The cute, cocky bastard fully understands what he's doing ta' my body an' my heart, talkin' so beautifully to me. I hold onto his shirt to keep from fallin' as all my anxiety melts away into a blissful daydream 'bout me an' him, naked in that backseat, waiting for Vickie to come make the dream perfect. He says somethin' 'bout love, and I smile.
"That. Teach me that, cowboy."
"Teach you what?"
"How to say... 'I love you both' in Spanish."
His own smile matches mine, cheeks darkening into that coy little blush 'a his that highlights the strong, masculine features of his face. I love it when he smiles like that, especially when it's me that done put the smile on his face. One 'a my goals in life has become making him smile like that as often as possible.
"It's easy," he says, lookin' me deep in the eyes. "Te amo is I love you deeply. Te amo, Saúl," he whispers before kissing me. "Then, you just add a los dos, which means 'both' - so," He glances over my shoulder as the screen door creaks behind me. "Te amo a los dos."
"Te amo a los dos," Vickie's voice repeats as she steps up behind me, puttin' me in the middle.
God, I love being in the middle!
"Teh a-mo alos dose," I try, but my country-boy accent fucks up my attempted Spanish.
"Close enough, darlin'," Austin winks at me then hugs me tight with Vickie.
This is now my most favorite place in the whole wide world. Simple moments we can share together. Times when the rest of the world can pass on by for a bit and just let us be.
"Did you speak with Anna?" Vickie's question reminds me that we can't hide in moments like this forever. We got friends and family that need us, and shit that still needs sortin'.
"I did," Austin's chest rumbles against mine as he speaks. "We're invited over for dinner, and she said Sarah should be stopping by in another hour or so to pick up Kylie and Bastion."
"Poor kid," I snort. "Name like Bastion is just askin' for trouble."
"Maybe he can join my club with Alex and Joey," Austin shrugs. "We aren't middle-name exclusive."
We share another hug and light laughter before piling into Vickie's SUV. She drives and I take shotgun this time, reachin' over and holdin' her hand as we drive the back roads into Midlothian. Traffic isn't too bad for a Sunday, even though Midlothian seems to get busier and bigger every time I run through it. Startin' ta' wonder how much longer it'll be before Dallas-Fort Worth stretches so big that it's knockin' on Brandon's front door.
When you come from a speck on the map like Alvarado, towns like Midlothian, with their own Walmart, can seem huge. Heck, first time I stepped foot into Dallas, I thought I'd gone to another planet. I still get dizzy in the middle of downtown.
Yeah, you can take the country-boy to the city, but...
"Sarah's car is still at the diner," Vickie points out as we drive past 'Auntie B's Diner'.
I crane my next to look out her window at the packed parking lot, spotting Kyle's red Camaro. He's sitting in his car, smoking. "So's Kyle. Not real subtle, is he?"
"Thought he quit smoking," Austin sighs. "Was doing good, too."
"Now he's gone stalker," I grumble, wondering if I should ask Vickie ta' pull over so I can go have a talk at him.
"He's worried, sweetie." Vickie pulls away from the stoplight and makes a turn towards Annabelle's apartment complex. "You remember what happened last time Rob came back? He nearly got Sarah fired."
"Stupid sumbitch. Showin' up drunk in the middle 'a her shift, raisin' hell just 'cause they was outta beer at home. Not that you can rightly call that dump a home..."
Vickie lets out a harsh exhale. "Maybe, but it's her home."
"You think I don't know that? But they don't pay shit at that diner and she's got two kids ta' roof and feed, with no help from Rob. Where you think my money goes, honey? You think I just up and spend it all on video games?"
Vickie bites her bottom lip as Austin clears his throat. He hasn't heard this conversation before, even though it's an old argument 'tween Vickie and I. I got no place of my own because I was stayin' at Vickie's place more than my own apartment, so I started puttin' that rent money into a secret college fund don't no one knows 'bout. Them kids is goin' ta' college if it's the last thing on this Earth I make sure happens.
I also spoil Sarah's kids rotten and have sunk more money into that shithole house than it's worth tryin' ta keep it liveable. That's what Vickie gets up on her high-horse about. She thinks I'm tossin' money into a fire pit and has mentioned more than once that Sarah should sell and move.
"You know that house was Granny's," I throw in the usual emotional arrow. It's wrong to do, but it's the only real argument I got. Usually, I'd hold onto it with tooth an' nail, but I'm too dang tired to keep up the old fight. "But I agree with you, too. She should sell it and move on."
"Saul," she inhales, a bit shocked I think.
Good. Maybe it's high-time I stopped playin' the same ole song an' dance routine. Part 'a my growin' up, I suppose.
"I'm sorry I keep bringing it up, sweetie."
"Don't be, honey." I take her hand, a bit surprised myself at her apology. "I know yer only worried, same as me, but I think maybe things have gone on this way long enough."
She tugs my hand over and kisses it. "I agree."
"She should also get divorced and get it over with," I add. "If she's in love with Kyle, like y'all keep tellin' me, then she shouldn't be married ta' Rob."
"It's not that simple," Vickie sighs as she pulls into a parking space at the apartment complex. "I think she's trying to do what's best for the kids."
"Is she?" I shake my head, 'cause I can't agree with that, an' Vickie's frown tells me she don't buy into it, either.
"Saul," Austin's hand cups my shoulder. "Let's wait and listen to her side, yeah?"
Damn. He's right, too. His touch also helps simmer me back down. Between him and Vickie, I aint got a snowball's chance in Hell 'a stayin' as mad as I want.
"Yeah. First, let's have ourselves a chat with yer sister. How much you wanna tell her?"
Austin's eyes close for a second, then he opens them back up with an intense decision in his eyes. "Everything."
Victoria
Everything.
It takes me a few seconds to force my heart back into a normal rhythm. Austin wants to tell Anna everything, and I'd be lying if I said that doesn't make me anxious. I happy he wants to be honest with his sister about us, but I'm worried the idea is going to go over like a led balloon.
It's not that Anna is closed-minded. Far from it. She's been supportive of Austin and his lifestyle choices, to my knowledge anyway, and she doesn't seem to care that Brandon runs a BDSM club. Anna has a bit of a wild-streak herself, including the hot-pink highlights she currently has woven into her thick black hair that catch the sunlight as she waves at us from her balcony.
No, I'm not worried about Anna's acceptance of anything her brother decides to do with his life. I'm worried about Anna's acceptance of me.
I've known for a while that the girl doesn't think too fondly of me, for whatever reason. I wish I understood why so I could find a way to fix it. She gets on so well with Saul. I guess I'm jealous of that; that maybe I won't be good enough for Austin, in Anna's eyes, while Saul is.
What if she's found out about what I do at Brandon's club? God. I take a whip and paddle to Saul's backside because he asks me to, and because I enjoy giving Saul anything and everything he wants. What if Anna thinks I'm some sort of evil witch who enjoys hurting people and is going to start taking a whip to her brother?
"Vickie?" Saul's concerned question breaks in, but the anxiety stays put. "Damn. I'm sorry, honey. You know I hate arguing-"
"It's alright, sweetie." I swallow my nerves, lift my chin and squeeze his hand as we watch Austin walking up the outside stairs to Anna's apartment. Anna's dislike of me aside, Austin needs my full attention and support for this. "Just trying to think about what we can say to help Austin explain things."
"Annab
elle's pretty open," he shrugs, tugging me along towards the stairs. "Let's let Austin say what he wants to say, then go from there."
"Alright." When did Saul get so practical?
"Uncle Saul!" Kylie's high-pitched squeal greets us as we step into the apartment, her arms open as she runs to hug him. She's twelve going on thirteen, but hasn't hit that 'I'm too cool for hugs' phase yet. Her light blond hair and dark blue eyes give a hint that she's going to be a heart-breaker once she hits high school.
"Hey there, buggyboo!" Saul accepts the hug with a huge grin. He loves the girl to pieces and spoils her rotten.
Kylie giggles and pulls away. "I'm almost thirteen. I'm too big to be a buggyboo."
"Never!" Saul tickles her in retaliation.
"Okay, okay! I take it back!" She squirms away from him then hugs me, too. "Hi, Aunt Vickie."
"Hello, sweetheart. I like your hair. Did Anna do it for you?"
"She did!" Kylie beams while fluffing one of her curls, then she pouts her bottom lip, just like Saul does. Uh-oh. Future brat alert, and it's adorable. "But she wouldn't dye it pink like I wanted."
"Because it's against your school's dress code," Annabelle says from the living room where she's hugging Austin.
"They don't let us do anything," Kylie huffs with a melodramatic roll of the eyes then looks back up at Saul. Her teeth gnaw into her bottom lip as the toes of one foot twist into the carpet. "Dad's back."
"I know," he sighs quietly, touching her hair.
"He's bad this time," she says, her true age showing. Poor girl's had to grow up so fast. "Momma's worried, and he's drinking again."
"I'm sorry, boo." Saul tugs her back into a hug. "We're gonna get him help. I promise."
"Okay," she nods, pulling away and trying to act older than she is. "Uncle Kyle said so, too. He stopped by last night, after Dad passed out." Her brow furrows up at Saul. "You two still fightin'?"
Saul grimaces. "He told you 'bout that?"
"I asked him how he got the black eyes..." Her sharp, sapphire blues narrow a bit.
"And he won't lie to you," Saul sighs. "Dangit. Yeah, I'm sorry yer uncles is stupid sometimes."
"Are stupid," she corrects, one hand on her hip. "Did you say sorry yet?"
"Not yet," Saul fingers her curls. "But, I will. I promise."
"Okay." And simple as Saul's promise, Kylie's smiling again. Glancing over her shoulder, she turns her heart-melting smile on Austin. "You'll make sure he does?"
"I will," he chuckles as Saul huffs through a grin.
"Where's the rugrat?" Saul seeks a new topic.
"Bastion's asleep in my bedroom," Anna answers. "Best behaved, quietest baby I've ever known."
"He sleeps all the time," Kylie agrees.
"Kylie," Austin's voice is hushed as he steps up to her. "Would you mind watching over him for a little while in the bedroom?"
Kylie frowns at this with a cross of her arms. "Y'all got adult stuff to talk about? I'm almost thirteen, you know."
"I know, sugar," Austin swoons a bit under Kylie's blue-eyed gaze. "It's not that I think you're too young, but it's something we have to talk to Anna and your momma about first, before we have permission to talk to you about it. Comprenda?"
"Sí," she sighs but gives in. "Porque Te quiero."
"Very good!" Austin grins with pride. "I love you too, sugar."
Once the bedroom door closes and we're all situated in the living room, Austin reaches over and takes Anna's hand. "Are you alright?"
Anna inhales a deep breath, her eyes passing over Saul and I before turning back to her brother. "I feel like an idiot, but yeah, I'm okay."
"Cody's the idiot," Saul grumbles. "You gave that boy a year ta' get his shit together. What kinda man does that on New Year's?"
"An unworthy one," I answer, my gaze on Anna, hoping to find some sort of connection with her. As usual, all I get is a cool appraisal.
"He got his shit together, and maybe that was the problem," she shrugs. "He decided he's gonna go back to college for business. Apparently, a girl who works at a hair salon is no longer on his level."
Austin curses six ways in Spanish. "He said that?!"
"In so many words," she sighs. "'We have different goals', he said. 'Don't you wanna get outta Midlothian?' he asked.. along with more bullshit excuses than an adulterous politician. I told him I'm happy here, thought we were happy, then said that if he's not, he's more than able to find the door. So," her shoulders slump, "he did."
"Fuck 'em," Saul huffs. "After all you did for him... You're pretty an' smart an' strong. He just couldn't deal with that, so fuck 'em. You'll find someone better who won't make you hang on for a year."
"Thanks," she half grins, with unhidden fondness in her eyes.
I wish she'd look at me with half the friendliness she's always shown Saul. I hate being bitter about it, but I am.
"So," she exhales. "I'm thinking you didn't ask Kylie to leave the room just so we could bash my ex-boyfriend, yes?"
"Yes," Austin starts then stops with a glance to Saul and I.
"If this is about Rob," Anna takes over, "And... Kyle...," she says more hushed. "I'll tell you what I told Sarah - leave the drunk fool but don't fall into the other fool's arms just because they're open."
I smirk at that, because it's good advice. "That's one thing we were hoping to discuss, once Sarah comes to pick up the kids."
"Okay," Anna's eyebrow raises, her eyes on me for a second before looking back at Austin. "And, what's the other thing?"
Austin scratches his chin. "There aint no real simple way to say this besides just saying it, I think..."
When he stops, Anna's eyes widen with worry. "Well, spit it out. Are you sick or something?"
"No!" Austin chuckles with a huge exhale. "Why you always thinking Nana and I are about to kill over?"
"I do not! Okay, yes, maybe I worry. But, your health... and... Saul, back me up, bro!"
"You know I agree, chicka," Saul winks at her, "But, his health is fine."
"Okay, then what is it?"
Austin sits up a bit straighter, glances to me and Saul again then meets Anna's concerned gaze. "You know I've been in love with Saul for a while. Well, we've decided to give it a try. A relationship, I mean. The three of us...."
"Oh." Anna blinks at him for a quiet moment, then looks at me and Saul. "Wait, what?! Back that bus up, hombre."
"I love yer brother," Saul steps in. "But, I still love Vickie, same as I always have. I love them both."
"But... How...."
"I love Saul," I try next. "I also love your brother. It's a different kind of love, but no less important to me. I want them both to be happy, more than anything."
"You do?" Annabelle's shock surprises me.
"Of course I do," my head tilts. What has she thought of me these past two years? She must think I'm awful. "I know you don't approve of me, Anna, but I deeply care about Austin, and-"
"You don't approve of her?" Austin interjects with a stern glance at his sister. "What does that mean?"
"Don't get mad at her," I sigh. "It's just the vibe I've been getting. Am I wrong?"
Anna squirms a bit in her seat then lifts her chin up. "No. A sister must always stand on the side of her brother, and you're in the way of what would make him the happiest."
"Annabelle," Austin gasps. "¡Eso es malo!"
"Es la verdad," she responds then glances at Saul and I. "Maybe it's a bad thing to say, but it's the truth."
"Dang," Saul runs a hand through his hair. "I had no idea. 'Course, dense as I am, I had no idea yer brother was gay, either."
"You... You didn't?" Anna looks between him and Austin. Wow, guess there's more secrets floating around than anyone knew. With a finger waggling at her brother, she huffs. "You told me not to say anything because of Victoria. How was I supposed to take that?"
"Ai, Lo siento. I'm sorry, but... maldito, I'm messing this up."
"It's alright, sweetie," I reach across Saul to take A
ustin's hand, then I look at Anna. "No hard feelings. You and I want the same thing, Anna. We both want Austin to be happy."
"Okay," her response comes out slowly, her confusion still obvious. "So you're, what? Going to share Saul with Austin? How... How does that even work?"
Saul giggles a bit, putting his hand over mine that's still holding onto Austin's. "We're still figuring that out ourselves, chicka, but mostly, we just all love each other enough ta' give it a try."
Anna leans back in her seat, thinking on it for a moment as both eyebrows lift. "Whoa."
"Ohmygosh!" a high voice startles us from behind. "Does this mean you're gonna get married and live together and have kids together like those people on T.V.?!"
We all collectively turn to stare at Kylie, who's staring right back at us, mouth slightly parted and an empty baby bottle in her hand. Shit. "Well," but, I don't know how to talk to kids, even kids as smart as Kylie. "You weren't supposed to hear that, sweetie."
"Er," her feet shuffle a bit, just like Saul does when he's been caught doing something he shouldn't. "Sorry, but Bastion's waking up, so I was gonna make him a bottle, and... I kinda heard... everything..." Her voice trails off as her gaze drops to the carpet.
"Baby bottle, my butt," Saul shakes his head with a sort. "You was spyin' on us, buggyboo."
"I..." She looks like she's about to argue, but thinks better of it. "Yes, sir."
Saul narrows his eyes. "And just what kinda television show you been watchin', missy?"
"Oh, c'mon, Uncle Saul! It's on The Learning Channel. If it was bad, it'd be on Mtv."
"Can't argue with the kid's logic," Anna shrugs in a muffled laugh.
"So..." Kylie pushes with renewed confidence. "Y'all are really together?"
"We'd hoped to talk to your mom first," Austin says, then nods. "But yeah, me and your Uncle Saul and Aunt Victoria are committed to each other. We can't get married, but-"
"Says who?" Saul pipes up.
"W-well," I stutter a bit, wondering what crazy idea the boy's got in his head. "The State of Texas, for starters."
"Minor detail," Saul shrugs it off like it aint no big deal.
If You Still Want Me Page 20