That’s where my mind is now. Swimming in the deepest and darkest places that project those fears and unspoken horrors that I’m battling into the real world. Not that it has to try that hard. There is more than enough evil now to make one think they were tossed into purgatory and left for all eternity to suffer endlessly.
I close my eyes for a moment, and try to erase the torment that will not release me. I fight through the images of all those I have lost to find a glimpse of Cindy’s sweet smiling, and yet annoying, face.
I focus on that. On her voice. I long to feel something that is not sadness or utter doom. I need to feel love if I have any hope of emerging from this blackness consuming me.
My thoughts battle through the demons that plague me to that happy place where Cindy is at. She’s in her room on her floor with her dolls surrounding her. She’s playing with them, setting up a tea party, then stomping through the middle of them as if she is Godzilla.
Crazy girl.
Much like me, she has an insane imagination and wicked creativity. Makes me think she just enjoys bugging me. Not because she can’t entertain herself, but because she finds it amusing to get a rise out of me. I didn’t realize at the time, but I miss those days now.
I manage to hold the dreadful thoughts at bay as I relive moments that Cindy and I shared. It brings a moment of solace to me that almost causes me to smile.
Lost in my own thoughts, I disconnect from the world for a little bit as the repetitive scenery flashes by. I get so lost in myself, that I don’t realize it when we come to a complete stop.
Lucas snaps his fingers, then waves his hand in front of my face to snare my attention. “James, you home?”
I curb the past memory, and cut my eyes over to him. “Yeah. Sorry.”
“We’re here,” Lucas says.
Cassie leans against the center console. Duke sits next to the door on the driver’s side. I imagine he wants to stretch his legs and probably relieve himself. To be honest, I kind of want to do the same thing.
“The station doesn’t seem to have any power. The pumps aren’t going to work, are they?” she inquires.
Lucas shakes his head. “I’m not even going to bother with the pumps. Most have backup generators that would turn on in the event of a power outage. Given how much time has passed since things have declined, I doubt their generator has any fuel left to power the pumps. That is, if they even have one.” Lucas cuts his gaze out of the window to the pump right next to us. “If they did have some sort of power, there would be some indication letting us know that they did.”
“How do you plan on getting the fuel, then?” I ask. “Seems like a waste of time to stop here if the pumps aren’t operational.”
“We could locate the covers that cover the tanks full of gas underground, which should be off to the side of the pumps close by. Pry one of them up and try to figure out if it is diesel or not, and haul it up. The hardest part would be figuring out what kind of gas it is.” Lucas then points to the large RV’s that are parked close by. “An easier approach would be to check out the vehicles around us. Certain models run off of diesel.”
“I say we check the vehicles. Seems to be the quickest and easiest approach,” Cassie suggests.
I nod.
“Agreed.”
Lucas points towards the rear of the Humvee. “I’m going to take the gas cans and syphon off any fuel I can from any rigs that have the right kind of fuel. Hopefully, there will be more than not that haven’t already been bled dry.”
I reach for the door handle. “Sounds good. Let’s go and get this over with.”
“Hold on there, James.” Lucas holds his hand out and grabs my arm. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for everyone to get out.”
I look down at his fingers that are wrapped around my wrist, then up to his face. “I’m not looking for permission. We’ve been in this vehicle most of the night. We need to stretch our legs, and I imagine Duke needs to relieve himself.”
Lucas peers over to Cassie who agrees with a nod. It’s not that we particularly want to get out for the heck of it. Some fresh air might do us some good.
He stares at Cassie, then me for a few seconds as he remains silent. His approval really isn’t needed. It’s not like I plan on wandering about just for kicks.
Finally, he nods. “All right. Just stay close to the Humvee, and watch each other’s backs.” Lucas goes to open his door.
I hand him the flashlight. “Here. Take this.”
He refuses with his hand in the air, halting me. “You keep it. I found another one in the rear earlier.” Lucas reaches down below the seat and retrieves a large black flashlight that looks like a club. “Stay close and keep quiet. We don’t know if any chasers are lurking nearby.”
“There always seems to be some of those creatures nearby.” I grab my machete as we all disembark the Humvee. Duke gets out of Cassie’s side. With paws to solid ground, he stretches his front legs, and then his back ones.
Lucas moves to the rear of the vehicle and retrieves two of the large gas cans. He’s got a hose that is bound up and clutched between his fingers as he makes his way toward us. “Remember, stay close by and keep an eye out for any chasers. I shouldn’t be too long.”
Cassie points to the containers. “Need me to come with you to keep an eye out and help carry those?”
“Thanks, but I’d rather you three stick together. I’m not going too far away.” Lucas adjusts his grip on the outer handles of the gas cans. He darts off across the parking lot in the direction of the parked RV’s. He hunches over as his head swivels from left to right.
Standing near the Humvee, Duke groans and spins around in place. That’s just one of the many ways he tells me he needs to go to the bathroom, and possibly burn off some pent-up energy. He prefers to do his business in the grass. He’s one of those dogs that likes to turn his rear end toward the waste and kick grass up on it.
I motion with my hands for him to calm down. A stray finger presses firmly to my lips as I shush him silently. He can get quite vocal when he’s excited and has been cooped up for long periods.
I move to the rear of the armored vehicle, and take in the grounds of the gas station. The flashlight scans from right to left, skimming over the sparse parking lot of vehicles that remain stationary and void of any bodies. Off to our right, in the direction of the interstate, is a set of trees and bushes. It’s as good of a place as any.
“Come on, boy.” I pat my leg softly which brings Duke’s head springing up from the ground. He rushes to my side in a frenzied hurry. Cassie walks next to me to my left as we all stroll over to the small patch of earth.
She folds her arms over her chest and shivers. Her lips tremble in the early morning cold. She’s already wearing a coat, but it doesn’t seem to be helping much.
“Would you like my coat as well?”
Her teeth chatter as she cuts her eyes to me. “Won’t you be cold. It’s awfully chilly out here.” Her arms tighten down further over her chest to try and keep the cold at bay.
I shrug, then shake my head. “I’m actually pretty warm right now, so I’ll be fine.” I stop and place the machete between my legs. I start to unzip my coat, but she places her hand on mine.
“Thanks, James, but I’ll be fine. Don’t need you getting sick on account of being a gentleman.” She offers a warm smile through the chilly night air.
I smile back. “It’s no problem. Let me know if you change your mind.”
The zipper gets pulled back up some, leaving a gap to allow some air to circulate within the confines of the dense fabric. I grab the handle of the machete, and we get back on the move. Normally, I’m a pretty cold person, but for some reason right now, it actually feels good. It could be because of everything that is happening and my mood swings that have me raging one minute and calm the next.
Duke moves within the cluster of bushes and grass sprouting up through the woodchips. I can see the vague outline of his furry spine as he search
es for the perfect place to handle his business.
We stop and let him do his dog business without us bothering him. We turn toward the storefront and just stare. I view the sign to our left, Creekside Restaurant, and my stomach growls. Man, I’m hungry.
“If you could have anything to eat right now, what would it be?” I ask.
The mere mention of food causes Cassie to moan subtly. Her lips pucker up briefly. “You just had to bring up the F word, didn’t you? Thanks for that.” She nudges my arm playfully as a snicker escapes her soft pink lips.
I nudge her back. “Come on. If you could have anything in the world to eat, what would be your go to? A pizza with everything? A massive hamburger with the works and a side of hot crispy French fries?”
“To be honest, I wouldn’t care. As long as it was hot and fulfilling, I’d be good to go. I’m not overly picky.” Her hand springs up with her finger pointing in the air. She turns to me and says, “I would love a Thomas Kemper Root Beer, though. Ice cold.”
Those drinks are amazing for sure. “Yes! Would have to have one of those.”
Duke leaps from the bushes and trots over to us. He sniffs the ground around our feet. I rub his head and pick out the leaves and other objects that are stuck in his coat. I look back over to the ominous storefront.
“How about we check it out really quick and see if maybe we can find something to drink or eat?”
Cassie squints at the grim structure that is cast in darkness. “I’m not overly sure I want to venture inside. Our luck has been crap lately. Besides, I doubt they have anything substantial that is even edible now.”
I shine the flashlight in the direction of the windows.
“True, but I bet you could probably find something that would satisfy any hunger you may have. Hell, if I can find a pack of M&M’s, I’ll just pretend it’s a steak or that hamburger.”
Cassie stares at me. “Really? Does that kind of stuff actually work?”
“Not sure, but I’m willing to try. I really want a steak now, so who knows. They may even have some Thomas Kemper Root Beer in there too.”
A low blow, I know, but I really want to go inside and see what they have. I am beyond hungry for something hearty. I’m afraid that if I don’t feed the beast soon, it’ll start cannibalizing me from the inside out.
“You know if Lucas finds out that we went in there, he’s going to lose it. I don’t think he wants us just wandering about out here. He didn’t seem too keen on us wanting to stretch our legs and letting Duke do his business.”
I shrug. “Let him. He’s not our parental guardian. To be honest, I don’t think that’s even a thing anymore, is it?”
“Not sure. Fine. Let’s go,” she says. “A steak or something more fulfilling does sound good.”
I think it’s more of her stomach making the decision than her, but I’ll take it.
With Duke by our sides, we head for the restaurant section of the travel center. I keep the flashlight up, and sweep it from left to right. The darkness that lingers on the other side of the windows draws an eerie sensation from the depths of my stomach. The hunger I’m battling compels me to continue on, despite any reservations that I may have. I rationalize the move, convincing myself that no place is ever going to be super safe or secure. Risk is a way of life now. If we have any hopes of surviving, we’re going to have to do things like this—regardless if we want to or not.
I stow any verbal reservations I may have. We’re all hungry, and need to eat. We pass by a SUV that has its driver’s side door ajar. There are no interior lights on. I imagine they burned out long ago. I pause briefly, and shine the light inside.
The seat and dash are splattered in dried blood. It trails out of the vehicle and pools on the ground just outside its steel frame. A shoe imprint is embedded within the red substance on the pavement near the SUV. The sight gives me pause.
We’re close to the entrance of the restaurant, just shy of the curb. I shake my head, trying to rid the image from my mind. I turn, and look toward the building and the surrounding area in search of any chasers that could be lurking within the darkness. I’m not sure I want to venture any farther, but the hunger inside my stomach is persistent.
Cassie grabs my arm suddenly. My body tightens, and I flinch in response. I bring the light to her face, and find her staring dead ahead at the windows.
“What’s wrong?” I inquire.
“I thought I saw someone or something moving around inside the building,” she responds with a nervous voice. She reaches behind her back and retrieves the pistol that is secured inside her pants. She thumbs the hammer back and wraps her fingers around the grip.
My gaze diverts from her to the dimly lit interior of the building. Although dark, one can barely make out the shapes of the booths back rests and the tops of chairs from the light given off from the half moon overhead. I start to bring the flashlight up to shine into the structure.
“James, don’t! I’m telling you, I think there’s someone inside. I saw a shadowy figure over that way.” Cassie removes her right hand from the pistol and points inside the windows to the right of the entrance.
“It could’ve been the light from the flashlight creating shadows from objects inside. That, or it could be your mind playing tricks on you. After all, we haven’t exactly been getting a whole lot of sleep here lately.”
Cassie narrows her eyes at me. Probably not the best choice of words to use. “I know you’re hungry, James. So am I. But I’m telling you, I, for sure, spotted someone inside that building.”
A subtle growl emerges from Duke’s snout as he stares in the direction of the restaurant. Regardless of how starved my body feels, it will have to wait to be fed.
“Come on. Let’s get back to the Humvee. Hopefully, Lucas won’t be too much longer.”
We slowly back up, and turn toward the pumps.
Lucas suddenly appears before us. “Get in the car. We’re leaving now.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lucas places his finger against his lips, indicating for us to remain silent. He looks past us in the direction of the restaurant. His hand rests on my shoulder as his eyes shift from side to side.
“Is it chasers?” Cassie’s voice has a slight twinge of fear in it.
“I can’t say for sure, but I think it may be people. Non-infected.”
I look back over my shoulder at the restaurant. “How many?”
“Don’t know. Spotted two for sure milling around the back of the building before they went inside. I don’t think they noticed me, though.”
“And you’re sure they weren’t chasers?” Cassie probes once more. “If they’re regular people, perhaps we can reach out to them for any supplies that we’re lacking.”
“No.” Both Lucas and myself sternly respond at the same time. We stare at her with conviction engulfing our eyes.
Lucas clarifies. “They had weapons in their hands, so I think that’s a good indicator that they’re not infected. Not completely sure, but it looked like rifles. It was hard to tell for sure since it’s dark.”
Cassie looks confused. “The world is being overrun by those things. I would imagine anyone that we come across is going to be armed.”
“Let’s just get back in the Humvee where it’s safe. I don’t like being exposed like this,” Lucas says before I can get a word out.
With the gas containers clutched in both hands, Lucas spins on his heels and makes a beeline for the Humvee. We follow suit. He secures the gas in the rear as we load back up in the vehicle. He slams the rear hatch shut and scampers around to the driver’s side door. Swinging the door open, Lucas jumps up into the driver’s seat, and quietly brings his door to.
Still confused by the decision, Cassie looks at both of us with a dumbfounded expression. Her eyes narrow as she shakes her head. She digs deeper into our abrupt reaction. “What is it with you two?”
“To put it plainly, people can be just as bad as the chasers,” I say. “Especially the longe
r this whole mess goes on. Unless there is no other alternative, I’d rather not approach any other groups. I’ve had my fair share of run-ins with horrible people and would like to keep my distance.”
Lucas agrees with a nod of his head. “The longer this event plays out and the scarcer supplies become, the more often even the nicest of people will become deadlier than even the chasers. Like James said, unless we’re absolutely caught in a pinch, we need to play it smart and keep our distance. It’s better to err on the side of caution than not.”
Cassie sighs and shakes her head. “All right. I don’t agree, but I’m outvoted. I’d imagine there are still good people out here.”
“I imagine that as well,” Lucas responds. “But our survival depends on us being smart, not emotional.”
“How much gas did you get?” I inquire.
Lucas shakes his head. “None. I was having to check if the RV’s were gas or diesel. When I finally found one that was diesel, I noticed those guys and rushed back over here when the coast was clear.”
Great. I toss my hands in the air and sigh. “So, what now?”
“We’re on the outskirts heading into town. I imagine they have at least one more gas station further in,” Lucas responds calmly.
“And if they don’t?”
“Then we’ll make do. We’ll figure it out one way or another.”
A muffled blast rings out. I twist in my seat and look to the restaurant. “Was that a gunshot?”
Lucas cranes his neck to peer around me. Flashlights come to life through the blinds. The beams sweep about before focusing out the window and in our direction.
“Oh no,” Cassie mutters.
“And that is why we avoid other people as well. Most seem to be dicks now,” I state.
“Maybe they came across a chaser?” Cassie says.
“True. And maybe they just snuffed some poor sap just because they could,” I fire back. “I’m inclined to think the later.”
“You would.”
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