I stare at her in horror. What is she thinking?
‘We’ll put him with the others.’
81
As Tom pushed open the front door to his home, he could hear laughter coming from the kitchen and recognised his daughter’s giggle.
He threw his keys into the bowl on the hall table and was heading towards the kitchen when the door flew open and Lucy came charging through, throwing herself at him.
‘Dad!’
She didn’t say any more and hugged him as tightly as he was hugging her. He’d missed her so much.
Eventually her hold slackened, and she grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the kitchen.
‘Sorry, Dad, I can’t bear to be away from Harry for another moment. He’s so cute! He laughs every time he looks at me!’
‘Well, who can blame him,’ Tom said, and Lucy punched him lightly on the arm.
Harry was indeed laughing, and so were Kate and Louisa.
‘I think you’ll find you’re no longer the top man in our daughter’s life, Tom,’ Kate said by way of greeting. But she was smiling, and that was something.
‘Good to see you, Kate,’ he said. He hadn’t been sure if she would be suffering from the pain of a broken relationship, but she seemed fine.
‘It’s actually, and surprisingly, good to be back. Australia was an experience, an episode, and entertaining in its own way,’ she said with a shrug.
Tom resisted the temptation to say that not only had Kate’s ‘experience’ cost her a small fortune, she had also dragged Lucy to the other side of the world for six months, disrupting her life and education, although she didn’t look as if she’d come to any harm.
‘What’s the plan for this evening?’ he asked, not knowing if his ex-wife and daughter were about to get up and leave.
‘Kate and Lucy are staying to eat with us, Tom, and after Harry’s in bed we thought we could have a chat about what they’re going to do next.’
Tom smiled. He knew a fait accompli when he saw one, and as he looked at his family – his extended family, if he included Kate – he had the feeling it was going to be an expensive evening.
‘I’ll tell you all now, before you ask, that I’m not going to Scotland,’ Lucy said, turning briefly away from her baby brother. ‘I’m not leaving this little one – are you listening, Mum?’
Tom waited, expecting fireworks. But to his surprise there weren’t any.
‘We’ll talk later, Lucy. But noted.’
Tom risked a look at Louisa, who winked. He guessed she’d been talking to Kate about how great it would be for Harry to see more of Lucy, and Kate would think she was doing everyone a favour. At a cost, of course.
He had never had much regard for money, and it was without doubt the least important factor in this equation. If it meant spending more time with Lucy, whatever the price was, it would be worth it.
As he had witnessed this week, the pursuit of wealth could tear families apart, and Tom had to grudgingly admit that, despite the moments of friction he and Kate shared, she was a good mother.
As far as Tom was concerned, he had his daughter back. That was all that mattered.
Monday
82
MARTHA
I stand by the gates of Lakeside, looking at my old home, my prison for so many years. I can’t go in – the house and grounds are now a crime scene as the police search for remains. Dad and I have spent two days being interviewed, and the police seem to have accepted our version of events, but I still feel knocked sideways by what happened. If it wasn’t for the bruises on my back, I would think I had dreamed the whole thing.
When Mum had said we could put Aram’s body with ‘the others’ I didn’t speak. I couldn’t find any words.
‘We’ll bury him with the others,’ she repeated. ‘The ones who had to die. The ones like Leah, who threatened our wonderful life. They were disloyal. They were going to betray Aram and ruin all the amazing work he was doing. The loss of a few for the benefit of many. You understand, DeeDee, don’t you?’
I didn’t, and I still don’t.
‘Why do you think everyone had to leave at night? You must have known,’ she said.
Had I known what really happened to those who supposedly left Lakeside? No, I hadn’t. Aram told me more than once that sometimes people deserve to die, but I had never thought – until Leah – that he would kill. Did Dad know? The shock on his face when he learned what had happened could never have been faked.
Moments after Mum told me about the others, buried in the soft boggy soil near the river, she had fallen on the floor next to Aram and cradled his head in her lap, rocking to and fro, pleading for his forgiveness.
I had turned away, picked up the phone and called the police.
Dad is distraught, but I asked him to take care of Alfie today in the hope that entertaining his grandson will take his mind off the horror of the last sixteen years, and they’ve gone to the seaside. It’s going to take a long time for him to heal, but Alfie and I will do our best. And tomorrow we’re going to see a solicitor, to make sure that my money is kept safe for Alfie, should anything happen to me.
Now, though, I have to be here – as close as I can get – to say goodbye to Leah and, I suppose, to Mum. Whether she will go to prison or end up in psychiatric care, we don’t know. There’s a long way to go. I try to pretend to myself that she killed Aram to save me, but I know that’s not true. He shattered her into a thousand pieces, just like the glass orb he used to roll between his fingers. But she called me DeeDee, and I cling to that memory, desperate to believe that for one last moment, she was my mother.
I had to admit to the police that I knew about Leah’s death all those years ago. The threat that Aram held over me, added to his plan to murder me as soon as the trust paid out, will apparently go a long way towards a lenient sentence. I understand now why Mum said he would never have used his fake evidence against me. He couldn’t expose me to the police; they would have dug up the grounds to search for Leah and found so much more. They know that I’ve been hiding myself away for years, and now they understand why. That’s another point in my favour.
From my position by the gates I can’t see much. I hear the occasional bark of a dog, and I can see figures in white coveralls milling around in the distance. They’ve erected individual tents along the river bank – I count six already. I don’t know how many more there will be.
It’s time to go, and I turn my back and walk towards the hire car. I’ll never come here again. I climb into the driver’s seat and close my eyes. I’m suddenly transported back in time. I’m in a car that smells of new leather. Mum and Dad are in the front seats, excited about our new life.
‘Everything will be different now, DeeDee. You’ll see,’ Mum said.
She wasn’t wrong.
***
If you enjoyed this book by Rachel Abbott, click here to discover more from this author.
Author’s note
A Note about Cults
Before writing this book, I read endless articles on cult activities, and was truly shocked by some of the practices.
It’s hard to believe that a mother will turn against her own child, as Nicola does, but I have read reports of a mother of twins – not yet one year old – being instructed to kick the children away from her when they were clinging tightly to her skirt. She resisted, but ultimately obeyed, even though she said it violated her sense of being a mother or even a human being. She did it because it was expected, and the punishment would have been harder to bear.
In other cases, children under five have been removed from their mother’s care – sometimes for months, sometimes for years – for fear that their bond is stronger than that with the leader.
Some readers may struggle to understand how people become so weakened by the control that is exerted over them, but one ex-cult member describes giving in to pressure as a relief, because it resolves the conflict and may result in being loved, if only briefly, by the lead
er.
It’s easy to think, ‘it would never happen to me,’ but few people make a conscious decision to join a cult. As one journalist says, “Cults are beautifully packaged to look like something quite different from the outside1.” You might also assume that all cult members are weak, or perhaps lacking the intelligence to see what is happening to them. That is a myth. The majority of people recruited into cults are normal and healthy, with average or above average intelligence, from economically stable backgrounds. Nevertheless, they become “unwitting victims of deception and subtle techniques of psychological manipulation.2” These techniques include humiliation, food and sleep deprivation, repudiation of values, rejection of previous relationships. The list goes on.
It’s not unusual for one partner in a relationship to become more committed to the cult than another, as reported by an ex-cult member: “My dad didn’t really fit the mould… but eventually his ‘ego’ was broken.” Unconverted partners are often left behind if they don’t buy into the ideology. The leader always has to come first.
There are many cults throughout the world. Some are large, with thousands of members who go about their daily lives as normal, but whose allegiance – and often money – belongs to the cult. Others are small – maybe just one household in which the leader’s word is law and no one can question their thoughts, decisions or behaviour.
Most people think of cults as organisations with their roots in religion, but therapy cults, often based on self-improvement programmes, are becoming a major threat. Recruitment might take place at a management training seminar or a yoga retreat, but however a person is recruited, once in, escape can be painful.
If you, a friend, or a family member have been affected in any way by cult activity, help is available. There is a plethora of advice online, but one article that I found particularly interesting in identifying cult behaviour, can be found here: https://www.oprahmag.com/life/relationships-love/a33648485/signs-of-a-cult/
If you feel that you need support, there is an organisation in the UK that has been set up by a former cult member. This article is particularly revealing - https://cultinformation.org.uk/article_caring-for-cult-victims.html and they do take calls, if people need more direct help. They also have a useful list of links to international organisations in their HELP section.
1 www.insider.com
2 Cult Information Centre
A letter to my readers
Dear Reader
Thank you so much for taking the time to read Close Your Eyes. I thoroughly enjoyed researching and writing this book and do hope you enjoyed reading it.
The inspiration for the book started with two separate ideas: how would it feel to be suspected of murder, and what would it be like to be brought up in a cult? From the start I could feel the threads twisting around each other as Martha’s past defined her behaviour after Genevieve is murdered.
As you will see if you have read my note about cults, I found it disturbing to consider how many people have had their lives destroyed in this way. It was a difficult balance to ensure that Aram’s teaching made sense, while at the same time creating a chilling character. He condemns jealousy, envy and greed, which as an ethos is difficult to fault, so the focus had to be on the practices he employs to control those in his community. I hope I managed to convey this effectively.
I do love to hear from readers, and one of the best ways of keeping in touch is via my special Facebook group – Rachel Abbott’s Partners in Crime. It’s a place where readers can chat about everything thriller related and discuss books they have enjoyed from a wide range of authors. I know that many of you base your reading choices on recommendations from other group members, and I am delighted that it is such a success. If you haven’t joined in yet, you can find it by clicking here.
I send regular newsletters, so that I can share some of my own favourite reads and let you know when I’m going to be out and about, although of course the horror of Covid made 2020 a very different year, with all appearances being online. Whatever the means, it’s always great to ‘meet’ people who have read my books and to have an opportunity to answer any questions. I also use the newsletter to let people know when any of my books are on special offer, so if you’ve not already signed up and would like to do so, click here to join my list.
And of course there is always social media – currently I’m on Facebook and Twitter. I am trying harder with Instagram, but there are only so many hours in a day!
I’m now settling down to write the next in my Stephanie King series – the books that I have set in beautiful Cornwall. And So It Begins was the first in the series, and the second book – The Murder Game (called The Invitation in the US) – was published in April 2020. I’m hoping to announce the next in the series very soon.
Of course, I always love to hear from readers, and I would be delighted to hear if you enjoyed Close Your Eyes, so feel free to tweet me or leave me a message on Facebook. And one very special request – if you have enjoyed this book, I would be thrilled if you would leave a review on Amazon. Every author loves getting reviews, and I’m no exception. And of course, it helps other readers to find my books.
Thanks again for taking the time to read Close Your Eyes.
Best wishes,
Rachel
Acknowledgments
2020 has been a difficult and challenging year for everyone, and I will be forever in awe of the thousands of people who have worked hard to keep us all as safe as possible, struggling through these testing times to take care of those who have suffered illness or loneliness.
As a writer, I am used to working alone, so the last twelve months have probably impacted on me far less than most. But I do recognise that I need help from others to produce the best book I can, and I’m lucky to have found so many people who are prepared to offer their help, advice and support during the writing process. The early stages of a new novel are always fraught with concerns about accuracy, and as always, I have to thank my police adviser, Mark Gray, for his input. Any mistakes with regard to the workings of the police are entirely my own.
During lockdown it was of course impossible for me to go and recce the scene of the crime that opens the book. I could see pictures online, and I had a map – but it’s not the same as being there. Once again, my sister and brother-in-law, Judith and Dave Hall, were my eyes and ears. They took their daily one hour of exercise by visiting the Tyldesley Loopline, which is fortunately close to where they live, taking endless photographs and describing to me everything from the species of trees to the birdsong.
Other help came from Ian Stacey, Lesley Chapman and Virtual UK Office Services, each of whom gave advice on their own specialities – everything from WiFi password storage to property trusts!
Writing and publishing books is much more of a team effort than people often realise, and I have the best team there is! My good friend and PA, Tish McPhilemy, not only deals with many of the day-to-day tasks of running an office, she also brings her own brand of joy with her, and the days in my old gunpowder shelter – yes, that’s my office – wouldn’t be the same without her. She was sorely missed during the early period of isolation, but thankfully is back with me now.
I am forever grateful for the fact that Lizzy Kremer of David Higham Associates became my agent nearly nine years ago. She’s the best, as is the entire team at DHA. Maddalena Cavaciuti deserves a special mention for both her wide-ranging abilities and her efficiency. Thanks also to Alice Howe and the foreign rights team for doing such an amazing job of finding publishers for my books all over the world.
Editing is a crucial factor in making any book as good as it can be, and I must again thank both Lizzy and Maddalena for their incredible insight into the structure and pace of this novel, and Hugh Davis and Jessica Read for their parts in polishing the final manuscript.
I’m lucky to have some wonderfully loyal readers, and I am overwhelmed by their fantastic support. Thank you all for not only reading my books, but for reviewing th
em, talking about them to your friends, and for joining me online whenever the opportunity arises. You are the best!
A shout out to all the book bloggers too. I honestly don’t know where writers would be without you. So many of you work hard to get the word out about new books, and it’s impossible to over-estimate the help you offer to the writing community.
Finally, as always a huge thanks to my husband John. Anyone who lives with a writer will understand that we spend huge swathes of time locked into another world – and sometimes it’s the only thing we want to talk about. It requires a special kind of person to keep smiling throughout!
About the Author
RACHEL ABBOTT was born and raised in Manchester. She trained as a systems analyst before launching her own interactive media company in the early 1980s. After selling her company in 2000, she moved to the Le Marche region of Italy.
When six-foot snowdrifts prevented her from leaving the house for a couple of weeks, she started writing and found she couldn’t stop. Since then her debut thriller, Only the Innocent, has become an international bestseller, reaching number one in the Amazon charts both in the UK and US. This was followed by the number-one bestselling novels The Back Road, Sleep Tight, Stranger Child, Kill Me Again, The Sixth Window, Come a Little Closer, The Shape of Lies, Right Behind You, plus a novella, Nowhere Child, which was top of the Kindle Singles chart in the UK for over two years. She has now sold over four million books in the English language, and her books have been translated into over twenty languages.
In 2015 Amazon celebrated the first five years of the Kindle in the UK and announced that Rachel was its number-one bestselling independent author over this period. She was also placed fourteenth in the chart of all authors.
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