She opened her mouth to answer, but then she understood what he was saying. “Because I have friends here and . . .” She trailed off.
“And because Chase is here?” Theo finished.
She bit her lip and looked down at her hands. “I thought so.”
“Richard adores his girls. They adore him. They want to please him. They are happy and content. They have no worries of what tomorrow will bring.”
“Don’t they get hurt? Don’t the men hurt them?”
“Sometimes, but it is rare. Certain girls enjoy rougher sex and they are used accordingly. If one of Richard’s men abuses the wrong girl, they are dealt with. Harshly.” He sighed. “I will not lie. Not all Elders are good like Richard and Tom, but most are. And those who are not . . . They make their choices and will eventually get what they deserve.”
Sabrina contemplated what Theo said. She didn’t completely understand it, but she understood enough to accept it. “How did Richard protect me?”
“You really do not remember?”
She shook her head.
“He took you. You asked him and Tom, whom I brought in when I saw what was happening, and they took possession of you. They became your Masters.”
Her head spun with his words. “Masters? Plural?”
“It is not wise for one Elder to have sole possession of someone like you. It should be divided between several, but I only had time to retrieve Tom.”
“How long have I been asleep?”
“Only a little while.”
“How did Tom get here so quickly?”
“I told you. I brought him.” Theo smiled. “I am an Immortal, Sabrina. I am not limited by human constraints. I can appear and disappear at will. All Immortals can. Elders can journey with us because they have part of us inside themselves.”
“Oh.” She accepted him at his word. She had no idea how that worked, but right now, her head was starting to hurt from everything. “So, I have active Masters now? What does that mean? How did that happen?”
“They performed a brief ritual and you bonded sexually.”
She closed her eyes and thought back to being in the room. “I remember having sex, I think.”
“Yes. The Brotherhood uses sex for many things. Most people do not realize its power, but the Elders do and exploit its many uses.”
“I had sex with Richard?” she asked. “And Tom?”
Theo nodded.
Her heart fell. What would Chase think about that?
“They did it to protect you, Sabrina. Chase will understand.”
“How can he possibly understand?” she asked, exasperated at his calmness. “We have a fight, then I go and sleep with his father-figure and another guy, but he’ll be okay with that?” She let out a harsh laugh. “I suppose I can honestly say I don’t remember it.” She stared at the floor. She was upset with Chase about the idea of him being with other women, but she went and did the same thing. How could he ever forgive her for what she did?
“Sabrina, I can see what you and Chase argued over. May I offer my insight?”
She nodded, not looking up.
“Ultimately, you are upset about having to share him with other women, yes?”
She thought about Theo’s summary and realized that was the ultimate issue. She didn’t want to share Chase. “I don’t think that’s unreasonable.”
“For normal women, I agree. But you are not a normal woman. You are Koriathanati. You know you have strong sexual desires. You know you enjoy unusual sex. Sabrina, you need to accept that about yourself and embrace it. Chase is the type of man who will embrace it and help you explore it.”
“So he can sleep around?” she snapped.
“So you can be your true self,” he corrected gently. “And, yes, so he can perform his duties of the Brotherhood.”
“I’m supposed to sit home while he comes here and has sex with other women?”
“That is your choice. But you are always welcome to participate. You would even be able to come to the formal Gatherings and see what they are like. Wives are normally not allowed.”
Sabrina rubbed her temple. “I just want a normal relationship. I just want to be normal.”
“But you are not normal, Sabrina. You must accept that. Otherwise, you will spend your life trying to be what you cannot ever be.”
“What am I?” Sabrina asked after a few minutes of silence. “Is it foolish to want to get married and have a human life if I’m not human?”
“All Immortals have a tiny spark of humanity inside them,” Theo said solemnly. “It is how we were made. With the spark of human life, Kronos created us all. And because of that, somewhere deep inside, we all envy humanity with all its weaknesses. Humans have capabilities and depths we can only dream of.” He smiled. “You are the type of Immortal we all wish we could be. In tune with our humanity, yet with powers of an Immortal. Humans seem to want to be Immortal, and Immortals wish to be human. It has always been this way. This is why we interact with them. To see the part of ourselves that can never be.” He leaned back in his chair. “Is it foolish to have your desires? Not in the least. It is natural. And you have the ability to fulfill your dreams. Fear is natural, but you must not give in to it. Giving in to fear feeds the power of evil. It keeps you from doing the thing you know you should. It allows evil to win when good must win.”
“How do I know that marrying Chase is a good thing?”
“How could it be a bad thing?”
“Wouldn’t it be better to just become one of those Mistress things and work with the Elders? Isn’t that a better choice?”
Theo smiled. “Love is always the better choice. Love can take on evil unlike anything else. If you didn’t love Chase, I would counsel you to go under Richard’s care and serve him. But you do love Chase and he loves you. That is stronger than anything that might attack you. That is why marriage is such a strong bond. Love offers protection that can compare to nothing else in this world.”
Wait a second . . .”Chase loves me?”
He smiled. “You do not know that already?”
“He hasn’t told me.”
“What is love if it is not shown? Love is more than words. Words are meaningless without action. He shows he loves you with his actions. He will tell you when the time is right.”
Sabrina stared into the fire for a long moment. Chase loved her. She loved him. She sighed. It should make her happy, but it seemed to only confuse her more.
“If that Master wants me so badly, can’t you just, I don’t know, make me human so I’m useless to him?”
“Make you human?”
“The diamonds. They pull out the Immortality.” It hurt like hell, but if it kept others safe . . .
Theo looked sharply at her, an expression in his eyes she couldn’t quite understand. “You have seen those?”
Sabrina nodded. “I used one when I escaped. And Khyan used them on my mother and grandmother so he could kill them.”
Theo stared at her for a moment before standing and staring at the fireplace. “Those diamonds are not supposed to exist outside the Elder rings. They are from our world, the Immortal world.” He turned back around. “Did he have many?”
“Not a lot, but several.”
“They are known as soul-rippers. They were forged in the dark depths of our world to enable Kronos to pass judgment on the worst of beings. I cannot remember the last time they were used. The thought of them would stop most from acting upon their worst impulses.” He stared at her. “You used one voluntarily?”
“I wanted to escape,” she whispered, staring back at him.
He gave her a sympathetic smile. “The problem with the stones is that unless the being is destroyed, the power eventually returns. Immortality cannot really be destroyed, only minimized.”
Sabrina nodded. “It did ret
urn.”
“You are a very unusual creature. I am not surprised at your desires, Sabrina. You are unlike any demi-Immortal I have known before.” He smiled. “That is not a bad thing.”
“Thank you . . . I think.”
“But no, we cannot simply make you human so he does not want you. If he had you in his possession, it is not difficult to return your powers to you, and that is what he wants. Being with Chase, or Richard, is the safest place for you.”
Sabrina stared into the fire. “But how do I accept all this? How do I accept that Chase will come here and be with other women?”
“If you let yourself, you and he can have a very fulfilling sexual relationship.” He paused. “You do know there is a difference between sex and making love, do you not?”
She shrugged.
“Sex is recreational in its simplest sense. It is something to enjoy, something to express. Making love . . . Making love is between two bonded hearts and is something sacred. Something to be cherished above all things.”
She looked up and frowned. “I don’t understand the difference.”
“Do you always eat healthily?”
She rolled her eyes at another apparent analogy. “No.”
“But you feel fulfilled when you do? It is something you try to do on a regular basis?”
“Yes.”
“But you enjoy sweet treats now and then?”
She nodded.
“Making love is like a healthy, hearty meal that nourishes the soul. But sex, as it happens here, is like candy. Fun to eat, enjoyable, but not something you would want to eat all the time. Marriage between an Elder and his wife must be nourished regularly, or both will grow resentful. There is a deep bond that happens when two people marry, and it must be watched over. But that does not mean the sexual encounters here will diminish the love between husband and wife.” He reached forward and took her hands. “Chase loves you very much. He would never do anything to hurt you. But he also is an honorable man who will perform his duties as he must.”
“Getting a blowjob from a sex slave is a duty?”
“Of a sort, yes.”
Sabrina snorted.
“You must accept yourself first. Accept your past. Accept your nature. Only then will you be able to accept your role in the Brotherhood.”
“My role?”
“Your role is as you choose it. You can simply be a wife, you can be an Elder-Mistress, or you can be a wife and more. It is up to you.”
“How will I know?”
“You must be willing to see things for yourself, without judging according to your past experiences. Once you come and see, you will understand more and be able to make your choice.”
“But what about Richard and Tom? You said they were my Masters. How does that affect my relationship with Chase?”
“They are your Masters. It is not a permanent bonding, but will remain in place long enough to keep you safe until you make your final decision. If you decide to marry Chase, things will change. I will be honest, though. It is not safe for you to not have a Master.” Theo frowned. “There are others who are like Elders, but they are not. They do not have good intentions. They want women like you so they can gain control over the Elders. And, ultimately, the world.”
The look on Theo’s face filled her with dread.
“We thought they were eliminated many years ago, but there are whispers they are gaining power again. You must be careful. Your past, what happened to you, makes me wonder if they have already had you. But I can decipher nothing in your mind to tell me one way or the other. That concerns me more than anything.”
Her heart beat harder in her chest as fear gripped her very soul. “I don’t want to hurt anyone,” she whispered.
“I know you do not, Sabrina, but in their hands, it would not matter what you wanted. They have a different power. It is very dark and difficult to defeat.”
“So I can protect others from this group of people by remaining with the Elders?”
Theo nodded solemnly.
“Okay.” She swallowed hard. “I’ll do as you said.”
He nodded, his golden eyes warm. “You will be content and fulfilled, Sabrina. You must accept what you are, though. Do not try to be someone you are not. It will only make you miserable.”
After a few moments of silent contemplation, she asked, “What does a Master do?”
“A Master, in your case, watches over you and keeps you safe.”
“Can he tell me what to do?”
“Yes. And if you disobey, it will be painful.”
“Painful how?”
“Each Mistress experiences disobedience differently. I recommend not finding out. But Richard will not command you to do anything unless you are a danger to yourself or others. Their control over you is a matter of respect. Yes, they can make you do things, but they will not because they respect you. And me.”
A rustling sound behind her made her turn. She saw Richard and Tom standing in the doorway, wearing black robes. Their hair was ruffled and they looked a little wide-eyed.
“Are you okay, Sabrina?” Richard asked.
She felt an urge to stand. Like she shouldn’t be sitting when her Masters were near. Masters. She swallowed and stood. “Yes.”
Richard studied her face. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Theo’s been explaining what happened.”
“She does not remember much,” Theo explained. “I believe her natural instincts took over and allowed you to do what needed to be done.”
Tom and Richard chuckled. She looked back at Theo, confused.
“You were quite the . . . What is the term you humans use? Minx?” Theo said with a grin and a twinkle in his eyes.
“What did I do?” she asked, almost afraid to find out.
“You wore us out,” Tom said with a laugh and shook his head. “My dick is sore.”
Her eyes widened and she bit her lip. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Tom walked over to her and cupped her chin. “Don’t be, little one. It was quite enjoyable. Very enjoyable.” He kissed her on the forehead and smiled at her. “You’re safe now. That’s the important thing.”
She let out a soft sigh and smiled up at him, her heart and spirit completely open. His eyes widened slightly, then he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips. “I need to get home. I’m sure Kelsey is worried.” He glanced at Theo. “Can you take me home, or do I need to go the long way?”
Theo laughed. “I will take you home.”
“Who’s Kelsey?”
“My wife,” Tom answered.
Strangely, she didn’t feel a jolt of guilt for sleeping with a married man. Two, actually. They were Elders, and her Masters.
Maybe she was beginning to accept who she was.
“I went back and told her you were all right, but I am certain she would rather see you than hear it from me.” Theo saw Sabrina’s expression and shrugged. “I appeared quite suddenly at dinner and told him we needed to leave right away. As you can imagine, she was concerned.”
“Thank you. Let me get dressed and we can go.” Tom disappeared into the bedroom.
“Richard, I have explained to Sabrina a little about what a Master does, but she will probably have more questions.”
Richard nodded. “I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have,” he said with a warm smile, affection in his eyes.
She felt her heart and spirit open to him as it did for Tom and she bowed her head. “Thank you . . .” She trailed off, not sure how she should address him.
“Call me Master when we’re here, Sabrina. Outside the Manor, call me by my name.”
“Yes, Master,” she said, amazed at how easily it rolled off her tongue. And how it pleased her to say such a word. When Neil and Terric spoke it, it made her feel sick inside.
With Richard, it was different. It felt right.
Tom returned a moment later and he and Theo disappeared. She stared at the now empty space.
“What questions do you have, Sabrina?” Richard asked, sitting down in the chair Theo had vacated. “You may sit.”
She sat down gracefully and looked at her knees. “I don’t even know what to ask,” she said softly. “I feel a little overwhelmed.” She paused. “And, at the same time, kinda peaceful.” She glanced up to see Richard watching her closely.
He nodded. “As I understand it, someone such as yourself feels more at peace when they have a Master. A good Master, not an abusive one. I’ve not been around the Elder-Mistresses a lot, but I’ve seen enough to know that they love their positions and their Masters. Not that I expect you to love me,” he added quickly. “It was just an observation.”
“I do feel a level of affection for you that I didn’t feel before,” she admitted.
Richard grinned. “And I feel the same.” He reached out and patted her hand. His touch made her breath catch in her throat. She swallowed hard, embarrassed at her reaction.
She knew it wasn’t meant to be sexual, but she felt desire in her belly. She wanted to touch him, to please him. And she felt ashamed that she did.
“You’re becoming aroused again?” he asked softly.
She nodded, staring at the floor and clasping her hands together. “How can you tell?”
“I saw it in your eyes. And your cheeks are becoming flushed.” She heard him shift in his seat. “I won’t force you to please me, Sabrina. If you’re conflicted, I can stop it.”
“What do you mean stop it?”
“Come and kneel before me.”
She did as he said and he placed his hands on her head. They were large, warm, and comforting. But kneeling in front of him made her want to reach out and touch him. A warmth spread through her body and the overwhelming sense of desire dissipated. She could still feel it, but she felt more in control of her own body.
As Richard removed his hands, she opened her eyes and stared up at him. “Why would you do that?”
He tilted his head. “Because you’re not ready for more yet. Your body wants sex, but your mind is conflicted. You need to talk to Chase and make up with him first.”
Master of My Heart Page 43