Praise for Them: A Memoir of Parents
“In an arresting new memoir…(Gray) paints a vivid, often harrowing portrait of her formidable mother and her equally formidable stepfather…. What is so astonishing is…her ability to wield the cool detachment of a biographer while simultaneously drawing on a daughter’s heated reservoirs of memory and emotion…. In these pages she uses all her writerly gifts—her skills of observation, emotional recall, and, yes, detachment—to give the reader an intense and remarkably powerful portrait.”
—Michiko Kakutani, The New York Times
“A spellbinding, warts-and-all double portrait…a dazzling account…With a masterful balance of ‘ruthlessness and tenderness,’ research and reminiscence, grievance and gratitude, (Gray’s) book is a sterling example of the personal memoir exalted to cultural history.”
—Los Angeles Times
“Francine du Plessix Gray examines in loving but unsentimental detail the lives of her mother…and stepfather…. Tatiana and Alexander are fascinating characters, but so what? Gray’s unapologetically subjective candor and lithe prose are what make their story so lively and so devastating. Them is one of the finest memoirs in recent years.”
—Newsday
“It’s a cursed blessing, and a blessed curse, to have strong parents; so novelist and biographer Francine du Plessix Gray makes it appear in Them, her beautifully written, often painfully and bravely honest memoir…. She bestows…the light and warmth of her patient, unflagging attention and the grace and penetration of her words.”
—San Francisco Chronicle
“Gray’s way with words, her insight into the human condition and her almost eerie sense of objectivity about her upbringing have converged to create an enthralling story of the primal bond between a child and her parents. And what parents—the Libermans are two of the most fascinating characters you’ll ever encounter in the pages of a memoir, or for that matter, any book.”
—The Seattle Times
“[An] expansive, compelling book…This formidable memoir…is an elegant act of literary commemoration and conciliation…. Here is a daughter’s unflinching account of her parents’ and her own survival.”
—Chicago Tribune
“Them is blessed with the memoir’s equivalent of good bones: epic scope and historic scale…. But the tale is in the telling, and Gray’s acumen, honesty, and elegant prose…are equal to the task of portraying her exceptionally complicated parents, while her exhaustive research and uncluttered perspective allow her to illuminate their relationship to their times in a way most memoirists cannot…. An excellent book.”
—The Boston Globe
“An exquisite memoir…Gray has written that rare memoir never sunk by indulgence…. We, as readers, are indeed lucky to devour such a gift.”
—The Philadelphia Inquirer
“Them is the book that Francine du Plessix Gray was born to write…. This brilliant and moving memoir [is written with] honesty and rigor…a compelling and fascinating book.”
—The New York Sun
“Them is like Star magazine for the literary set. Jam-packed with juicy gossip…it is guilty pleasure without the guilt…probing, sometimes heartbreaking.”
—The Houston Chronicle
“[A] complex and rewarding family memoir…more addictive than any Vanity Fair exclusive. Gray is such a fine writer, her family story reads like a novel.”
—Publishers Weekly (starred review)
“A genre-bending book, part memoir, part biography, part elegy and part lyrical magic…Within its sweeping scope are cameos so unforgettable, language so transcendent, that the book achieves the rare feat of offering something for everyone.”
—Milwaukee Journal Sentinel
“Distinguished journalist, novelist and biographer du Plessix Gray turns her descriptive and analytic powers to the legendary lives of her glamorous, Russian-born mother and stepfather…. Famous names and juicy stories, served up with literary elegance.”
—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Du Plessix Gray [is] a writer of scintillating style and resonant substance…An enthralling storyteller and incisive interpreter of the human psyche…du Plessix Gray’s penetrating and unforgettable memoir of a peerless family reads like a great epic novel.”
—Booklist (starred review)
“[A] fascinating book.”
—Washington Monthly
“The story that Francine du Plessix tells in this…family history cum biography cum memoir is exceedingly interesting, indeed at times startlingly so.”
—The Washington Post
“A rich pastry of a book, stuffed with information on the immigrant experience, parent-child relations, social climbing, the fashion, retailing, and publishing industries, and the art world.”
—The Cleveland Plain Dealer
PENGUIN BOOKS
THEM
Francine du Plessix Gray is a regular contributor to The New Yorker, and the author of numerous books of fiction and nonfiction including Simone Weil; At Home with the Marquis de Sade: A Life; Rage and Fire; Lovers and Tyrants; and Soviet Women. She lives in Connecticut.
Them
A Memoir of Parents
Francine du Plessix Gray
PENGUIN BOOKS
PENGUIN BOOKS
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, U.S.A.
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Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices:
80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
First published in the United States of America by The Penguin Press, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc. 2005
Published in Penguin Books 2006
Copyright © Francine du Plessix Gray, 2005
All rights reserved
Portions of this book first appeared in different form in The American Scholar and The New Yorker.
Back matter constitutes an extension of this copyright page.
THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS HAS CATALOGED THE HARDCOVER EDITION AS FOLLOWS:
Gray, Francine du Plessix.
Them: a memoir of parents / Francine du Plessix Gray.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN: 978-1-1012-2136-5
1. Iakovleva, Tatiana, 1906–1991. 2. Liberman, Alexander, 1912–1999.
3. Immigrants—New York (State)—New York—Biography. 4. Russians—New York (State)—New York—Biography. 5. Women fashion designers—New York—Biography.
7. Publishers and publishing—New York (State)—New York—Biography. 8. Sculptors—New York (State)—New York—Biography. 9. New York (N.Y.)—Biography. I. Title.
CT275.II5G73 2005
974.7'I0049I7I'00922—dc22
[B]
2004065944
The scanning, uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal
and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
To Them
With love and longing
Contents
List of Illustrations
Introduction
A Note on Transliteration
PART ONE: THE OLD WORLD
ONE Tatiana
TWO Uncle Sasha
THREE Vladimir Vladimirovich Mayakovsky
FOUR The Mayakovsky Legacy
FIVE Alex and His Father
SIX Alex and His Mother
SEVEN Alex and His Women
EIGHT Tatiana and Bertrand
NINE 1939–1940
TEN The Debacle
ELEVEN Leaving All Behind
PART TWO: THE NEW WORLD
TWELVE Rochester, New York
THIRTEEN The Authentic Journal of Society, Fashion, and the Ceremonial Side of Life
FOURTEEN In the East Seventies
FIFTEEN Saks Fifth Avenue and Condé Nast
SIXTEEN Our Home I
SEVENTEEN Our Home II
EIGHTEEN Remaining in Fashion
NINETEEN The Artist in His Studios
TWENTY Tatiana’s Decline
TWENTY-ONE Tatiana’s Last
TWENTY-TWO After Tatiana
TWENTY-THREE Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Notes
Index
List of Illustrations
Tatiana in her heyday in the mid-1950s
Tatiana’s maternal grandfather, Nikolai Sergeevich Aistov, late 1870s
The Iacovleff children with their parents, early 1890s
Tatiana and Ludmila with their father, 1915
Tatiana’s mother, Lyubov Nikolaevna Aistova, 1904
Tatiana with her grandmother, Babushka, 1925
Tatiana’s aunt Alexandra Yakovleva, late 1920s
Alexandre Iacovleff (Uncle Sasha), mid-1920s
Uncle Sasha and Anna Pavlova
Alexandre Iacovleff, mid-1920s
Alexandre Iacovleff’s portrait of Haile Selassie, 1928
Alexandre Iacovleff’s portrait of a Tibetan lama, 1932
Alexandre Iacovleff’s portrait of his mother, 1929
Alexandre Iacovleff’s portrait of Tatiana, 1929
Vladimir Mayakovsky, 1928 (Alexander Rodchenko)
Vladimir Mayakovsky
Tatiana in Paris, 1929
Vladimir Mayakovsky, 1929
Tatiana and Bertrand du Plessix, 1929
Alexander Liberman, 1960 (Irving Penn)
Alexander Liberman’s father, Semyon Liberman, late 1920s
Alexander Liberman’s mother, Henriette Pascar, mid-1920s
Alex with his father, 1913
Alexandre Lieberman in Paris, age nineteen
Alex’s cover design for Vu, March 1934
Alex’s cover design for Vu, April 1934
Alex’s photograph of Hilda Sturm, 1937
Alex’s portrait of Hilda Sturm
Alexander Liberman, self-portrait, 1938
Alex’s photograph of Liuba Krasin, 1938
Tatiana at Alex’s house in 1938
Tatiana and Bertrand du Plessix, 1930
Bertrand du Plessix, 1930
Tatiana and Francine, 1931
Tatiana, early 1930s
Tatiana in 1940
Hélène Dessoffy and Hans (“Spatz”) von Dincklege
Bertrand du Plessix and Francine, 1939
Tatiana and Bertrand, mid-1930s
Bertrand du Plessix, 1939
Alex’s first photograph of Francine, 1940
Francine picking grapes, 1940
Tatiana, Alex, and Francine, departing for the United States, 1941
Alexei Iacovleff, ca. 1900
Tatiana and Francine arriving in the United States, 1941
Tatiana’s family in Rochester, New York, 1941
Tatiana, Alex, and Francine, 1941
Alex’s portrait of his father, 1942
Alex at a Vogue party, 1943
Alex’s first cover design for Vogue, Spring 1941 (Horst P. Horst)
Tatiana and Salvador Dalí, late 1940s
Alex, 1941
Tatiana and Francine, 1941
Tatiana, publicity shot, early 1940s
Tatiana in her Saks Fifth Avenue workroom, 1948 (Constantin Joffe)
Vogue cover with Tatiana hats, April 1945 (John Rawlings)
Country lunch in France, early 1950
The family in the house on Seventieth Street
Mabel Moses
The living room at Seventieth Street, late 1950
East wall of the library at Seventieth Street, mid-1950s
Tatiana at home, early 1940s (Erwin Blumenfeld)
Tatiana and Francine, 1944
Alex, Tatiana, and Francine, February 1948 (Irving Penn)
Iva S. Patcevitch 349 Tatiana and Alex, 1946
Tatiana and Alex on the terrace of our summer house
Nada and Francine, 1946
Marlene Dietrich, 1948
Thaddeus and Luke Gray, 1963
Tatiana and Thaddeus, summer 1960
Alex’s “Yellow Boy,” 1938
Alexander Liberman, “Santa Maria della Salute,” 1948
“Two Circles,” Guggenheim exhibition, 1954
Giacometti in his studio
Tatiana and Iva Patcevitch, mid-1950s
Alex painting his “Volcano” series, late 1970s (Dr. William Cahan)
Family photograph, March 1960 (Irving Penn)
House and Garden cover, featuring the Liberman home in Warren, Connecticut (David Massey)
Gennady Smakov, 1984
Tatiana and her grandsons, Luke and Thaddeus, late 1970s
Alex and Si Newhouse, early 1990s (Crosby Coughlin)
Alex’s Adam, Smithsonian Institution, Washington, DC
Tatiana’s last Christmas, 1990
Alex and Tatiana, late 1980s (Dominique Nabokov)
Tatiana Yakovleva du Plessix Liberman, c. 1960 (Irving Penn)
Alex’s portrait of Melinda
Pechangco, 1992
Alex and Melinda at home in Miami, Vanity Fair, November 1993 (Annie Leibovitz)
Alex and Melinda, late 1990s
Alex on his eighty-fifth birthday, September 1997
Alex in Warren, Connecticut, 1977 (Irving Penn)
Introduction
I have an extremely fertile dream life, and a decade ago, upon the fourth anniversary of my mother’s death, I had a powerful dream about her. It went this way:
I am living quietly alone, in a simple country house that is set on a hill overlooking a valley, with a view of another hill of equal height to mine. Suddenly, a message arrives from Mother saying that she wishes me to come immediately to live with her on the opposite hill, which is called “Atlanta.” (Oh, clever subconscious! Change the “l” in Atlanta to an “i” and you get the anagram of my mother’s name, Tatiana.) Mother’s message annoys and riles me, I adamantly resist her command, I send her back the following message: “I’m very happy on my hill, I do not wish to go live with you on your hill, I shall stay where I am!”
Whereupon Mother appears at the threshold of my house, joining me on my own hill. She is the radical opposite of the tall, imperious, flashy mother I knew in real life. She is a very tiny, meek, sweetly smiling old lady dressed in black, wearing a timid little black hat with a dotted veil. And as the dream ends, Mother turns into the happiest old lady I’ve ever seen, she just stands there by the door of my house, declining to enter but smiling merrily at me and waving and blowing me kisses, and I smile and wave and blow kisses back, and there is an aura of serenity, of mutual approval, of tender understanding between us far greater than any we ever shared in real life.
Upon waking from that dream in 1995, I knew exactly what it was telling me: it was time to have a conversation with my mother, the kind of dialogue that many of us can share with our parents only through the act of writing, the kind of conversation I could never have had with her when she was alive. For my flamboyant Russian-born mother—who was one of the foremost fashion icons of her generation, whose life had to do with the art of putting on a spectacular show and of casting her spell on as many people as possible—was particularly averse to conversation. Tatiana Yakovleva du Plessix Liberman announced rather than discussed, proclaimed rather than communicated, dictated rather than conversed. Moreover, the violent historical upheavals she had survived—the Russian Revolution, World War II—had left psychic wounds that she would never expose to anyone, and that she attempted to cloak in silence. And as I wrote my first nonfiction portrait of her—“Growing Up Fashionable,” which was published in The New Yorker and is now diffused throughout several passages of this book—I realized why so many writers have turned to the family memoir and seen it as an essential part of their oeuvre: whether we are Colette, Vladimir Nabokov, Maya Angelou, or Harold Nicolson, the process of piercing our parents’ silence, of unraveling the webs of deceits that they spun about their true selves, and often ours, is not only a way of bringing our beloved dead back to life: it can also offer us a greater measure of retrospective clarity, of self-knowledge, than any other literary form.
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