by Riley Moreno
“We had plans you know,” she continued, her lower lip trembling, “we were going to do so much when he came home. What am I going to do now?”
“You're going to be okay,” he said, with such certainty in his voice that Melissa almost believed him. “You're going to mourn for him, and you're going to remember him, but you're going to live your life as well because you deserve to be happy, even if you can't see it. I know it, and wherever he is, Steven knows it too. So here's to my brother,” he said, and raised a glass. She raised hers too and they took a sip of their drinks.
Mark stayed with her a little while but eventually he had to go. They hugged tightly.
“Thank you for being there for me,” she said.
“You got it, and if you need me at all just call me and I'll come, don't worry about the time of day,” he said. Melissa nodded and then watched him return to his car, which promptly pulled away and sped off back to his mansion upstate. As she returned to her empty apartment she smiled to herself as she thought about the differences between the two brothers. Mark had been adopted, but even though wasn't biologically related to his parents he had immediately fit into the family, enjoying the same intellectual pursuits as his new parents. He channeled his intelligence into a business degree and had quickly risen through the business world, having made some shrewd investments, and now he was sitting on a personal fortune that Melissa found boggling to think about.
Steven had always been more of an athlete. From what she knew, he'd been the star at high school, but once that ended he realized that life was going to be a lot harder. With no direction he ended up working as a delivery driver. It hadn't mattered to Melissa what he did but he always said that he wanted to do something meaningful with his life, and it always annoyed him that Mark was so important while he was wasting his life. Melissa had tried to tell him many times that as long as he was happy it didn't matter what he did, and all they needed was each other, but that was never good enough for him. She cursed that attitude now, for although she admired his honor and his ambition, it had ultimately cost him his life. In a way she almost felt responsible; if she had raised more concerns would he have refused to join the army? Knowing Steven, probably not.
The day stretched out before her and it was never-ending. She'd been given some time off work but she wished that she could go in because she was at a loose end. Steven had often been away from months at a time as he did his tours, so an empty apartment wasn't anything new, but this time it seemed different. Everywhere she looked all she saw was emptiness, and there was nothing that could distract her. She had no appetite, and nothing on the television was able to occupy her mind. Time seemed to stand still, and all she did was descend into bouts of crying. Eventually the moon took over the throne of the sky, and Melissa dragged herself to bed. She was emotionally exhausted from the day, but when she pulled the sheets over her she felt a wave of nausea swell in her gut, and beat the pillows in frustration. His side of the bed was cold and empty, as it would be forever more, and her life had been irrevocably changed by one single moment in a country thousands of miles away.
“I brought ice cream,” Mark said as Melissa opened the door.
“I'm so sorry for this,” she said, welcoming him in.
“Don't worry about it. I told you, whenever you need me I'll be here.”
“But don't you have about ten businesses to run?”
“They pretty much run themselves by now. You're my priority at the moment Melissa, come on, I'll get some bowls.”
They sat at the kitchen table and ate ice cream. Mark had chocolate while Melissa had plain vanilla. She was one of those people that wasn't too adventurous when it came to food.
“Have you ever had anyone close to you die, apart from Steven?” she asked. Mark pressed his lips together.
“Not like this. But when I turned eighteen they asked me if I wanted to find out about my real parents. I guess that's usually when adopted kids find out they've been adopted but they couldn't exactly keep that a secret from me. Anyway, I didn't know if I wanted to know. I mean, I had a family and my parents were just strangers who hadn't wanted me in their lives for whatever reason. But Dad sat me down and told me that it was important to be forgiving in life, and that like it or not these people were a part of who I was. He didn't know anything about them either, but eventually I decided to go down to the adoption agency and ask to meet them. Turns out that they had both died, separately. And that was it...I couldn't mourn them because I never knew them, but it was the fact that I'd never get the chance to know them that got me more than anything.”
“I just don't know if the way I'm feeling is the way I'm supposed to feel.”
“I don't think there are rules for this sort of thing, you just have to muddle through it as much as you can.”
“It's just stupid. All he had to do was not go into that building.”
“But you know Steven. He's not going to give up when there's a chance.”
Melissa cocked an eyebrow at that, for it summed Steven up nicely.
“It was a shame your parents couldn't make it in today.”
“You know them, always busy with their research. I did try to get in touch with them but it's practically impossible to get anything through to them, even for me.”
“What on earth possessed them to spend their whole lives in some research facility under the sea anyway?”
“Who knows. They always said one day they wanted to get away from it all but even I think this is a bit extreme. Last I heard, they still had three months left under there.”
“I can't imagine living in some facility under the sea. It must get so annoying not being able to do something simple like going for a walk.”
“Have to go for a swim I guess.”
They both laughed a little, but it was an awkward laugh because it still seemed wrong to have positive emotions on such a sad day.
“Mark,” Melissa asked, sweeping her spoon around the ice cream, which had quickly melted into a thick liquid, “what's your favorite memory of Steven?”
Mark blew out his cheeks and leaned back in his chair. “You like asking the hard questions don't you? Um, I don't know,” he said, searching his mind for the perfect memory, until it finally hit him. He slapped his hand on the surface of the table, making the dishes and Melissa jump, and leaned forward, “I've got it, it was just after I was adopted. I still felt strange about being in a new home, especially because of the obvious differences between us,” he said, gesturing to his skin color, “and I wasn't sure how well I'd fit in. Back then I was still young and didn't know who I was anyway, so it was a very difficult time, and when I started at school I felt a little lost. I mean, I saw Steven with all his friends and how popular he was, and then there was me with no-one, but Steven included me. He could have easily shunned me and just left me to do my own thing but he actually took me with him and introduced me as his new brother. And when kids started picking on me he was the one who came up and made sure that they didn't say anything else. Mom and Dad were great at making me feel at home, but when Steven did that sort of thing, that's when I felt like I was truly a part of a family.”
Melissa was touched by the story for it was one she had never heard before.
“He always said that he was glad you were his brother, and that you were more like his best friend as well. I have to admit I was a little surprised when I met you and he introduced you as his brother but you were always so close. But can I tell you something honestly, without you thinking I'm a bitch?”
“Um, okay,” Mark said, feeling a little uneasy.
“One of the reasons why I'm having such a hard time dealing with today is because I want to miss him and I wanted to think of the best of him, but the truth is he wasn't perfect. When I heard about how honorable he is and how much he devoted himself to his duty I felt like correcting them. And I know it's a stupid thing, like, why would I even want to tarnish the memory people have of him? But I hate the fact that he was so lo
yal to his country when to me...” she trailed off.
“What are you talking about? What did he do?”
“It was a while ago now, I shouldn't even mention it I don't know why I am, but I just feel like I wanted to remember him for the real person he was, not just the generic hero his soldier friends want to paint him as, but he cheated on me.”
“What?!”
“It was a stupid thing, we were having some problems and he went out and got drunk. I forgave him for it a long time ago, but he's not perfect. I want to remember his mistakes as well as all the good things. He could be stubborn and he had a temper, and sometimes he just did things that I'll never understand. It doesn't mean I don't love him, does it?”
“Honey, I don't think there's any doubt that you loved him. I understand how hard this is for you. There were times when he annoyed me as well. I can't believe he cheated on you though, he was devoted to you. There was nothing he loved more. The only reason he went into the army in the first place was because he thought it would make him worthy of you.”
“I'd much rather he'd have stayed here,” she said, and the conversation stopped flowing once again. The rest of the night was spent like this. Bursts of conversation were followed by long, lingering silences, but Melissa and Mark had known each other for long enough that the silences were not awkward. It was hard to find things to talk about. Talking about Steven only made it more painful to face the future, but to talk about anything else made it seem like they were ignoring Steven and the hole that had been left in their lives. The hours dwindled and Melissa found herself yawning. The strain of the day was finally taking its toll for her eyes were growing heavy and she felt the pull of slumber. Mark carried her to her room and tucked her into bed. The last thing she remembered was him telling her that he'd check in on her the next day, and then she was asleep.
When she awoke the next morning she felt the warm rays of the sun shooting in through a crack in the curtains. They kissed her body as she stretched out, for a moment forgetting the tragedy that had struck her. When she reached over and felt the empty space beside her it all came crashing out though, and she awoke with a start. She lay motionless in bed and started at the ceiling. This was going to be the first day that Steven really wasn't with her. Now that the funeral had happened, there was nothing else to do except live, but that was proving to be difficult. Melissa felt the absence terribly and found herself thinking of Steven. The days that followed were filled with tears. She tried to go out, even if it was just to the store to pick up a few things, but it just reminded her of everything that she wouldn't be able to do with Steven. And when she saw young children or couples she thought about the life the two of them had planned together. It would never see fruition now, cut down before it ever had a chance to begin.
The worst was when she started to go through Steven's things. She intended to give most of them to goodwill, since she figured that's what he would have wanted, but as she went through his drawers she found a small box with a ring. When she placed it on her finger it was a perfect fit, and knew that instead of wearing black she should have been wearing white.
Mark continued to call and check up on her but Melissa wanted to distance herself from him for she didn't think it fair that she was such a drain on his time. He had his own life to live, and she couldn't rely on him. She had to find her own way through the misery. As a couple of weeks passed she went back to work, and although it was difficult at first she soon got back in the routine of it, although people were still sympathetic to her. She worked at a restaurant as a waitress so it meant that she was speaking with customers, and since there were a number of regulars that came in her business, she was well-known to all of them. She remarked on this when she spoke to Mark on the phone.
“There's this look they get, you can see it on their face, they tilt their head to the side and have this weird half-smile. It's starting to get creepy.”
“I've had to deal with the same thing, so many people keep asking me if I'm alright.”
“Oh yeah, I'm sure all your model girlfriends are really the sympathetic type.”
“You'd be surprised! But actually I'm not seeing anyone at the moment.”
“That's something new, what's wrong with you? Has Casanova finally gotten bored of the chase?”
“I'm just taking a break, trying something new. I thought maybe I'd look for something a little more serious, see what happens. But I don't know, I'm not sure I'm in the mood for anything right now anyway.”
“Tell me about it,” Mark said, “I'm actually getting a little tired. It seems like I only seem to meet the same kinds of people whenever I go out. You might not realize this but I was actually jealous of what you and Steven had. To find that one person who makes you crazy, and to share your life with them. I was always envious of the two of you. I was in a whole different world. It's hard to find genuine people when everyone knows I'm a billionaire.”
“You have more to offer than your money,” Melissa said.
“But most people don't care about that. It's easy to meet new people and have some fun but to actually find that one person who is more special than anyone else? Even with all my money that's an impossible task, so right now I'm taking a break. Maybe something different will happen. I was actually thinking about trying some new things, do you want to take a cooking class with me?”
“I can already cook.”
“So you'll be a star, come on, it'll be a laugh, and it'll get you out of the house.”
“Fine, I guess it wouldn't hurt to learn some new recipes,” she said, and made arrangements to meet him there the following night. As her break was over she went back into the front of the restaurant. It was a large room and in the evening they always dimmed the lights and lit candles to try and provide a soft, sophisticated atmosphere. There were only a handful of people in the restaurant, all of whom she knew.
“Don't you just love nights like this? I could be home right now painting my nails,” Jess said, rolling her eyes. Jess was the one person who hadn't been treating Melissa any differently since she had returned, and although Jess could be blunt and too forthright at times, Melissa appreciated her friendship. They talked a little bit while their shifts wound down, and when it was finally over Melissa began the journey home again. The restaurant was just a short walk away from her apartment, and there were many times when she and Steven had walked back there together. Even now when she was walking alone it seemed that someone was there beside her.
Then she heard a noise. She turned around and gasped. The night was dark. Streetlights lit up the sidewalk in spotlights, but in between there was only a black darkness, which she peered into. She gulped and continued walking, suddenly very conscious of her echoing footsteps. In the background she heard the smooth roar of a car as it sped along the road. The office buildings and other bars seemed quiet, and everything was deserted. Her eyes glanced furtively around her area but she could see nothing, and tried to pass it off as a small animal. Sometimes foxes came around to rummage through the bins and find scraps of food. But even so Melissa increased her pace to get back to the safety of her home. Without Steven to protect her she felt vulnerable. It had been a long time since she had been alone, and even when she had been out with the girls without Steven it had been a help to be able to tell guys that her boyfriend was in the army, and she knew that Steven wasn't going to let anything happen to her. But now her guardian angel had died, and the world seemed a much scarier place.
Her hair raised on the back of her neck and she had the feeling that someone was watching her, yet whenever she turned around she could see nothing but shadows. She tried to tell herself that it was simply her mind playing tricks on her. She'd been through a lot, and there was nothing to be afraid of, yet there was a feeling in her gut that someone was out there, watching her, stalking her, waiting for the moment when they would strike and she could do nothing except let destiny run its course. She swallowed hard and covertly reached into her bag, cycling thro
ugh her contacts until she reached Mark's number, ready to dial him in case anyone should approach.
It was only a few more minutes until she reached her apartment. Once she was inside she could lock the doors and draw the curtains and shut the outside world away, making it disappear, but even then she was still without the man she loved and how was she ever going to feel safe again when she knew that all it would take was one moment to take a life? Melissa fixed her gaze straight ahead and didn't dare look at anything else, yet she heard another noise and twisted her neck. Then a lorry whizzed by, the juggernaut filled her field of vision, but the wide beams of the headlights lit up a figure. It remained motionless for a fleeting moment and all she could see was a silhouette, then it disappeared. Melissa screamed and ran to her apartment, gasping for breath as she shut the door behind her. She quickly drew the curtains, the image of that person playing on her mind, and whenever she closed her eyes she saw him in the headlights, a black void staring at her.