“So what do you do outside of work?”
My eyes narrow under my slightly buzzed haze. He’s trying to figure out what I like so that maybe we’ll have something in common and maybe I’ll want to go out with him and we could do that fun thing we have in common together.
No.
“Not much. This job takes up all my time.”
Depressingly true.
“Why do you work so much?”
I give him a sharp look, trying to gauge if he’s being sarcastic. His face is smoothed over. Maybe he really doesn’t have a clue.
“My dad is too old to deal with all this shit, so I fill in for him every day.”
He rests his drink on his knee, tracing the rim of the glass with a finger. It stops. “That’s it? You’re just helping your old man?”
“Yeah.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
He gives me a look. “I just figured you owed Jack, or something. I didn’t realize—”
“I’m not doing this for myself. I’m doing it for my father, who could not handle the things you do. I can barely handle it.”
My heart thumps resolutely against my chest, and I swipe the glass from the table to take another huge gulp.
“Then what do you want to do?”
“I want to go to college.” It bursts out of my mouth as if I’ve been waiting for someone to ask me that. “I want to make something of myself, maybe medical school, but that’ll never happen at this rate.”
The couch squeaks as Tommy leans in, and this time his whole hand grabs my shoulder and his chest moves in until his face is centimeters from mine. I’m suddenly aware that the room is almost empty, and most people are mingling outside.
His breath billows over my lips. The drink makes my thoughts descend into a haze of desire. When was the last time I felt like this around someone? The alcohol strips away all pretenses, and I can’t help but sit here and hope that he doesn’t turn my face toward him. I can’t look at him because I’m afraid that I’ll kiss him.
“I could handle it for you, you know. Just say the word, and you could do all of those things. You would never have to visit the club again.”
A shaky laugh leaves my lips. “Yeah, and I’m sure you’d do it out of the kindness of your heart.”
He smiles darkly. “Well, I would need some kind of compensation.”
I stare at the wall across the room, determined not to look at him again. He’s way too close. The last person leaves the room and all I can hear are my heartbeats.
Jesus Christ, someone help me.
“Like what?”
The sound of a glass being placed on a coffee table makes me jump, but he pulls me in closer. Closer and closer, until his lips are tickling my ear. I just let him. It feels incredible. The thrill builds up and builds up, until I’m on the verge of doing something incredibly stupid. What’s wrong with me?
His voice hisses in my ear and the effect it has on my body is alarming. A hot line burns all the way from my neck to the wetness gathering between my legs.
“I’d skim off the top, of course. It’s only fair, considering the work I’d be doing.” Then his voice dips lower with a small chuckle and he reaches over, brushing the hair from my shoulder. His hand palms my cheek. “And I’d also need something else.”
Oh God. Oh my fucking God.
I’m still staring straight ahead. “What—what else?”
He applies a bit of pressure to turn my head, and I can’t fight it anymore. It’s inevitable. The moment I took that drink in my hands and decided to stay, I was done for. There’s a moment where I can almost taste his breath, and then his lips crush against mine. I’ve lost my ability to breathe because the pleasure filling my chest is so unexpected and warm. I lean into his body, which is saturated with an intoxicating smell. It’s like cigars, cedar, and something wholly male that makes my mouth water. Then his hands, oh God, they yank me onto his lap and I still can’t breathe. His lips swallow every breath. It’s as if he’s waited for this for weeks, and now that he has me, he’s never letting go. His tongue suddenly pushes through my mouth, and I’m so lost in the sensation that I don’t notice that my arms wrap around his head. My fingers dig into his hair and I pull his neck down toward me. Electrical shocks continue to shoot through my spine, singeing every nerve near the skin’s surface. Rough hands reach up to my head, fingernails grazing my skin. They curl into my hair and yank, making me bend over his arm. Our lips break apart and I gasp at the sudden, sharp pain, but then his hand grabs my chest, squeezing my breast.
Jesus Christ. I’ve never been groped like that without warning. They would always ask first, which somehow always made it feel less thrilling. I open my mouth in a gasp and he looks down at me with a confident smirk, his eyes hot for me. Still smiling, he kisses me again, his thumb circling my nipple. Even through the tank top and bra, it feels incredible.
My back sinks into the cushions and I feel a growing sense of horror and excitement as he rips off his jacket, hurling it down the couch. Then there’s a noise at the door and I freeze. Tommy makes a violent movement and grabs something metallic at his ankle. He aims it at the door, at the person standing in the doorway.
“I’ll shoot you in five seconds if you don’t get the fuck out.”
“Jesus Christ, Tommy!”
My heart beats in my throat as I watch him lower the gun. The door slams shut, and he replaces it in his ankle. The desire still hums in my body, but now there’s fear, too. He turns toward me, smiling, and leans down, but I hold his shoulders back.
“What’s wrong?”
His smile twitches.
“I don’t know. It’s just—I’m too—”
Overwhelmed.
A frustrated sigh leaves his mouth, and I look down, noticing his erection straining his pants. The sight of it makes my heart slam into my chest.
“You make me so fucking crazy.”
I sit up on the couch next to him, and he tries to draw me in again for another kiss, but I stop him by placing both hands on his chest.
His brows furrow.
“I’ve got to go.” I stand up from the couch, face flushing.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He yells as he stands up. “You kissed me back!”
“I—I know.” I swallow the guilt down as I look at his angry, frustrated face. He glowers at me and underneath that hard exterior; I think I see a bit of hurt feelings. My stomach caves in and I suddenly take a few steps toward him. I lift myself on my toes and my lips bump against his smooth cheek. He grabs my elbow when I turn away, and his eyes open again with a smoldering look, making me hot all over.
“Stay.”
“I can’t.”
I pull my arm out of his grasp, and I leave the office, trying to forget about the sad image of Tommy standing there alone.
TOMMY
You know that feeling you got when you were a kid, when a toy you really wanted for a long time finally goes on sale, or you save enough money and you hold it in your hands for the first time? Imagine that feeling ripped to shreds. Maybe the toy is a piece of shit. Maybe it breaks on the first try.
That’s what I’m going through right now.
I had her. I almost fucking had her. She was in my arms, for Christ’s sake. My fingers dug in her hair, and I tasted her sweet lips. I was savoring the moment, and then that prick opened the door and ruined everything. A man like me might not deserve a girl like her, but I had her in my arms. I wasn’t going to let go for anything, but she got spooked and left me with this raging hard-on that won’t go down. I’ll be lucky if I ever get her alone now.
Why the fuck did he walk in on us? The rest of the guys knew how badly I wanted her. My fists clench at my sides, and I wait until my erection is a distant memory before I burst out of the office. I weave around the lockers and reenter the quiet, dark club.
A smattering of laughter draws my attention to the bar. Vince, Joe, and a few others are having drinks. Luckily for me,
Jack already left. My eyes hot, I search for that douchebag among the guys crowded around the bar who keep gulping down shots.
There he is.
That asshole with the military-cut hair hangs over the bar, his mouth open in laughter. Just the sound is enough to send heat toward my fists. It’s as if he’s laughing at me.
I know he probably isn’t, but I’ve always had a short fuse when it comes to these things. If I feel slighted or insulted in the least, I go berserk. Melanie is the one exception. She hurls insults at me, and I don’t feel like shooting somebody.
Maybe because I’m amused that a pint-sized girl would threaten to kick my ass if I ever talked to her again.
In any case, walking in on me when I’m with a girl feels like either the mistake of a dim-witted asshole, or a calculated, vengeful move to piss me off. My mind focuses on the latter, heat building up in my face as I think about him smirking right before he opened the door.
Vince smiles at me, raising a glass as I walk past him, but I ignore the gesture. The asshole who walked in the room is just an associate. Associates don’t have the same protection as a made member, so I’m free to beat the shit out of him. The pressure builds behind my face as I walk closer, and he doesn’t even see me when I walk behind him. I grab his thin neck and yank him off the barstool as a chorus of excited yells and laughs explode around me.
“What the fuck—argh!”
He stumbles backward and whirls around.
“You fucking stupid moron! I’ve been trying to bang that broad for weeks!”
Vince’s, “Oh fuck,” is clearly audible over the noise, and I glare at him, warning him not to interrupt.
“I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t know you what you was doin’.”
Laughter erupts around me, but it grates on my nerves. “What the fuck did you think we were doing? Playing cards?”
Vince suddenly appears behind the dumbass’ back, grinning. He lifts his hand as if I’m some kind of wild animal, and he’s trying to calm me down. “Tommy, relax.”
“I don’t know, maybe you were talking!”
“Talking,” I repeat in a deadly voice as the rest of the guys scream with laughter.
His face twists in anger. “It’s my fault you couldn’t get laid?”
Choruses of, “Oh!” and scandalized yells ring around me in an ugly cacophony.
The kid’s mouth lifts in a smile, and suddenly I don’t see him anymore. I just hear the laughter sinking down inside me, like fuel to my rage. I want to shoot my gun into every open laughing mouth. Dimly I feel Vince’s heavy arm over my shoulder as he laughs in my ear.
“You’re going to let him get away with that?” he says incredulously as everyone roars with laughter. He lifts his head at the kid. “Good for you, kid. Don’t take shit from nobody.”
He laughs and shakes my shoulders again. From the crowd, Joe gives me a look of disbelief, surprised by my lack of reaction. The kid stares at me right in the eyes. And he laughs.
My fist smashes right into his open mouth, the jagged edges of his teeth sinking into my hand. His head rips to the side and teeth fly out of his mouth. I shove his back against the wall, and his head cracks the plaster. With my left hand, I keep his body pinned. The other smashes in his face over and over again, the dull thuds making slapping, meaty sounds. The guys grab my shoulders and try to pull me off him.
“Get the fuck off me!”
The bastard falls limply to the floor, and only then do I realize that his nose is shattered. I bend down, wrestling off the guys trying to drag me away. I get in two more shots, his face whipping to the side with the dull thuds. Bright-red blood covers my hand like a glove. His face is like a shattered red egg. Suddenly the sounds return to my ears and I hear how deep I’m breathing and a voice screams directly into my ear.
“What the fuck is the matter with you? Are you fucking stupid or what?”
Someone, Vince, gives me a rough shove to my chest. The guy moans on the floor, surrounded by guys slowly picking him up.
“I’ll fucking kill you!” I lunge toward him again, and Vince yanks my arms back.
“Will you stop it?”
“He insulted me.”
Vince is beside himself with rage. His nostrils flare as he screams in my face. “He was breaking your balls!”
My chest heaves and my bloody fist trembles from the adrenaline. The other men back away from me, refusing to make eye contact with me.
“He was being a jerk, and I put him in his fucking place. I’ve been working for Jack for a long time, Vince.” Then I raise my voice so that the others can hear me. “I will not tolerate disrespect from anyone. I don’t care who you are. I don’t care about the rules.”
He raises a finger at me. “Watch it, Tommy. I know Jack likes you, but—”
“I’ll never be made,” I spit, hating him for reminding me of that. “I know.”
I want to bash in his pretty face until he looks like shit, too. Fuck them.
“I make more money than all of you assholes combined. If Jack ever bends the rules, he’ll do it for me.”
It’s like uttering blasphemy in a church. I expect a lightning bolt to strike me down at any moment. Vince approaches me, looking apprehensive. The warm weight of his arm across my shoulders used to make me feel like I belonged. How many times did Jack do the same thing as I was growing up? And yet no matter how many times I went to his house for Christmas, no matter how much money I made that bastard, I would never become a full member. All because of my Irish heritage. It’s something I can’t control, which makes it even more infuriating. I didn’t choose my parents. Then the resentment burns my throat and lips, made even worse by guilt.
“Tommy, what’s the matter with you?” he says, this time without hostility. “You know how important you are to us, right?”
“Not important enough.”
“There are rules we must follow. You’ve known about this for a long time, and you shouldn’t take it out on that kid.”
Fine, I’ll admit that.
I look at the little jerk-off hunched over the bar and a humorless smile hitches on my face. “He ruined my chance with her.”
His side shakes with laughter. “Jesus. I don’t know what you see in that girl. Seriously.”
“I don’t know, she’s fucking beautiful—”
“Yeah, but she’s rude as hell.”
“I just want to fuck her.”
His deep, booming laughs echo in the club and he pounds my back. “There are other easier broads out there!”
I step outside Vince’s arm. “I don’t want easy. I want her.”
“All right, fine. Let’s go out for a drink, then.”
I’m not really in the mood. “It’s six a.m., Vince.”
“Breakfast, then.”
Vince is one of my oldest friends. I was one of his groomsmen at his wedding. Fucking guy. Never thought he’d get married. Anyway, I helped cover up the made guys he whacked for his girlfriend at the time, and for that reason he trusts me. He owes me.
Right now I can’t figure out whether he’s genuinely trying to be my friend or whether he just wants me and my money on Jack’s side.
He smiles darkly, the shadows around his face making him look like a demon. “C’mon, Tommy.”
“All right.”
My shoulder stings when he slaps me, hard. Then he leaps back toward the others—Joe, Nicky, Paulie, and we all head out of the club.
Fuck, it’s still dark outside. The days just keep getting shorter and shorter, but the skyscrapers are lightening into a dull gray. The sun is coming up.
We walk down the streets of Midtown in a haze of tiredness, the cacophony of construction and car honking hellish to my pounding head. There’s a nice café that’s busy with people, even at this hour, and we sit down inside. Everyone looks a little disheveled in their suits, but happy.
My eyes immediately latch on to the cute waitress, who gives Vince and Joe wide smiles that they return.
A chorus of, “Yes, please,” resounds over the table. She beams at Vince, who beckons her closer with his fingers to ask her a question about the menu. Then she turns her cute little ass around and marches off to get our coffee.
“I don’t get this shit. You two assholes get more broads hitting on you now than before you were married.”
Vince holds up the hand with his ring, grinning. “It’s a pussy magnet. They don’t give a fuck that I’m married. Ade would freak out if she knew the crazy shit women tell me to try to get me to fuck them.” He shakes his head.
I look at both of them, smirking. “Are you telling me that you don’t take advantage of that?”
Joe shakes his head, and to my surprise, so does Vincent.
“Nah. My wife wants a kid, so my cock is working overtime.”
My eyebrows lift in surprise. “Holy shit.”
The man who swore up and down for years he’d never get married is trying for a kid. Honestly I don’t know how I feel about getting married. I always knew I’d have to at some point to keep up appearances and to shut my mother up about it. Kids, though? God no.
I’m a hedonist and I don’t deny myself anything. Having commitments gets in the way of being able to do whatever the fuck I please. You can’t really be free when you have a wife and kids.
“Thanks, hon,” he says to the waitress, who pours him coffee. “That’s what you need, Tommy. You need a woman who keeps you satisfied.”
I lean back into the chair and roll my eyes at his grin. “Now you sound like my mother.”
“Like it or not, one day you’ll have to settle down.”
A grin stretches my face. “I do settle down. I settle down every night with a new woman.”
The waitress flinches as she pours my coffee, and the guys erupt into laughter. As I sip the coffee, my thoughts pull irresistibly to Melanie. I think about her generous tits sitting in my hands, her dark hair tickling my bare skin as she leans in to kiss me. I wanted to see her naked, what the curves shown off in those skintight jeans she always wore looked like. I wanted her to drop between my knees and take my cock in her mouth, to see that strong, proud woman give me head. Fuck. How hot would that be?
His Witness Page 5