by Riley Moreno
“Oh, this store really. My dad couldn't run it on his own and I don't think he'd trust to leave it to anyone else in the family. It's just me and him, so, if I left him he'd be all alone and that wouldn't be good. Not exactly where I saw my life heading but he did so much for me when I was younger it's the least I can do really.”
“I think that's really admirable, you should be proud. Family is everything to me, and it kills me to be away from my mom. Too many people would have just been selfish and left, but you stayed, that takes courage, to sacrifice your own dreams to help someone you care about.”
Jenna had never thought about it in those terms before. She'd always seen it as something of a curse, and to hear such unrestrained words made her eyes sparkle and her heart swell.
“Why did you become a marine then, if it's so hard to leave every time?” she asked.
“I wanted my life to mean something. My dad was never around and when I finally met him he was a deadbeat, and I was glad that he hadn't stayed around. I wanted to make my mom proud and I wanted to keep people safe. A recruiter came around to my high school and a bunch of us just went to talk to him, more of a joke than anything, I mean, you know you see these things in the movies so we went to make fun of him and try to get him to bark some orders at us, you know, the typical immature things. My friends got bored but he was actually really cool and there was something about the way he spoke, he had this confidence about himself, like he knew where he belonged in the world. He had a mission and he was going to carry it out no matter what. It impressed me, and what he told me made sense. So I went home and had a read, and the more I thought about it the more I got used to the idea. People always talked about college but I was never the best at school so that wasn't an option. I've never looked back since.”
“I could never do anything like that. Loud noises scare me.”
The marine laughed loudly, and this made Jenna smile. He had a warm laugh, and when he laughed it was with his whole body. His face lit up and it was quite a sight to behold. He was getting more attractive by the second, and although Jenna's stomach was swimming with nerves for this was an unusual circumstance, there was something about him that set her at ease. Their rapport came naturally and she understood what he was saying completely.
“I know what you mean. I was always looking for the place where I belonged. I always thought it was some place away from here.”
“Maybe you spent so long looking that you failed to see it was around you. Maybe you are right where you belong. Life has a funny way of working out. Sometimes it seems like everything's against you and other times you end up bumping into someone and making a new friend,” he said, and the reference to their meeting made her flush a little, and she was glad of her dark skin, or else he would see deep crimson marks on her cheeks.
“Oh, we're friends now? And I don't even know your name,” she said teasingly as she walked behind the counter and started to ring his items up, putting them in bags.
“It's Riley,” he said, and held out his hand, “it's a pleasure to meet you.” She paused what she was doing and looked at him, then took his hand.
“And I'm Jenna,” she said, feeling the warmth of his hand against hers. Her hand was so petite compared to his and his hand engulfed her own, but it was a tender handshake, strong but gentle, just like him, she hoped.
“Yeah, I can see that,” he said, gesturing to her name tag. She felt foolish, but they shared laughter once more, and they were both smiling. When she finished packing his items he pulled out his wallet and handed her some cash. As she took it their fingers brushed against each other and Jenna felt an electric tingle pass through her body, something she had never experienced before.
“Well Riley, it was nice to meet you,” she said.
“Yeah, it was a pleasure,” he replied, picking up his bags. She waited for him to say something, for she was unsure whether this was just going to be a moment of fleeting pleasure, and as he packed her bags she started to think that perhaps he was just friendly, and she had misread some of the signals. Inside her mind was screaming at her to ask him out, but the words halted when they rose up her throat, and she found herself unable to speak, even though she knew she would curse herself if he left, for they would never see each other again. He reached the door and was about to step out. Jenna saw all the possibilities of life crash down around her as though they were meteors falling from the sky, and she hated herself for not being able to call out to him.
But then, a glimmer of hope as he turned around. Her heart began to dance in her chest as she watched him come back. He stood in front of the counter.
“Sorry Jenna, I think I forgot something,” he said, and placed his bags on the floor. She looked disappointed as he searched his pockets.
“What was it?” she said, her voice hollow. He then pulled out his cell phone.
“Your phone number.” She stared at his phone in front of her in disbelief.
“I'm sorry, that was really cheesy but I'm not good at this sort of thing. I always wanted to try something like that, I just...I'd like to see you again, maybe you can give me a tour.”
Jenna bit her lip and smiled.
“That'd be great,” she said as she tapped her number into his phone, “I'll be free from seven tonight, give me a call.” Her eyes were dancing, and so were his. He took his phone back and promised that he would call, and as he left, Jenna was suddenly feeling on top of the world. Since no-one was around she allowed herself a little dance, and clapped her hands together. Nothing like this ever happened to her, and already she was waiting for the day to end so that she could speak to him again.
“A marine?” Emily said, looking impressed. Unable to contain her excitement, Jenna had rushed out of her store and burst into Emily's telling her what had just happened, then apologizing, for Emily and Mr. Johnson had been in deep conversation. Jenna instantly realized her mistake, and tried to back out, but Mr. Johnson rose.
“I should be going anyway, it was a pleasure as always Emily, and your cakes really are divine, I think you've been blessed by the gods,” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. Just as he was leaving Jenna stopped him.
“Have you seen my dad?” she asked, wondering if Mr. Johnson had seen him before he came into Emily's shop.
“No, I thought he was just inside like always, you know what he's like, he never takes a day off,” he said, and then left. Emily wanted Jenna to tell her all about the marine but Jenna was starting to panic. Now that the initial flush of excitement had dissipated she was worrying about her father, and ran back to her store. Emily followed in hot pursuit. Jenna ran down the aisles again, calling out to him at the top of her lungs until she went to the back. Emily struggled to keep up with her. There was genuine pain in Jenna's voice and worry was etched into the lines of her face. Then, she stopped. She fell to her knees as she saw her father slumped against the wall. A tray of fruit had spilled over him and he was covered. His chest was rising faintly, but his eyes were closed. Jenna tried to wake him up but nothing happened. She turned to Emily, who crouched down beside her.
“What do I do?” she asked. Emily felt his neck and spoke in his ear. He was alive, but motionless.
“I think we'd better call an ambulance,” she said.
The paramedics came and took her father away loading him up into the ambulance. Jenna was fretful and couldn't stand still. The elation of meeting Riley had quickly vanished and been replaced with utter despair. It was a hard thing to think of her father being ill. She'd already lost one parent and didn't want to have to go through it again. Emily urged her to go to the hospital but Jenna kept saying that she had to look after the shop, after all, it was the one thing that her father cared most about in the world and she couldn't shut it early. But Emily insisted, and led Jenna to the car. Mr. Johnson came out as well and helped them both, saying that he'd lock up the stores later. Jenna was on the verge of tears, and every breath had to be choked out. The world was crumbling around her and t
here seemed to be no way to stop it.
Emily drove her to the hospital, and Jenna had flashbacks to when she was taken to see her mother. Unlike her father's collapse, her mother's death had been a slow and arduous process. The cancer had been aggressive and all Jenna remembered was seeing her mother getting weaker and weaker every time she visited. The hospital always had the stench of death around it, and there were only bad memories associated with it. She could barely carry herself forward through the hospital, and it was only thanks to Emily's presence that she was able to find out where her father had been taken.
They had to go to another floor where they waited in a small room. After a time a doctor came out and greeted them. She looked tired and stressed, and her hands gripped a clipboard tightly, but she spoke with calm words and gave her time to Jenna and Emily.
“I'm afraid your father has been suffering from exhaustion. He collapsed and blacked out, so we're stabilizing him now. This sort of thing is more common than you'd realize. Does he work a lot?”
“Yeah he...he owns a store, he's always there,” Jenna said.
“Mm, well, he's going to have to take it easier from now on. He can't take on more than his body can take. We're going to prescribe him some drugs and we're going to keep him in to observe him. The exhaustion brought on a mild stroke, which does sound serious and it's something you're going to have to keep an eye on, but he should pull through it fine.”
“Oh God...”Jenna said, and fell against Emily for support. Emily asked the doctor a few more questions for Jenna's sake, and then the two of them were able to go in and see Jenna's father.
“He looks so peaceful,” Jenna said as she gazed upon her father who was lying in bed in a hospital gown. The machine beeped and whirred beside his bed while tubes were stuck in his hands. Jenna was shaking, and Emily held her tightly.
“Are you okay?” she said.
Jenna shook her head, and the tears began to flow steadily. She coughed and spluttered.
“It reminds me when I saw my mom,” she said, and then buried her head in Emily's shoulder. They sat there for hours. Sometimes they spoke, other times they just watched her father. People walked around them. There were others in the room. Some were awake and they had visitors. There was a shared pity between the patients in the hospital but also some envy as well. Jenna was unhappy that other people could talk with the ones they were visiting, while all she could do was sit helplessly by her father's side. Time passed. Nurses came in to change beds and give food. Emily left Jenna to get them some water, but all the while they waited for her father to wake up. And then, as the early evening approached, he finally cracked open his eyes and spoke Jenna's name in a croaking whisper.
Jenna leaped forward to his side, and Emily slowly faded into the background, wanting to give the two some privacy.
“Dad...what happened, oh my God I'm so glad you're okay, you had me so worried.”
“I...” he said. It was a struggle for him to talk. He was so weak and every syllable took a tremendous effort. Jenna leaned more closely so she could hear his frail whispers, and he told her how he had been in the back sorting out a food delivery when he'd seen something that had reminded him greatly of his wife, and the shock of seeing that, coupled with his exhausted body, had caused emotional trauma to surge through his body.
“It brought everything back, and it just reminded me of how much I lost. All she wanted...all we ever wanted was to run the store together and grow old I just...it's hard without her,” he said, and crystal tears rolled down his cheeks. Jenna hadn't seen her father cry in a long time. She clasped his hands and kissed them.
“Dad, I know it's hard without her but we've got each other. She wouldn't want you to be like this, you can't work yourself so hard, you need to have a life as well.”
“But I've failed you too,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
“What do you mean?”
“You should have been gone by now. You had your own life to live but you had to stay with me because I made you...I'm so sorry. I hate seeing you so sad every day. I wish that I could have been a better father to you.”
“Oh, dad, please, don't ever say that. I wouldn't want to be anywhere other than with you. I love you, you're the only family I have in this world. Don't blame yourself for what happened. I was the one who chose to stay, you didn't force me at all.”
“You only stayed to take care of me, because I wasn't strong enough to live. I'm never going to be able to forgive myself,” he said, and with that his eyes closed and he slipped off into sleep again. Jenna pressed her forehead against his hand and she sobbed a little. Emily stepped up and placed a reassuring hand on Jenna's shoulder. Jenna took a deep breath and leaned back, and the nurse soon came over to tell them that visiting hours were almost over. Just as they were walking out Jenna's phone rang. She saw Riley's name pop up on the screen, although she was so emotionally drained she didn't have the feeling of elation she imagined she would have. For a moment she considered not answering, but before she could make a conscious decision she had already brought the phone up to her ear and could hear his voice.
“Hey! I know I'm a little earlier than seven but I couldn't wait to talk to you, are you free tonight, maybe we could grab a drink or something if you know of any good bars around here?”
Was it seven already? Jenna could barely believe it.
“Um, look Riley, I'm sorry, I'm at the hospital at the moment and-”
“What? Are you okay? What happened?”
“Yeah, I'm fine, it's just my father, he's being kept in overnight.”
“Oh Jenna I'm so sorry, I totally understand if you don't want to meet tonight but I'm here if you need me.”
She was surprised at the concern in his voice. After all, to him her father was a stranger, and she had only had one conversation with him so it wasn't like the two of them had a deep bond, and yet he seemed to care about her a great deal. As she thought about going back to her empty house, she found herself dreading it, and although she wasn't in the right frame of mind to have a first date she didn't want to be on her own. She'd already taken up enough of Emily's time too, and there had certainly been something about Riley that had set her at ease.
“You know what, I could use a break, do you know where the hospital is? Can you come and pick me up? I don't know about bars but there are a few parks we could go to,” she said. They arranged their plans and then she turned to Emily.
“Well, it looks like I've got a date tonight,” she said.
“Are you sure you're in the right frame of mind?” Emily asked, concerned.
“You know,” Jenna said, drawing in breath, “this doesn't happen to me often. My father's in hospital. I can't face going back home alone. I think this is the perfect night where I could use some excitement,” she said. They walked out to the front of the hospital and waited for Riley, who turned up swiftly. When he arrived Emily wished her well and left the two of them together. Riley was now wearing a jumper that looked warm, and somehow he seemed even more handsome than when she had seen him earlier. They hugged as they greeted each other and Riley ushered her into the car. Jenna quickly directed him to the park and they made their way, talking about things as they went.
“I don't know if you want to talk about what happened or not, but it seems trivial to talk about anything else so I'm going to ask you now if you want to talk about it, and if not then we can carry on as normal.”
It was only a short drive until they got to the park. The day had been dark but during the dusky evening the mist seemed to lift, and the moon shone in the sky, illuminating the park in a silvery light. It was a large green area with a play area, and it was towards this that they made their way. Jenna and Riley sat on the swings as she talked about what had happened.
“It's just like...we've been distant for so long and I don't know how to repair the bridge between us,” she said.
“Maybe this will give you a chance to reconnect.”
“All I know is
that I definitely can't leave now.”
“Were you thinking of leaving?”
“I always am,” she said, gazing into the distance, “I keep thinking that one day I'm going to get out of here and see the world, but it never seems to happen.”
“And what's so special about what's out there?” he asked.
“I don't know, just new things, exciting things, adventures, things I've never seen before,” she said, pushing herself back and forwards with her feet. Riley rose from his swing and walked behind her, placing his strong hands against her back as he started to push her. Feeling his touch sent a thrill up her spine and a smile came across her face. He pushed her gently, but enough to send her up into the air.
“You know, I've been to a few different places and there's never been anywhere like home, and I don't mean the place I was born but the place where my mom is. I'll always want to go back there, to her. Being away is...it's fine, but there's nothing like coming back to her, because she's the reason why I am who I am today. I don't think I could ever leave her permanently. Maybe that makes me a momma's boy I don't know, but that's the way I feel about it. Whenever I leave, I'm always looking forward to when I can return. You're kinda lucky you know, that you have a job you know you can do for life. You're pretty sorted.”