by Jenna Brandt
“Why? Where was Brianna?”
“His mom got arrested. I told her she needed to get out of the escort business. I even offered to help her start over somewhere else, but she refused. Told me she couldn’t get out, not with the clients she had and what they would do to her if she tried. I was worried one day something like this was going to happen.”
“So, Marcus is going to live with you permanently then?”
“I don’t know,” Roger said with a shrug, his eyes drifting down to the table. “I’m still trying to figure all of this out. For now, I can’t see any other option.”
Celeste nodded, trying to wrap her mind around everything Roger just divulged to her.
“I’m not even sure why I’m telling you this. I shouldn’t dump all of this on you, but Bryce and Lana trust you, so I figured I could too. With Bryce gone, I don’t have anyone else to confide in. I know it’s not your problem—none of this is—I just didn’t know what else to do.”
“It’s okay; I’m glad you felt you could trust me. I understand feeling like you don’t have anyone you can talk to. Since Lana moved away, I’ve been in the same boat.”
“Do you think less of me because of all this?” Roger asked, peeking up at her with a worried look. “It’s a pretty messed up situation.”
“No, I don’t. We all have things in our past we can be ashamed of, but that’s why we need God. If we give those things to Him, God can remove the shame from us and give us freedom in exchange. Take me for example; I grew up in a rough neighborhood in the Bronx and got involved with a bad group of kids. I spent the majority of my teen years getting into trouble. I was lucky I didn’t end up in jail myself. A pastor caught me putting graffiti on the wall of his church. Rather than call the cops on me, he invited me inside and talked to me about God. He changed my life. If that hadn’t happened, I could’ve very easily ended up with a kid of my own, so there’s no judgment on my end.”
“I appreciate you saying that. I’ve just tried to keep all of this super quiet, and now, I’m worried it’s all going to blow up in my face.”
“You can’t worry about that. You need to focus on that little boy in the other room. He needs to be your priority—what’s best for him. I can’t even imagine how he is feeling with what’s happening.”
Roger’s brows came together in a furrow. “You’re right. I should be focusing on that; making sure he is taken care of.”
“We should get inside and find a seat. Worship is probably nearly over.”
“Sorry for making you miss it,” Roger apologized as they stood up from the table, “but you really have helped me put all of this into perspective.”
“It’s all right. God wanted me here to talk with you about this. I can see that.”
As they entered the sanctuary, Celeste turned to Roger and offered, “Why don’t you sit with me today?”
“Thanks, I’d like that.”
They found two seats towards the back of the sanctuary; grateful any were available since the church was often packed to capacity.
The service passed quickly, with Pastor Greg continuing to talk about change and how life passes like seasons. By the end, Celeste was relaxed and could tell from Roger’s content look, it did him a world of good too.
She wasn’t sure how all of this was going to shake out for Roger, but she knew if he was going to church and seeking a relationship with God, it would be all right.
3
The chaos around Roger was completely overwhelming. As his eyes darted around the room, taking in the mountain of dishes in the sink and on the counter, he pondered how the two of them could accumulate in two days the same amount he alone generated in a month.
When he ordered the groceries to be delivered, he had no idea Marcus would go through all of them so quickly. The remainder of the kitchen counters were littered with open boxes of cereal, empty cans of pasta and sauce, and a full gallon of milk. Looking at the boy, it was amazing he could stuff so much food in a frame so tiny.
Then, there was the issue of his stuff. Though Marcus only came with a backpack and a suitcase, the number of items that spilled out of them was shocking. The disruption caused by the toys and clothes scattered across Roger’s apartment was almost more than the neat-freak could handle. He liked to have his home in order, and rarely had anything out of place. What was he going to do?
He could afford a live-in housekeeper, but with just himself in the house, he had kept it rather clean. Plus, he didn’t like the idea of having a stranger living in his house. A twice weekly maid was all he needed, well, at least until Marcus took over his house. Now, as Roger looked around at the dishevel the boy caused, he wondered if he should increase the visits to double that.
“I hungry,” Marcus whined, pulling on the edge of Roger’s shirt. “What for dinner?”
Roger looked in the cabinets, confirming there was nothing left from the groceries he got yesterday.
“Do you like sushi?” Roger asked, wondering if he could talk the kid into some fish.
“What that?” the boy asked with wide eyes. “Sounds gross.”
If he didn’t know what it was, it probably wasn’t the best idea to try it out on him tonight. Roger didn’t even know if he had any food allergies. How would he find that out? Wouldn’t Brianna’s friend have told him? Better to err on the side of caution and avoid anything too adventurous.
“Do you like Chinese food?” Roger asked next, thinking rice and noodles were pretty safe.
The boy shook his head. “Yucky things are in it.”
It looked like Roger wouldn’t be eating a lot of his favorite foods for a while if Marcus had anything to say about it.
“Italian it is,” Roger said, remembering he ate the pasta in sauce from the can last night. “You want me to order you spaghetti?”
Every kid liked spaghetti, right?
The boy shook his head up and down as a giant grin formed on his face. “I love it.”
Relief flooded Roger as he realized he made the boy happy. Then, unexpectedly, a warmth filled his heart at how good it made him feel to know he put the grin on Marcus’ face.
After eating and cleaning up the mess as best as he could, Roger helped Marcus get ready for bed.
“Do you need the hall light on again?” Roger asked, as he started to head out of the guest bedroom.
Marcus nodded his head, as his lip began to quiver. “I wanna be brave, but I scared.”
Roger waffled at the door, then turned back around to face the boy. He looked so tiny in the giant queen bed, it made Roger wonder if it was the right choice to be putting him in it.
“You don’t have to be brave, Marcus,” Roger said, coming to sit on the edge of the bed. “It’s okay to be afraid.” Leaning over towards him, he admitted, “I’ll tell you something I haven’t told anyone else; I’m afraid too, not just of our new situation, but of failing, of not ever being truly happy. If I’m honest with myself, I’m afraid of a lot of things, but you know what helps?”
“What?” the little boy asked, sitting up slightly in the bed.
“I pray. Since I started praying, it helps me not be so afraid.” Reaching out, Roger placed his hand on the top of Marcus’ tiny one. “Do you want to try it?”
“How you do it?” the boy asked with curiosity.
“How about I do it the first time for tonight, and then tomorrow night, if you feel up to it, you can try?”
“Okay.”
Roger folded his hand around the boy’s as he softly spoke. “Dear God, help Marcus and me to not be afraid. There’s lots of things to be afraid of, but You can help us with all of them. You’re that big, and when we give our fears to You, it makes them small. Help us both to have a good night’s sleep. In Jesus’ name, we pray, Amen.”
Roger patted the boy’s hand as he stood from the edge of the bed and made his way to the door. As he started to slip out, he heard Marcus say, “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome,” Roger said, paused, th
en added, “I’ll be in the living room if you need me for anything.”
All Roger wanted to do was settle in and watch some mindless TV, but his mind refused to stop focusing on all the swirling problems in his head.
The most pressing was the issue of what to do with Marcus while Roger made his appearance at Boswell Oil. He had managed to get out of showing up today by telling his father he had the flu. Roger knew he needed to present himself by Wednesday or there was a good chance his father would show up on his doorstep to drag him there. That would be a complete disaster if he found out about Marcus before Roger told him, and he had no idea how he was going to do that.
So how would Roger get to the office with Marcus staying with him? What did his friends do with their kids that weren’t in school yet? That was a stupid question; none of them had kids. Roger surrounded himself with playboys and social debutantes. Neither were on the kid track. Who could he ask? Though Bryce didn’t have kids, he might be able to help.
Quickly, he punched the icon for Bryce on his phone. On the second ring, his friend answered the phone.
“Hey, Roger, what’s up?”
“I need your help with something. It’s a pretty sticky situation, but I don’t know what to do,” Roger started.
“What did you do this time, Roger? I thought you were trying to clean up your act?” Bryce inquired, the disappointed exasperation in his voice clear.
“It’s my past coming back to haunt me, literally. I can’t run from this one,” he stated, following up by explaining the situation.
“Wow, Roger, that’s a lot you’ve got going on. What are you planning to do?”
“I don’t know. I have no idea what I’m doing—or what I’m going to do, for that matter.”
“Does Brianna have family that might want to help out?”
“I don’t think so. She was always a rather solitary person. I didn’t get much information from her friend either. She simply told me that Brianna was in jail and I needed to take Marcus. What if I hired a nanny? It would at least give me the time to check in with my dad and get some things done.”
“That would be a good idea, at least until you figure out what you’re going to do.”
“Do you have any idea where I would get a nanny?” Roger asked with utter lack of knowledge in the area.
“Hold on, let me ask Lana.”
Roger heard Bryce asking his fiancée and there was a conversation back and forth before he said over the phone, “Lana suggests you call Celeste. She used to work for a nanny agency and could point you in the right direction.”
“Thanks, Bryce, I owe you one.”
“You owe me like a hundred, but this one’s free,” his friend jested on the other end of the phone. “And if you need anything else, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Next, Roger called Celeste. She picked up and said with a surprised voice, “Hi, Roger, what are you calling for?”
He paused for a moment, then asked, “I heard from Lana via Bryce that you know of a good nanny agency in the city. I was wondering if you could give me the number and maybe put in a good word for me while you’re at it?”
“Sure, I can get you the number, but I only worked as a receptionist there for a short time. I really don’t have that kind of weight with the agency. They have a great reputation though.”
“Oh, okay,” Roger said, trying to disguise the distress in his voice. He had hoped that he would be able to get a top-notch nanny quickly. Getting things done fast and efficiently was all about having the right connections. If he had the extra edge of a referral, that might have nudged the agency into making his request a priority. If he simply cold-called them, how quickly would they get him a nanny? How good would she be?
“What’s wrong? Are you nervous about the interviews?”
“What interviews?” Roger asked with confusion.
“You have to interview potential candidates, Roger. The way it works is that they contact available nannies who fit what you need. Next, they set up an interview time, usually all on the same day, and then you pick one of the nannies.”
“Really? I had no idea the process was that complicated,” Roger confessed.
“Well, they are taking care of what most people would consider the most important thing in their lives; so it has to be.”
Did he view Marcus that way? He wasn’t sure how he felt about the boy. Up until recently, Roger considered him a monthly obligation, nothing more. Over the past two days, however, he had started to see the boy in a new light. Marcus was a person with feelings and needs, and it was now Roger’s responsibility to make sure he was taken care of properly.
“You’re right. This is a serious decision, but I’m not even sure I would know what to look for,” Roger admitted. “What exactly do I need in a nanny?”
“All of the candidates will qualify for the basics. They’ll all be dependable, first aid trained, and capable of taking care of Marcus. What you’ll need to look for is how each one interacts with you, and potentially Marcus. Would they be a good match for your family?”
Family. Roger had never been comfortable with the word, let alone used it when it came to Marcus. Was that what they were starting to become? Roger wasn’t sure, but what surprised him was that he didn’t entirely mind the idea of it.
“What if I mess up? What if I forget to ask something important?” Roger inquired, worried he wouldn’t conduct the interviews right.
“How about this, I can come by and help you with the interviews. Once you have the time, just call me and let me know when and where.”
“I’d really appreciate that. I don’t want to pick the wrong nanny. It’s important I make the right choice.”
After hanging up, a peace washed over Roger. He was finally able to relax for the first time since Marcus arrived at his front door. Maybe all of this would work out after all.
The first candidate arrived, and Celeste immediately liked her from her demeanor to her appearance. The woman, who looked to be in her mid-twenties, seemed down to earth and easy-going—exactly what Marcus would need to adjust to his new living situation. She answered the first set of questions (which Roger printed from the internet to be prepared) flawlessly.
“How flexible is your schedule, Miss Channing? Would you be available to adjust your schedule to accommodate mine?” Roger inquired.
The brown-haired woman nodded, causing her ponytail to shake up and down. “Please, call me Molly. As for my schedule, I have an extremely flexible one. I’m new to the area, so I don’t have a social life to speak of.”
“Are you willing to cook and do light housework?” Roger asked next.
She shrugged. “I don’t mind, but I have to be honest, I’m not sure how good I would be at any of it. My mom did most of that for me until I moved out a couple months ago.”
This drew a red-flag for Celeste. If she was indeed as old as she looked, how could she have gone so long without learning basic self-care practices?
“Are there any activities or responsibilities that you can’t or won’t do?” Roger followed up with, making Celeste realize he must have had the same concerns.
“I don’t like being outside, so I would need to stay indoors. I also wouldn’t want to do any type of schoolwork.”
The more this girl spoke, the odder she became. Something seemed off with her, but Celeste couldn’t quite figure out what was bothering her. She racked her brain, trying to pinpoint what was troubling her. “Is there a reason you have so many restrictions, Molly?”
The girl shifted in her seat, placing her hands under her legs, making it clear she was uncomfortable. She narrowed her eyes and she whispered, “Look, I can’t help that I was born with a sensitivity to the sun and couldn’t go to school. It doesn’t mean I can’t do the job of a nanny.”
“No one is arguing that point, Molly,” Roger stated, “but a boy needs to be able to go out and play. If you can’t take him to the park or the zoo, that’s not going to work for our situation. Thanks f
or your time,” he said, standing to his feet and gesturing towards the door.
He came back and shook his head. “She seemed like a good fit. I’m glad you picked up on that. I don’t know what would have happened if she insisted on keeping Marcus locked up in the apartment all day.”
Celeste let out a chuckle. “She would have quit really quick. Boys can’t be corralled like that.”
“You ready for the next one?” Roger inquired.
“Bring it on,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m curious to see who’s next.”
The second candidate arrived, and Celeste and Roger both greeted the woman with a smile.
The young auburn-haired woman returned it easily, but her eyes lingered on Roger in a way that made Celeste uncomfortable. She seemed to be sizing him up, glancing between Celeste and him and at both of their ring fingers when she thought they weren’t paying attention.
Celeste looked down at the resume and noticed the woman didn’t stay very long at any of her nanny jobs. She hadn’t been fired, but she didn’t stick around long either. Was she the type of predatory nanny that looked for handsome fathers who would make an easy target to seduce? Had she been biding her time with her previous families, moving from one job to the next until she found the right target? Celeste knew that type of nanny existed, as she overheard many of them talking at The Spot when they were off-duty. Celeste didn’t want Roger to fall victim to that type of trouble.
“How are you with dealing with a complicated family situation?” Roger probed.
“Oh, I’m good at adapting. My last family had a lot of issues, but I made a real effort to do whatever I could to make it less stressful. I stayed extra long hours when James’ mother was out with her friends and left James and his father alone.”
Celeste bet she did. That statement made Celeste wonder if her suspicions were right. Did this girl have a crush on her last employer?
“What were some of the best things about your previous job?” Roger inquired, looking down at a list of questions.