by David Horne
When I finished my soup, Daniel held my hand underneath the table, and I could feel him shaking so much, that, for a second, I thought about getting him out of there and abort this whole dinner.
“I would like to say something,” Daniel announced, making everyone stop talking and pay attention to him. “I don’t know how to say this, but... I just hope that you’ll support me. Us. Throughout this.” Said Daniel, stumbling on his own words.
Carlos's face was severe, and I could tell that he was inquisitive, but also ready to blow up in case he doesn’t like what he’s about to hear. On the other hand, my mom is quite calm, and so is Linda. I guess that she also already knew about it.
“Alex and I... We’re together,” he said. “As a couple.”
I smiled at him, proud of his achievement. And he smiled back at me, relieved. I could swear that I even saw another person in him.
“Right...” his dad whispered, looking away from us.
It was tough for me to decipher Carlos’s expressions. But I could guess that he wasn’t happy. At least he didn’t break the table in half like I thought he would.
“Well...” Carlos continued. “That’s your choice,” he said to us.
Strangely, he kept on eating, even though everyone was silent and looking at him, expecting him to say something else. Since he didn’t, everyone went back to normal, but not Daniel. I could feel the tension in him, and I knew that something wasn’t right.
Was he afraid of making a scene just because my mom and I were there? That made me worry about Daniel’s and Linda’s safety. I never heard anything about him being aggressive; otherwise, I think that Daniel would’ve told me by now. But you never know.
Maybe I could stay the night with Daniel and make sure that everything’s okay. After eating, Carlos invited me to follow him into his living room, and even Daniel was looking at me like someone who as scared that I could die.
Carlos lifted a white wine bottle and asked if I would like some, to which I replied affirmatively.
“Listen,” he began. “I always knew that there was something between you and my son. And I’m not going to lie, because I did try everything to keep him away from you. However, I’m getting old, and I like having Daniel around here. Even if that means that he’s with you.
Usually, I don’t like that kind of stuff, but I always knew that he was different. My wife always told me not to force him into liking girls, but I always felt like that was the right thing to do. However, I know how unhappy he was in college. To be honest, I would prefer him to date a girl, but I just want him to be himself now.”
“What do you mean he was unhappy in college?” I asked him.
“You don’t know?” He asked me, and, for the first time in my life, I saw him concerned.
“He... was not himself while he was there. We both knew that he missed you, and it was our fault that he did some bad things.”
“Like what?”
“He was skipping classes, hanging out with bad company, doing drugs. It was a blessing that he made it through honestly. He didn’t even talk to us often while he was there. However, I noted a change toward the end. I think he was excited to get back to you.”
“What are you guys talking about?” Daniel interrupted.
“Nothing,” Carlos answered. “I was just chatting with your new boyfriend,” he said, right before giving me an aggressive pat on the back that almost knocked me over.
Carlos quickly left, and Daniel held me in his arms, kissing me for the first time tonight.
“Do you think that he’s okay with us?” He asked me.
“No. But I think that my father’s not against us either.” I said.
“That’s as good as it gets,” Daniel said, laughing.
“I agree!” I said.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me about college? Your dad was saying that you went through some rough times.”
Daniel’s cheeks clenched, and I held him tight to comfort him.
“It’s not something that I like to talk about,” he revealed.
“Was it because of me?” I asked him.
“Yes. However, I didn’t know it at the time. I guess my mind was even messier than you thought it was...”
“Don’t be silly. Look at where we are now,” I said.
He held me tight as well and began to rotate me slightly while he was smiling and staring deep into my eyes.
“Yeah. Who would’ve guessed? And it’s all thanks to you,” he said, kissing me twice in the lips shortly after.
“No. You did this too. You changed your attitude and came out to yourself and your parents.”
“Yeah,” he said. “Because of you.”
I laughed too, and then it was already time to leave. As my mom and I walked home, I kept thinking about Daniel’s tough times at college. He was even doing drugs. All because of me? Well, technically not because of me directly, but because his dad pushed him away from me. I guess that was why he didn’t overreact hearing the news that we’re together.
If Carlos indeed just wants to see his son happy, I think that everything’s going to be okay. My mom was talking to me about the accident that injured Raja’s family, and how much it must be tough for him right now. She suggested that we go over to his house to check on him since it’s not that far away, and I agreed.
As my mom went to pick up our car, Daniel messaged me, making sure I had gotten home okay, to which I replied I was going to check on Raja. Surprisingly, Daniel asked me if he could join us, to which I said yes. I was just hoping that Daniel didn’t volunteer just because he might be jealous.
There were some people by Raja’s house, and I just learned on the way over that my mom is in the same yoga class as Raja’s mother, and they are both quite close. It was his aunt that came to open the door, and she didn’t look happy to let us come in. Maybe he didn’t want any visitors.
Raja was talking to his uncle and cousins, and, after a few seconds, he noticed me and came in my direction. A small and short-lived smile took over his lips as he greeted me. I could see in his eyes that he already cried a lot before we arrived.
“Hello,” Raja said. “Thank you for coming over.”
“Of course,” I replied.
Daniel came to my side and greeted Raja with a simple “Hi.” Raja barely looked at him when he also replied “hi” back. What was this sudden tension between them? Was I missing something here?
“How are you holding up?” I asked Raja.
“I could be better...” he answered.
“Is there any news about your family?” My mom asked him.
“Not much. My family is undergoing emergency medical procedures. I still have my heart on my hands. If it were to me, I would be at the hospital. But my uncles say that there’s no point. They’ll call when they have more information.”
“Let us know if you need anything, okay?” My mom offered.
“Thank you!” He said to her.
We began to say goodbye, and I placed my hand on Raja’s shoulder as compassion gesture. As we were leaving, Daniel kept his distance from me.
As we got in the car, I asked if Daniel wanted to stay the night. He immediately said yes, but my intention tonight was to talk about him and his sudden jealousy of Raja. Even if I was liking the fact that he was upset about me being close to another guy, I want him to be able to trust me.
It was already late, so Daniel and I said goodbye to my mother as she went to her room and we went to mine. Daniel threw himself on my bed and smiled, looking at me.
Watching him smile, I couldn’t help but smile too.
“What?” I asked him.
“Can you believe this?” He said. “Me and you together, without having to hide it.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty surreal,” I agreed.
“It’s like we should’ve done this years ago, and we missed all those years together because of me.” He said.
“It wasn’t because of you...”
“Yeah, it was. Bei
ng with you for these past few hours, even though it’s still so recent, it feels so good. I don’t want to lose you on my side, now that you are finally mine. I guess I dreamt of this for so long that now I want to seize every moment.”
“Talking about that,” I began. “Why are you jealous of Raja and me?”
“I don’t know,” he said, raising his shoulders. “I think that I’m afraid that you’ll eventually leave me.”
“Why?”
“I not used to this gay thing. Maybe you’ll prefer someone more experienced, and since Raja’s gay, he would know how to love you better.”
“What? I don’t care if you’re inexperienced. The only thing drawing me to you is the strongest feeling that I’ve ever felt, something I know has existed between us for years. Now, it feels more liberating than ever to be able to enjoy it.”
“Do you really like me that much?”
“I do. Don’t you?”
“More than anything else in this world,” he explained.
Instinctively, he got up and kissed me, making me sit on my gaming chair. The touch of his cold and wet lips was still making me tremble every time they hit mine. It was like I couldn’t get used to it.
“So... What do you play here?” He asked me, pointing to my computer.
“You’re into games?” I asked, surprised.
“Yeah. I play a few.”
“I didn’t know that,” I revealed. “Do you want to play something together?”
“Sure,” he agreed with a smile on his face.
“Get up.” He ordered me.
While reluctant, I complied. Daniel sat down on my chair and then signaled for me to sit on his lap. As soon as I did, I felt the warmth of his body and how safe and comfortable I felt knowing that he was right there, touching me.
He placed his hands around my waist, all the way to the table, where he could reach the mouse and the keyboard, and then he opened my games folder.
“You play this?” He asked, surprised, holding the cursor on top of one of my favorite games.
“No way! You play this too?” I almost screamed.
That night, we didn’t fuck, but it still felt amazing. We spent hours taking turns playing the game, while I felt his hands grabbing and caressing my body sometimes. Whenever it was my turn, Daniel would kiss my neck or my back and snuggle me closer to his body.
I never thought that I would be able to experience such a surreal feeling with him. It was like finally, we were acting like we’ve always wanted with each other, but we never did because we were both pretending to be someone else.
We fell asleep very late. It was probably almost six in the morning; however, we were all getting some days off due to the trip being canceled and because of the accident involving Raja’s family, so it wasn’t a problem to wake up late.
On the other hand, waking up and seeing a messy and naked Daniel standing by my side is still very dream-like. I’m almost afraid of waking up at any second and realize that this never happened.
I checked my phone, and it was already 4pm. Maybe we could spend this entire day in bed too. On my phone, there were a few messages from Raja, and two missed calls. At first, my heart jumped because I thought something terrible happened. But then, once I checked my messages, Raja was telling me that his family is safe from any danger, and they just need a few more months to recover.
A feeling of relief finally settled, and I placed my phone down. Once I turned around, I had an angry Daniel face staring so intensely into me, that he could probably see my soul.
“What?” I asked.
“You were talking to Raja.” He commented.
“He was just letting me know that he’s family is okay, what is this sudden obsession with him?”
“You two got too close on this trip...”
“And? Don’t you trust me?”
“I do. I just don’t trust Raja.”
“Why not?”
Daniel took a deep breath.
“He saw us that day at the hospital’s changing room. When we wanked each other. He threatened to tell everyone about it if I didn’t get away from you. That’s why I asked my dad to call Carla.”
“Wait... What?” I asked him, not wanting to believe what I was hearing.
It turns out Raja saw us wanking each other and threatened Daniel to get away from me. Why would he want that? And why would Daniel accept his blackmail? Also, he even had to involve Carla in it. I did not like what I heard at all.
“Why am I only hearing about this now?” I asked him angrily.
“Because I think he likes you. And the fact that you are starting to get close to him is only going to make things worse.”
“So, you didn’t think that I should know about how he tried to blackmail you and how he actually succeeded?”
“He didn’t succeed.”
“He did. You did get away from me, and you asked your father to blackmail Carla into pretending to be your girlfriend? That is sick!” I said, raising my tone.
“You’re seriously getting upset with me? After we talked about how I was hiding who I was? I wasn’t the same person just a few days ago, and you know that. I would’ve done anything to keep his mouth shut about us. But still, it didn’t work! My love for you was stronger, and here we are!”
Even though I understand what Daniel is saying, and I am inclined to forget about it and move on, I can’t help but feel that I should punish him for such behavior. However, I couldn’t tell him to leave the house right now, since seeing his beautiful face just a few inches from me, is something that I can’t get rid of.
“What does your father have on Carla?”
Daniel took another big breath.
“I think that’s too personal for me to tell. Carla’s already not talking to me, and she is right to do so. But I wouldn’t feel good telling you something that is up to her to share.”
I clenched my teeth. I really wanted to find the reason, but Daniel was finally acting reasonably for once, and I didn’t want him to change those morals.
“Please don’t stay mad at me.” He begged me while his hands began to touch my chin and caress my face.
The touch of his stiff yet soft fingers running through my skin made my eyes close. That was as far as a “yes” that he was going to get from me right now.
“I love you,” he told me.
At that moment, my eyes opened as quickly as possible so that I could be able to stare at his face, standing very still, right in front of mine. Should I say the same thing? I mean, I do love him. But I’m also mad at him for what he just told me.
“Promise me that there will be no more secrets between us,” I asked him
Daniel took some time to think about it in silence, but his eyes kept looking at my face during all that time, and his hand was softly tracing a few invisible lines on my cheeks.
“I promise,” he finally whispered.
Chapter Five
Every anniversary of our relationship is a big thing, but our first anniversary has to be the most important date of my relationship with Daniel so far. I’m quite nervous, to be honest. Daniel has already sent me a message an hour ago. Did I wake up too late today? My phone tells me it’s almost 11am, so I don’t consider that to be so bad.
Daniel: One year with you already, let’s celebrate 100 more!
Even though I’m already used to Daniels’s romantic messages, they still get me emotional every single time, and this one made my heart melt more than usual. I replied back with a simple heart-emoji, probably because my brain is still not operational enough to write a thought-out message.
Today was also the day that we were going to see the first apartment together. From the photos, it seemed to be an excellent choice for us! And the landlord is okay with us taking Britney, our dog. She’s a four months old puppy that we found abandoned in the middle of the street. Luckily, Daniel saw her walking around his house, and now he’s adopted her.
Neither one of us revealed our plans for tonig
ht to each other. The only notice that Daniel told me was that he was taking me out for dinner. However, I also have something special prepared. If there’s one thing that I’ve learned this past year together with Daniel is that he loves me very much, and although he keeps trying, he still doesn’t entirely know how to surprise me.
I think that he was so used to fake relationships with girls that he embedded that in his brain. In the first few months, he mostly only bought me clothes, and I had to tell him that I was quite content with buying them myself. Even though I didn’t want him to buy me anything at all, he kept trying until he got close enough to my style: video games, books, tech.
He is way more comfortable with kissing me and holding me in public places, however – way more than he used to be at least. He also got in a few fights with other guys who called us names when we would go out for drinks with our friends. But that’s a reaction for him that, no matter what, I just can’t change. He’s very protective of me.
Today is also the first day of vacation for Daniel and me since we both took a month off at the same time. We’re both still working at the hospital, and I’ve actually made up with Carla in the meantime. Turns out that what Daniels’s father had against her was a security tape at the police station of her fucking with a police officer.
Turns out that Daniels’s father became super supportive of our relationship once he was seeing how happy his son was, and even deleted the evidence as an act of respect for my friendship Carla. She and that police officer, Marcos, are actually dating now, and they make an adorable couple.
I got up and went to the bathroom to shower. However, I didn’t spend too much time on it because I was so excited for the day that I had ahead of me. Once I was back in my room, I choose a simple and comfortable outfit since I was going on a morning run with Daniel. Just some regular black leggings and a black mesh sports shirt.
Since I could never eat anything before a workout, I just drank some water and headed out the door. I texted Daniel that I was getting out, but he was already nearing my house. He was as attractive as he always is. He was wearing some baggy white and blue sports pants and a simple white tank top that showed his muscled arms and still showcased his hard nipples.