Faith stood, and the skirt of her dress flowed in the breeze and showed off her legs. She pushed it down. “I’ll be back. I need to go inside for a bit.” She grabbed her sandals and shook the sand out of them as she walked away.
I watched her for a bit to make sure she was out of earshot. Then I stood and looked at Jake. “I’d lay off the drinks for a bit before you get your ass kicked.”
“Really? Who’s going to kick it? You? What’s the big deal? They know how we are. I don’t know why you’re so pissed off.”
I glared at him. “Just cool it, okay?”
Putting his hands up, he said, “Sure, man, whatever you say.”
Faith was no longer in sight. I decided to go check on her. “I’ll be back.”
Being the friend he was, Max chimed in, “Be careful, Ry.”
Looking back at him, I nodded. There was something about Faith… After witnessing her dream that morning, my dick has been thinking about her all day. There was something about the way she’d called out my name. Whether she was asleep or not didn’t matter. She did it, and I’d loved it. The need to hear it again consumed me.
The sand under my feet reminded me where we were, and my heart ached. I walked up the dimly lit steps, across the wooden planks, and saw Faith on the deck swing. She looked totally lost in thought.
Moving toward her, I studied her. She was beautiful, but her heart was what made her who she was. “Can I sit with you?”
“Sure.” Never looking at me, she stopped the slow movement of the swing with her foot.
I sat down. “Are you okay?”
She looked at me. “Yes. I just needed to make a call.”
“Who?” Please don’t say who I think you’re going to.
“What?”
“Who did you have to call?”
“Erik. He texted me earlier, and I decided to come up here and call him instead.”
Disappointment. That was what I felt. “Oh. How’s he feeling?”
She gave me a look of surprise. “You really want to know?”
Stretching my arms along the back of the swing, I said, “Yeah, sure.”
“He’s fine.”
“Why do you look so sad?” That I needed to hear. I didn’t know why, but I did.
She shrugged and stared at the water, which was getting rougher. “I don’t think you’re the right person to confide in.”
“Why? We’re friends, aren’t we?”
Looking at me, she said, “That’s what you say, but I don’t know. I guess maybe we are.”
“Faith, look, the guys were just being the guys if that’s what’s bothering you.”
“It isn’t. I know how you all are. That wasn’t anything new or anything I hadn’t heard before. Believe me, Max has told me about his conquests. I get how it works.” Very softly, she said, “They’re all the same.”
I knew she hadn’t meant for me to hear that, but I did. “Who’s the same?”
“Never mind. It doesn’t matter.” Faith stood and walked into the house. I was going to follow her, but she came back out with two beers. “Want one?”
“Yeah.”
She handed me the bottle, and the cap was already off. The tip of her bottle met her mouth, and I watched her lips wrap around it. The breeze blew her hair as she looked out toward the water.
“You can go back to the fire. I’m fine.” Faith walked down the steps.
I needed to know, so I asked, “Where are you going?”
“To walk along the water.”
Looking at the waves, which appeared to be crashing against the shoreline, I didn’t think that was the best idea. Then I had an even worse idea. “Can I go with you?”
“Do what you want.” She was so stoic.
That threw me off. Faith took off her shoes and left them on the deck. I hopped over the railing to catch up to her. The pace she kept was out of pure determination to get to the water.
“What’s the hurry?” I didn’t want to go any farther.
We were already out of our friends’ sightline, and aside from the few houseboats that were faintly lit and rocking with the waves, we were the only ones out there. She stopped just shy of where the tide was rolling in, bent over, and set her beer bottle in the sand. Leaning her head back, she inhaled deeply, making her breasts swell. I had to tear my eyes away.
Her lips curled, and she looked at peace. “It’s wonderful, isn’t it?”
Looking up and then back at her, I didn’t know what she was referring to. “What is?”
“Everything. Haven’t you ever closed your eyes and taken in all that’s around you?” She looked at me, and her eyes made me wonder about her.
“What’s there to take in?”
She snickered. “Are you kidding me? What’s wrong with you? Do something for me.”
Starting to get nervous, and I never got nervous, I said, “What?”
“Close your eyes.”
I looked at her. “No, I’m good. I get it. We’re surrounded by nature. I close my eyes, and you’ll probably push me in the lake.”
Laughing, she said, “I will not. Just do it.”
Letting out a huff, I closed my eyes. “Okay, they’re closed.” I crossed my arms and waited.
I felt her hands on my forearms, gently uncrossing them. She turned my palms out and slightly raised my arms. Before I knew it, she was behind me with her hands on my back, as if to steady me. If I fell backward, we’d both fall, but I wasn’t about to tell her to move. It felt nice; she felt nice.
“Just listen.”Her voice was soothing and sexy.
Silence. All I heard was silence. Then I heard the water, and my eyes sprung open. “Yeah, that was great. Can we go now?”
“Where? Why? You haven’t even given it a chance.”
“Back to our friends. I’m sure Max is ready to send out a search party for you.”
Nodding with a look of all-knowing disappointment, she said, “You’re probably right.” She grabbed her beer. “Let’s go.”
“Wow! Did you just say I was right about something? Should I write this date down?” I laughed, and she pushed me, making me stumble.
Thanks to the sand, I had zero traction. She grabbed my arm, and we both landed in the sand, spilling her beer on my shorts.
“Ow. Why the hell did you push me?”
“Why do you always have to be an ass?” Realizing she was lying half on top of me, she went to get up.
I held her in place. “Faith?”
Her eyes went soft. “What?”
“You’re lying on my stick, and now thanks to you, my pants are wet.”
She looked down, and her face turned red.
I chuckled. “Not that stick. Wow, you have a dirty mind.”
She shoved off me. “See? Ass!”
I reached into my pocket, pulled out a drumstick keychain, and held it up. “This stick was digging into my hip, and because of your violent mood, you spilled your beer on my shorts. Geez, Faith.” The corner of my lips fought the urge to curl in amusement. Anytime Faith was riled up I was turned on. No, that isn’t true, she always turned me on.
I jogged away from her. Knowing how she was, I was sure she wasn’t far behind me. Thankfully we made it back to the group unscathed.
Max was strumming his guitar. “There you are. Everything okay?”
Faith answered, “Yup.”
I huffed, and in pure over-dramatic exasperation, I said, “No. I was being nice and keeping Faith company when she laid on my stick and made my shorts all wet.”
Everyone laughed except for Max. “Do I want to know what that means?”
Chuckling, I said, “Probably not.”
Faith stood next to the fire. “It means that Mister Graceful over there was going to fall. I tried to help him, and I ended up falling and spilling my beer on him.”
“Oh. I wasn’t sure what the hell you were talking about.” Max gave me a stare.
I shook my head. “Trust me, that’s all it could have be
en.” I knew that statement wasn’t true. My feelings for her were getting stronger, and I needed to tamp that shit down. I didn’t care how much it hurt.
Suddenly, my face got wet. We all looked toward the sky, and a flash of lightning cruised across the sky. Max grabbed his guitar and covered it with the blanket we had been sitting on while the rest of us grabbed what we could and ran back to the house.
The smell of the rain mixed with the lake breeze exhilarated me. I absolutely loved being in nature, and the lake home was the perfect setting. We were standing around in the kitchen when my phone dinged. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket to see that Erik had texted me.
Erik: I know we just spoke, but I wanted to tell you that I want to take you out.
Me: Okay.
Erik: How about Monday night to celebrate your job?
Me: Sounds wonderful.
Erik: Cool.
I set the phone on the counter and turned to see everyone was looking at me. “What?”
Tyf said, “You look happy.”
I smiled. “I guess I am.”
Max grabbed Tyf around the waist, making her squeal. “Come on, babe. I need you.” He said bye and took her upstairs.
Thunder roared, and the sky lit up with lightning. It was beautiful. I walked over to the sliding glass door, stepped outside, and leaned on the railing under the awning. In no time at all, Ryker was beside me.
I looked over at him. “Pretty cool, isn’t it?”
Michael walked out. “I should have brought a chick with me. They like being held in wicked storms.”
I half listened to him. Guys had no clue what some women wanted. I stretched out my hand, but the rain was stopping. Droplets fell off the awning and splashed on the deck.
Apparently Michael didn’t want to let it go. “Let’s go down to the bar around the corner, we have a couple hours before last call.”
I wondered if everyone else would go. No, that’s not true. I wondered if Ryker would go. I was an idiot. I’d just made a date with Erik, and I was worried about Ryker. I was turning into them.
Other than Ryker, the guys were in agreement. They told us if we changed our minds to meet them there, and they all left. To say I was surprised he didn’t go with them would be an understatement. To say I was sad he stayed behind would be a lie.
I stepped out from under the awning. The rain had made the night air extremely humid, and my skin glistened. I rubbed my arms and smelled the coconut from the after-sun lotion I’d rubbed on. Ryker looked beyond gorgeous. His hair was wet and starting to curl. All I wanted to do was run my hand through it.
I needed to get away from him for a bit. “I’m going for a walk. I love the beach after a storm—you never know what the tide brought in. There could be some cool shells and stuff. I’ll catch ya later.” I left my shoes at the house and walked away.
The sand was more like mud after all the rain, and I left footprints in it as I scoured the ground. Something stabbed my foot. I looked down and noticed a piece of green glass, the most likely culprit. I lifted my foot to look at it, and I lost my balance. As I fell, an arm came around my waist to steady me. I saw his tattoo and knew it was Ryker.
He huffed. “You okay, Dude?”
“Fine.” I’d never been so klutzy before. Maybe I drank more than I should have. I walked away without putting any pressure on my wounded foot. I looked back at him. “Why didn’t you go with the guys?”
Looking all sexy and sounding even better, he replied, “I thought I’d stay here and bug you.”
That stopped me in my tracks. “Ryker, I want to have a good time while I’m here. I start my job on Monday, and I just want to relax. Can we not do this?”
“Do what, Dude? And from what I heard upstairs earlier, you’ve already had a good time.”
A chill ran up my spine. I couldn’t pretend he hadn’t heard or seen what I said and did in my sleep, so I decided to own it, really own it. “First of all, don’t call me Dude. Secondly, do you want to know what I dreamt of?”
He gave me a crooked smile. “Do you want to tell me?”
“No, but I know you won’t let it go, so I will. I’m sure your ego doesn’t need this, but you want to know if I had a dream about you? Yeah, I did. I had a dream that you were touching me, and I even had an orgasm thinking about you.” I didn’t mean to tell him that last part. I felt as though I was going to be sick.
His eyes glassed over. “I’m glad you had that dream.”
“You are?” Hope, that’s what I felt. Maybe our time had come. All of a sudden, I was filled with happiness and the hope that he wanted the same thing.
“Yeah, I am. Because it won’t ever happen. So I’m glad you got pleasure out of a dream.”
Shattered… again.
Holding back frustrated tears and trying to keep my voice stable, I said, “You’re an asshole, you know that?”
“Yeah, I do. I’ve been telling you that, but you don’t want to believe me.”
I did my best not to blink for fear that large drops would escape. My heart ached, and my head spun. Why did I blurt that out? I was the stupid one, not Ryker. Did I honestly think he would say, “Let me make your dream come true”? The wind blew my hair back, and as I turned my head, my eyes caught his. He looked too self-satisfied. I listened to the water and tried to think of something to say.
Knowing he hated the water and wouldn’t follow me, I inched toward it and turned toward him. When I was a safe distance away from him and could only faintly see him in the moonlight, I said, “Am I that wretched?”
“What?” He stepped closer, making my heart beat increase and my nerves come to life.
Tossing my arms out, I prayed my voice wouldn’t crack. “I said, am I that wretched?”
His head lowered, and he took another step forward. “No, you’re not. I’m not good enough for you. We’re not good together. So like I said before, I’m glad you had that dream. I’m happy we had that moment, even though I wasn’t really there.”
I shook my head. “Why, Ryker? Tell me why you aren’t good enough, why we wouldn’t be good together. You can trust me.”
“No.”
“Fine, let me guess then.” I brought my hand to my chin and tried to look deep in thought. “Is it because you don’t like me as a person?”
He crossed his arms and glared at me. “No, I do like you. That’s the problem.”
“Hmm… well that doesn’t make sense. If you like me, then there has to be some plausible reason why you don’t want to be with me.”
He ran his hands through his hair and rested them on the nape of his neck. His muscles became taut. “Please, Faith, just drop it.”
No way was I letting the moment pass. In too many instances lately had my head and heart been screwed with, and I was done. “Am I too ugly? Too short?”
“Knock it off, Faith.” His voice got sharper.
“Is it because I’m a virgin?” Please don’t let that be it.
“No. I told you, it’s me. Just fucking drop it. Why don’t you call Erik and get together with him? Or that guy Robbie.”
“You want me to get together with Erik? I can do that, ya know. He texted to tell me he wanted to take me out on Monday. And my friend’s name is Bobby. Now stop being a jerk and answer my question.”
“No. Do yourself a favor and go out with Erik.”
My blood was boiling from the anger building in me. “Fine. I will if you tell me why you don’t want me.”
“No.” His voice was calm, yet stern.
I asked again, “Do you like me?”
He nodded. “Yeah. At this moment, I’m not sure why, but yeah.”
“Then tell me?” A lone tear streamed down my cheek.
“I can’t.”
I shouldn’t have, but I lost it. “Just say it. Tell me that I’m the one who isn’t good enough for you. Go ahead and tell me that’s the reason. For once in your life, tell me the truth and stop playing games.”
He became agitat
ed. “Nope, not going to do it. I don’t want to lie to you. Can’t you just believe me when I say it isn’t you? God, Faith, you’re impossible. I don’t understand you.”
“I’m impossible? Me? You kissed me but don’t want me, and I’m hard to understand?” I stepped toward him and looked in his eyes. “Tell me.”
“Don’t push me.” His voice became sharp, and his eyes turned into heated slits.
It became brighter out. I looked at the moon. The shifting clouds cast the perfect light on his hazel eyes. I inhaled and calmly said, “Why? All I need to know is why. Go ahead and say it’s because I’m a virgin and you don’t want me. Tell me I’m ugly. Just say it. Come on, I am giving you an out here. Tell me, and I’ll leave you alone.” I was sure I was having an out-of-body experience.
“Because I killed my little brother! That’s why! You wanted a reason why we can’t be together? Now you have it. I lose everyone I care about, everyone I love, and I can’t lose you!” Tears streamed down his cheeks.
I raised my hand to wipe away his tears, and he jerked back. My body shook. I was sure I’d heard him wrong. The pull between us was compelling. That couldn’t be my imagination. My need to be with him was overwhelming.
“Just leave me the fuck alone.” His voice was as harsh as I’d ever heard it.
I watched him storm away. My heart broke for him. My mind spun. I felt as if I’d had just lost the best thing I never had. I stood there in shock as his words played over and over in my head. “I killed my brother… I can’t lose you… I killed my brother.”
Wind blew, pulling me back into the present. My mind raced. I looked at where he had been walking and saw his footprints in the now-cold sand. I saw him ahead of me, and the need to help him overwhelmed me.
“Ryker, please stop!”
But he kept walking. I didn’t care that my foot was hurt. The only pain I felt was in my soul. The thought of him killing anyone was absurd. There had to be more to the story. My mind raced through scenarios, but nothing made sense. I didn’t even know he had a brother. The wind was picking up, and the moon was blanketed by a cloud again. I could barely see him anymore. I was scared he was going to do something stupid.
Then he was gone. I squinted and couldn’t see anything. I stopped and yelled out his name over and over, but I didn’t get an answer. I fell, dropped my head in my hands, and sobbed. Why had I pressed him? I should have let it go.
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