Now I look back on the weekend I spent at Kingower I can see that my behaviour was petty. Instead of leading them on, I should have told them I could ride. I want to put the past behind us and start again. I’ll try hard at the wedding. I’ve written to Tree and Kim to let them know how I feel.
***
Kim finished reading Fiona’s letter. “Huh, I doubt she’s sincere.”
“We should try trusting her,” said Catriona who was opening wedding presents.
“Don’t be naive. We trusted her once and she betrayed us. Not just me, but you too.”
“People change. She’s happy now.” Catriona added a name to the list of thank-you letters she had to write. “She’s found her real family and she can ride. Maybe she was jealous of us and that’s why she nicked our boyfriends. And she’s apologized for the way she behaved in August, and I think you and Dad should say sorry too.”
“Why should we?”
Catriona folded up the wrapping paper. “Think back to that night, Kim. You and Dad were obnoxious to her.”
“She set out to make fools of us.”
“It wasn’t hard to do, was it?” said Catriona, putting the wedding cards on the mantelpiece. “We should have asked her if she’d learned to ride. After all she’d been living on a big sheep station since April.”
Kim chewed her lip. “Tree?”
“What?”
“She’s May.”
“She can’t be.”
“She is. When she was born her name was May. Aunty Margot told me.”
Catriona snatched Fiona’s letter and tore it up.
“Is it too late to tell her not to come to the wedding?” Kim asked, grateful that the revelation had altered her attitude.
Catriona went over to the window and stared into the garden. “Yes.”
“Why?”
“She bought us a damask tablecloth and serviettes.”
Kim threw up her hands. “Give them back.”
“It’s not that. It would be an aggressive act to tell her not to come.” Catriona ran her hands through her hair. “She’s been generous, and so have Uncle Alex and Aunty Virginia – they gave us a canteen of silver cutlery. We can’t upset them.”
“Tree, this family is in danger from her.”
“No, Kim. It would make us look vindictive. Aunty Ruth would go mad. She’d never speak to us again.”
“We’ll have to tell her about my premonition ... just the May bit.”
“Fiona’s mostly up in Queensland now so hopefully we won’t see much of her.”
Kim, thinking that a great deal of damage could be done in one visit, said, “After the wedding Dad can tell Uncle Alex and Aunty Ruth what Oliver said. We can’t risk having her here.”
Eumeralla
September 1972
Kim and Tree have not replied to my letter. I hope it’s because they’re too busy. The wedding is this weekend. Tom and I are flying to Melbourne tomorrow and staying the night with Aunty Ruth and then we’ll drive to Kingower together. He’s getting excited – he’s never been on a plane.
If everyone ignores me I’ll be mortified. I hope they like Tom. It would be even worse if they ignored him.
The weather has warmed up. The mozzies and flies are out in force and we’ve stocked up on insect repellent. Fingers crossed, I haven’t seen any snakes yet.
***
‘I’ve never felt so fraught,’ Virginia thought as she got off the plane at TullamarineAirport. The sight of her thin face in the mirror that morning had not been reassuring and make-up did little to conceal the dark shadows under her eyes. The skirt of her mauve linen suit was so big she had to adjust the button and zip. There was nothing she could do about the jacket, which was now almost two sizes too large.
When she walked into the arrival lounge she saw Alex.
“Hello, Virginia. How are you?”
“Very well. How are you?”
“Fine.” He took her case and they walked out to the car park.
The silence filled Virginia with misgivings. ‘This is mad,’ she thought. ‘We’ve been married for thirty-four years – back there we sounded like strangers.’ They got into the car and Alex drove towards Melbourne.
“I thought we were going straight to Kingower,” she said, praying that he was not taking her to a solicitor to discuss divorce.
“We’re going to have lunch first. You look as if you could do with a good meal.”
“So do you.” She relaxed a little. “How are you really, Alex?”
“Rotten. And you?”
“Rotten,” she said, not caring that her voice was husky.
They went into an Italian restaurant in Carlton that Alex had discovered a week before. The red tablecloths gave it a cheerful atmosphere and the smell of garlic and tomatoes was appetizing. It was eleven o’clock and only one table was occupied.
As Alex chose a seat in a corner by the window Virginia felt her spirits lift, but she decided to keep the conversation light. If she apologized and talked about their marriage she would become overwrought. ‘I’ll never take him for granted again,’ she thought, picking up the menu. ‘He might have brought me here so he can talk about divorce without me making a scene. No, he wouldn’t do that. Oh, God, what if he does? I will cry, I won’t be able to help it.’
“Virginia, you look scared stiff.”
She tried to smile. “Do I? No, I’m just a bit ... I’m sorry I drove you away. Yes, you’re right ... I am. I’ve never been so scared. Even when I was in Singapore and the Japanese were coming I wasn’t this frightened. I’m terrified you want a divorce.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve been so horrible.” She looked him straight in the eye. “I don’t want to lose you, but I know I deserve to.”
The waiter came over.
“What are you having, Darling?” asked Alex.
Elated because he had called her darling, she said, “Minestrone soup and cannelloni, please.”
When the waiter left, Alex said, “For years we’ve had this secret hanging over us. Now Fiona knows the truth, and we’re both suffering from the repercussions. We’ve got to adjust.”
“Yes.” She buttered a roll. “Alex, have you missed me?”
“I didn’t at first – it was a relief to be away. Sometimes I miss you. I’m pleased we’re together now.”
“I’ve missed you terribly.”
He smiled. “Have you? Have you really?”
“Yes,” she whispered. “Oh, Alex.”
***
‘It’s too late to back out,’ Stefan thought as he stood under the shower on the morning of his wedding day. ‘Leaving a bride at the altar is worse than divorce. I just hope I can get through the day without seeing too much of Fiona.’
After his shower he roamed around the house, into which he had moved a week ago. The decorators had finished, the carpets had been laid and the curtains hung. Catriona said that she could live with Scandinavian-style furniture if he could tolerate her colour scheme. Their bedroom was furnished with oak wardrobes, bedside tables, a chest of drawers and a king- sized bed all bought for them by her parents. Margot had given them a dining table and eight chairs. He and Catriona had hardly had to buy anything. Friends and his relations had bought them breakfast crockery, glasses and shining saucepans, which were neatly arranged in the large yellow and white kitchen. It would be years before they ran out of towels and bed linen.
“Everything’s perfect,” he said loudly. He sighed, went back to the bedroom and dressed in the expensive white shirt, silk tie and new suit that he had bought specially for the wedding. “I’m lucky,” he told his reflection. “If I’d never met Fiona I’d be happy. Why am I thinking like a lunatic?”
While he waited for his best man to arrive he put a record of The Beatles’ Ballads on the stereo. He was tempted to have a drink, but resisted. Turning up at the church drunk would be almost as bad as not turning up at all. While the Song For No One was playing he was aware of e
very word.
‘A Love that should have lasted years,’ sang Paul McCartney.
Stefan shut his eyes. “Oh, God, what am I doing?”
The first person he saw when he arrived at the church was Fiona.
His best man parked the car in the shade and followed the direction of his gaze. “Is that her?”
Stefan nodded.
“Wow. But she’s too good for you or me, Mate.” He went to open the door, but Stefan stopped him.
“Why?” he asked belligerently. “What’s wrong with me?”
“She’ll probably marry some millionaire or film star. And what’s wrong with you, Mate, is that in an hour’s time you’ll be married. Smile. It’s your wedding day.”
“How the hell can I smile?”
“You know, Stefan, when we were at school and uni together, I admired you. You were clever, good at sport, and popular. When you and Tree got engaged I envied you. I don’t envy you now, and I sure don’t admire you. You’ve succumbed to the cheap allure of a flibbertigibbet.”
Stefan felt like hitting him. “There’s nothing cheap about her.”
“How quickly you defend her honour.”
“Well she’s not flaunting anything, is she? If she was cheap she’d have a low neckline and a high hemline.”
“True.” He looked out of the car window and observed Fiona. “But I bet she’s frivolous and self-centred.”
“No, she’s not. You said she was too good for you and me, so make up your mind.”
“Okay. Shall we drive to Kingower and tell Catriona you want to call the wedding off?”
“I couldn’t do that to Tree – it would humiliate her. She doesn’t deserve that.”
“She doesn’t deserve to marry a man who doesn’t love her.”
“I do.”
“No. You used to, but what you felt didn’t prevent you from becoming smitten with someone else.” He put the key back in the ignition. “You’ve stopped loving Tree – so let’s drive to Kingower and tell her. She’ll be humiliated and distressed, but she’ll get over it and find someone better than you.”
“That wouldn’t be difficult.”
“No. Lots of men are better than you at the moment, including me.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I might. Who’s that man with Fiona?”
“I don’t know,” said Stefan. “It might be her boyfriend. I hope it is.”
“Is the wedding on?”
He sighed and nodded.
“Don’t be too enthusiastic, Stefan. Overexcitement’s bad for you.”
“Oh, very funny.”
Fiona was standing so close to his car it was impossible for Stefan to pretend he had not seen her. She wore a yellow silk dress. A small cameo set in silver, and suspended on a navy velvet ribbon, hung round her long neck.
“Hi, Stefan. This is my brother Tom.” She said ‘my brother’ with pride, the way a newly- married woman might say, ‘my husband.’
Throughout the marriage ceremony Stefan was in a daze. When they came out of the church, people who had not been invited were waiting outside for Catriona. Children whose pets she had saved or had comforted when there was no hope, thrust gifts into her hands. Stefan felt mean that he had made her scale down the wedding. Although they had been excluded, their lack of resentment made him realize the extent of the goodwill the Lancaster family generated throughout the district.
“Do you like my dress?” Catriona asked as they posed for photographs.
“Yes,” he lied, realizing he didn’t have a clue what Catriona or Kim were wearing, while imprinted on his memory was every detail of Fiona’s outfit. Round one wrist was a silver bracelet and on the other was a marcasite watch. He even noticed that she wore sheer pale-grey hosiery and that her handbag and high heeled shoes were navy. Her shining hair swung and the skirt of her dress moved enticingly when she walked.
Catriona’s dress was a disaster of lace and frills. He had never seen her look worse. Her hair was piled high with corkscrew curls and topped with a lace veil and a headdress that added two inches to her height. ‘The bloody hairstyle looks like Medusa’s,’ he thought. Her few attempts at dressing up were rarely successful. She looked best in jodhpurs, slacks or tailored suits worn with a plain shirt.
“Who’s that chap with Fiona?” asked Kim as the photographer organized them into groups.
“Her brother,” Stefan said. He saw the gleam of interest in her eyes.
After the photos they got into the wedding cars under a shower of confetti and drove to Kingower. As the vintage Rolls Royce drove slowly up the drive Catriona squeezed his hand. “The rhododendrons and azaleas are at their best ... divine, aren’t they?”
He nodded, and saw the bees flying into the flowers that ranged in colour from white and cream and the palest pink to the deepest red. This time last year he had gloried in the spectacle. Now he felt that the myriad colours were imprisoning him. He stared at a bush heavy with flowers that were the same yellow as Fiona’s dress.
To his dismay the seating arrangements at the wedding breakfast meant that Fiona was in his direct line of vision. Trying not to look at her absorbed him so much, he was scarcely aware of what anyone was saying. He roused himself sufficiently to make his speech, but knew that his words lacked credibility. When the room was cleared for dancing, his best man had to prompt him to lead Catriona onto the floor. When they cut their wedding cake Fiona was the first person he saw when he looked up.
Kim was debating whether to go over and introduce herself to Fiona’s brother when Fiona saw her looking at them, and came over.
“This is my brother Tom,” she said. “He taught me to ride.”
Kim braced herself for a sarcastic remark.
He held out his hand. “Hi. You and your sister are vets, right?”
She looked at his genuine smile and decided that they were not going to gloat at her. “Yes.”
“Bet that’s handy, I wish we had one in our family. Fiona told me all about the riding school and treks. It sounds great.”
As they chatted Kim became increasingly interested. His relaxed personality combined with his looks made him attractive. Wavy dark hair just touched his collar. Its haphazard cut added to his air of carelessness, which was at odds with the sophistication of the grey suit, white shirt and red silk tie he had borrowed from Alex. His skin was tanned and his hands were calloused and strong. She noticed that many of the females in the room were looking at him.
Stefan was pleased when it was time to leave the reception. As he waited for Catriona to change into her going-away outfit, he hoped that their two-week honeymoon on The Great Barrier Reef would enable him to recapture his old feelings of contentment and love for her. ‘And I will forget about Fiona,’ he vowed.
David’s voice broke into his thoughts. “Make her happy, Stefan.”
“I will,” he promised.
When she walked into the drawing room his smile was genuine. Divested of the unflattering wedding dress, she wore a suit in honey-coloured velvet and a black satin blouse. The gold horseshoe pendant, that was his wedding present to her, hung round her neck, emphasizing its length and slenderness. She slipped her arm through his.
He kissed her. “You look ravishing.”
Kim ran forward with the bridal bouquet. “You’ve got to throw this!”
Catriona laughed. “I’d forgotten. Ready, girls?” she called.
The bouquet of irises and daffodils sailed over Kim and Fiona’s heads and was caught by the receptionist who worked at the veterinary surgery. Amid cheers Stefan and Catriona ran out onto the verandah, down the steps, and to the car that was waiting to take them to Melbourne.
It was after midnight by the time all the wedding guests had left or gone to bed. Kim walked with Margot back to her house. She hitched up the skirt of her bridesmaid’s dress.
“You danced with Tom a lot. He seems a pleasant young man.”
Under the neutral tone, Kim detected despondency. “I like
him, Aunty Margot.”
“Fiona’s brother.”
Kim sighed. “It complicates things. He doesn’t look anything like her, does he?”
“No. When are you seeing him again?”
“I’m going to show him our horses after breakfast and we might go for a ride. Depends how we all feel.”
“What did you talk about?”
“He told me all about Eumeralla and I told him all about our riding school and the trekking holidays and weekends. We’ve got a lot in common.”
“Yes. But, with you feeling like this, your father and I can’t tell Fiona not to come to Kingower.”
“Maybe it’ll come to nothing. He might have a girlfriend in Queensland,” she said, as they reached Margot’s house.
“I don’t think so ... not the way he was looking at you.” She patted Toby. “No, you can’t come in, go home with Kim.”
“See you tomorrow, Aunty Margot.”
When Kim got back to her cottage she took the pins out of her hair and tried to comb it, but it was so teased and lacquered she gave up. ‘I’ll do it in the morning when I have a shower.’ She tried to sleep, but was too stimulated by thoughts of Tom. Shadowing her fantasy about him were darker thoughts of Fiona.
Tom had found Kim invigorating. She was as engrossed by the land and horses as he was. Looking forward to seeing her again he got out of bed and had a shower, hoping that they would go for a ride. When he went into the kitchen she was laying the table for breakfast. He stared at her. Dressed in jodhpurs and a white shirt she looked different. Her black hair, that yesterday had been dulled by spray, was now straight and glossy. “Gosh, Kim?”
She blushed. “I look different now I’m not dressed up,” she said, sounding disillusioned.
“You look a hell of a lot better.”
“Do I? How come?”
“Your hair’s soft and I can see your figure now you haven’t got that awful dress on.”
Eumeralla - Secrets, Tragedy and Love Page 26