"I don't know," he smirks, tracing my chin with a finger. "Did it?"
I nip the finger, draw it into my mouth and give it a nice long suck before he pulls it away. "Why don't you lose the towel and we find out, cowboy."
His eyes make a slow pass down my body before he moves the pizza box to the table. "You're going to eat this later."
Each of my muscles is twitchin' like I can feel him touchin' me as I nod in compliance to his words. "Yes, sir."
"But now," he stands next to the bed again as the towel drops to the floor. "Voy a hacerte el amor, Saúl."
Fuck me. The sound 'a his Spanish rumblin' so low in a promised whisper as he eases onto the bed has every part 'a me on edge. I don't rightly know what he said. Somethin' 'bout love; the love I can see clearly translated in the way he's lookin' at me.
His gaze flicks to the bedside lamp. "Light on or off?"
"On, please. I... I wanna see you." So I don't ever forget the look in your eyes.
"Good," he grins.
My brow raises high. "Like ta' watch, cowboy?"
"Saúl," his head dips down to nip my shoulder. "I've been watching you for two damn years. I love to watch you. I'm going to watch with pleasure as my cock slides in and out of your ass, and then I'm going to watch that moment when you come so fucking hard, you can't think straight for days. I want to watch it all and never forget it."
"Oh, damn," my whole body convulses. His accent is thick and his words are filled with deviant promises I want him to fulfill. "Yes, please."
"Alright," he smiles again then speaks softly as featherlight touches tickle down my chest. "Next question-"
I have a feeling where this is going - those necessary questions when two people come together for the first time. I'm so used to dealing with them at the club, that I'd already prepared my answer. Stopping his words with a snuck kiss, I reach under the pillow to withdraw the stash I'd hidden earlier.
I hold out the lube and condom to him but make sure he understands where I stand. "I Assist at the club, but I only have intercourse with Vickie, an' you know Brandon requires members ta' get tested, anyway. I'm clean. I trust you, too, Austin, so the condom is up ta' you."
Taking the condom from my fingers, he looks at it a moment then sets it aside on the nightstand. His eyes get all serious when he turns them back to me. "If you've only had sex with Victoria, does that mean I'll be the first to be inside you?"
Christ. When he puts it that way, I can feel the jittery anticipation building. Austin is gonna be my first. I can't think of anyone else I'd ever trust enough with this. It should scare the shit out of me, given the history, but it doesn't. Having him close is keeping all those shadows away.
With a slow inhale, I nod. "Vickie's offered, with a strap-on, I mean, but... I just... with what happened and-"
"Shh," he pulls me into his strong arms, and I don't reckon I've felt this secure in a long time. "I know, darlin'. That's why we're going to take this as slow or as fast as you need. Anytime, you say 'oak tree' and I'll gladly just hold you the rest of the night and be content with it."
My smile blossoms against his shoulder. He knows my safe-word - the one me an' Vickie picked out because 'a the tree-fort in that old oak tree I used to run to after...
No. I aint goin' there. Those damn shadows can kiss my skinny ass tonight. Tonight, I'm gonna rebuild that part 'a myself, with Austin's help, an' come out better for it.
"I'm ready for this," my voice trembles a bit, but it's not 'cause I'm afraid. "I want this, Austin. I want it so damn bad, and I want it with you. Only you. This part 'a me - it's yours from now on."
His hold on me tightens. "Thank you," he whispers.
It's simple words, but I can hear everything behind them. "I love you, Austin."
"I love you, Saul," his reply lights a fire in my heart, an' all them shadows is obliterated.
The fire shoots sparks across my skin until it rages like an inferno as his lips trace ghosted kisses along my neck. The pain Victoria gives to me helps keep my mind focused so I can let myself take pleasure in something that was ruined for me a long time ago. Austin's gentle strength is havin' the same effect as Vickie's flogger. It shocks me, an' I can't wait to experience both sensations together.
Those kisses continue, then his teeth are on my pulse, biting into the nerve and makin' me quiver in his grasp. He aint let me go yet; those calloused, workin'-man's hands gliding across my skin and holdin' me near. Two fingers find and pinch my nipple, a choked gasp expelling past my lips as he expertly rolls that nipple taught.
Damn, his hands are fuckin' incredible.
That same hand abandons my nipple, much to my whimpering protests, but as those fingers skirt along the line under my belly button, my protests are exchanged for urging pleas. I can feel the heat 'a his hand hoverin' so close to my dick. My dick strains to be touched; weeps to have my lover's hand around it.
My lover aint no fool, though. Austin is a damn tease, and I love him for it.
One finger touches the piercing at my cock's tip, then leaves me wanting. That same, evil finger trails a line down the bottom 'a my shaft before his hand surrounds my sac with a soft squeeze. That move has me arching into the sheets. "Oh, fuck!"
When his finger tickles my taint, I think I might just keel over from the vibrations hittin' me from head ta' toe. "Please," I'm beggin', because that finger is just a small taste 'a what I know's ta' come.
"Open your eyes, Saul."
Wait, what? Holy shit, I didn't even realize I'd closed them. The man's barely touched me an' already he's got me losin' my damn mind.
"Open them," he gently commands.
"Yes, sir," I open them to his smile, an' that gorgeous sight makes me want to never close them again.
His reward to my obedience is moving that finger farther south to tap against the tight ring 'a muscle that's tingling with anticipation. All my sensations have centered around that point as much as the head 'a my swollen dick. When his finger strokes my entrance, it damn near undoes me.
"That what you want?"
"Please!" I cry in response. I gotta feel his fingers back inside me like they was in the shower. I need it. "Please, Austin. Don't tease me no more."
"I've just begun, darlin'. Like I said; Voy a hacerte el amor - I'm going to make love to you all night long."
Oh. So that's what that means. Woo-boy. Ye-up, me an' Dora are gonna become close friends after this. "Please? Uh, más rápido por favor?"
My sorry accent and cartoon-learned Spanish makes him chuckle, then one eyebrow raises as he glances at the lube bottle. "Peppermint?"
I bite my lip to stop from grinnin' like a damn fool. "I may or may not wear your Chapstick that's in my truck from time ta' time."
That admission has the sexiest expression forming on his face - hooded eyes, tight flexing jaw and a sly smile that has all my parts awake. "Roll over," his low voice orders.
Oh, fuckin' hell-yeah! I can't get rolled over fast enough, and he slaps my ass as I flounder a bit in the sheets. With a kiss between my shoulder blades, he reaches above me to grab a pillow, then he's shovin' that pillow under my hips. The fabric rubs against my cock, and by instinct I rub back.
That earns me another smack against my left ass-cheek. "Hold still."
"Yes, sir," though I wiggle just a little bit more, winning me a third smack and some chuckling. I love his laugh; always have. Deep, rolling thunder, but soothing instead of ominous. That laugh lets me know I'm in the trusted presence of my best friend; it lets me know I'm safe.
The sound 'a the bottle cap snapping shut lets me know I'm about to get what I've been begging him for since the shower. Two fingers circle my entrance then across it, lubing the area with a slick glide that has my thigh muscles burning with the urge to push against his hand. The fingers leave, I whimper at their departure, then both his strong hands are gripping my ass cheeks.
Sweet mother of-!
My thoughts die in an explosion 'a sparks as he
parts those cheeks and dives into my hole with the hot flick of his tongue. The tip penetrates me, then leaves me aching for more before his mouth suckles my taint. That area of nerves sends rapid jitters up my spine, but what I want is to feel full.
"Please," I groan into the sheets as my cock grinds down into the pillow.
"Soon," he says, that word full of promise.
Another hard lick up my taint and over my entrance is enough to send me bucking back against him. Finally, just when I can't take no more teasing, his finger replaces the tongue. Damn, it's so good, but it's not enough. "More!"
I want more. I want more of his fingers. More of his touch. More of his cock. I just want Austin to be inside me, fillin' in all these empty spaces an' joinin' us together.
One finger is joined by another. It's tight for a few strokes, then loose until he adds a third. Each succeeding pump stretches me further, opening my body to him. His hand disappears, an' I think this is it - the moment where he joins us together. I'm ready for it; ready for him an' me to become us.
"Turn over," he whispers with a kiss to my shoulder as his hands coax me onto my back.
I can't stop smilin' at this move - this gesture of somethin' only lovers do. He aint gonna fuck me; not tonight. Tonight, we're gonna look into each other's eyes as we come. Tonight, we're gonna make love.
The pillow remains tucked into the small of my back, liftin' my hips up just a bit. I feel the heat of his cock slide along my ass before his tip taps the entrance. More lube; soft caresses; tugs up and down my own dick - it has me writhing beneath him. There's no hurry, but every moment is an aching, rushed reach for the next.
"Austin," it's a begging plea and a love-filled cry all in the same breath as I feel his cock sinking into me.
"Slow and easy, mi amor," he leans over to kiss my lips, tongues dancing as another inch slides in.
It's a tight burn mingled with sensations I can't rightly describe. Pleasing tingles. Sparks. Every new inch is another inch closer to feeling complete. Suddenly, he pulls all the way out, leavin' me empty and cryin' out at the loss.
"Keep your eyes open, Saul. I want to look into those green eyes that have haunted my dreams for so long. I want you to see how much I love you."
I force my eyes open, givin' him the focused attention he deserves. His eyes, those stormy grays, have also filled my dreams a time or two. We share a smile as my hand finds his cheek, and our eyes stare unwavering as he penetrates me again.
"Yes," I hiss. "More, Austin. I need more 'a you. Please!"
"Anything for you," he groans, pulling back to the cusp then slamming home.
"Yes!" I damn near scream as his dick hits against that spot inside where all my pleasure is bound up in a knot. My hips arch up, angling to make him hit it again. And again. And again - each thrust unraveling me a bit more.
His breathing starts to match mine, inhale for exhale and grunting, heavy pants for air. One of his hands braces the back of my knee, the angle of my hips sharping at a tilt that lets him drive against the right spot in rapid fire. Stars build in my vision an' I know I aint got much longer.
"Austin," is all I can say as his other hand wraps around my swollen dick, rubbing against the piercings an' draggin' me over the edge. I come hard with a cry, but force my eyes to stay open even as I'm blinded by all the pleasure coursing through me.
"I love you," his whispers, watching my face just like he said he would, then I see him join me in bliss.
I feel it, too - wet heat fillin' all the cracks in my soul, uniting us in a way so beautiful an' perfect it makes us both smile. He feels that beautiful connection, too. I can see it in his eyes, mixed in with all the love he has for me.
Please, let me be worthy 'a that much love.
Victoria
I'm back in another hospital. The stale, sterile Waiting Room air fills my lungs as I yawn and the huge wall clock across the way ticks over to midnight. Joey's pacing the floor in front of our bench while Daddy's head is resting against my shoulder. His excitement had kept him up as long as it could, but he lost the battle about an hour ago.
In a way, this whole situation is funny. Joey finally gets up the courage to come outta the closet, and Tabitha has to steal the show by going into labor. It's also taken the focus off me and that dark closet I'm still hiding part of myself in. Baby or not, I know I'll have to step all the way out of it eventually.
Right now, though, I can barely hold a thought, much less explain how I'm in love with one man who's also in love with another. Shoot, it makes my own head spin as I try to figure out what all I need to say, how much I should say and how I'm going to say it. It's exhausting, like trying to bring something you love so much into this world and hope people will accept it.
The fact that we're in the maternity ward isn't lost on me during that crazy train of thought. Maybe I'm over-thinking it. Maybe I should sleep on it and talk to my boys before I open my mouth.
My eyelids have been drooping at irregular intervals, greatly needed sleep threatening to take me under. It's during one of my rapid blinks to try and stay awake that a man tall enough to match Joey's height appears. In a lucid moment, my heart hopes it's Saul. God, I'd love to see his smile and hold his hand right now.
"Reverend Harris?" the deep voice wakes me up from the dream as the young doctor's face comes into focus.
"W-what?" Daddy startles awake. "Baby's here?"
"Not yet, Reverend," the tall, young doctor smiles. His name-tag says Dr. C. Knight.
"Oh, Calvin," Daddy straightens up with a clearing of his throat. "How's my Tabitha?"
"Doing just fine, but we don't think the baby will be along for another day or so."
Joey snorts. "Stubborn, just like her momma."
"Seems that way," Calvin laughs. "We've set her up in an observation room with some medicine to help her rest. Jerry and little Tessa are up there with her." His golden eyes land on me. "You must be Victoria?"
I can't keep my eyebrow still as it quirks up. "I am."
"Sorry," he grins at the curious warning in my voice while holding out his hand. "My dad, Samson, mentioned you were in town.”
Oh. “It was a pleasure meeting him yesterday,” I return the smile and shake his hand because it's polite, but I hope this young doctor hasn't gotten any strange ideas in his head about me and his dad. I'm not even the least bit interested in being a step-mother.
Calvin doesn't prolong the handshake beyond what's customary, but his smile widens before his attention goes back to my dad. “Reverend, why don't you go on home. There's no telling exactly when this baby may come, but with the way Tabitha is progressing, I think it'll be at least dinner time tomorrow before we can begin an induction.”
Daddy considers the advice for a moment before sighing with a nod. “Alright, if you think it's best. I just hate to leave her.”
“Jerry's up there,” I remind him.
“And I'll call and update Ruth,” Joseph adds. “She'll come in the morning, I'm sure. And we can all come back tomorrow morning, or if anything changes.”
“My shift ends in an hour,” Dr. Knight says with a glance to me that has my heart fluttering a bit. He's handsome, and I won't lie and say the attention from someone a few years younger isn't flattering. “But I'm back on shift at noon.”
Daddy's looking between us and I see his eyes twinkle a bit. “Why not come to the house for a late breakfast, then?”
I refrain from rolling my eyes. We're in the hospital at midnight, because Tabitha is about to pop out a kid, and Daddy is playing match-maker with Samson's son. Damn. Setting me up with this young doctor was probably his plan the whole time.
Joey's snickering a bit, and I know he's about to earn himself a beating. “Yeah, come on by, Calvin. I'm sure Tori and I can rustle up something halfway edible.”
The little shit is pushing me towards the edge of the bridge again, so I put one hand on my hip in a defensive stance. I'm not ready to jump quite yet. “Depends on what you conside
r edible.”
Calvin laughs quietly. “I'm used to single microwave dinners at home or hospital cafeteria food, so I'm sure whatever you have will be just fine.”
I catch the hint Calvin dropped while Joey's behind him, trying not to bust a gut as he holds the laughter in. "Well, at least you work at the hospital, so I don't have to worry about food poisoning."
Calvin chuckles with a small blush in obvious flirtation. "Trust me, after living on ramen noodles and Lean Cuisine since my internship, I'll be grateful for scrambled eggs and burnt toast." After a wink at me, he turns back to Elijah. “Thank you for the invitation, Reverend. Now, go on home and get some rest. Doctor's orders.”
Daddy falls asleep on the drive home and Joseph helps him into bed. It's becoming clear how old Daddy's starting to get, and I think that's why he's become so intent recently on pairing me up with someone. Calvin is certainly better than Samson, but he's not Saul and Austin.
Saul and Austin.
My brain has automatically started including Austin anytime I think of Saul. Austin's become part of what I want for my future – that extra set of arms to hug and that extra shoulder to lean on. Austin's a good man, too, and I know he'll always take care of Saul if anything should happen to me.
If those two have stopped playing stupid around each other, that is. I should call them, but it's too late, or early, and I'm too damn tired.
Falling into bed, I remember that I've got to get up and cook breakfast for Dr. Calvin in the morning. He seems like a nice man, and I don't want to give him any wrong ideas about where he and I could lead to. I think tomorrow it'll be best for everyone if I come clean about where my heart stands on everything.
Daddy accepted Joseph with open arms, so I think there's hope for me, too. Tabitha, well, I'm trying to believe that she just needs time. Ruth actually laughed about it when Joseph called her from the hospital, saying she'd been pretty sure about his homosexuality for a while. As for Michael, Ruth said she'd take care of it.
Jerry's right. Family is family.
If You Still Want Me Page 9