by Beth Massey
“Will, her view is extreme because of her own circumstances. She told me of her mother and stepmother. There are plenty of women who do not die in childbirth.”
Darcy kissed her hair and continued with his confession. “I agree, Lizzy, but I want you to understand the kind of conversations we had grown accustomed to having. You have four sisters, a mother, a father, and a very loving and understanding aunt. People in whom you can confide have always surrounded you. When my father died, I was lonely. I wanted to talk with someone in whose presence I could cry. Bingley told me, when I met him, that he never shed any tears for either of his parents; and Richard would have been appalled at my weakness. Georgiana was a child, and it was my responsibility to be strong and comfort her. Bella is where I turned.” His eyes clapped on to hers as he asked, “Have I shocked you with my confession?”
Elizabeth answered him by tightening her grip on him and whispering, “No.”
“I spent time with her after his death. Lady Sarah allowed her to fulfil my request for a fortnight of exclusivity. As I have recently learned, she had been a friend of my mother and father when they were young. I believe she could see my agony. My obligations at Pemberley were legion. When I visited Bella next, she could not wait to tell me of her love. I was shocked at her revelation, but I could see in her eyes how serious she was. The pretence that had always been there when we made love was replaced by a look of genuine affection when she spoke of Susan.”
Lizzy chuckled at the image of Bella telling him of Susan. “She described your words about me similarly. In fact, it was when she told me you described my eyes while we were making love as looking like a child viewing a flaming Christmas pudding… that image finally wiped out all thoughts that I was only tolerable, and the realization of just how very tempting you find me solidified.”
He moaned and insisted he be allowed another very passionate kiss. She indulged him for several minutes, but then disengaged and asked, “So you did not see her that often?”
“No, not in the years following my father’s death, as I rarely came to town. Pemberley took a great deal of my time and energy. It was only after Ramsgate that I felt a need to talk to her. Again, I saw her daily for nearly ten days and often spent the night. What brought me back was the need for comfort and the hope she might share a woman’s perspective on how to restore Georgiana’s confidence. Any insight she might have due to her experiences with the squire, was solicited. I believe she told you about her ruination since you talked of The Vicar of Wakefield.”
Elizabeth giggled. “Yes, I requested she tease you about our discussion without revealing the results. Was she successful? It was my idea to tell you we discussed books—and then Bella decided to add that we discussed the Bible.”
Will’s mirth at her confession was much more than a giggle. “She was successful! The only clue I had of a successful outcome was her reference to Saul’s conversion.”
Darcy enjoyed the laughter for a few seconds before he returned to his confession of sorts. “The visit after Ramsgate was a little more than a year ago; and I told her of my plans to travel to Hertfordshire. Elizabeth, she encouraged me to be open to finding love.”
“Was her advice helpful with Georgiana?”
“Yes, but it was only after Georgie met you that she accepted she was not alone in believing Wickham; and with that knowledge, she began to gain confidence. You and your sisters are what she needs. Her extreme reaction this morning to Lady Catherine’s words was due to her fear of losing all of you. Kitty was very helpful in reassuring her all would turn out right—and Jane was masterful in taking charge.”
Elizabeth prepared herself to make a confession. “Will, Lady Catherine’s words found my Achilles heel. As you know, I have struggled with my guilt about anticipating our vows. No matter how I look at the facts, I am not able to deny the truth. I initiated our love making in the cottage, and her words of luring you were the arrow that hit the mark. Your rejection at the assembly was a blow to my pride, but it also made me wary of your motives.” Her face and the tip of her tongue reflected contemplation as she spoke, “It was unfathomable to me how, despite your insult, a desire was unleashed that refused to go away. Bella’s words were the salve that healed my punctured vanity. Please forgive me for my lack of trust.”
“You are absolved, but I also must beg your forgiveness. I allowed myself to become angry and petulant this morning. My pride was also wounded—by your accusations of being less than honourable, being deceitful, and yes, even of trifling with you. I also know that there was some truth in everything you said
Darcy raised his most difficult admission. “I did trifle with you. It was my intent to dazzle you with my lovemaking before I confessed going to Mrs T’s. I also wilfully decided not to disclose my friendship with Bella. My fear of your reaction was no excuse for something less than the truth.” She was staring at him with her head tilted looking very much like an innocent Eve being given to Adam by God in Hieronymus Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights. “Your only accusation that was unfounded is that I am depraved. I am just a man who was, perhaps, a bit too eager in his anticipation of having you forever.”
The resulting kiss was long, slow and passionate. Both tasted the magic.
Strict observance of the rules of propriety dictated that they should not remain in his study behind a closed door for such a length of time. With their wedding in less than two days, the doubt and anger unleashed by Lady Catherine’s public accusations, Will’s revelation of the success of Lord Blessing’s mission to plug the leakage of her ladyship’s lies and their need to speak candidly about their past and their future meant… they were both beyond caring about their reputations. Elizabeth’s one demand with regard proper behaviour—that she was required to enforce several times during their conversation—was that they would check their passion from culminating in unlicensed acts. She had made a pact with God that she would refrain from making love until after they had said their vows.
Elizabeth and Will continued to discuss all matter of things until they were summoned to prepare for dinner. Many of their topics resulted in laughter, but others were serious issues that were dealt with appropriately. Elizabeth was pleased to find that Lord Blessing had insisted her father accompany him to the Earl of Elderton’s home.
Will explained the dying man’s reasoning, “He told Jon and I that he sees your father playing the role of patriarch for the two of us. It is his assumption that Lawrence will marry Mary and perhaps Bingley might marry Jane… your father will then have four fatherless young men to counsel.”
Will’s words caused Elizabeth to shake her head. “I hope all of you do not expect too much in the way of words of wisdom from Papa. He would be stellar as a source of quotes, but practical advice might be beyond his reach.”
“Elizabeth you are too hard on him. You have told me he is a good landlord and his tenants respect him. Where I think he has been lackadaisical in increasing his revenues, he and I have had numerous talks about his plans to continue the growth. They are solid; and each time I talk to him I detect less cynicism and more optimism. He is no longer hiding from disappointments, but instead is planning for the future. He has plans to teach all of his grandchildren to play chess.”
The conversation drifted toward their siblings. Will expressed his pleasure at gaining additional sisters and brothers. He looked forward to never being lonely again.
It reassured Elizabeth to see an excited Will—filled with plans for the future of his enlarged family. She felt the need to caution him that before long, he might be craving the peace and quiet of his current life.
Will smiled politely at her words of warning and continued on with his plans. “Have you heard Georgiana and Kitty want to take drawing lessons together from a master? I think it a marvellous plan; and I also plan to speak to your father about allowing Kitty to be presented with Georgiana next spring. My observations agree with Lord Blessing’s. I too believe Lawrence and Mary will soon become betro
thed. Jane and your uncle will certainly make a man of Bingley; and then they might wed. Richard and Lady Eleanor seem growing closer every day. That leaves only Kitty and Georgiana who are in need of our help in finding husbands.”
Elizabeth stared at him in wide-eyed wonder, “Will Darcy, you are turning into my mother. I had no idea you enjoyed matchmaking.”
“I just want everybody to be as happy as I am.”
Lizzy prepared to reveal another confession as her mother came to mind. “By the way, my mother is here. She came to give Lydia and me the mother-to-daughter-talk on the eve of our wedding. Instead of giving me advice on how to be a dutiful wife, she confessed to me that she and my father had anticipated their vows. Much like Georgiana—who needed to know others had been charmed by Wickham—I feel much calmer knowing that I am not alone in my improper behaviour. In fact, I suppose I could persuade myself that I inherited the trait of wantonness. Have you noticed my parents seem to be more loving and respectful towards each other of late?”
Will could not contain his joy and said, “I have, I have. I tell you love is in the air.”
Elizabeth smiled at his exuberance. “Do you like the chess set? I found it in a little shop around the corner.”
“It is lovely. However, my favourite part was your challenge, and the thought of extracting a reward.”
Lizzy set her eyelids at half-mast and traced her finger over her lips seductively. “Yes, I have been contemplating my strategy of how I will defeat you. If we played naked, I believe bending over and distracting you with my bottom just might be my most successful gambit.”
Just hours ago this very room had been filled with acrimony. Now it exploded with laughter, and as Mr Bennet contended, the love that shone in their eyes could very possibly illuminate the space.
22
LEGITIMATIZING LOVE AND LUST
Thursday, the twenty fourth of September, dawned sunny and clear with just a hint of the refreshing air of autumn. Elizabeth rose early on this auspicious day and decided to take a few turns around Grosvenor Square before she turned her attention to the task of dressing.
He had been unable to sleep due to excitement and spied her from his bedroom which overlooked the park. He was out of Blessing House in seconds to join her in her solitary stroll. Her arm was placed securely on his with a proprietary smile. Darcy noticed that out from many an elegant front window, eyes were watching their early morning walk. Based on the hour, he assumed most were servants. Still, he was conscious of the curiosity he and his bride-to-be garnered from the residents of Grosvenor Square.
As they walked around the perimeter several times, she said, “I believe God has forgiven us. Why else would he send us such glorious weather?”
Will was unsure whether she was serious or not. His first instinct was to make light of her observation. “Perhaps it is a trick, and God plans to lull us into a sense of complacency; and then as the moment approaches for us to say ‘I will’ his thunderbolts will come to destroy the lot of us. Remember, neither Lydia nor Jon is an innocent.” He paused for a moment in his speech to try to determine whether her words had been a tease. He was well aware she had never fully divested herself of her guilt feelings. Next, he decided to approach her statement with a bit of logic. “But think about this—God spared your parents when they wed. There are so many people in the world that have committed sins greater than ours. I am not even certain it was a sin—I had pledged my commitment. But you must tell me this—if the weather does get worse, and it looks as though a storm is brewing… please tell me, you do not have plans to bolt?”
He wished they were inside, alone, locked in his study, when he saw her tongue peek out of her mouth as she prepared her answer. When she spoke, just after she licked her lips; the words were deserving of a passionate kiss. “I have been pondering what Shakespeare was saying in the Sonnet about the meeting of true minds you quoted the other night. It seemed to me you most particularly wanted me to understand its meaning. In conclusion, I have decided to stay right here by your side, and I am going to do my very… very… very best to keep you satisfied. I am no fair-weather lover.”
He returned her look with a leer before he spoke, “Good, because I have plans to spend time in the cottage this winter with a roaring fire and snow all about. We will be able to pretend we are the only two people in the world.”
He saw the hoped for lascivious twinkle in her eyes as she and the tip of her tongue formulated another reply. “Ah, what an enticing thought. It sounds like a good time to, perhaps, challenge you to a game of ‘naked chess.’ However, I hope you did not devise this plan because you took my words in Kent… ‘That you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry’… seriously.” Her face took on a bit more thoughtful mien. “You have no need to isolate me from other men, as there is no man—or now that I have heard it to be a possibility, woman that has ever tempted me but you."
The spirit of playfulness and double entendres that had defined their interaction since their last conversation in his study continued as he laughed at her words. In that spirit he asked, “I had heard a rumour my cousin Richard once tempted you.”
Lizzy rolled her eyes at his words, and her answer, though said with mirth, was a bit more truthful than either expected. “It is true, I once had hopes he would take away the flutters and twinges I felt when I was around you… but he provoked nothing of that kind.” With a hint of coyness, she added, “I have grown fond of the new word you taught me—‘titillate.’ Colonel Fitzwilliam did not titillate, nor did Wickham.” Laughter helped her deliver her next bit of awareness. “Their inability to create those feelings in me only increased my anger toward you. When I heard the colonel tell me he could never seriously consider anyone without money, my reaction was as nonchalant as I felt when I learned Wickham had become betrothed to Miss King. Neither wounded my vanity. Only you had that honour.”
His response was not leering or teasing. Instead she saw the same intensity and desire in his eyes she had seen in the rain in Kent. “We had best stop talking about this or I may feel compelled to kiss you in front of my neighbours to make amends for my poor behaviour.”
They walked in silence one last time around the park. She thought she felt him tremble under her arm, and he kept his eyes intent upon the ground until they arrived at the gate closest to Darcy House. When he lifted his eyes, they glistened, but his smile was as incandescent as the morning sun. He lifted her gloved hand and bestowed a chaste kiss both for her and the watchers in the windows. “Only a few more hours and then our magical marriage begins.”
The wedding was, indeed, noteworthy for lovely early autumn weather; the radiance of the brides, the tallness of the grooms, the smiles of approval on most of the faces of the witnesses, and the solemnity with which the participants said their vows. Both couples—each in their own way—expressed a devotion rarely seen at fashionable London weddings.
The Earl of Blessing had sent a note round to the Morning Post and the Examiner inviting representatives to attend the wedding at Saint James and the breakfast to follow at his home on Grosvenor Square. He informed Jon and Darcy he felt the best defence against any negative rumours was to make the event accessible to both extremes of the political spectrum in daily newspapers. Jon thought his father’s strategy wise; and Darcy, who had always preferred to remain anonymous in every aspect of his life, was unsure. He shrugged his shoulders at the decision and spoke to the earl of his confidence in the knowledge that a peer of the realm would know best.
The young man, Oliver Sterling, who had been writing the almost daily notices of the anticipated event in the Morning Post was assigned the task of covering the wedding and the breakfast that followed. The brother of the Examiner’s publisher and its chief editor, Leigh Hunt, was also in attendance. His preference was to be a participant rather than a chronicler.
Mr Sterling had previously determined these were not happening for the standard reasons that prompted most marriag
es of the best upper sets. That morning as he watched the ceremony, he began to believe the looks on all four of their faces and the emotion reflected in the way their vows were spoken, that these couples were marrying for love. His thought at that moment was whether his editor would allow him to write such an observation. It definitely reduced the fashionable quality of the event, but made it more noteworthy for its audacity.
The young reporter from the Morning Post knew the Miss Bennets were the daughters of a minor country gentleman from Hertfordshire. There was a hint of some kind of scandal in the hasty arrangements of these weddings being performed under special licenses from the Archbishop of Canterbury. However, he had been unable to determine exactly what was amiss. Neither bride was known to the ton nor were either being gossiped about for anything other than their good fortune for winning two very eligible bachelors. The Earl of Blessing’s family was also slightly tarnished due to some secret involving the earl’s sister—one Lady Sarah Rowley, widow. He had thought at one point while writing the almost daily anticipatory wedding tittle-tattle that perhaps he should take a trip to Hertfordshire to see if there were any rumours circulating in that county. However, the more he heard of the two couples, the less inclined he was to hunt for salacious news. He was caught up in the quixotic nature of their attachments.
Mr Leigh Hunt attended the ceremony in Saint James Piccadilly with his wife, Marianne, and his friend Lord Byron. Lord Byron was in the process of distancing himself from his scandalous affair with Lady Caroline Lamb, and jumped at the opportunity to accompany the Hunts. He had agreed to introduce Mr Hunt to Richard Sheridan. Mr Sheridan, who had recently resigned from parliament, had ceased to be seen in public. It was rumoured his health was failing. Both men had heard the playwright was a close friend of Lord Blessing’s sister… and gossip had it he would be in attendance. As the author of a volume on theatre criticism, Leigh Hunt had met the playwright a decade earlier. He hoped to renew his acquaintance with the author of The Rivals and The School for Scandal … just in case he decided to add a second volume.