“Try and stay calm.”
“How can I stay calm when there’s a poisonous spider down my bloody neck?”
“Judging by the state you’re in thinking about it – you’ll faint.” He laughed. “By the time you recover, the spider will have run out.”
“Have any spiders ever fallen down your back?”
“Last year when I was shifting sacks of wheat, a red back ran up my arm.”
“Oh, my God. What did you do?”
“Flicked it off. Come on, Sis, how many people do you know who’ve been bitten by a spider or a snake?”
“None, but I’ve lived in a city all my life.”
“Don’t fret too much. Children and animals are the most vulnerable. A few years ago one of our dogs got bitten by a brown snake. But she tried to kill it. We were on the verandah having tea and we heard her barking. We called her off, but it was too late.”
“Did she die?”
“Yes.”
“Did you kill the snake?”
“No. Never kill a snake. If there were no snakes we’d be overrun by mice and rats.”
She grunted. “I’d rather see a rat than a snake.”
Eumeralla
August 1972
Damn, damn, damn! Acacia’s being auctioned. The agent told us today. There are lots of people interested. Keith reckons we’ve got as much chance as anyone else, but we haven’t. I said that whoever’s got the most money will get it, but he said the person with the most money may not want it enough to go over what we can afford. Compared to other properties round here, Acacia’s not got much going for it. Whoever buys it will have to wait at least a year before they plant crops. That’s before they even think about droughts, bush fires or floods.
Fiona’s pen ran out of ink. “Poxy thing,” she muttered, realizing that she had run out of cartridges.
***
Keith woke and felt June’s hair spread across his chest. With two of them in his single bed it was cramped.
“Juju,” he whispered.
She opened her eyes and stretched. “I wish I could stay all night.”
He kissed her. “I wish you could too.”
“We didn’t finish our game,” she said, looking at the chess set on the table.
He nibbled her ear. “How can I concentrate with you sitting in the moonlight looking more beautiful then ever?”
She propped herself up on one elbow. “I’m so happy.”
“So am I. I feel I’ve known you all my life.”
“In a way you have – Fiona I mean.”
“Physically yes. But you’re different.” He got out of bed and pulled on his shirt. “She a lot more like you now than she used to be. She’s happier and more casual. She used to be really sophisticated. But I can tell you apart ... not from a distance though.”
They walked in silence back to the house. Keith watched June creeping up the steps. When she reached the verandah she turned and blew him a kiss, before opening the door and going inside. He strolled back to his cabin in the moonlight lost in the fantasy of him and June living on Acacia.
When Fiona rode to the post-box the following morning there was a letter from Virginia addressed to Greg and Eleanor.
“I haven’t a clue what it’s about,” she said, giving it to Greg at the breakfast table.
“I think I do.” He tore the flap open. “I was right. She wants to give us money so we can increase our bid on Acacia if necessary.”
“Did I hear that right?” said Eleanor, coming onto the verandah with bowls of porridge.
Fiona, feeling torn, nodded.
“We are going to accept, aren’t we?” Eleanor said.
“I don’t know,” said Greg.
“No,” said Keith. “We’ve got to do this on our own.”
Greg nodded. “I agree.”
“But we mightn’t even need the extra money!” protested Eleanor. “We can give it straight back – it’s just insurance to give us a better chance.”
“Much as we want Acacia,” said Tom. “Keith’s right. We’ve got to do this ourselves.”
“You wretched men,” exploded Eleanor. “She’s giving us a chance and you’re chucking it away. Fiona, talk some sense into them.”
Keith, looking embarrassed, said, “Aunty Virginia gave me the money to buy my parents house. Just because she’s my aunt doesn’t mean I have to sponge off her.”
“Then borrow it and pay it back,” said Eleanor.
“No,” said Greg. “We’re not borrowing anything from anyone.”
Fiona, seeing Eleanor’s fury and Greg’s determination to be independent, felt that they were both right. “Why don’t we vote on it?”
“All right,” said Greg. “Who says we should let Virginia give – ”
“No.” Eleanor put her hands on her hips. “Not like this. Think about it during the day and we’ll vote tonight in a secret ballot. There are things you men have to consider. Eumeralla is five thousand acres. Acacia is ten thousand. Think ahead to when the boys get married and have children. They both want to stay on here. How long will it be before it gets too small for all of us?” She looked at Keith. “You and Juju are keen on each other at the moment, but it could fizzle out. You both marry someone else and you all stay here. That’s before we include Fiona and what she wants to do. If she marries a man who wants to live here we’ll end up with so many houses there won’t be any room for crops and livestock. Think hard before you turn down Virginia’s offer. And Gabby should vote too.”
Eumeralla
August 1972
We voted no. I was in a dilemma all day. One minute I was going to say yes, the next no. In the end I voted no. Keith’s right. We’ve got to do this by ourselves. And Mum used to bombard me with cries of, ‘After all I’ve done for you.’ I don’t want her to ever throw that at Keith or anyone else. Eleanor’s refusing to talk to anyone.
Keith found Eleanor in the kitchen washing the dishes. She hadn’t spoken for two days and he hated the atmosphere.
“Do you know if this is real?” he asked, hoping curiosity would make her turn around and look at him. “I looked up gemstones in the encyclopedia,” he continued, when she failed to respond. “It said the darker the sapphire the better the quality. This one’s navy. If it is real I’ll sell it so we can increase our bidding limit.”
When she faced him and looked at the ring he held in the palm of his hand, he tried not to look satisfied. “It was Mum’s, but I doubt if Dad could afford – ”
She picked up the sapphire and diamond ring and held it to the light. “It’s real all right. Your father didn’t buy it ... it belonged to his mother and his grandmother before that. It was passed down to the wife of the eldest son.”
“So it was Francesca’s first?”
“Yes. When Ruth heard that your Dad was getting married again she gave it to Aunty Virginia to give to your mother. Would you really sell it?”
He nodded. “How much do you think it’s worth?”
“I haven’t got a clue. You’ll have to get it valued.”
Eumeralla
August 1972
Keith came back from Brisbane with a huge cheque for the ring. Now we can up our bid. Eleanor’s happier. It was ghastly when she wasn’t speaking to us. The estate agent wrote to tell me they’ve got a buyer for my unit. Dad hasn’t answered my letters so I’m going to see him. When he was here I didn’t tell him I could ride, I wanted to surprise him when I was at Kingower for Tree’s wedding, but with me not speaking to Virginia and Dad not speaking to me, maybe it would be wiser if I didn’t go. It’s Tree’s big day and I’d hate there to be a sour atmosphere. What with our quarrel and the auction, I’m a nervous wreck.
CHAPTER 17
When Fiona arrived at her unit on Friday afternoon Alex was not there. The lounge was untidy with newspapers scattered all over the floor and the ashtrays were full. She opened the windows to get rid of the stale smell of cigarettes. In the spare bedroom she found the bed unmade and
piles of dirty clothes all over the floor. Pleased to be able to do something positive she tidied the room and put his shirts into the washing machine. By the time she had vacuumed all the rooms she felt better.
Two hours later when all the washing was hanging on the line and she had tidied and cleaned the whole unit, Alex had still not arrived. Disappointed, she walked to Ruth’s house.
“He’s gone to Kingower for the weekend,” she told Fiona.
“Has Dad said anything about our quarrel?”
“No. He’s said nothing about your mother either,” Ruth said, handing her a glass of sherry.
“You don’t think he’ll leave her for good, do you?”
Ruth looked at her thoughtfully. “Do you want him to?”
“No, he’s all she’s got.”
“She’s got lots of friends.”
“Friends can be replaced – husbands can’t. If he divorced her she’d never marry anyone else.” She looked perturbed. “Do you think he will divorce her?”
Ruth lit a cigarette. “In his current mood he could do anything.”
“Would he cut me off permanently?”
“The same answer as before, Fiona. I’ve never seen him like this. Never. I’m going to Kingower tomorrow morning; why don’t you come with me?”
“Thanks, Aunty Ruth.”
“I won’t tell them you’re coming ... it might be better to catch your father unawares.”
They arrived at Kingower at lunchtime.
David looked at Fiona in annoyance when she got out of Ruth’s car. “I didn’t know you were coming.”
“Hello, Uncle David, how nice to see you. I haven’t come to seduce Stefan. Where’s my father?”
“I see you’re still as inconsiderate as ever.”
“Your greeting was hardly courteous.”
“Stop it, both of you,” said Ruth. “Fiona wants to talk to her father – where is he?”
“In the paddock with Margot and Kim.”
Fiona looked despondent.
“I’ll come with you,” said Ruth.
“Ruth,” said David. “Are you well?”
“Of course I’m well. What are you looking at?”
“Nothing ... you look a bit pale.”
She turned to Fiona. “Do I look pale?”
“You look fine to me. Uncle David probably presumes I’ve upset you like I seem to upset most of the Lancasters.”
“How long are you staying?” he asked Fiona.
“The whole weekend.”
“If you’d told us we would have got a room ready for you,” he said coldly.
Ruth and Fiona set off towards the paddock. Half way there Fiona slowed down. “What if he won’t speak to me? I don’t want Aunty Margot and Kim to know.”
“The Clarkson pride. I don’t think he’s told her – he’s got his pride too. He won’t want to admit that his marriage is rocky.”
Fiona chewed her lip. “You said last night that he’s likely to do anything. What if he leaves Mum and moves to Kingower?”
“Be realistic, Fiona. Where would he live?”
“Tree’s cottage when she and Stefan get married.”
“He wouldn’t be happy in a small cottage when he’s been used to living a life of luxury with Virginia.”
“As you said about his current mood – ”
“Yes, all right. I’m sorry I said it now.”
Fiona wandered over to a log and sat on it. “We’ve never had a serious fight before. I don’t know what to do. Dad can’t look after himself – the unit was in a mess. But that hasn’t made him go back to Mum.”
“No,” said Ruth, sitting beside her. “He married her because he idolized her not because he wanted to be looked after. He found her brutal honesty and wildness refreshing. She was a fantastic rider, but she was undisciplined, and rode for the sheer hell of it – the thrill of speed and the danger. He’d never met anyone like her ... neither had I. I found her overpowering at first. But Alex, Francesca and I were better riders. Our technique was good and we won her respect.”
Fiona picked up a gum leaf and crushed it. “Should I forgive her?”
“Yes. She loves you very much ... probably too much. Nothing can excuse the terrible lie she told you, but she’s been a good mother. Do you know why she doesn’t ride here any more?”
Fiona had never thought about it. “No.”
“Because you couldn’t.”
“Oh. Why don’t you ride here?”
“For the same reason as Virginia.”
“Oh, I didn’t know. I’ve been ungrateful.”
“Come on, let’s go to the paddock.”
“I can’t face him in front of Aunty Margot and Kim.”
“You must, you’ve come all this way to see him.”
Fiona threw the remains of the gum leaf on the ground. “What if he shouts at me again?”
“Shout back.”
“Aunty Ruth, am I selfish to want everything?”
“Lots of people less deserving than you have it all so I don’t see why you shouldn’t. Now come on.”
Normally Fiona enjoyed walking at Kingower, but she was too apprehensive to appreciate the green of the winter grass and the slanting sunlight through the bare branches. When they reached the paddock she saw Margot, Kim and Alex standing with a horse. From a distance Margot, tall, straight backed and thin with her grey hair done in a bun, looked younger than her seventy-two years.
Kim saw them first. “Hi, Aunty Ruth, you look well.”
Alex turned and looked quizzically at Fiona.
“Is there any reason I shouldn’t look well, Kim?”
“No, I’m just pleased you do, that’s all.” She turned back to the horse, lifted up its leg and examined the hoof.
“We weren’t expecting Fiona,” said Margot.
“It was a last-minute decision,” Ruth told her. “How many foals in the spring?”
Kim patted the mare’s rump. “Six.”
Fiona saw that Alex was dispirited. When Kim finished her inspection they walked towards the gate.
“Alex, I want to talk to you,” said Ruth.
Kim looked alarmed. “What about?” she blurted out.
“Something private,” Ruth replied irritably.
When Margot and Kim were out of earshot Fiona turned to Alex. “Dad, I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
She was confused. “I don’t understand.”
“Neither do I, Fiona. I haven’t got the foggiest idea why I’m behaving like this. I’m ashamed.”
Ruth walked towards the gate. “Now I know you don’t need a referee, I’ll leave you.”
“Why didn’t you answer my letters?”
“You’ve exonerated me, but not Virginia. It’s divided us. We’re both to blame not just her. She’s suffering and she won’t let me help.”
“I’m sorry you’re so unhappy, Dad, and I’m sorry I’ve caused it.”
“Fiona, you didn’t cause it, the whole thing is mostly my fault.”
“If it will make you happy I’ll forgive Mum.”
He shook his head. “It’s got to come naturally. Begin by at least talking to her,” he said, putting his arm around her shoulder. “But do it in your own time or it will sound artificial.”
“All right. Dad, have you told anyone about our fight? Anyone here, I mean.”
“No.”
“Thanks.”
Stefan first knew that Fiona was at Kingower while he, Kim and Catriona were walking to the homestead on Saturday evening. He and Catriona had spent the afternoon at their house checking to see how the work was progressing. “Now all that awful wallpaper’s off the rooms look much bigger,” he told Kim.
“Fiona’s here,” she said cautiously.
He was pleased it was dark.
“I thought she was in Queensland.” Catriona sounded equally cautious.
“She’s staying the weekend.”
Certain that his voice would betray his guilt, Ste
fan said nothing. He took Catriona’s hand and squeezed it. They reached the homestead and walked up the steps to the verandah in silence. He braced himself to meet Fiona, aware that neither Catriona nor Kim knew she was May. The eight weeks since he had almost broken their engagement had been happy ones. He spent the weekends at Kingower and had begun packing his possessions in Melbourne. They had bought material for the curtains, chosen carpets, and wedding presents had begun to arrive.
Keeping thoughts of Fiona at bay had been easier as the time passed. Their imminent meeting filled him with trepidation. ‘She can never be mine. And I don’t want her,’ he told himself as he entered the lounge.
The convivial atmosphere of the night before had vanished. A huge fire blazed in the fireplace, but the cosy ambience was replaced by coldness. Even where they stood proclaimed which side they were on. Fiona, Alex and Ruth were by the fire while Margot, David and his wife stood apart near the French windows. Stefan tried to avoid looking at Fiona, but could not. His spirits plummeted. She wore a Black Watch tartan skirt, black tights and patent leather shoes, and a yellow jumper over a white blouse with a round collar. The pleated skirt was six inches above her knees and revealed her long shapely legs. She could have been a model at a photo shoot. As he took in her appearance it occurred to him that, if asked, he would not be able to say what Catriona was wearing. He had seen Fiona twice before and could remember exactly what she had worn on each occasion.
After stilted greetings they went into the dining room where the table was set with a lace cloth, silver and crystal. Fiona’s offer to help carry in the serving dishes was rejected. Stefan usually savoured family dinners at Kingower, especially in the winter when the room was illuminated by the log fire and candles.
“How are the wedding plans, Tree?” asked Fiona.
Catriona smiled at her and Stefan appreciated her effort. “Fine, thanks. How do you like Queensland?”
As Fiona enthused about Eumeralla, Stefan noted her voice had changed. It was softer and less staccato. ‘She’s got a slight drawl,’ he thought.
Eumeralla - Secrets, Tragedy and Love Page 23