I am not my brothers, Yun raged inwardly, wishing he could shout it at the top of his lungs. Everyone already believed he was mad, but until today, they'd have been wrong.
And he didn't dare tell anyone what he'd done. He was a man, and it was his job to shed blood in the name of war and peace. As a woman, she shouldn't need to. So he'd turned his dagger on himself because he couldn't bear to hurt her…and he refused to let anyone suggest the marriage hadn't been consummated. If their marriage dissolved, there would be nothing to stop his brothers from hurting her. As it was…it was only their love for their youngest brother that kept her safe. He prayed that would not change.
As a cold wind started to blow, Yun warmed himself by imagining what it might be like if Ava was willing. If one night he entered his bedchamber and found her with her legs and her eyes open, wearing a welcoming smile. How he would cradle her delicate, birdlike body as he made love to her, eliciting gasps of pleasure from her, not pain. Not just once, but all night, or until she lay in his arms, spent, with a smile on her lips that not even sleep could wipe away.
Bliss, surely.
But not tonight.
So Yun continued to march along the walls, staring out into the darkness for an enemy he could not see, wishing he was in his bedchamber with the lovely woman who had somehow bewitched him without one whit of magic.
Ava, the wind seemed to whisper, but Yun closed his ears to it.
Nineteen
When Ava woke in the morning, she was still alone in the bed. The same maids from yesterday ushered her to the bath house, but today none of them would meet her eyes. In fact, they seemed hesitant to touch her now.
Finally, she couldn’t bear it any longer. “What have I done wrong?” she asked. “Yesterday, you were all happy to help me bathe and dress. Today, you act as though Prince Yun’s wife is unclean.”
The maids exchanged glances for a long moment, before one of them stepped forward and spoke up.
“A thousand apologies, mistress, but the Emperor’s sons are known for their rough use of women, especially their wives. Most new brides in the palace do not wish to be touched the morning after their wedding night, and many of them have ordered us to look away instead of staring at their hurts. After so many new wives screaming at us not to be touched or stared at, we now do this as a matter of course, in order to better serve you. My deepest apologies if this offends, mistress. If you will tell me where your hurts are greatest, we have salves that may help, if you will permit us to apply them.”
Ava’s mouth dropped open. So it was true and this was a barbarian kingdom. Men who hurt their women instead of protecting them. Her father had never done such a thing to any of his wives or concubines. Oh, she’d heard that a girl’s first time could be a little painful, but no new resident to the women’s palace ever appeared to have been beaten.
“I have none,” Ava said slowly. “Prince Yun was…” Inexplicably merciful? Not attracted to her in the slightest? Unwilling to consummate the marriage while willing to go to great lengths to hide this? Ava settled for, “He was kind.”
“His Royal Highness Prince Yun is different to his brothers,” the maid who’d spoken admitted. The other girls tittered and some even blushed.
“I must dress to please him better today,” Ava said, not realising she’d spoken aloud until the maids brought her another new gown.
“Very good, mistress.”
Lagle would not want to marry the crown prince or any of his brothers if they beat women. Why, her head injury from her fall from her horse might be the least of her hurts if she did.
“Where is Lagle?” Ava asked.
“Who, mistress?”
“Lagle, the girl who arrived with me. She was thrown from her horse and hurt.”
More glances were exchanged. “Do we not serve you well enough, mistress, that you wish for your foreign maid?”
Lagle, a maid? Ava hoped no one had said that to Lagle. “I must see her, and know she is well.”
“The Emperor commanded that we must serve you, not your foreign maid, in case you mean the empire ill, but he did not say you could not see her,” the maid began. “When you are dressed, I will take you to her.”
Ava nodded her thanks and submitted meekly to the maids’ ministrations. Perhaps if she looked beautiful enough today, Prince Yun would take Ava as his wife properly tonight.
Twenty
Lagle’s chamber was as spare and small as Ava’s old one at the women’s palace. More so, perhaps, as she had no spare clothing or even any belongings to personalise the space. Ava dreaded what Lagle would say when she discovered she’d slept upon a pallet and not the golden feather bed she’d boasted about so many times in the harem.
“Has she awoken?” Ava asked, though she knew the answer before the words had left her lips. If Lagle had awoken before this, the whole palace would have heard what she thought about being made to lie on a pallet. As the girl who crouched on the floor beside Lagle shook her head, Ava said, “Very well. Have my old chamber prepared – the one where I was taken before I wed the prince – and see that she is moved there. She must be cared for as though she was the Queen herself, or…” Or Lagle would scream the very roof tiles off the place, Ava thought but didn’t say. She swallowed. “Or you will answer to me,” she finished instead.
“No, mistress, we cannot. Perhaps things are different where you are from, but here…we could never allow a girl of a lower caste taint the guest chambers of the very highest. She must stay here, as the Emperor commands.” The maid shook her head furiously. “If the Emperor should hear of it, he will take all of our heads for allowing such a thing. Even if he does not take yours, he will make the prince punish you, for it is a husband’s duty to discipline his wife. Better to let this girl die of her injuries that be injured yourself, mistress, for you surely would be. Prince Yun is as strong a warrior as any of his brothers.”
Ava wished she could trade something, anything, for the courage to say that a girl’s life was worth a little pain, but if her maids would have to die to give Lagle her golden bed, then a pallet wouldn’t hurt her. Lagle would make her wishes and her position known the moment she woke.
“She wakes, mistress,” the crouching girl said, nodding at Lagle.
Sure enough, Lagle’s eyelids fluttered again as she screwed her face up. “My head hurts,” she whimpered.
“Fetch her something for the pain,” Ava ordered. “Quickly.”
“Who are you?” Lagle asked, blinking. She gazed straight at Ava.
Before Ava could respond, one of the maids cut in, “This is your mistress, Princess Ava, wife to Prince Yun, eighth son of His Imperial Highness, the Emperor himself. Show respect!”
Lagle lowered her gaze. “I seem to have forgotten. A thousand apologies, mistress. Have I overslept?”
This didn’t sound like Lagle at all. “You took a blow to the head when your horse threw you,” Ava said slowly, her heart sinking at Lagle’s blank expression. “Don’t you remember?”
Lagle shook her head. “No, mistress. I only feel fear when you speak of horses, and a desire to avoid them as much as I can. Yet you say I climbed upon one’s back?”
Ava didn’t know what to say. Could the bump to her head have scattered Lagle’s wits and her memories, too? Bianca had told her tales of such things happening to soldiers in battle, but Ava had never imagined she’d see such a thing happen to Lagle, of all people.
“How dare you ask questions of your mistress! Show more respect!” a maid scolded.
Lagle cast her eyes down once more. “Apologies, mistress. I forgot myself.” She struggled to sit up. “Please forgive…augh!” Her voice died in an exclamation of pain and she flopped back to the pallet, lifeless, or seemingly so. She still drew breath, to Ava’s relief.
“You should not be here, Princess,” one of the maids said. “Permit me to take you to the pleasure gardens, where the other wives will be at this time of the day.”
Ava nodded. There wa
s little more she could do for Lagle until the girl woke again or regained her memory. Perhaps one of the other princesses would be willing to talk to her. It would be nice to have a friend, if such a thing were possible.
When they reached the garden, though, all thought of princesses or even people flew out of her head. Ava had never seen such a beautiful place. It was as lush as the forest she and Lagle had travelled through only yesterday, but far more beautiful. Flowers and scents assailed her on all sides, as she followed the path curving gently through what could only be paradise.
“That’s Prince Chao’s wife, Fang,” the maid said softly, inclining her head. “She has not spoken since her wedding night, a year ago. He is the second son, and it is said that if Prince Gang, the crown prince, does not beget a son on his wife, Lan, that the Emperor will declare Chao his heir instead, for Fang has borne him a boy and she is already carrying a second, or so her maids say.”
Ava tried not to stare at Princess Fang. Her silk robes draped around her in such a way that she could not tell if the woman was eight months pregnant or not carrying a child at all. Between her pale face and haunted eyes, Ava had the impression that the woman was more spirit than human. The shadows beneath the princess’s eyes looked like bruises, instead of the evidence of sleepless nights. Perhaps they were both, Ava realised with alarm as she remembered what her maids had said in the bath house that morning.
A woman swathed in red silk moved slowly past, bent over with what Ava thought was age. Ava and her entourage halted to permit the dowager to pass.
It wasn’t until the woman sank onto a bench, her attendants settling like a flock of birds around her, that Ava realised she wasn’t elderly at all – the woman couldn’t be more than twenty, if that. Her face screwed up in pain before she smoothed it into a blank look much like that of Princess Fang.
“I didn’t think Princess Lan would be able to leave her bed for three days, at least,” the maid said in a low voice.
“Is she ill?” Ava asked, taking a step toward her. If she couldn’t help Lagle, perhaps she could be of service to someone else.
“If she were, she would not be here. The crown prince often speaks of setting her aside for a more fertile wife. As if three daughters in as many years is not fertile. No, her husband punishes her soundly after the birth of each girl. Half the palace hears him shout at her for failing to give him a son. The prince announced the birth of his daughter yesterday morning, vowing to beget a son that very day. Judging by how slowly she moves today, he’s had her in his bed all day and all night, though the new babe is barely out of her belly. No wonder there was no salve left in the bath house this morning for you.”
Ava gasped. What kind of prince would beat and bed his wife repeatedly for a day and a night? A monster, not a prince at all, she resolved angrily. “The men of this kingdom sound like monsters,” Ava declared.
The maids gasped.
“Please, do not say that, mistress,” one begged.
“They are merely men,” the gossiping maid added. “They have wants and appetites that women must satisfy, without ever understanding why. All men want sons to send to war, to rule their lands and light incense in the shrines for them when they are gone. What else are women for, but to serve?”
This was not the way of things in the women’s palace back home. True, the wives and concubines who lived there served her father, but not in such a way that interfered with their own pleasures. Occasionally a girl might not go horseriding for a few days after birth or after several nights with the King, but she would always say so with a sly smile, which the other wives and concubines shared. None of this haunted, pained expression shared by the princesses in this barbarian palace.
More than ever, Ava wanted to thank Prince Yun for his kindness last night. If not for him, she might be a quivering shadow of herself like the other girls.
“Will this suit you, mistress?” a maid asked, gesturing toward an empty bench.
Ava nodded, accepting their assistance to arrange her skirts as she settled onto her seat. While her maids gossiped about the other princesses in the palace, occasionally breaking off to bring Ava refreshments, Ava’s mind wandered back to her home, and the Summer Palace where Bianca had been taken. She wondered whether anyone missed her, and what they would say if they knew what was happening here. She thought about sending the Queen a note about her daughter’s fall, but decided against it. Ava didn’t want to fall afoul of the Queen’s wrath ever again. Let Lagle write a letter to her mother when she recovered. Lagle wouldn’t allow one of these barbarians to touch her, let alone wed her, and she’d want to go home. Leaving Ava alone among them. Ava wasn’t sure whether she wanted that or not.
Now that she had flown from the harem, Ava wanted to see what this adventure had in store for her. A handsome prince for a husband might be just the start.
Twenty-One
Yun woke to birdsong. A screeching chorus that no man could withstand. He cracked open one eye and wished he hadn't, for the sunlight beat down on him mercilessly.
"I thought you would sleep all day," Mother's voice remarked.
He could not ignore the Empress.
Yun levered himself up into a sitting position, rolling his shoulders to rid them of stiffness. He should not have slept on a bench in his mother's private garden. Yet where else in the palace could he find peace?
"Did you make a poor choice of wife?" Mother asked.
Yun wanted to argue that both she and his father had pushed him into the marriage, but he knew that the decision had still been his own. He thought of the lovely Princess Ava, probably still asleep in his bed.
"No." He sighed. "She is lovely and obedient and everything I could want. A worthy wife, in all the ways I could name. I simply could not sleep, so I walked the walls for a while, and then I think I came here." He frowned. "I did not mean to fall asleep."
Mother laughed softly. "Your father came here looking for you, but I told him not to wake you. He made me promise to remind you that it is her duty to bear sons, and yours to beget them."
More fools for the court, to take after their father, Yun thought sadly but didn't say. With his seven older brothers, his sons would never be heirs to his father's throne.
"You may rest a little here, first, though," Mother continued. "I will send for some food and drink. Is there something you wish to ask me?"
For a moment, Yun considered confessing last night's subterfuge to his mother. But he banished the idea as quickly as it had come. No, he could tell no one. There were few secrets in the palace, and anything said aloud could be overheard.
He rose and headed for the cage of birds. A flurry of bright wings warned him he had come too close for the comfort of some. Did Ava long to flee from him, too?
Amid the bright parrots and orioles, there was a plain-looking bird in brown and white. "Mother, what is that bird? I don't think I've seen it before."
The Empress approached. "I thought you'd ask me questions about women, or pleasing your wife, not birds. If you mean my newest pet, she is a lark. One of your brothers brought her back for me from the Horse People's lands, thinking I might enjoy her song. But she has not sung yet." Mother stared intently at the bird. "Perhaps she is not yet comfortable in her new home. Or maybe her heart does not hold enough joy to raise her voice in song."
"It is a hard thing to abandon the life you knew, and make your home anew," Yun said slowly, thinking of Ava. Her courage was greater than even he'd known. What, and who, had she left behind?
Refreshments arrived, and he made small talk with his mother for as long as politeness required. Yet his restless mind wandered, from Ava to the birds before darting back to Ava again.
"Where is Ava, Mother?" he asked suddenly.
She laughed. "I'm surprised it's taken you so long to ask. She is in the pleasure garden, with the other princesses."
Yun's heart sank. The other princesses were his brothers' wives. If they talked to her, they were bound to tell her about
his brothers. Girls gossiped, and they would welcome another who was their equal. Even now, they could be frightening her with stories of their wedding nights, or of any night since, knowing his brothers and their tastes.
If she suspected him of being like his brothers, she would run screaming at the sight of him, he was sure of it.
Then he would be forced to give up all hope of ever having a willing wife.
No, he did not want that. He wanted her, one day, even if that day was far into the future.
One day he would hear his lovely lark sing.
Yun bade his mother farewell and headed off to find his wife.
Twenty-Two
What sounded like a smothered scream jolted Ava out of her daydream about swimming with Bianca at the Summer Palace. Ava scanned the garden, just in time to see Princess Lan fall off her chair, to the consternation of her attendants. Together, they carried her inside the palace.
Ava prepared to return to her thoughts, when another sound caught her attention – this time, a male voice.
“Have you seen her?” the man asked.
Princess Fang dropped to her knees on the grass, extending her hand in Ava’s direction.
The man turned and a grin lit his face. “There’s my little wife! My illustrious father reminded me that a marriage is not successful without sons, so it’s off to bed for you. I hope you’re well rested after last night, for there’ll be very little sleep for you tonight, either.”
Behind him, Princess Fang fainted.
Prince Yun didn’t seem to notice as he marched across the grass toward Ava, beckoning imperiously. “Come along, bed! The Emperor commands it!”
Numbly, Ava obeyed his summons, following him on leaden feet back into the cold darkness of the palace.
He led her to the bedroom they’d shared after the wedding ceremony, and waited for her to enter before closing the door firmly behind her. Then he set his back to the oak door and just grinned.
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