by Leslie Chase
He winced as he said it. Mars was his home now, but not hers. At least not yet, not until she accepted that she was his mate and that they belonged together.
If Ashley noticed that slip, though, she didn't show it. Holding on for dear life, her body shaking, she whispered something that he could barely hear as she pressed her face to his body.
I don't understand. Why does that make her cry? He didn't know, but he was certain that she wouldn't explain. Frowning, he held her tight. Whatever mystery she hid, he would protect her from her fears and prove himself to her.
15
Ashley
Mars shrank behind the ship and the odd vibration of the tugs' thrusters shook the Grace of Herendar under Ashley's feet. She could hardly believe that she was here, headed for deep space when she could have had solid ground under her feet.
Kosar's presence was a painful reassurance. If only he hadn't insisted on being here, everything would be so much easier. On the other hand, she wasn't sure that she'd have been able to face the launch without his rock-solid reassurance. It was a contradiction that she couldn't face head-on, and she wasn't sure how she was going to cope.
Their flight path took them close to the shared construction station beside Phobos, one of Mars' two small moons. Dragons and humans working together to build the first shared ship, a mix of elegant dragon crystal and pragmatic human metals, the giant ship that would explore the stars. Ashley watched it go past, staring in sick wonder.
The thing was huge, on a scale that the hologram in the research center hadn't conveyed. Strangely beautiful, too — Ashley was used to seeing old tech, and seeing something so genuinely new was a marvel. Nothing had ever looked like that before.
And the construction was counting on her to help work out how the stardrive worked. The same stardrive that she was going to steal.
Suddenly feeling sick, she pulled away from Kosar's comforting embrace and backed off. I don't deserve that comfort, she told herself, turning her back on him to flee back to the engine room.
Somehow, the sensation of flight was worse when she couldn't look out of a window. As bad as that had been, now she didn't know how high up she was. Stupid. What difference does it make? I'm high enough that the fall will kill me, it can't get any worse than that.
Gritting her teeth, she set to work. The monitors showed her all the ship's systems, those that still worked anyway. There weren't many of them, but the artificial gravity and the airmaker were both fascinating mysteries, almost as interesting as the hyperdrive itself. She could focus on those until they were safely away from the planet, and it would give her something to think about aside from falling.
Or Kosar.
That turned out to be harder than she'd expected. The memory of his reassuring hug, the solidity of him, his sheer sexy manly presence was overwhelming. He'd helped her hold together during the launch when she might have fallen apart. He was there for her like no one else had ever been.
And now I'm going to steal a precious treasure from him. Great going, Ashley, you meet the man of your dreams and then steal his ship.
Her guilt felt like a lump of lead in her chest. Taking out her photo of Michael, she stared at it for a moment, trying to draw strength from it. Her brother's smiling face looked back at her, eyes shining with hope despite everything. What would he think of what I'm doing?
With a frustrated snarl, Ashley put the picture away. She knew what he'd say, and it wouldn't be kind. Tough. You can be angry at me all you like, little brother, as long as you're alive.
Her phone vibrated with an alarm, interrupting her thoughts. Time to check in with Mr. Johnson and reassure him that everything was going according to plan. Carefully checking that she'd closed and sealed the door, Ashley reassured herself that Kosar wasn't around to overhear her side of the conversation. Even then, she didn't feel safe. Checking the camera displays she found him still on the bridge, watching out of the window.
Just like the engine room, the bridge had a monitoring station set up, able to view the cameras all over the ship. Out of some misplaced sense of safety the engineers had installed it as far away from the stardrive as possible. Ashley found that amusing — it was hard to imagine the experiment going wrong in a way that destroyed the engine room but left any part of the ship intact.
Still, it did no harm to have it there. And Kosar wasn't spying on her through it, which was the important thing to check right now. Instead he stared out into space, and for once she could see the weight of the responsibilities he felt pressing on him. He looked vulnerable and alone, and Ashley wanted more than anything to go to him and hold him.
I can't, she told herself, shutting off the feed. It felt wrong to spy on Kosar like that, and the least she could do for him was give him his privacy.
Keying in the code, she activated her quantum communicator.
"I'm here," she said.
"You're late," Mr. Johnson said. There was a tension in his voice that hadn't been there before. Perhaps it was the stress of having to risk some assets other than her? If so, Ashley didn't have much sympathy for the man.
"I wanted to be sure we weren't overheard," she said. "I'm not alone on this ship, you know."
"Ah yes, the irritating dragon is still there, isn't he? Well, don't worry. He won't give us any trouble even if he works out what's happening."
Ashley shuddered at that. The man's anger towards Kosar was clear, and she just hoped that he wouldn't get a chance to act on it.
"He won't find out," she promised. "Everything will go smoothly, don't worry."
"I'm not worried, my dear. I know that you understand what's on the line, and I know that you'll make it work out. I'm sure I can rely on you just like Michael can."
You just had to twist the knife, didn't you? Ashley took a moment to calm herself before replying. Nothing good would come of him hearing how angry he made her.
"Do you have the flight plan worked out?" she asked when she was sure her voice would be calm. That was the tricky part of the plan, and one they couldn't prepare for in advance. Her employer's corporate contacts could tell him where spaceships were going to be, and more importantly, where they weren't. That was going to be important.
"Businesslike and professional, I like that," he answered smugly. "It's all ready to go, you just have to wait a few hours before you can make the burn."
She pulled out her notepad and took down the numbers he read out, fingers shaking. They represented a course that would take the Grace of Herendar out on a trip where no one else could intercept her easily. Mr. Johnson's ships were already moving into position to catch them, and everyone else would be left behind.
This had better work like it's supposed to.
"Okay, got it," she said after reading the string of numbers back to double-check them. "I'll go get set up."
"Good luck," Mr. Johnson said. For once he sounded sincere, but then he would, wouldn't he? This was his chance to make a fortune, and it depended on her success now. "When this is over, I look forward to meeting you and shaking your hand."
Fat chance. When this is over I want nothing more to do with you. Ashley bit her tongue to keep from saying that out loud. Antagonizing him was still a bad idea, no matter how angry, afraid, or upset she was.
The odd hum in her jawbone quieted, and she was alone in her head. Looking at the notes she shivered, knowing what she had to do.
Kosar had the controls for the tugs, and he hadn't shared them. They shouldn't even need them; their course had been calculated and laid in already. He only had them in case of an emergency where they needed to take charge of the ship. Ashley had — she checked the clock against her notes — two hours and thirty-three minutes to figure out how to use the spy software on her phone to hack into his system and change course.
Fortunately, the computers weren't very secure. There wasn't any need for them to be since they couldn't be accessed from outside the Grace of Herendar. While Kosar's own computer was dragon technology and migh
t as well have been magic as far as her hacking tools were concerned, it had to communicate with the tugs' autopilots, and they were normal Earth computers.
Half an hour later Ashley had the new course locked into their simple brains, waiting for the right moment to take over. Her heart pounded as she checked and double-checked the calculations before locking the systems to prevent anyone from overriding them. If she got this wrong, there'd be no fixing it.
Biting her lip, her finger hovered over the 'execute' button. Closing her eyes, she pictured Michael. Not as he'd been when she last saw him, but healthy and vibrant, playing with the other kids in the ruins. That was what she was fighting for, and why she had to do this. Her finger stabbed down and the course was locked in.
No going back now.
Easy, she told herself, trying to hold back tears.
Two hours later, the ship lurched under them violently. Alarms screamed, loudly announcing the change of course and rapid acceleration. Ashley stumbled out of her bunk and along the hall to the bridge as the Grace of Herendar's artificial gravity caught up with the unexpected maneuver.
Kosar stood over the controls, typing quickly but futilely. There was nothing he could do, nothing anyone could do, to change their course now. Ashley felt torn as she saw his frustration. On the one hand, she couldn't afford for him to succeed. On the other, it was painful to watch him fight a losing battle.
"What in the Thousand Suns is going on?" he snarled at the controls, slamming his hands down on them in frustration. For the first time Kosar seemed able to ignore Ashley's presence, his entire focus on the screen in front of him and his desperate attempts to retake control of the vessel.
Five minutes passed before he gave up. Five minutes of increased acceleration out away from the Sun, into the darkness between planets. The decking shook under them as the tugs pulled harder and harder, their engines burning hot and pulling them away from Mars and any ships that might rescue them.
"It's no good," Kosar growled. "Whatever's happened to the controls, I'm locked out."
Ashley swallowed, not sure if she was relieved or disappointed by that. Of course, she wanted, needed, the plan to succeed — but the desperation on Kosar's face as he looked at her hurt. He wanted so badly to keep her safe, and he couldn't.
And it was her fault.
"It doesn't matter," she told him. "By now we're off course enough that we won't be able to get to where we're planning. We have to abandon ship."
He looked at her, eyes going wide. Fingers flexing as though to grab and tear, he shook his head. "We can't. Not while the stardrive's aboard. I have a duty to keep it safe."
Crap.
"It'll be fine. Just fine. We're headed out into the black, no ships this way. The Consortium can send a salvage ship, and no one will catch up before they can."
That was a lie, of course. She knew that someone was already waiting ahead of them. But she had to talk Kosar into getting them off the ship. If he was still here when Mr. Johnson's men boarded, Ashley didn't have any illusions that they'd let him go.
Kosar looked at her, and she tried to look frightened. It wasn't hard. "Kosar, I can't stay here. You have to get me back to Mars. Please."
It almost worked, she thought. Almost. Then he shook his head. "I can't abandon the ship, Ashley. No matter how frightened you are, you're safer aboard than you would be if I tried to carry you back to Mars."
"Please!" Losing all grip on her dignity, Ashley grabbed hold of his hands and looked up into his eyes. The panic was real, though not for the reasons she'd tell him.
"No." His answer was warm, sad, but final. "As little as I want to frighten you, I can't put you in danger just because you'll feel safer. You are my mate, and even if it makes you hate me, I will keep you safe."
His hands squeezed hers as she sobbed. "Don't be afraid, little one. I am here with you, and the foodmakers and airmakers will keep us alive until the rescue ships reach us or I override the damned autopilot. But if I try to fly you back to Mars from here, there are hundreds of things that could go wrong."
He didn't mention them, but he didn't have to. Ashley's frightened imagination could supply a horror show of bad options and she shuddered. Her suit only held enough air for half a day, and suffocating in space... no. Just no.
Maybe I didn't think this bit of the plan through as well as I should have, she thought, starting to hyperventilate. It had seemed easy, Kosar had promised to keep her safe, but the idea that she'd be safer aboard a ship hurtling into the darkness than she would be abandoning ship simply hadn't occurred to her.
"You have to. I trust you," she tried again. "I trust you to keep me safe, just shift and carry me back to Mars. I'll be safe on dragonback, won't I?"
The pained look on his face told her that something was badly wrong before he spoke.
"I can't," Kosar said, and she could see how much it cost him to say that. "Ashley, my wings are injured. I wouldn't make it back to Mars."
16
Kosar
The admission cost him dearly. It was a weakness that he could barely admit even to himself, but it was true. The pain in his wings was only getting worse and flying for hours would be agony. Landing safely at the far end of that flight? Impossible. At best he'd make it to Mars and crash, killing them both. More likely he'd lose strength half way and they'd end up drifting, lost in the darkness of space.
The horror in Ashley's eyes took him by surprise, though. He knew that she'd be disappointed, and that he was letting her down. But this wasn't the look of a frightened woman who needed his help.
She looked like she was frightened for his safety more than her own. Perhaps the talk of his injury worried her, but it seemed more than that. She was near panic, and he didn't understand that. Perhaps it's her fear of flying? But why would she rather be flying on dragonback than safely in a ship? He growled at himself. Sometimes fears didn't make sense, but something didn't add up here.
This wasn't the time to worry about the details, though. His mate was on the verge of panic and he needed to reassure her.
"I'm sorry, my love," he told her, dropping to one knee in front of her. That put his face level with hers, and he looked at her steadily. "I can't fly us home, even if I thought that was a good idea. But it isn't! The Consortium will send rescue ships, and they already know we're off course. It may take them hours or even days to catch up, yes, but we're not in any danger as long as we stay put."
"Yes, we are!" Ashley burst out, tears welling in her beautiful eyes. Kosar frowned, squeezing her hands and trying to understand. Being afraid of flying was one thing, but this was different. There was something specific that bothered her.
"Ashley. What are you afraid of? What has you so scared of staying here?"
Her whole body tensed and for a moment he thought that she would pull away, run off, hide from him. But then she took a deep breath and nodded. The fierce determination he saw in her eyes overwhelmed her fear.
"Kosar," she said, pulling one hand from his and stroking his cheek. "Kosar, you have to leave. Fly out and meet the rescue ships or something. It must be possible. It doesn't matter if I can come or not, but there has to be something that you can do."
"Why? Why would I ever leave you behind?" Something was badly wrong, he could feel it. The niggling little details that had been creeping up on him for weeks were screaming for his attention now, and Kosar was certain that whatever she had to say he wouldn't like it.
Ashley was sure of that, too. He could see it in her eyes, in her posture. Whatever she'd been hiding from him, she dreaded him finding out. But still she managed to speak, swallowing her fear. Despite the situation, he felt a surge of admiration for her as she forced herself to keep going.
"Leave me because I don't deserve to come with you," she said, voice faint and quiet. "This is all my fault. You're in danger because of me."
"It's an engineering error," he replied, squeezing her hand in his. "And we're perfectly safe here, our supplies will las
t far longer than it will take for us to be rescued. Besides, I insisted on coming on this trip. Even if I were in danger, it wouldn't be your fault."
"You don't understand, Kosar. This isn't an error, a mistake. This is me. I programmed the tugs to take us on this course, I locked you out of the autopilots. I set this up, and if you stay here then I can't keep you safe!"
The pain in her voice stopped that from being even remotely funny. Kosar stared at her, trying to make sense of what his mate was saying. At first it seemed impossible. Incomprehensible.
She couldn't be responsible for their predicament. It simply didn't make any sense.
But her certainty bled through her words, and he couldn't doubt that she believed it. The dragon in him knew his mate was telling the truth. Kosar felt his muscles tense and struggled to control himself before he crushed her hand.
"What have you done?" he demanded.
"I'm sorry," Ashley said, making no attempt to pull back from his fury. He wasn't sure if that was because she trusted him not to hurt her, or because she thought she deserved whatever he'd do to her.
"You're the one who stole the data," Kosar realized. He put the pieces together out loud. "You had as much access as Cooper did, and you were alone in the room with the computer. I even walked you out of the building without going through the security checkpoint. Why?"
He was shaking at the betrayal, part of him unable to believe it. How could his mate of all people do this to him? But to his surprise, his dragon's rage wasn't aroused. Deep down he knew that Ashley must have had a reason for what she'd done. He didn't understand yet, that was all.
"They've got my brother," she said at last. It came out in a quick whisper, a secret that she'd been keeping in too long. "He needs the medical treatment they can get him, and if I don't go along with them he'll die."
Ah. Now Kosar felt the fury he'd expected, but it wasn't directed at her. The fire that blazed in his heart would consume whoever had put his mate in this position, whoever had done this to her and her family. For now, though, vengeance had to wait. There were more important things to attend to.