by L. J. Swartz
I walk around for a long time. When I finally come back, the entire hotel it's dark. I can see the light of a tv in the window of our room. I was honestly hoping she'd be asleep. Helen texted me while I was gone. Dad will be released by the end of the week as long as he keeps progressing the same. That's awesome news. I jog up the steps. I get to our door and realize I don't have a key. I check the knob, locked. I'm not angry. I'm glad she locked herself in. I hold my hand up to knock. It opens before I can. I instantly feel like a pile of shit. Her eyes are red rimmed and blood shot. She's been crying, A LOT. "Babe?" She holds her hands up. "Don't Dalton. I was wrong, and I'm sorry." I pull her into my arms. She clings to my shirt tightly. "I'm sorry Carmen. I just felt like you kept something that was pretty important from me." She nods against my chest. "You're right I did. I'm sorry." I kiss her hair then slide my hands to her face tilting her head up. "You're forgiven babe. I want him gone though. I'm moving in when we get back." She starts to nod, then widens her eyes. "You're what?" I smile slowly. "Moving in with you, unless you don't want me there?" She gets a huge smile on her face. "Of course I want you there. But....." I raise my eye brow. "But what?" I bark making her jump. "Nothing. I'll tell him to be gone by the time we get back." I nod then push on her hips so I can step into the room. She doesn't let go of my shirt. "Are you ok?" She meets my gaze shaking her head yes. I sigh. "I mean....from earlier." She smiles deviously. "Oh god yes." I smirk then lick my lips. "So how about I get a shower, and when I come out, you're naked on the bed." She bites her bottom lip nodding her head. I smack her ass then walk out around her to the bathroom. I close the door behind me then start the shower. I strip down and piss. My phone beeps like it's dying. I pull it from my pants and open the door holding it out. "Car will you put this on a charger." She takes it telling me, "Yes I can." I close the door again then get in the shower. The hot water feels great. I stand under it for a bit then get washed up. I have a lady waiting for me. I turn the shower off and grab a towel off the rack. I get dried off quickly. I should have grabbed my bag. I don't have deodorant in here with me. Oh well I just showered. I'll put it on as soon as we're done. I'm about to open the door when I hear Carmen raise her voice. I open it a crack and listen. "I am not going to deal with this Luke. I told him about us and he wants you gone. NO I didn't tell him that part, but I will, ok. I just need you gone. LUKE you need to be gone." I open the door a bit more as she slams her phone off the bed. It bounces off and lands on the floor. She has her shirt and shorts off, but is still wearing panties. "Uh everything ok?" She looks to me and huffs. "Super. Guess you know I have more I need to tell you now." I nod then walk over and sit on the bed in front of her pulling her to my lap. She straddles my legs facing me. "Carmen what else do you need to tell me?" She searches my face then looks down. I slide my hand to her cheek forcing her to look at me. "Luke and I, um..... god this is so hard. Uh we got pregnant." I look to her stomach. She shakes her head no. "I lost it. It was a dumb drunk night. After that is when he convinced me we needed to just try being together. I think I felt bad about losing his baby, so I gave in. I've never actually had romantic feelings for him. I just trusted him ya know." I nod knowing immediately what she means. "So you guys were sex buddies. Like to try shit with and stuff?" She nods looking embarrassed, then looks down. She tries to move from my lap. "Car, it's fine babe." She looks back to me. "I, uh, I can't have kids Dalton." I swallow hard. I knew this would come up at some point, but I expected her to tell me she wanted kids. I had actually become ok with the idea of a little Dalton/Carmen baby running around. I smile hoping it doesn't look like it feels, faked. "Babe I don't really care one way or the other about kids." She searches my face then pushes on my chest. I hold her firmly in place. I raise my eye brow. "I can tell you want kids." She states then shakes her head back and forth. "No Carmen I never did. I had accepted the idea of it with you since..... well since you're so young, but babe it doesn't change this at all. I want you. If we can't have kids, we can't have kids. But I want you." I state firmly so she knows I mean it. She slides her hands to my face. "Really?" I nod then lean forward kissing her quickly. "What happened?" She sighs but holds my gaze. "I just can't carry a fetus that's why I lost Luke and I's baby. I will never be able to carry a baby to term. They had some fancy name or something, but that's just it." I nod then look down at her flat stomach. It will never be round with my baby. I look back to her gorgeous face. It's probably for the best. I'm not really father material anyway. I press my lips to hers. I can feel her tears running down my face as I kiss her slowly. I just wanna make it better. I want her to know this changes nothing. I move so that she's under me. She pulls the towel from my waste. I reach down moving her panties aside then slide into her. She slides her hands to my face as I kiss her slowly, moving inside her slowly. She moves with me. I keep my hands on her running them up and down her body. I wanna make it better.
"Hey dad." He smiles as we walk through the door. "Dalton. How are you guys?" I look to Carmen then back to him. "Can't complain. How are you?" We've been here for three days. We're planning on heading home tomorrow. I'm good, but Carmen needs to be back for work Monday. If we leave tomorrow, that will give her Sunday to recoup, and for me to get my shit moved into our apartment. I smile a bit thinking about the fact that I'm moving in with a woman and feel totally ok with it. "Where's Helen?" I sit on the chair next to his bed and pull Carmen to my lap. She slides her hand into my hair running her fingers through it at my nape. "She went home for a bit. She hasn't been getting enough sleep here. I made her leave." He shakes his head back and forth with a smile on his face. "She's great." Carmen tells him then looks to me with a smile. He nods looking right at her. "Honestly you have no idea." I look to him for further explanation, but he looks away sighing as he looks out the window. "So you should be heading home by the end of the week?" I ask changing the subject. He looks back to me nodding. "Yep. Then as soon as I'm allowed, Helen and I are moving to be closer to you. There is a town about 20 minutes away she found a house in that she loves. We have a realtor putting in an offer for us." I don't know why I'm surprised since he told me that was his plan, but most people never actually follow through. Well not in my experience. I look to Carmen. I guess the ones who are really worth it do. "That's awesome dad. I can't wait for you to be closer." He smiles then looks back out the window. I reach out patting his leg. "Hey everything ok?" He nods then looks to me shaking his head no. "Look Dalton. I may not have told you everything about when I left." He sighs linking his hands on his lap. I look to Carmen a bit nervous to hear what he's about to tell me. I smile trying to make him feel more comfortable, but truth is I feel like running out of here as fast as my legs can carry me. I don't want him to say anything that will make me hate him again. I need ONE decent parent in my life. I want one decent parent in my life. He clears his throat. "I was an alcoholic. I wasn't thinking right.... ever really. So when your mom threatened me, I bailed. Truthfully at first I was a bit relieved. I struggled a lot with... uh... my addiction and wanting to be a good father to you. My drinking won out. Everything else I told was true though. I sobered up a few years after I left, with Helen's help, and started looking. It was too late. She moved and changed your name. I did search. I tried Dalton I did. But like I told you she was good at throwing me off, and I did give up. I relapsed a few years ago and finally have it under control. Or so I thought. I guess I may have caused more damage than I had hoped." I let out a breath relieved that's all it is. I already forgave him for leaving, so the reason is neither here nor there. But knowing he was struggling with alcoholism does help. It also explains why I am the way I am. I look to him. "I've had my own struggles with alcohol. But this amazing woman has helped me deal with my pain instead of masking it, so......look dad I'm not angry. Thank you for telling me." He nods then looks to Carmen. "You and Helen are a lot alike. I knew that right away." She smiles at him. "I'm honored. She's an amazing woman." He searches her face then looks to me. "I know we hardly know each other, but
considering my most recent state I feel like I need to say this. Dalton don't let her go. Sometimes it's easier to push away someone who challenges and fights for us, but let me tell you what. If you hold onto her tight, you won't ever regret it. If you push her away for good, you will regret it everyday." I hold his gaze a minute. I know without him saying, he pushed Helen away at first. Like I did Carmen. I nod. "Yes sir." He sighs then leans back closing his eyes. "I hope you guys don't mind if I just rest a bit?" I pat Carmen's hip and start to stand. She moves from my lap letting me up. "We'll go grab something to eat and come back a bit later." He opens his eyes nodding then closes them again. "Love ya dad." He gets a slow smile on his face, but keeps his eyes closed. "I love you Dalton." I slide my hand into Carmen's then lead her from the room. She wraps her free hand around my bicep. "That was awesome babe." I wink down at her. "He's a lot like me." She nods then looks forward as we step up to the elevators. The doors open in front of us. I smile as Helen steps off. I release Carmen's hand to pull her into a hug. "Hey guys." She comments as she hugs me then steps back. "Is he awake?" I shake my head no as I take Carmen's hand back in mine. "He was just about to rest. That's why we're leaving." She nods then looks down the hall with a sad expression on her face. "Hey everything ok?" She looks to me smiling weakly. "Yeah I mean. No Dalton. Honestly it's not. I knew something like this would happen after all his struggles with...." She stops and widens her eyes. She doesn't know he just told me about his drinking. I reach out touching her arm. "He just told me about the drinking." She let's out a breath looking relieved that she didn't almost tell me something she shouldn't have. "I can't be without him Dalton." She tells me with tears in her eyes. "He's my life. If I lose him.... I don't....." She shrugs letting her hands slap off her thighs. I look to Carmen because I really have no clue what to say now. "Helen he's going to be fine, and I think this really opened his eyes. Plus if you move closer, you'll have us to help you keep him in line." She smiles as she looks to us. "That's true. That sounds really great actually. I don't have any family left. I'm an only child, and my parents both died a few years ago and we never...." She stops looking at me apologetically. I hold my hand up shaking my head. "It's ok." She opens her mouth looking like she wants to say something but she doesn't know what. "I've always thought of you as my son too. I just..... I don't want to make you uncomfortable." She admits hesitantly. I smile at her. "That's fine by me. It'd be nice to have a mom that wants me for a change." I joke but the truth behind my words isn't lost on me. "Well I'd be proud to call you son." I clear my throat as emotions I didn't expect rush through me. I nod then look to the side keeping my composure. "We're gonna go get some food. You want us to bring you anything?" I smile looking back to Helen. She nods. "A sandwich of some kind would be great. Thank you Dalton." I nod then look down as she walks out around us. I shake my head a bit trying to handle all this new and unusual acceptance I'm getting from my dad and Helen. It feels good, but for me it's a bit overwhelming too. "Babe? You ok?" Carmen asks turning toward me. I look to her. "Yeah let's go get some food. We can just bring it back here and eat with Helen if that's ok?" She nods then reaches out pushing the down arrow on the elevator.
"Uh man it feels good to be home." I step behind her wrapping my arms around her waist. She looks over her shoulder at me placing her hands over mine on her stomach. "I need to go to the hotel to get my stuff and tell them I'm leaving." She starts to jump up and down. "Ok let's go." I chuckle as she spins from in my arms and is out the door and down the steps before I turn to follow her. I lock and close the door behind me then make my way to her car. I'm over being scared to ride or drive a car anymore. My license is expired, but I'm going to look into getting it updated or whatever. I need to live my life happy like Gretchen's mom encouraged. I'm not honoring her by being a fucked up alcoholic. I get in and look to her gorgeous face as we back from the driveway. I get a weird feeling, but push it aside, as I slide my hand to her thigh. We get to the hotel in like 2 minutes flat. We both get out. I head toward the check out desk. "I'll go start to pack your stuff." She tells me then holds her hand out. I take the key from my pocket and walk to her. I hold the key up just out of her grasp then lean forward pressing my lips to hers. She kisses me back. I wrap my arm around her holding her to me. She grabs onto my shirt at my hips tightly. I slip my tongue into her mouth hoping I never have to know what it's like to not be able to kiss her every day. I smile then step back. She has a smile on her face as I open my eyes. "I love you." She snatches the key from my hand and takes off for the stairs. I fucking love her so much. I turn and walk to the lobby door opening it. The desk guy is sitting down reading a magazine. He looks up and smiles. "You're paid up for like two months, so what's up?" He asks and stands sitting the magazine down on the counter. "Uh I'm actually leaving. I just wanted to tell you." He gives me a funny look, then turns and disappears into a back room. He comes back with cash in his hand then holds it out to me. "Here. We charge by the week, so you get this back." I nod then walk over and take the money. "I'm getting my stuff now, so I'll drop the key before I leave." He nods then sits back down. I turn and walk out. I notice a strange car parked next to Carmen's, but blow it off. It's probably just someone else staying in this place. I walk over and jog up the steps. I hear something crash. The door to my room is hanging open. I jog the rest of the way. I step in the room and feel like I've been punched in the stomach. "Fuck. Carmen." I call out. There's blood on the floor trailing to the bathroom. The door is closed. What the fuck. "CARMEN." I call out. I hear what sounds like her trying to call out to me from inside the bathroom. I run at the door slamming into it hard. I didn't even check to see if it's locked. I know it is. I hear a man's voice whisper something harshly. I slam into the door again calling out, "I'm gonna fucking kill you if you hurt her." I can hear her crying, but it sounds muffled. I feel like I may pass out. I can't do that to her. I need to help her. This place is old. I just need to break this fucking door down. It shouldn't take much. I jog to the door then turn and run at the bathroom door with everything I have. I slam the door and feel it release. I fly into the bathroom tripping from the force of hitting the floor. I catch myself as my face barely misses the toilet. I look up to see Carmen crying hysterically as a man holds his hand over her mouth and a knife to her neck. I widen my eyes when I realize exactly who he is. I stand up trying to stay calm. I never once even considered that he may come to find me. I should have. I'm feeling all that old pain and fear rushing through me. The bad finally came. Only it's so much worse than just bad. If he hurts Carmen, I will never be able to forgive myself. "Max you need to let her go. She has nothing to do this." I sound stronger than I feel. I look into Carmen's eyes trying to calm her. She looks terrified. "FUCK YOU DALTON. You killed my sister what makes you think I'm going to let your little girlfriend here go. It's only fair. You took someone from me. I take someone from you. She widens her eyes and starts to scream into his hand. I'm back next to the car as Gretchen screams for me to save her. I shake my head. "Max PLEASE." I bark sounding more desperate this time. He gets an evil smirk on his face. "She's pretty Dalton. How'd you manage that? I may just have a little fun with her first. You wanna watch?" The anger rips through me causing me to react without thinking. I lunge for them. I feel the knife slice into my arm. I don't stop as I get my arms around Carmen pulling her from him. She screams as I spin around putting myself between her and him. The knife comes down hard into my back. "Fuck." I call out then release my arms from around her. "Run baby." I tell her as I shove her hard out the door of the bathroom. The knife comes down again this time in my side. "DALTON." She screams then tries to comes back in the bathroom. I reach out slamming the door in her face yelling, "CARMEN GO." The knife comes down again into my side. This time I make the choice to grab onto it holding it in me. I feel light headed, but somehow spin ripping it from Max's hand. I call out as pain shoots through me. I look down and pull it out of my side. "FUCK." I hold it out as Max rushes me. I jam it into his stomach hard as he
hits me forcing me to the floor. He lands on he hard forcing the handle into my ribs. "AHHHHHH." I call out in pain then roll to the side throwing him off me. He starts to laugh. I get to my feet and sway. I brace my hand on the wall to keep from falling back to the floor. Fuck. I need to get out of here before I pass out. He's just laying there laughing like a maniac, so I grab the door knob and turn it. I swig the door open and walk through into the room. Carmen's gone thank god. I swallow hard as my eyes start to go black. I need to get some help before Max decides to come after me. I make it to the door and out onto the concrete walk way. "DALTON." My heart falls. She didn't leave. What a fucking stupid woman. I stumble to the railing trying to stay on my feet. I feel her wrap her arms around me. "We need to get you to the hospital." I hear her voice and feel my feet moving, but I don't feel like I'm really here right now. I feel the cold leather seat against my back then close my eyes knowing I saved the woman I love this time.
FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IN **BLACK INK**
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FROM THE AUTHOR:
I want to take a minute to thank my co writer on this book, Jake. He is my tattoo artist and has been a friend of mine for many years. I went to see him to get some ink. He was so proud of me for following my dreams of writing, and immediately suggested writing a book about a tattoo artist. He offered to help me with some of the terms, so I didn't sound like an idiot. I used him as a reference for some of the characteristics of Dalton, but this is not a book about his life, it is a fictional story. Jake, however, named Dalton and Carmen, and helped me come up with the basic idea for the book overall. I also have to give him credit for naming this book and the second book to come. He was super supportive and helpful. Thank you Jake for all you help!!