by Charlie Hart
“There are masseuses on-call with the hotel. Anytime you want one, just ring up the spa. And physical therapy is on the rehearsal schedule three days a week. If you need more, just ask. My job is to make sure my dancers have everything they need.” Melanie tells us she is headed to a meeting with the background dancers. “I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early, okay?”
After she leaves, we begin packing up our stuff.
“Damn,” Sawyer says, stretching his arms over his head. “I’m starving.”
Vaughn, North, and Arrow nod in agreement. “There’s a burger place in the casino. Wanna go there?” Arrow asks.
I look over at Lark, but she isn’t paying us any attention. She hasn’t seemed very present at all today. I realize the show is a lot to take in. Also, I don’t really know her. I don’t know what regular Lark is like well enough to really be able to judge how she is acting now.
And while the rehearsal was hard, she never once seemed to lose her concentration, and her focus was on point. I want to know more about her.
I walk over to her, wanting to check in. “Are you hungry?” I ask, hoping we can spend time together without work getting in the way. But she shakes her head.
“Honestly, I think I’m going to take Melanie up on that massage offer. Is that okay, do you think?” She pulls a duffel bag over her shoulder, but it’s so heavy it seems to weigh her down.
“Here, can I help?” I ask, taking the bag and tossing it over my own shoulder. “And of course, it’s okay. I was thinking of doing the same thing, actually.”
Her eyes light up. “Oh, really? Okay, that makes me feel less greedy.”
“Wanna walk over together?”
“That sounds really nice, Brecken. Thanks.”
“Of course,” I say, leading the way out of the break room. “See ya guys later,” I call over my shoulder. I notice Lark offering them a small wave.
Maybe it’s wrong to take the lead like this, but I don’t care. They think I’m nothing but a player. A cheat. A fucking ass.
But I’m not. Not anymore.
I may be a sinner, but this little bird is my saving grace.
8
Lark
After the massage, my shoulders are no longer tense and I feel more like myself–whatever that is.
I couldn’t sleep at all last night. I was wrecked after the conversation with Mom.
It’s impossible to accept what she said. What she kept from me. The truth of what I did. After she told me what I had done I pushed out of the kitchen, refusing to look at her anymore.
My eyes squeeze shut, I can’t go back there, to the things she revealed. It’s too painful, too confusing.
“Hey, Lark, you okay?” Brecken asks as I come out of the massage room. He’s waiting for me with my duffel bag at his feet. “You look like you saw a ghost.”
“I just have a lot on my mind.”
He nods, and I remember what the guys said last night about not having any family, how they were orphans, and I feel a connection to all of them.
Turns out I am an orphan too.
“The massage was nice though, wasn’t it?” he asks as we leave the spa.
“Yeah, it feels weird not paying though, I think I just received seven hundred dollars’ worth of treatment.”
“It was worth it. You’re glowing, Lark.”
I feel my face redden. “Shush.”
“I mean, you’re beautiful anyway, but right now it’s like you’re walking on air.”
“Really?” I turn to face him as we walk through the casino, his words a balm to my aching heart. “I feel like I’m weighed down by a rock.”
He reaches for my hand, and I let him take it. Right now, I have the distinct desire to be held. “Hey,” he says, dipping his chin, looking into my eyes. “When things get hard, just pretend you’re light as a feather. Free as a bird.”
I narrow my eyes, remembering my mother’s words last night. Nothing feels light anymore.
“Is that what you do? Act free as a bird?”
He swallows. “Something like that.”
I raise my eyebrows, my lips turning up into a smile. “Lucky.”
Just then a couple emerges from the elevator and I step back, giving them space to pass as my heart skips a few beats. It’s Ace and Emmy, the owners of the casino.
“Ace, this is Lark,” Emmy says with a smile, tugging on her husband’s jacket. “The star of SOAR.”
“Oh,” I say, biting my bottom lip. “I didn’t think you knew who I was.”
“Everyone is going to, soon enough,” she says with a smile. “Your face is going to be on every billboard in this town!”
Ace turns to me, smiling. He’s all kinds of intimidating. Fancy as all get out, and loaded. Emmy drips in diamonds and he wears a suit cut for kings.
He offers me his hand. “So good to meet you. I hear your show is going to do great things for our casino.”
I smile, trying not to gawk. “Thank you, and, uh, fingers crossed.” Then, reaching for Brecken’s elbow I pull him closer, and add, “And this is Brecken. He’s one the male leads.”
“Fantastic,” Emmy says. “I’m Emmy, by the way. I know your mom.”
“I know,” I say. “It’s great to meet you both, formally.”
“Likewise,” Emmy says. “We can’t wait for opening night. Everyone in town is already talking about SOAR.”
They walk away, and I look at Brecken with wide eyes.
“I can’t believe we just talked to them.”
“Why?” he asks.
“They’re like... Vegas-Famous.”
“According to them, you are too, Lark,” he tells me, dragging me further into the casino.
“Where are we going?”
“To get food. I wasn’t hungry before, but now I’m starved.”
“Then we can’t eat here,” I say indignantly.
“Why not?”
“Let me take you somewhere only the locals know about.”
An hour later, we’re sitting on the curb, tacos in hand, and a Mexican coke between us.
“The real deal, right?” I say before taking a bite of my el pastor soft shell with a pineapple salsa.
“It’s amazing.” Brecken grins, and I do too, relishing the way I feel so comfortable with him.
I groan in pleasure, needing this light-hearted break so badly. Last night ruined me, but Brecken is giving me a chance to forget. “It’s my comfort food. What’s yours?”
He thinks for a second, takes a sip of coke. “Mac and cheese.”
“Classic.”
“Classic. That’s me in a nutshell,” he says with a smirk.
“Does North hate you?” I ask. The question was running through my mind all day at rehearsal. They seemed to share an underlying annoyance with one another.
“Eh, North likes control, and I haven’t always played nice.”
“No? You seem so... friendly. Outgoing.”
“North would call that me being a womanizer.”
I grin, understanding. “Oh, I see. So, you take his women out from under him?”
“In the past, maybe. But not now.” He adds hot sauce to his taco. “I don’t want to be the guy I used to be, but my promises aren’t enough for North. He wants me to suffer for my past mistakes.”
“Do you have a lot of them?” I ask. I get the feeling Brecken wouldn’t lie to me, and I take the chance in trying to understand him better.
“Me? Hell, the list is too fucking long. Not that you’d understand anything about ruining things.”
I snort. “Turns out, I know better than you’d think.”
My eyes must turn as dark as my heart feels, because Brecken looks at me, worried. “Shit, you do know something about it, don’t you?” Brecken rests a palm on my cheek, turning my face toward his. “Wanna talk about it?”
I shake my head, the story burning a hole in my heart. I just want the pain to go away.
“Hey, it’s okay, Lark. You’re okay.”
“I’m not what you think,” I tell him.
“Is anyone?”
I sigh, wanting so badly to confide in him. And not just because I want to rebel against my mom. I could use a friend right now. “Last night, after I came home, my Mom told me something really awful things.”
“Like...?”
I lift my eyebrows, not understanding why he is my confessor. He’s no priest, yet for some reason I feel like I can say anything to him.
“She said I did something to kill my sister when I was a little girl.” I blink back tears, ones I didn’t expect to shed. He reaches for my hand, and it catches me off guard, the way he holds it so tenderly.
He runs his thumb against my skin, as if trying to erase the pain, and he wraps his arm around me, pulling me in and holding me tight. I know we just met, but in this moment I feel like I could say anything and he would do his best to comfort me.
“I’d remember that, wouldn’t I?” I ask him.
“Memories are strange, sometimes we push painful ones aside.”
“I wish I could remember.”
“Did you ask her to fill in the gaps?”
I shake my head. “No, I was angry. She said some other things that really confused me … the whole night was a mess.”
“Why did it get so heavy?” he asks. “It should have been a night to celebrate.”
“No,” I say softly. “Not with her. She hates that I’m in the show. She likes it best when no one can see me, when I’m locked away in her cage.”
“I hope that’s not literal.”
I twist my lips. “It’s more literal than you’d think.”
“Fuck, Lark. That’s some dark shit.”
His reaction surprises me, how he’s on my side, not appearing to judge the things I say. “The whole night was dark: she was like, a different person. We’ve always been so close … but then again … she’s been my only friend for so long. Then last night she wrecked everything I believed.”
“What do you mean?” Brecken asks, hooking my chin on his finger, and lifting it.
“She said she wasn’t even my mother.”
Our eyes lock, and I’m scared to say any more, feeling like I already said too much.
“Why does your mom want to keep you off the stage?” he asks.
“That’s your question after I tell you all that?”
He brushes away the tears on my cheek, shaking his head. “I just want to understand you.”
“Why?” I ask, my question feeling so vulnerable.
“I don’t know who your mom is, but in the space of a day I know you. And you aren’t a killer, Lark. You are more than you know.”
“That’s the problem. I don’t want to be more than I know. I don’t want to be in the dark anymore. I want to know who my mother is.”
“I wish I knew, Lark.” He kisses my forehead, and I hold my breath. My heart hums with desire for more. I want him to kiss me, make me forget everything from last night.
He holds me at the base of my neck. “If you ever need anything, just ask. All of us guys–we’re here for you. Only you.”
“Did you guys make a pact or something?” I ask, his fingers pulling through my hair, drawing me to him.
“All for one,” he whispers.
“One for all.” I close my eyes, wanting to feel anything other than destroyed. “Kiss me,” I say.
“I don’t want to kiss you when you’re upset. It feels wrong.”
I shake my head, squaring my shoulders to his. “This isn’t wrong. It’s so, so right.”
Brecken leans closer and his lips meet mine. The kiss is soft and sugary sweet like the bottle of coke between us. His mouth opens, and our tongues meet, and I sink into him right there on the curb, the night sky covering us, and with the Vegas heat rolling over our backs.
I may be a killer, but right now, Brecken is going to hear my confession, and I have the feeling he just might be my absolution.
9
Sawyer
It’s clear something is bothering her. Eating at her.
She’s flustered. Not when she moves across the practice space, practicing a jump or a landing–not there. There she’s flawless.
It’s when she stops to listen to Melanie’s directions, I noticed her step away from the guys. From all of us. I noticed the way she looks anywhere but straight ahead. Suddenly, she seems to find her dance shoes intriguing, or the ceiling has her enraptured.
Finally, by the end of the day, I can’t take it anymore. I have to know what’s going on with her.
Once rehearsal has been officially called, I sidle up to her while she’s taking a sip from her water bottle.
“Hey, dove, everything okay?” I bump her shoulder with mine trying to get her to come out of her shell. “I know this might sound strange, but you went out with Brecken last night, and today you’ve been... off. Did something happen?”
She looks at me then, wide-eyed. Oh, that’s it. Should have known a player like him would eff things up for all of us. Or at least me.
“He make a move on you?” I ask, not interested in shying away from anything. “A move you didn’t want?”
“It wasn’t like that,” she says, her voice soft. She dips her chin and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear.
Melanie is clapping her hands and thanking us for a great job today, then she’s headed out the door. I look around and Arrow and North are stretching, and Brecken and Vaughn are going over the dance sequence Melanie had us working through today.
I can tell she is comfortable with me, and we walk over to the side of the room where we can have more privacy. “It’s just,” she starts. “I feel...”
I put an arm around her shoulder, bumping her shoulder. “Bird, you can tell me what you mean. You don’t need to be nervous with me.”
“I’m not nervous, I’m just, well, I feel a little bad. I kissed you...” She looks over and sees Arrow and North and Vaughn. Then her eyes fall on Brecken. “Listen, Sawyer, I kissed Brecken. And I shouldn’t have kissed two different guys in two different days. And the last thing any of us needs is to mess up this show.”
“Oh,” I say, beginning to understand her. But this bird has nothing to worry about. “You’re nervous Brecken and I are going to fight it out and ruin everything?”
“Well, are you?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s not like that with us.”
“Yeah, Brecken mentioned you guys were one for all, all for one... but does that really apply to this situation?”
“Do you want it to? Because, Lark, we are here for you.”
“That’s what has me worried.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Yeah?”
Lark runs a hand through her long black hair. “Maybe we could go out and talk?”
“Are you asking me out?” I ask, with my jaw dropped feigning shock.
She smacks me in the chest playfully. “Don’t make this harder for me than it needs to be. I just want to chill out tonight, and you guys make me feel so relaxed.”
I nod. “I see. Not just us then, you mean the five of us?”
“Sorry, I mean I’d love to go out with you too, but...”
“No, it’s fine. Let’s get takeout and bring the party upstairs.”
Lark twists her lips. “You think North will be okay with that?”
“North can get over himself.”
She bites her bottom lip, eyebrows raised in surprise.
“Do you have any idea how badly I want to kiss you again?” I ask, watching that lip of hers as she bites down. It’s so damn sexy.
“No clue.”
She runs a hand through her hair, eyes back to the floor. “Maybe you can show me upstairs.”
Her words catch me off guard. Now it’s my turn to playfully shove her shoulder. “Are you asking to come to my bedroom?” I ask slowly.
Lark’s cheeks flare red and I chuckle, loving her reaction. Then she looks straight at me as if she’s mustered her confidence. “What wo
uld you say if I told you that’s exactly what I want?”
I grin, taking her hand. “Let’s get out of here.”
While Lark is in the ensuite bathroom, North starts in on us.
“I told you, we can’t get close to her. If our emotions get involved, it will make it more difficult for us to protect her.”
“Protect me from what?” Lark asks stepping into the living room.
“See,” North says. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. Gaia told us that specifically. We have one job.”
Lark sits on the couch, crossing her legs. I take my place right next to her, feeling protective.
She sighs. “Look, I know you’re having some big boy talk, but listen, I’m done with secrets. I’m not playing hide and seek.”
I love the way she tosses words back at him. Even if she is small and sweet, she has a backbone. But North can’t stand it.
“I’m not doing this, talking about it,” North says. “It would be breaking my promise to Gaia.”
“But you’re okay with breaking trust with Lark?” Arrow asks.
We all turn and look at him. He rarely speaks his mind. He’s always quiet, and sometimes it kind of freaks me out, to be honest. I may have known him my whole life, but he never puts anyone in check.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” North asks Arrow, stepping toward him.
Arrow raises his eyebrows as if North hasn’t got a clue. “It means we were sent here to take care of Lark, and if we end up hurting her, confusing her, or pushing her away, how are we doing our job? How will we complete the mission?”
“Mission?” Lark shakes her head. “Listen, guys. I feel about twenty steps behind you. I told you already I’m done with living in the dark. That way too much of my life has been, apparently, spent in the shadows. So, tell me what’s going on, or I’m out of here. I’m not threatening–I mean it.”
Her tone is sharp and I’m reminded of the Shakespeare she quoted when we met... though she be but small... she is fierce.
It’s so damn true. I love it, watching the way she doesn’t back down. Especially because North is used to getting everything exactly how he wants. Ever since we were kids, living in a group home, North always got the lion’s share.