by B C Morgan
“What else has he done and just as important, who is he?” His tone leaves no room for me to refuse to answer and I won’t, not now.
Elliott sealed my fate and it seems I’ve sealed his. But unlike my brother, I’m not going to leave Harrison to face this alone.
“He beat me at Padstow, made it sound as though it was your idea. Broke my wrist, shot at me with a gun and more recently…” I can do this, he deserves to know it all, to see the threat I’ve placed upon him. “He cut my brakes and stuck around to watch it. Rang me to taunt me about it, letting me know that his offer to tell me why Elliott died, has been rescinded. All because I was too weak to stay away from Elijah. I can’t be weak again,” my tone turns to steel, as my resolve thickens my voice. Resolve and conviction to not endanger anyone else!
“What offer did he make and what did he want in return?” Okay, his reaction is puzzling, why does he even care about that?
“He said he would tell me why it happened, if I answered any question he asked. The thing is, I would have agreed to it. I’d agree to anything to solve the mystery that has haunted me for eleven years. I’m so sorry Harrison,” my face crumbles as I’m overcome with an overwhelming sense of guilt.
“Okay, it’s hard to be mad at you for bringing this to my door when you’re crying like that,” he sounds so irritated by my pain that it makes the tears fall harder and faster.
“It’s not all your fault, I didn't give you much of a choice when it came to re-entering your life. Does that help, can you stop crying now?” He is now uncomfortable and awkward but I can’t stop.
“Woman, stop!” He shouts and he is doing everything wrong because I’m getting worse and nothing seems to be stopping me.
He storms out of the room and I hear the sound of running water, before I’m in his arms and he drops me onto the floor of the shower and ice cold water pours over me and I shriek.
“What the fuck Harrison,” I scream at him, not caring that its only damaging my healing throat more and jumping up to my feet.
“Well, it got you to stop crying didn’t it!” He exclaims and we stand here staring at one another and I lose it, completely.
Laughter builds within me, before it bursts forth and it's so loud that it shocks me, but I can’t stop it. He is now joining in and tears are still streaming down my cheeks, we collapse on the floor and we stay like this until the laughter subsides.
WE END up on the sofa, I can’t believe how long we laughed for. I still have a stitch and by the way he’s rubbing his side, I’m guessing it’s the same for him.
“How much danger do you think I’m in?” He asks, his tone serious and straight to the point.
“I don't want to hazard a guess, but he’s not the type to fuck around. He could make you wait for something to happen until you think he’s forgotten about you and then bam,” I shout that one word to add to its impact. “He’ll strike, and you won’t know what he’s done until it's too late. That or he’ll just walk up to you and shoot or maybe stab you, I’m not an expert on this psycho,” I say, spilling sarcasm like a broken tap spills water.
“Well, I guess you’ve got yourself a passenger,” his words shock me and I do not like where he is going with this. “If we’re both in danger, we may as well be in danger together. Safety in numbers and all that crap, what do you say Henleigh Monterey. Do you want to go on the run with me?” He raises his eyebrows and pins me with a look that screams how much he means it.
Well fuck me, I’ve already decided I won’t abandon him. I guess he’s going to be joining me, fuck my life.
“You’re in it now I guess, why not drag you in deeper,” I say it like it's nothing more than a joke, even though it’s sending my anxiety through the charts.
We talk about where we’re going to go and how long we may be gone for, we can’t really say though. Will Dante grow bored and tired after a while or will his vendetta never cease, no I need to stay positive. I need to believe that we can outrun him.
We pack up the stuff that he thinks he’ll need and he rings his boss to let her know that a family emergency has arisen and he needs to return home for the foreseeable future. It sounds like she’s understanding by the one sided conversation I can hear and whatever she is saying, puts this smile on his face that leaves me a little breathless. He’s so different when he’s happy and smiling, it’s a shame he doesn’t have more reasons to put this look on his face.
He hangs up and the smile vanishes almost instantly as he looks at me, picks up his bag and walks outside. I sent all his plans down the drain and I’ve thrown his life into turmoil. The same I’ve been stuck in most of my life.
I take a look around the home he had for himself, to prove to his dad that he could make it on his own. An unbelievable amount of sadness threatens to drown me, as I close the door and carry my duffel bag out to my car. Harrison checks it before we drive anywhere, he’s handy to have around and now we are in my car and setting off. First stop London and then, who knows.
WELL, we’re not going to make it to London just yet. Mattias came through and found the name for Harrison, he even gave him a little more information to go along with it.
Damon Matterson is his name, he got shot and it smashed up his knee and another one tore through his spleen. He was recovering well and then one day he tried to end his life and when it failed he tried again and again until he ended up in a psychiatric facility. He’s still there even now, he doesn’t talk to anyone and only has the occasional visitor. Even then, he just stares right through them. I have no idea how Mattias found all of this out but I’m not sure what it means for me or Elliott. Although, guns were found in the car. Oh no, please don’t tell me he shot the poor guy. Now all I need to do is find out what this has to do with Dante.
So, we’re going to head to the facility. I doubt he’ll speak to me, but I need to try. Don’t I?
FIVE
WE ARE HEADING TO NOTTINGHAM, it's a five and a half hour car ride and we’ve decided to take it in turns driving and we’ll probably stop over somewhere for the night. That’s only so I can psych myself up, I need to do this but I do not want to at all. H is being a lot more quiet than usual but I can’t really blame him, he does look happy to be behind the wheel even if he is stuck with me.
“Can you stop watching me, it’s really unnerving,” he says as he shoots me the side eye.
“Sorry, I was just thinking about...stuff,” I say quietly, turning to stare out of my window.
“What’s on your mind?” He asks, not that it really sounds like he wants to know. Why do people ask if they don’t care?
“This is going to be really awkward and hard isn’t it? You're stuck with someone you don’t want to be around and you don’t even know why you’re a target. Other than knowing it's my fault, somehow,” this is so frustrating.
“It’s not that bad Henleigh, and to be fair in another life, I think I’d like you. But right now we need to focus on getting you in to see that Damon guy and then figure out where to go from there. Our weird arse friendship is the least of my worries,” he clenches his jaw as he stares straight ahead and we just keep on driving.
By the time we pull up to a travel inn, my entire body is stiff and my arse is numb. I almost want to cry in relief as I get out and stretch to my heart’s content. H isn’t as joyous by this as I am but he gets us a room and we settle in for the night, it’s as he takes a shower that I pull my phone out and dare to check it.
There’s nothing, he didn’t bother to reply and it guts me more than I thought it would. Maybe it’s time for me to read his letter, I’m not ready for Elliott’s but I can do this.
HEN,
I didn’t want to leave like this but I couldn’t watch you walk away, I love you, we all do but you’re making it hard. I know you’re going to do something stupid and you won’t let me help you, I thought I had proven to you that you could trust and rely on me. The fear is pouring from you and I feel utterly useless, I meant what I said about only
being a phone call away but I won’t be waiting around for that call. I won’t be moving on from you, how could anyone ever do that? But I can’t put my life on hold either, I’m going to uni, maybe you’ll ring me one day and we can be together or maybe this will be the last thing I ever get to say. If that's the case then I’ll finish the only way I can imagine doing it.
Henleigh Monterey, you are an incredible, intelligent and truly beautiful person. I love you with every living ember within me and I know it will never die out completely.
Forever yours,
Elijah
I WILL NOT CRY, I will not cry. I can hear the shower shut off and I’m quickly wiping at my face as Harrison comes back into my room and my brain forgets how to function properly.
He’s all hard lines, smooth planes and definition. He has the perfect V disappearing into the towel wrapped around his waist. A trail of hair working is way down from the middle of his chest and disappearing into the same place as the V. His legs are all muscles and his pecs look as though you could bounce a pound coin right off them. I can’t help it as my tongue slips free from my mouth and swipes across my, dry as the desert, lips.
“My eyes are up here Henleigh,” he says and my eyes snap up to his smirking face and I have a whole new appreciation for him.
My eyes fixate on a drop of water that is sliding from his hair, working its way down the column of his neck and running down his cheek.
“Seriously woman, I am not a piece of meat. If you don’t stop, I’ll have to return the favour,” his voice is husky and makes my stomach flip as my eyes slowly travel back up to his.
I blame the guys, they unlocked my hormones and have made it impossible for me to not think about sex. Even if it is wholly inappropriate.
“I think I better go for mine now,” I say as my cheeks heat and redden, and I snatch up a towel and try to make my way past him but he moves into the doorway and refuses to let me pass.
“Harrison, what are you doing?” I ask my voice breathy, almost sultry and that’s new territory for me.
His breathing falters slightly as he steps closer, his eyes clouding over before he shakes it off and moves out of the way, clearing his throat in the process.
“I won’t be long,” I say as I rush inside and jump in the shower. It’s now that I realise I didn’t bring any clothes with me, but I am not going back out there just yet, there is way too much tension in the air. Our chemistry is electric and I don’t want to think about how good it would be if we ever crossed that tenuous line we have between us. No, I won’t go there. My heart and body already belongs to three guys, I won’t throw a fourth into the mix.
WE MAKE it to the facility bright and early, the tension between us is getting worse and he looks at me as though I’m the worst person in the world to be stuck with.
We sit in the waiting room for a member of staff to take us to see Damon, getting them to believe Harrison was a family friend or at least his parents were, was easy enough. I feel a bit uneasy about lying on the sign in sheet, but it’s probably the safest option.
We get led to a garden area to see a guy in his twenties sitting in a wheelchair, staring into space but his eyes chill me. They’re so lifeless, almost as if there’s no one inside.
“Damon,” I say gently as I crouch down in front of him but he’s staring right through me.
“Does he ever speak?” Harrison asks the nurse and she looks at us with sympathy.
“He does have moments of awareness and clarity but it’s few and far between. Maybe today will be a good one for you,” she lays a gentle hand on his shoulder with a soft smile before walking away and giving us a semblance of privacy.
“I don’t know why we’re here, is this stupid?” I ask, looking up at Harrison as the voice of reason.
“Probably, it was your idea after all,” he says, spitting vitriol at me, great back to this how fun.
I meet Damon’s eyes and we stare at one another, but he’s so...empty. Until, he’s not and his eyes widen just a little as he takes me in. I go to move back a little but his hand grips my wrist tightly.
“Monterey!” He screams at me and I can’t get free, Harrison is trying to pry him off of me but it’s no use. “You’re dead!” His eyes are filled with fear but there’s nothing I can do.
A couple of nurses rush over and help to remove him and I’m in shock, why would he scream at me like that.
“Dead, dead, all dead,” he says it repeatedly, his voice growing quiet as they give him an injection and he slumps back into his chair.
We leave in a daze, the nurses apologise for what happened but they’ve never seen him do that before. I guess I bring it out of him, but what does it mean? And how did he know what my surname was?
“WELL, THAT WAS A WASTE OF TIME,” Harrison says mockingly and I really want to slap his smug face.
“Maybe not,” I say as I look out of the car window and think about how he screamed my name at me.
“There’s no way he could know who I am, but there’s only one other person who shared my eyes and that’s Elliott. I think he knew him, I just can’t see the connection yet. Do you think he looked angry?” I ask, hoping Harrison saw more as I was too preoccupied by the grip he had on me which has left finger marks on my skin.
“No, I think he looked scared. If I had to hazard a guess I don’t think he even saw you, I think he saw your brother. The way he screamed about you being dead, maybe this isn’t the first time he thinks he’s seen Elliott,” Harrison makes a good point, but it only raises further questions.
Did Elliott and this Damon guy know one another? And if so, were they enemies, acquaintances, friends or...something else?
“Earth to Henleigh, can we get going now?” He asks brusquely and I shake off the fog as I throw my car into gear and head back to the travel inn so we can grab our things.
“Can you turn your phone off please, the music is really irritating,” yes I’m filled with attitude right now, but he’s bringing it out of me.
“No can do love, that’s your phone,” he says being as smarmy as anything. I roll my eyes before pulling over and pulling my phone out.
Noah.
I guess Elijah has passed on my number, why do tears have to prick my eyes right now. With Harrison staring between me and my still ringing phone, can he see the havoc that is raging within me?
“Answer it,” he says darkly and I don’t understand the tone but I do as he says nonetheless. Is it wrong that his voice is doing things to me that I don’t dare think about?
“Noah,” it comes out more breathy than I had intended and I hear his sigh of relief when he hears my voice.
“Leighbear, I didn’t think you’d answer,” he says in a broken voice and it makes a tear slide down my face.
“I didn’t know if I would, what’s wrong? Is everything okay?” I ask softly, well aware that Harrison is listening to every word I say.
“Nothing is okay, nothing has been okay since you said goodbye,” he says with a sarcastic laugh before sighing deeply, “I got my results back, there wasn’t anyone else I wanted to share the news with, but you.”
I sit up straight, I don’t know what to say. He has the results and he wants me to know what they are.
“Is it good news, are they negative?” I ask, my tone hopeful and gentle.
“They are, I haven’t got Huntington’s. Mum and dad are so relieved, well dad is…” he trails off and I do not understand what he means, but I know it isn’t good.
“What’s going on Noah?” I don’t have much of a right to ask, but I’m still hoping he’ll tell me.
“It doesn’t matter, you’ve got your own stuff to deal with. At least, I imagine you do. You can still talk to me you know Henleigh, I wouldn’t repeat anything you say if you didn’t want me to,” he’s so sincere but I can’t. Not after what I’ve dragged H into it, I won’t do the same to Noah.
“I know you wouldn’t, but there’s nothing to say. I’ve got to go, but I’m so happy
for you. You get to live a long and happy life,” I try to instil as much happiness as I can, but I don’t know how successful I am.
“It would be even happier if you were in it, stay safe Henleigh and if you ever need anything,” he pauses for a moment. I guess he’s trying to find the right words, “anything at all, you only ever have to ask. I won’t even question it, moronic I know I just...miss you. I want to know you’re safe,” the pain in his voice makes it hard for me to say anything so I don’t.
I do the cowardly thing and hang up before leaning my head against the window and let my tears fall unbidden. I hear H open his door and then I’m falling sideways as he opens mine, leans over me to release my seatbelt and then lifts me into his arms.
I keep my head turned away as he places me into the passenger seat, moves back to the driving seat and starts up the car.
“Is it worth shutting them out if it hurts you this much?” He asks, his tone gruff as he pulls back out onto the road.
“I’ve already fucked your life up, I won’t do the same to them. They’re worth all the pain it causes me,” I say, it comes out broken and disjointed. I wonder if he understood any of what I just said?
“I get it, you make me glad I’ve never been in love,” he says it like it means nothing, but I can hear the lie and jealousy in his voice. He wants someone to love and to love him back just as much.
WE GET BACK to our room and I send a quick email to Roxie, not only to apologise for disappearing on her but also to ask her for a favour. Well, to ask Declan for a favour.
Henleigh motherfucking Monterey,
Are you shitting me right now. I am not doing a single thing for you until you explain yourself, you hear me baby girl. Not a damn thing.
Roxie
How should I handle this? Screw it, I can trust her and she already knows. It’s not like I’m telling her where I am so maybe she’ll still be safe.