jon, it’s serious.” Ryan licked her lips and looked down at her feet. “I’ve never… , ” she looked up at her best friend, trying to find the words that she had feelings for but couldn’t quite say. “I’ve never felt this way.” His expression softened.
“Oh my g G od. You’re in love with her?” Ryan looked up quickly and shook her head, her throat growing tight as the words circled around her mind.
“No,” she turned and started to run but Jonathan stopped her.
“Ye
s you are. I’ve never seen this look before from you. And I know you didn’t love Naomi, so I’m assuming that…”
“I don’t fall in love with someone after one date, Jonathan.”
“But it wasn’t just one date, Ry.” She felt his hand grab her chin and turn it to meet his eyes. “You two have been dancing around each other for over half a year now. You realize that right?” Ryan’s heart started to thud hard, Jonathan’s explanation hitting her square in the chest.
“Yes. I’ve been attracted to her since I met her. But that doesn’t mean that I’m in love with her.”
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” Ryan rolled her eyes but she bit her lip in contemplation.
“I don’t know. How am I supposed to know what it feels like if I’ve never even been in love? This could just be…extreme lust…or something.” Jonathan scoffed at his friend’s explanation.
“Let me help you out here.”
“I’m not doing this with you right now.” Ryan felt him punch her shoulder and she glared at him in irritation. “Ow. What was that for?”
“Did that hurt?”
“Yes.”
“Are you still my friend?”
“What are you getting at, Jonathan?”
“Just answer the question. Are you still my friend?”
“Yes, okay? I’m still your friend. Now please explain.”
“That’s love, honey.” Ryan knitted her eyebrows together in confusion.
“Love is getting punched in the shoulder and still being friends?” Jonathan smiled.
“Love is allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to the possibility of getting hurt but still taking that chance, because being with that person outweighs the risk of them breaking your heart. Or in our case, me punching your arm.”
“And you couldn’t just say that without hurting me?” Jonathan smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “I had to make my point.”
“Yes,” Ryan said softly after a moment of thought.
“Yes, I made my point?”
“Yes, I’m in love with Charlie.” Warmth spread over every inch of skin as soon as the words left her mouth. Her heart beat fast and her knees grew weak. “Shit, Jon. Fuck. I’m in love with Charlie.” Ryan’s panicked glare hit his like a ton of bricks and she sat down hard on the concrete. Jonathan looked around the empty street to make sure that no one with prying eyes was looking.
“Are you having a panic attack?” Ryan breathed heavily with her head down. Air was filling her lungs but she felt like she couldn’t breathe.
“You think?!”
“Alright, sweetie, come on. Let’s stand up.” Jonathan pulled Ryan to her feet and held one arm around her waist. “This is not something to panic about, this is a great thing!” Ryan looked over at her friend, still gulping for air. She removed his arm and started to pace.
“No, this is not a good thing.”
“And why not? Charlie is a catch. She’s a freaking celebrity for G g od’s sake. You won the jackpot.”
Ryan’s eyes widened as a thought occurred to her. “She’s really popular.” Jonathan just nodded as he stared at her with worry. “Like really, really, popular. And she’s gorgeous. And really talented, huh?”
“Oh, no. No, Ryan. Do not think what you’re thinking.”
“She’s one of the most stunning, popular, talented women in Hollywood. What the hell is she doing with me?” Jonathan watched as his friend plopped back down on the concrete.
“Ryan,” Jonathan sighed as he sat down next to his friend. Her hands held her head and he knew that she was seconds away from tears. “You’re talking yourself out of something that you shouldn’t even be thinking.”
Ryan looked into Jonathan’s eyes. “I’m in love with someone who could literally have anyone in the world.”
“And why do you think she wants you to be that person?” Ryan sucked in a shaky breath as Jonathan continued. “Because you’re gorgeous, and incredibly kind Ryan. You treat her like she’s not a celebrity. You treat her like she’s just a normal human being. Don’t you see how important that is to her?”
Ryan bit her bottom lip. “I know my cousin. She doesn’t let many people in but you and her hit it off from the start. Even though it started out as just a friendship, you have to know that she wouldn’t have even had that kind of relationship with you if she thought you weren’t good enough.”
“Do you really mean that?” Ryan’s breathing was returning to normal and Jonathan nodded in answer.
“I do. And don’t tell her I told you this, but she was really, really happy after your date last Saturday.”
Ryan smiled as she ran her fingers through her disheveled pony tail. “She was?”
“Yeah. That’s why I asked if you two were sleeping together already. I swear, she was in such a post orgasmic haze that I thought she was just coming home for her toothbrush.” Ryan laughed as she shook her head.
“We did have a great time together.”
“See,” Jonathan said knocking his shoulder into hers. “You have nothing to be worried about.”
Ryan released a breath and turned to Jonathan. “What if she doesn’t love me back?” Jonathan sighed as he wrapped his arm around the small woman.
“I’m not the one that can answer that question. But, I wouldn’t count her out just yet.” Jonathan’s eyes twinkled and Ryan chuckled softly.
“What would I do without you?”
Jonathan shrugged. “Luckily, you’ll never have to find out.” Ryan laughed at his cocky answer and slugged his shoulder hard. He winced and then smiled. “I love you, too.”
***
“Hey, Ryan?” Katie knocked on the door and Ryan cocked her eyebrow up.
“Uh, yeah? Since when do you ever knock Katie?” Katie smiled, her face brighter today than it was yesterday. Last Sunday, Katie picked George up in the morning letting Ryan know that her mother wasn’t out of the woods just yet, but that the doctors were optimistic for a full recovery. Of course it would be a long road for her mother, but still, the news was getting better every day.
“Yeah, I decided to show some courtesy since I owe you for taking care of Georgie last Saturday.”
“You don’t have to keep thanking me, Katie. You know how much I love that little man.” Ryan smiled at her friend. “And how is your mother by the way?”
“She’s better. Still unable to talk but you can tell she recognizes everyone. The doctors hope to get some words out of her by the end of the week.”
“That’s great. And if you need me to watch George anytime, just bring him over, okay?” Katie nodded a thanks.
“Anyway, that’s not why I’m here. You have a visitor.” Katie’s eyes shone with a mischievous glint.
“Oh, who is it?”
“Charlotte Baker.” Ryan’s heart revved from zero to off the charts as soon as the name crossed Katie’s lips.
“Um, okay.” Katie cocked an eyebrow up at the squeak in her friend’s voice.
“Do you want me to send her back?” Ryan nodded her head and Katie smiled, turning from the door.
“Oh, and Ryan?” Ryan shook herself out of the daze as Katie motioned for the brunette to close her mouth. Ryan quickly pressed her lips together as she heard Katie laughing down the hall. Ryan took a moment to straighten out her desk and hoping that she was presentable. She hadn’t seen Charlie since their date or her recent proclamation of love. Charlie was whisked away on Sunday morning, her manager requesting her presence at some function that was supposedly big in the business. The meeting turned into a few days of traveling up north to meet some directors or something of that sort. Ryan realized that if she really wanted to date the woman, she might need to make more exceptions in her life and start paying more attention to what exactly Charlie did.
They of course spoke on the phone and Charlie was as sweet-and sexy-as usual. The casual flirting and soft talks held Ryan together through the week, but now that she was there, physically there, she didn’t kn
ow exactly how to act.
“Hey.” Ryan was shaken out of her daze as she met a bright smile at the door. She felt her knees weaken as Charlie’s blue eyes struck her own emerald ones and she released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.
“Hey, yourself,” Ryan said as she made her way over to the tall brunette. She took in Charlie’s usual attire, still in shock how she could look so beautiful in something that she was so used to Charlie wearing. Ryan felt Charlie’s arms hug her deeply and Ryan returned the gesture just the same. A soft kiss on Charlie’s cheek expelled a breath from the brunette’s lips and they looked at each other for what seemed like minutes. Realizing that they were in an extremely public place, Ryan cleared her throat and gestured for Charlie to come inside to her office.
“So you’re back,” Ryan smiled as she took a seat next to Charlie in front of her desk.
“Yes, and I bring lunch.” Charlie smiled as she held out a white bag with “Cupid’s Hotdogs” written on the front. Ryan groaned as she took in the smell.
“Oh my god, you’re my hero. I’m starving.” Charlie chuckled as she removed two hotdogs from the bag. Ryan sat back comfortably in her chair, thanking Charlie for serving her, and took a bite of the dog.
“So how did the meetings go?”
“Really, well, actually.” Charlie smiled over her bite and Ryan raised an eyebrow.
“What aren’t you telling me?”
“How do you do that?”
“You have a look.”
“Oh? Do I?”
Ryan nodded her head. “Yes. You do this thing with your eyes and then you smirk like you’re hiding a secret.” Ryan tried to mimic the look but she was sure that it came out looking sillier than anything. Charlie laughed and Ryan’s heart melted at the sound. God I missed you.
“I missed you too, Ryan.” Ryan’s face heated.
“Did I say that out loud?” She thought back and Charlie shook her head.
“You have a look, too.” The women laughed at one another and then finally Ryan couldn’t take it anymore.