I mean, he killed him anyway, but that’s not the point.
See, my father eventually found out what John had done – ; stolen his girlfriend for himself, and plotted to leave Los Angeles with Juliette and me in tow.
You don’t try to take a son from Dornan Ross and survive.
My father delivered the first bullet to John himself, before he forced me to finish him off. After that, I’d spent the next three years of my life underground in a tiny cell, chained to a wall and forced to watch the video, on an endless loop, of my father and brothers raping, torturing, and beating the only girl I’d ever loved as a club whore knelt between my legs and sucked my cock.
For the first month of this, I didn’t even get an erection; the horror was still so fresh. Whatever slutty girl they’d send in would spend hours sucking away at me like a leech, and I’d stare at the TV screen in front of me, willing myself to die.
By the end of the first month, I was getting hard. After three months, I was coming in whatever mouth was sucking me as I stared blankly at the horrors unfolding in front of me in black and white.
After six months, I wasn’t chained anymore. I was still locked in my cell, but shit was different. The things I did to those girls. I don’t even want to think about how much I enjoyed their cries of pain as I shoved them face-down into the concrete fucking floor, making them bleed from busted lips and smashed noses. Some would leave, bloody and scratched from the force of my hand shoving their faces into the hard floor. I would sink my teeth into their flesh while I fucked them as hard and as rough as I could. I no longer cared about whether they hurt or not. At least they got to leave afterwards, with their torn panties in their hands and their lipstick still on my cock. Fucking the girls my father gifted me in my chamber of horrors was the only thing I had to look forward to in my solitary existence, and watching that torturous video became so routine, I almost looked forward to the release it would bring while I sank my dick inside them.
I know. I was a sick fuck, and I still am, but I’ll never tell Juliette what happened down there. I’ll fucking die before I utter a word of those three years of hell to her.
*****
There’s something to be said about a person who’s been put in hell and doesn’t lose themselves.
But what if you find yourself there instead?
Growing up, I always knew I was different. The things in my mind weren’t the same things that existed in others, and I knew this. My mom never told me anything about my father, other than to run for my goddamn life if he ever showed up. The way she said it scared the living shit out of me, and I never asked about him again.
I was about twelve when I figured out who he was. He scared me. I didn’t want him to find us.
He did anyway.
*****
My oldest brother, Chad, tasked himself with schooling me in the realities of fucking, after my father grew tired of the job. I’d become compliant, abusing each girl he sent into my cell worse than the last until he stopped sending them altogether. That made me mad. He’d gotten me addicted to them, and then took them away—my only form of release—, so I ended up like a fucking pervert, jerking off in the dark to a video that showed the rape of a dead girl I used to love.
My brother didn’t want to fuck me, thank God—it wasn’t like that—but he was a perverted bastard who wanted me to be one, too, just like him. He couldn’t understand how I couldn’t do to Juliette what he did to her after watching how I’d treated the whores my father sent to me. He knew I’d hurt every single girl my father sent down to my cell, but it was different. I wasn’t raping anyone. Dear old Dad was paying them to come fuck me, so I had no problem making them work for their money … and then some. He was fucking with me, and I was fucking his whores right back.
So one day, my brother introduced me to a different girl;a girl who I wasn’t allowed to fuck. A girl I was supposed to respect. I wanted to fuck her, of course. I wanted to force her to her knees and squeeze her cheeks until she opened her mouth and took my cock all the way down her throat until she gagged. I wanted to hold her against the wall and choke her while I fucked her.
I was turning into my father, and I didn’t even care.
She was skinny, pale, with reddish hair that hung limply around her long face. Waifish was the word you’d use to describe her, but after weeks of no girls to take care of my needs, all I saw was an empty vessel to stick my dick in.
She actually stuck her hand out to shake mine, and I recoiled. Chad snickered.
“He doesn’t get out much,” he supplied helpfully. I glowered at him. The girl shrugged, apparently unperturbed by my lack of social skills.
“You can call me Rails,” she said.
Chad snorted. “Because you’re built like a fuckin’ rail? Take some of your whorin’ money and buy yourself a push-up bra, for Christ’s sake. You look like you’re twelve.” She rolled her eyes at him and I felt a smile twitch at my lip, but I didn’t dare show it. This girl was rolling her eyes at crazy Chad, and suddenly, I didn’t want to just fuck her, I wanted to know her.
After that, Rails was the only girl I’d touch. I didn’t fuck her—I refused to fuck her. I did just about everything else with her, though. She sucked cock like a pro. And while I didn’t love her, I came to rely on her … even need her. She visited me every week. Sometimes, she’d even bring a friend, and I’d have no trouble fucking them, but I could never bring myself to have sex with Raelene.
It was almost as if she reminded me of a girl I used to love.
*****
“Fuck me,” Rails whispered. “Fuck me and they’ll let you leave. It’s your birthday today and it’s warm outside. Don’t you want to feel the sun on your face?”
I let out a whoosh of air, hot water pricking at my eyelids. I hadn’t cried in years, not since Juliette. But for some reason, the tender concern in Raelene’s voice made me want to scream. I’d been holding off her suggestions and advances for so long, I couldn’t bear the thought of poisoning her with my sick brand of fun that made women scream.
“I can’t,” I whispered. “You’re too good for me. I’ll hurt you, Rails.”
“Put your hand on my neck,” she whispered. I swallowed thickly.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” I protested. She shook her head, a wan smile on her lips.
“You won’t hurt me,” she replied, straddling my hips, my cock already leaking with pre-cum as I thought about slamming her down on me until her eyes rolled back in her head and she begged me to stop. The thought caused a hot blade of shame to stab into my gut and twist painfully.
Why did I want to make her cry? What the fuck was wrong with me?
Maybe I could be softer with her. Maybe I wouldn’t have to hurt her. She was the first human being I’d cared about in any way since Juliette had been ripped from my arms and brutalized by first Chad, then the rest of my fucked -up brothers, before my father swooped in and finished the job.
“Just tell me,” I whispered. “How long have I been in here?”
“A little over three years,” she whispered back. She rocked her hips against me and I struggled with the desire to impale her with my rock-hard erection. God, I wanted to fuck her. I wanted more release than I could get from her hands, or her mouth. I could be good to her, couldn’t I? I didn’t have to hurt her to satisfy myself. As it was, it’d been so long since I sank into a wet, warm pussy, I was about to come just from the friction of her cotton-covered pussy rubbing along my cock.
She’d already unbuckled my pants and had me in her hands, under the pretense of blowing me when she’d seemed to change her mind, crawling onto my lap instead. “I want you inside me.”
“I can’t,” I protested.
“Let me do it for you,” she said, lifting her hips and lining her pussy up with my cock. Just the feeling of the tip at her entrance made me want to flip her over and punish her with a good, hard fucking. I fisted the sheets and squeezed hard enough that I heard my joints pop.
/> “Jesus, fuck…” I groaned as her hot, slick pussy slid down my cock. She was so tight, it was bordering on painful. She let out a little gasp as I filled her completely, and started to rock against me. I pushed harder into her and she winced in pain, her pupils big and round. I was hurting her, and I had barely moved inside her. I looked down to where our bodies met and saw blood. “What the … you’re a virgin?” Shame rushed through me as I saw her swollen pussy lips stretched around my dick, painted red with her blood. I’d just taken her virginity in a filthy room in a corner of my grandfather’s dank drug compound.
Her cheeks reddened. “It doesn’t matter,” she said, her breath straining around my hands on her neck. “It’s no big deal.” I let my hands fall from her neck to my sides, letting my head fall back onto the pillow.
She’d tricked me. She’d presented herself as some kind of whore, and it turned out she was a fucking virgin? This had to be Chad’s handiwork.
“Get off me,” I said, my voice monotone.
“Jason—”
“Get. Off. Me. Now!”
I thought of Juliette. I always thought of Juliette and how she’d been a virgin until they’d defiled her. I looked up at Rails, her hair hanging like a curtain around our faces; like we were the only two people in the world. “Tell me you love me,” she whimpered, guiding my hands to her clit. I stilled beneath her, confused. “You don’t have to mean it,” she said as she began bouncing herself up and down.
So fucking tight.
“Just say it. I need it. Please. Just say the words and make me come.”
I closed my eyes and imagined Juliette. “I love you,” I whispered, one thumb rubbing Raelene’s clit and the other lifting her up and slamming her back down onto me.
“Ohhhhh,” she sighed, her walls tightening as she orgasmed around my cock. I moaned, coming inside her so hard I couldn’t see for a few seconds. She collapsed on my chest, our bodies slick with sweat, my dick still hard inside her and ready to go again. My need was insatiable. I could fuck until I was red raw, and even the pain of that wouldn’t stop me.
My shame at unwittingly deflowering Rails overpowered my own desire to keep screwing her, however, and I willed my cock to calm down until she recovered.
We lay there for several seconds, our breath coming out in laboured gasps. As moments go, it was peaceful. Calm, even.
Then, in an instant, it all shattered.
I heard footsteps approaching, along with clapping. I pushed Rails off me and she cried out. I’d probably hurt her, flinging her off me like that, but old habits die hard, and I didn’t want someone sneaking up on me while I was in the throes of post-fuck bliss.
It was Chad. Built like a fucking tank, I was already half a head taller than him. He’d inherited our father’s psychosis, but then, perhaps we all had. Mine had just remained dormant until somebody had given me no other coping mechanism to survive. Chad, though, delighted in tormenting anyone weaker than him. I hated him the most, because although all of my brothers had participated in raping Juliette all those years ago, Chad had taken a perverse pleasure in stealing her virginity. Every other one of them had either covered her face, or looked at the floor. A few turned her on her stomach so they didn’t have to look into the eyes of a girl they’d grown up with as they stole pieces of her soul, but not Chad. He’d stared into her eyes and kissed her on the mouth as he was the first one to rip her apart, only pulling away when she bit a chunk out of his tongue.
He was a complete fucking psychopath, and I saw a glint of something in his eyes now as he stood on the other side of the open doorway that separated me from the rest of the world. I wondered, briefly, if I could overpower him and get out. I wondered if I could kill him with my bare hands before he could draw the gun at his hip and shoot me dead. “How’s your pussy, Rails?” he cooed, chewing on a toothpick he’d wedged between his teeth. “You sore, baby? Want me to kiss it better?” He pulled the toothpick from his mouth long enough to snake his tongue out suggestively at her, before biting down on the toothpick again. She didn’t answer him, just pulled the threadbare sheets around her like some kind of toga.
“Get dressed, both of you,” Chad said abruptly. “We’re going for a little walk. Dad’s orders.” He waggled his eyebrows at me, winking at Rails.
I hadn’t been outside in three years. “No,” I said, acting bored, a dull sense of panic crawling up from my bloody cock, settling in my stomach and bubbling up in my throat like acidic bile. I was the king of this three-by-three cell, and I’d resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t ever leaving it a long time ago. Beside me, Rails had dropped the sheets and was pulling her dress over her head. I saw smears of blood on her thighs and winced.
I’d done that. I’d taken something from her, and I didn’t like the feeling.
Ten minutes later, I was covering my eyes with my hands. More of my brothers had joined Chad after my initial refusal to step outside, and though I was like a beast in a cage, it was still six against one. They pinned me down and zip-tied my hands in front of me, marching me outside as Rails pleaded with them to be gentle. I didn’t give a fuck about me. I gave a fuck about her. I liked her, and she was the only friend I had in the world.
What did that mean for her?
The sun. Holy Jesus, the sun was burning me. I felt like I might die under the power of its rays, burning into my eyes. My vision filled with solid white and I would have collapsed had it not been for my brothers dragging me through the dirt yard beside Emilio’s mansion.
We stopped beside a patch planted with lemon and orange trees, the sweet smell of rotting citrus faint, but almost unbearable to someone who’d been deprived of their senses for years. The hands holding me let me go and I fell to my knees in the sand. “Three years,” Chad said, looking at Rails impatiently. “It took you three years, brother, but we finally broke you.”
“What?” Panic churned inside me.
“You finally did it,” Chad grinned, standing behind Rails and yanking her dress down to expose her taut nipples. I cringed, but I couldn’t look away. I wanted to kill him, this sadistic fuck whose mission in life was to corrupt me; to make me like him. Rails didn’t move, or even look alarmed. She was swaying on her feet and I saw a thread of blood in the crook of her elbow.
“You drugged her?” I asked Chad.
Chad shrugged. “She asked for it. That’s her reward for visiting you, lover boy.” I swallowed thickly, looking at the ground. It didn’t matter. I didn’t love her, and even though I hadn’t been in it for so fucking long, I understood the way the world worked. It fucking burned that she’d been visiting me for years and was being paid just like the others, but in smack. Hell, maybe that’s how they all got paid.
I’d known she was a drug user, but I didn’t think this was the reason for her visits. I don’t know what I thought, but whatever it was, I was wrong to think she was anything more than a junkie, using me to get her next fix. Yeah, no friend of mine.
I hadn’t loved her, but I’d thought she maybe loved me.
“You love her?” Chad asked, and before I could blink, he had his gun in his hand, the barrel pressed against her temple. She didn’t appear concerned though, floating on a wave none of us could see.
“It’s okay,” Rails said, her words thick. “You know how I met your brother? I was about to jump off a bridge, but he stopped me. He told me there was somebody I had to meet.” She laughed, in a daze. Her eyes couldn’t even focus on me. I got to my feet and lunged towards them, but my brothers held me back.
Just like before. First Juliette, and now Raelene.
I struggled and kicked like a wounded tiger as Chad took his free hand and trailed it down from her chest to her concave stomach, hiking her dress up to reveal the bloody juncture of her thighs. “You did this, and this makes you no better than us, you understand?”
“Fuck you!” I roared, bucking against the iron grip that held me back. Six against one. How was it never a fair fight? Were they really so a
fraid of the fact that I might beat them one-on-one?
“Say it,” Chad said, sliding one finger inside Rails so that she flinched. Even with the drugs, the rough way he was poking and prodding at her must have hurt. “Say you’re no better than us. Say you’re one of us and I’ll let her go.” I looked to Rails, but she wasn’t even there. Whatever drug was in her bloodstream, it looked effective.
“I’m no better than you.” I ground out.
“And?” Chad prompted, snaking his tongue out to lick Raelene’s earlobe.
I shuddered.
“And I’m one of you.”
“One of what?”
“A fucking Gypsy Brother!” I screamed.
Apparently satisfied, Chad took his hands off Rails, letting her sway unsteadily on her own. Before I could move, he blew her brains out. Took his gun, pressed it to the back of her head and pulled the trigger. The bullet didn’t just enter her head—it blew the top of her skull clean off. She fell to the ground, dead, her tits still out and her dress hiked up enough to show everything. I stared blankly as Chad spat and took another drag of his cigarette. He threw the smoldering butt on the ground beside Rails, crushing it beside her dead face with the heel of his heavy boot.
I lost it. I fucking lost it. Her blood was still smeared on my dick, her brains arranged around her head like a perverse halo, and she wasn’t going to wake up from this.
“You fucking pussy!” I roared. I pulled so hard, I broke the zip-strip that bound my wrists together and began tearing at arms and hands until I was free. I stood, balling my fists so hard I swear I felt my own bones splintering under the weight of my rage. Six against one, but none of my brothers could have stopped three years of pent-up fury as I lunged at Chad, whose smirk was quickly replaced by fear. He looked to our brothers, but perhaps they, too, were tired of Chad’s psychotic behavior because none of them moved particularly fast to stop me.
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