*****
Sabrina stared at the floor as she limped back to her apartment. She felt numb. She wasn’t even sure why she was limping. She wasn’t in pain. Not anymore. It had gone way beyond pain last night. Sometime after she’d passed out, they’d woken her and used her ass without mercy, making her scream in agony. After that, her mind kind of shut down. She remembered being woken several times throughout the night to be used by one or the other, but she stopped responding after the second time or so. She just lay there and let them do what they wanted.
She unlocked the apartment door and walked inside. She didn’t even care if Jayson and Liz heard her. She didn’t really care about anything at the moment. Part of her wondered at her numbness. She’d been through countless nights like these before and been fine the next morning. Why was this different?
She had no answer. She didn’t even care enough to try and come up with one. Why bother? It would all be over in a few months. Being numb wasn’t so bad. Even the thought of seeing Chase again didn’t bother her. That was a nice change.
Aiden hadn’t looked happy this morning, though. Before she’d left, she vaguely remembered him saying something about losing interest in her.
Her heart began to pound as the numbness melted away in the panic of him going after other girls. The pain returned with a vengeance and she gasped. She put her hands on the table and hung her head, trying to get hold of what was going on in her body. She blinked back tears, then wiped them away quickly. She couldn’t let her roommates see she was hurting. It would put everyone in danger.
She inhaled deeply and stood up straight, determined to ignore the pain in her body. The apartment was silent.
She hurried to the bathroom to take a long, hot shower.
*****
“One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five . . . six . . . seven . . . eight . . .” Martin watched intently as Sabrina and Jayson moved to the music in the small studio on the second floor. Sabrina winced as Jayson spun her around in the air gracefully and set her down, but quickly schooled her expression before turning to face him again. His eyebrows twitched and raised, as if to ask if she was okay. She gave him a tight-lipped smile before lifting up en pointe and stretching her leg out behind her in an arabesque. She blew between pursed lips, trying to remember the next step.
“No!” Martin exclaimed when she turned to face Jayson. “Sabrina, you step forward twice before turning.” His mouth was turned into a deep frown and she saw the disappointment in his eyes. He studied her for a long moment, then shook his head. “Take five.” He turned on his heel and strode across the room and out into the hallway.
Sabrina closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to fall for the millionth time today. She’d been disappointing Martin all week. Her chest tingled with fear. Did he regret putting her in this role? She couldn’t blame him. This week had been tough on her and she knew he was unhappy.
“Sabrina?” Jayson reached for her hand, but she snatched it away quickly. She didn’t want to be touched or comforted. She deserved the shame coursing through her body.
Walking over to the window, she looked out at the buildings downtown. The cloudy day fit her mood. She rubbed her face and eyes, swallowing hard. She didn’t know what to think or what to do. She felt trapped. She was trying to do the right thing in protecting her fellow dancers, but the cost was higher than she’d expected. How much longer could she keep Aiden happy and keep dancing?
Jayson appeared next to her. “What’s going on, Sabrina?” he asked in a low voice.
“Nothing.”
He frowned, and she felt his anger bubbling to the surface. She stepped away, afraid he would lash out at her. She wanted to tell him what was going on so he could understand, but she couldn’t. Not without hurting everyone else in the company. She could feel him watching her. He was concerned, frustrated, and sad.
“Sabrina? A word?”
Sabrina turned and saw Martin in the doorway of the studio, jaw clenched. She lowered her head and hurried over to him.
He sighed. She looked up slowly, seeing the conflict in his eyes. “I’m concerned this role is too much for you to handle,” he began.
Sabrina’s heart dropped into her stomach and her throat tightened, making it hard to breathe.
“I spoke with Larry. He said you weren’t able to handle such a difficult schedule back home and I’m worried that I’m asking too much of you.”
Hot tears filled Sabrina’s eyes as she listened to Martin’s words. It was true. She couldn’t have danced this much back home, not with living with Ramon and Khyan.
“I thought you were doing okay the first couple weeks . . .” He trailed off, shaking his head.
Sabrina didn’t know what to say. What could she say? He was right. She couldn’t handle everything going on in her life right now.
“Maybe you’re just not cut out for a professional dance company.”
Sabrina closed her eyes and hung her head. “Yes, Martin,” she whispered. “I understand.”
“I’m afraid you’re going to hurt yourself.”
“Yes, Martin,” she whispered again. The tears began to fall, trailing hot streaks down her cheeks. She turned and hurried over to her bag, picked it up, and ran out of the room.
Jayson called after her, but she ignored him. She paused long enough by the door to change shoes, then walked home as quickly as she could.
What would she do now? Jayson and Liz wouldn’t let her stay with them if she wasn’t dancing anymore, would they? Maybe for a little while, but then what? Could she get a job somewhere? What did she know how to do except dance? Not much. Except sex.
When she got home, she threw herself onto the bed, then flipped over to stare at the ceiling, thoughts circling through her mind. Her phone buzzed in the other room, but she ignored it. It was probably Jayson, but she didn’t want to talk to him right now.
She heard the apartment door open and close. A moment later, Jayson stood in her doorway. “Sabrina, I know something’s going on. Why won’t you tell me?” She turned onto her side, away from him. He walked around the bed and knelt beside her. “You were doing so well until this week. What happened?” His brown eyes were so earnest, she longed to tell him everything.
“I can’t . . . I can’t tell you,” she said in a broken whisper
“Why not?”
She shook her head. “I just can’t. I can’t let them get hurt.” She turned onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow, wishing she could suffocate herself.
“What? Who will get hurt?” Jayson pulled on her elbow until she looked up. “Who is getting hurt?”
Sabrina blinked. Had she said something she shouldn’t have? “N-no one.”
Jayson frowned, his eyebrows lowering until she could barely see his eyes. “Sabrina. Tell . . . me . . . what . . . is . . . going . . . on.”
She yanked her arm out of his grip and shifted away, making Jayson huff. He frowned at her for a moment more, then stood and stomped out of the room, almost slamming the door behind him.
Sabrina sighed in relief. For a moment. Then the questions returned.
When she heard her phone ring again, she figured it was Aiden. He was the only one who called her. But she didn’t have the energy to get up and find out.
*****
The phone ringing startled Chase. He’d been staring at an inane TV show for the past hour, trying to get his mind off Sabrina. He’d almost succeeded. Looking down at his cell sitting on the table, he saw it was Jayson. Why would he be calling so early in the afternoon? He was supposed to be in rehearsal.
Chase tapped the screen to answer and put it on speaker. “Hello?”
“Are you busy?” Jayson’s anxious voice came through.
Chase glanced at the TV. “Not especially. Why?”
“I need you to come over to my apartment
. Now.”
The urgency in Jayson’s voice had him on his feet in an instant. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
He hurried across the condo and down the stairs to the media room where Ethan was staring, wide-eyed, at the TV and rapidly pressing buttons on the controller in his hand. He grimaced and shouted something intelligible before narrowing his eyes and tilting his whole body sideways. He was shirtless and his feet were bare.
“I need you to take me over to Jayson’s.”
Ethan didn’t look up from his game. “You can’t drive yourself?”
“You know how hard it is to find parking over there and I needed to be there five minutes ago.”
Ethan rolled his eyes and grimaced, though Chase suspected it was more about the game than Jayson. “What’s wrong now?”
“I think it has something to do with Sabrina.”
That got his attention. Ethan dropped his controller and stood. “What’s wrong?” he asked as he followed Chase out of the room.
“I don’t know, but Jayson sounded really anxious.”
Ethan nodded and headed to his room, probably to get a shirt on. Chase sprinted to his own room to retrieve his shoes and met Ethan in the entryway two minutes later.
A short time later, Ethan dropped Chase off in front of Jayson’s building, then went to find a parking spot. Chase sprinted up the stairs into the building, then tapped his foot while waiting for the elevator. What could have made Jayson sound so nervous on the phone? Had something happened to him? To Liz? To Sabrina? It had to be Sabrina. That was the only thing that made sense.
He was about to give up and take the stairs when the elevator finally opened. He got in and punched the number for the fifth floor, glaring at the doors as they slowly closed. The car moved in what felt like slow motion until the bell finally dinged. As soon as the opening was big enough to squeeze through, Chase rushed through the doors and hurried down the hallway. He banged on the door. Jayson opened it a moment later, his face pale.
“What happened?” Chase demanded, following Jayson into the apartment.
His friend stopped by the kitchen table. “Sabrina’s been acting weird all week. I know she’s been tired, but she was a mess today.” Jayson paused. “Martin was upset, and . . . Well, he didn’t fire her, but she took it that way. Anyway, she came home. I got here a while later and asked what was going on. She wouldn’t tell me, but something slipped out, I think.”
“What slipped out?”
“She said, ‘I can’t let them get hurt.’ But she wouldn’t say anything else.” Jayson frowned. “Aren’t you trained in interrogation techniques?”
Chase glanced at Sabrina’s closed door. He was, but that wasn’t how he wanted to start his relationship with her.
A beep sounded from the kitchen. Jayson sighed. “Her phone. Aiden’s trying to get ahold of her.” He walked over to the counter and picked up the phone. “That fucker,” he growled and stomped back over to Chase, holding out the phone. Chase recognized it as one of Jayson’s old ones.
A text message had popped up on the screen.
You get your fucking ass over here to suck my cock, or I’ll fuck up your ass more than I did last night.
Chase’s hands clenched into fists. “What the fuck does that mean?” he growled, scowling at Jayson. “What’s been going on?”
Jayson’s eyes went wide and he took a step back, holding up his hands. “I swear, I don’t know. She won’t tell me. She hasn’t told Martin, either. No one has any idea.”
Chase took several deep breaths, trying to calm his raging heart. It wouldn’t do any good to storm into Sabrina’s room and demand to know what was going on. She needed to know it was safe to talk to him. Yelling would likely make her shut down more than Jayson said she already was.
The apartment door opened and Ethan walked in as Chase’s heartbeat returned to normal. “What happened?” he asked. His friend had the uncanny ability to read every expression on his face.
“I don’t know yet,” Chase said in a low voice.
Jayson held up Sabrina’s phone. Ethan leaned close, his face turning furious as his eyes moved across the screen. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“I’m trying to calm down so I can find out,” Chase said evenly. “But, if it means what I think it means, we may have a job to do tonight.”
Ethan nodded, his jaw clenched. “I’ll help out with pleasure.”
Chase sucked in several deep breaths, then set his jaw. “I’ll go see what I can find out.”
“You want me to come with?” Jayson asked, but Chase shook his head.
“I don’t want to intimidate her with too many people in there. I’ll come get you if I need you.”
Jayson nodded and glanced back at her door. “I hope you can get through to her better than I can.”
“Me, too.” He walked across the room and knocked gently. There was no answer, as he expected, so he pushed it open.
Sabrina lay on her side, facing away from him. She was curled up in a ball, her whole body trembling.
*****
Sabrina drifted between waking and sleeping. Every time she got close to falling asleep, she’d jerk and pain would shoot through her body.
“Sabrina?” a soft voice called from the direction of her doorway.
It sounded like Chase, but why would he be here? She had to be dreaming. The thought was too good to possibly be true.
She wished it were true, though. If anyone could help her, it would be Chase. Even Martin and Jayson had told her that. Why would he help her, though? She was a whore. A slut. A murderer.
Right now, more than anything, she wanted to believe everything Jayson and Liz had told her about Chase Ralston. She desperately wanted to believe that he could forgive her past and still be in love with her.
You’re a fool, Sabrina Mansfield. No man is that good.
Someone stepped between her and the window, blocking the sunlight. She opened her eyes and saw an enormous shadow above her. She jumped and leaned away, hissing in pain.
The shadow knelt and the face came into focus.
Chase.
Her heart leapt and her breath caught in her throat as she looked into his soft gray eyes. “What are you doing here?” Sabrina asked, her voices sounding as broken as her spirit felt.
“Jayson called me. Said you had a rough afternoon.”
She laughed sadly. “Martin kicked me out.” She looked away. “I deserved it, though. I don’t think I’m cut out for professional dancing.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Why not?”
“Because Jayson believes in you. And Martin wouldn’t have brought you in if he didn’t think you could cut it.”
“Martin saw me dance years ago.”
“And now, too. Jayson said you were doing really good up until this week. Did something happen?”
“No,” she answered quickly. Chase frowned, obviously not believing her. “I can’t talk about it.” Even though she desperately wanted to. How could she tell Chase what she’d been doing? Sleeping with a man—two last night—and being his slave? How could he possibly understand that?
“If you tell me, maybe I can help.”
She snorted. “No one can help me.”
“Why not?”
“You can’t change who and what I am,” she answered in a low voice.
“What are you, Sabrina?”
She looked at him sharply. Something about his question struck her heart. Maybe I should just tell him everything. Then he’ll know and we can finally move on with our separate lives. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.
Chase reached out and pushed a lock of hair out of her face. Sabrina closed her eyes as his fingers brushed against her cheek. It was so gentle, barely a touch, but it made her sigh. It wasn’t sexual. I
t wasn’t her body responding to it, but her heart.
“I can’t,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes.
“Why not?”
“Because I promised I wouldn’t.”
Chase let out a deep breath. “Sometimes promises shouldn’t be kept, especially if they hurt somebody.”
Sabrina frowned, confused.
“Let me give you an example. If Jon were beating up Liz, then made her promise not to tell anyone, do you think she should keep that promise?”
Sabrina frowned deeply. “Jon would never do that.”
“How do you know?”
Sabrina rolled her eyes. “Because he loves her.”
“Okay, but just imagine he wasn’t really who he seemed to be and he was hurting her. Don’t you think she should break her promise and tell Jayson? Or someone who could help her get out of that situation?”
“Of course. Jayson would kill Jon if he were doing that.”
Chase smiled. “Why?”
“Because she’s his little sister and he adores her.”
“But what if she never told him? What if Jayson had a feeling something was going on and couldn’t figure it out. And then, one day, Liz came home so hurt, she couldn’t dance.”
Sabrina’s eyes welled up with tears at the thought of Jon doing something hurtful to Liz. Then she narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists as she thought about it more. “I’d kill him,” she growled.
Chase quickly put his hand on Sabrina’s shoulder. “Sabrina, what you’re feeling . . . It’s bad, right?”
The anger grew inside her at the thought of Liz being hurt. “Yes.”
Chase cupped her chin and made her look at him. “That’s how Jayson is feeling right now.”
Sabrina sat up and looked around. “Why? What happened to Liz?”
Chase shook his head. “Nothing. Liz is fine. But I don’t think you are.”
Sabrina stared into Chase’s stormy-gray eyes, trying to clear her head enough to understand what he was trying to tell her. The anger made her mind fuzzy, but looking into Chase’s kind but intense eyes calmed her. “She’s okay?”
Chase nodded. “Nothing has happened to Liz. But something has happened to you, hasn’t it?”
Master of My Heart Page 23