by B C Morgan
“Fine, you want to waste your money that’s great, see if I care,” I throw back as I storm off to find someone who works here.
I come to a halt as I get closer to the building and see train guy, once again leaning against a wall just outside of the lot with a fag in his mouth.
He has a slight smile turning up the corners of his mouth as we stare at one another, I knew I wasn’t imagining it. He gives me a nod of the head as he starts to walk off and the next thing I know, H is running off after him.
What else can I do but stand here and wait for him to come back? Although I want him to find out who the train guy is, it’s making me nervous thinking about Harrison catching him. What if he gets hurt? Oh fuck, what if he has a weapon? Okay, anxiety is kicking in, I’m going to hyperventilate. My chest is constricting and I’m leaning my hands on my knees just trying to get more air into my lungs.
“Are you okay Miss?” A lady who probably works here asks, I glance up at her and she looks worried.
“I’m...I’m…” I can’t get it out through the panting, it’s hard to talk when you can’t breathe.
“It’s okay, everything is okay. Come on let's get you inside so you can sit down, and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea,” she says as she leads me inside and the panic eventually subsides. Although I know I’ll feel a lot better once he comes back.
FIFTEEN MINUTES HAS NEVER FELT LONGER in my life, I feel like I can finally breathe once again when he walks into the reception area and crouches down in front of me.
“Hey, what happened?” He asks, but for some reason I can’t answer. I think it’s because of the relief which is so strong, a lot stronger than I had expected and that’s surprising for some reason.
“Your girlfriend seemed to have had a panic attack, she hasn’t been able to get a lot of words out, but she is a lot calmer now. Is there anything you need or something I can do?” The lovely lady asks, and her kindness fills me with a warmth just knowing that there are still decent people around.
“We’ll be okay, it’s my fault I thought I saw someone nick something and I went off half cocked. I think it just scared her, but I won’t do that again,” he says to her, whilst looking at me.
“You’re a sweet boy, hold on to him missy. He’s such a sweet lad, and handsome to boot you lucky duck,” wow back off there lady, but I won’t say that to her, she’s only trying to be nice.
He looks at me and he seems to realise that I’m tightly wound as he distracts the lady with talk of a purchase and we soon leave with a car. I’m still shaky and nowhere near ready to drive so he takes the wheel and we go to a B and B. We make sure we park the car at least a five minute walk away from there, so we’ll be harder to track. He’s hungry but my appetite is shot to pieces, so he goes to the little restaurant and I go up to our room.
I’m so tense and I can think of a way to relax, but I don’t know how long Harrison will be gone for. Fuck it I’m scared, tense and horny as fuck. I can at least sort two of those out and maybe the fear will go to the side-lines for a little while.
I close the door behind me and go into the bathroom, running the water until it’s hot enough to relax my stiff muscles. I climb in and I can’t help the groan that slips out as I submerge myself in the tub. I feel a little stupid, with everything going on and I’m coming in here to play. Maybe I should just have a quick bath and find a different release for my frustration or...my hand slides down my stomach and I brush my finger across my nub, slow but hard as my toes curl. It feels good, not as good as what my guys could do but enough to get the job done.
I slide my finger inside and my moans echo around the room, I’m so lost in my pleasure as a shout leaves my throat I don’t realise the door has opened before it's too late. My horrified eyes meet Harrison’s before he slams the door shut. Yeah, I’m going to live in here now, fuck going out there. I sink under the water and hope beyond hope that I imagined that.
I’M WRAPPED in a thick dressing gown as I find a smidge of courage and leave the bathroom. Harrison is lounging on the bed watching the tv but he turns it off the moment he realises I’ve come back. I’m standing here staring at him, my cheeks burning as I flush all over and he’s lying there as quiet as I am.
Please say something. This is beyond mortifying; I don’t think it can get any worse than this.
“I’m er...well,” he looks so uncomfortable as he rubs the back of his neck, why is he uncomfortable? It's not like I walked in on him.
“I didn’t know you would be back so soon, I would have locked the door otherwise,” I say pathetically, what more can I say?
“It’s my fault, I heard you shout and thought the worst. I should have realised what was happening, but I didn’t stop to think. Sorry I ruined your fun,” he’s smiling now, but it looks forced.
“It’s fine, let's just pretend it never happened or we’re going to have to insist on twin beds. Otherwise sleeping beside you is going to be awkward,” I don’t even need to emphasise that, but he’s got this twinkle in his eye now and its making me feel itchy beneath my skin.
“Not sure I can pretend that, those noises you make. Woman, who would want to forget those,” his voice comes out deep and husky, filled with a heat I don’t want to name but yeah he’s teasing me and it's only making my blush intensify. Man, I really hate this guy sometimes.
“You are such a dick,” I say weakly as I lay down on the bed beside him and turn so my back is to him.
“Don’t be like that, sulky Henleigh is just a bore,” he says as he pokes me in the side, making me shriek with laughter. His eyes open wider before they narrow and his fingers dance across my ribs making me howl.
I hate being tickled and Harrison being the culprit only makes it worse, he’s hovering over me and I think I’m going to cry. I'm laughing that hard.
“Please stop,” I beg through the laughter and he takes pity on me and relents. I’m breathing hard and I’ve got a stitch as he returns to his previous position and resumes watching tv.
I turn back around and I’m lying next to him as we watch crap on the telly, we aren’t touching but we’re closer together than we usually are. It’s nice to not be fighting, but he won’t get away with not telling me what happened when he chased after the train guy.
We watch an hour or two of tv before I’m ready to broach the subject, I need to come out with it. No beating around the bush, but will he be honest?
“What happened, when you acted like a moron and chased after him?” Don’t antagonise him. Too much attitude and bite behind my words, but he was acting moronic, just chasing after him like that.
“He tried to lose me but I’m guessing he doesn’t know I used to run track, I managed to keep up until he ran into this jam packed shop and I lost him,” he drags his hand through his hair, messing it up instantly. ‘I tried to hunt him down, but it wasn’t any use. The best thing is he ran, which means our little trap worked. He’s following you and I’m guessing he isn’t Dante which means he has help,” talk about stating the obvious, he didn’t figure that out sooner? Bitchy.
“Didn’t we already get that impression when those two on the bike were watching us back in Nottingham. All I want to know is how many people he has on us?” I’ve got him thinking loud enough for me to hear the cogs turning now.
“How far do you think he can stretch, maybe we should aim to get even further. We could go to Scotland or even Wales,” he suggests, and it makes me splutter so much that I start choking.
“We can’t go that far, the plan is London, it has always been London,” he needs to see this, I can’t give up my plan this easily. Not that any of this is easy.
“For crying out loud, what else has to happen for you to get your head out of your arse? Whatever or whoever is waiting for you in London, will have to wait a little longer. We have to stay safe or have you got a death wish or something?” He’s shouting again, what is it about me that makes people start shouting.
“This isn’t for some guy if that’
s what you think, but it’s always been the plan. Go to London, discover the truth and right the wrongs. How can I do that if I’m not even in England? Harrison, the last ten years of my life have been about me finding out what happened. I don’t know who I am without it,” my voice breaks and reality crashes down on me. It’s so honest it’s scary, and heart-breaking how fixated I am that I don’t know what to be without it.
“You became obsessed,” I shoot him a glare, but he holds his palm against my mouth. “I know obsession, it’s how I felt after what happened to Rebecca. But it doesn’t make you feel good once it’s over, it makes you feel like crap and it made me feel worthless. Working in the garage gave me a new purpose and I felt good for the first time in, who knows how many years.” I took that from him, he must hate me.
I try to speak but he won’t take his hand away, oh no what’s he going to say now. Am I not wrecked enough?
“I don’t blame you, woman you tried to get me to leave and I was too stubborn to listen. It’s on me and I don’t feel as empty as I thought I would; leaving there. It’s not the end of my dream, it’s just a detour,” his eyes are soft and he’s smiling gently at me, first time this has ever happened.
“How do I find a new dream?” I ask as he slowly pulls his hand back and drops it to my shoulder.
“Find something you’re passionate about and see if you can do that for something who isn’t a person. Don’t get me wrong, it’s never bad to be passionate with someone, but you can’t live for them. Live for yourself first and then give the love a chance,” wow that’s rather poetic, I’m dumbfounded that it came from him.
“Don’t look so surprised, I’m an arsehole but I’m a smart arsehole,” he has a smirk on his face, but I think this is the most genuine I have ever seen him.
“You know, I may not have picked you as my travel buddy. But I am glad it is you, even if that makes me fucking selfish,” I say and he returns my smile before refocusing on the telly, but every now and then his hand will brush mine and he won’t move it away straight away. I’ll count that as progress.
I fall asleep and have a dreamless one that leaves me feeling more refreshed as morning comes around, and I don’t recoil in horror when I wake up and find Harrison’s arm draped across my hip. I just dislodge him carefully and duck into the bathroom to get dressed, who knows what today will bring.
SEVEN
HARRISON WAS RIGHT, the trap worked. He ran and why would he run if he wasn’t doing something he shouldn’t, like for example, following me. He had another seizure today and I’ve made sure he hasn’t missed a single one of his tablets, it has to be the stress. This one was really bad and it has knocked him out for the count, and I know I’m doing something stupid and risky. Sometimes the rewards are worth the risk and I’m through with hiding its time I take action.
Taking one last look at him as I pull my hair up into a tight ponytail, I quietly say goodbye. Hoping that I’ll be back by the time he wakes up. My jeggings have rips through the thighs, with a lace underlay and a fire engine red shirt with a black belt around my waist, I like it. I’ve even donned my skull cowboy boots. I don’t even know why I have chosen this outfit today, maybe because it makes me comfortable in my own skin. My eyes are rimmed black and my lips are painted red, hey if I’m going to die at least I’ll look nice. So fucking morbid.
I walk out of the hotel and I can see him, the train guy smoking his typical fag and he’s not even trying to hide the fact he’s watching me. But I am, I don’t need him to know I have seen him, he just needs to see me.
I put my headphones in, I’m not listening to anything, but he doesn't need to know that. Walking down the road without a care in the world, maybe I’m being too blasé to be believable, but this is all new territory for me. Am I making the right choice? Now is not the time to second guess yourself.
All I need to do is keep to the roads and don’t trap myself in a corner or a one-way alley, that would be just my luck. All I want to do is lead him on a wild goose chase, I have no plans to end up alone with him. I’m naïve sure but not a moron. My IQ proves that, my main problem is I don’t always think things through, and I end up doing this. And by this, I mean losing track of what way I’ve gone and ending up in an alley, the one place I was trying to avoid.
Shit, what am I supposed to do? I can keep on walking straight ahead and hope it leads to safety or I can backtrack and hope he isn’t right behind me. I turn around and see him at the entrance, I can’t risk going against him. I may have learnt self-defence, but I haven't stayed on top of it, what if my mind goes blank and I forget what I’m supposed to do?
He’s smiling as he enters the alley and holds his hands up in a pacifying gesture, as if I’m going to buy in to that.
“Henleigh, look out,” he shouts as his eyes widen and I’m so taken aback, my reactions are delayed as a hand comes around my mouth and a strange smell has me feeling faint.
Great, here comes the fog.
MY HEAD IS POUNDING, and it feels like the fog will never lift, the surprising part is that I think I’m still in the alleyway. Why suffocate me with what I assume was chloroform, just to leave me here.
“Hey, it’s okay. You’re safe, I’ve got you,” says the train guy and my scrambling backwards is having no effect.
“Stay away from me,” I rasp out and he offers me a bottle of water and makes a point of showing me that the seal is still intact.
“Adding a whole new method to the torture, is Dante hiring out to apply the lingering torture to me?” I spit out and his eyes widen slightly before his face goes blank.
“We can’t stay here, if you want to know what's going on, I’ll tell you,” he offers but I’m not stupid enough to blindly follow him into the unknown. “We can go into one of the cafes or pubs in the area, you can even pick which one if it makes you feel safe or at least more at ease,” he offers me his hand and his eyes are...kind.
There’s something about him, he’s an attractive guy but he doesn’t stand out, he blends into the background easily. No wonder he could just disappear, he has short brown hair, with chocolate brown eyes. He’s toned but not overly built and there isn’t a single thing about him that sets him apart from everyone else.
With Amias he had the darkness, Noah had the smile and kind eyes and Elijah lit up a room with his personality. Mr. Terrifying sends chills through you with a simple look and Devon screams danger. But this guy, he’s just normal.
I slip my hand into his and he slowly helps me to my feet, being careful not to encroach on my personal space too much. He keeps a hand on my lower back, but it feels easy. This is confusing, haven’t I been running from this guy, we tried to trap him and yet I’m walking away with him. You have well and truly lost the plot.
We duck into a pub that is drawing an impressive lunchtime crowd, it's hard to see past your feet with all the people who are here, which makes me feel a little easier. We’re lucky to get a table. He gets us both a drink, but I make sure to wait for mine myself and there's no judgement from him. If anything, I think he likes my decision to not blindly trust him. Although aren’t I doing that in a way?
He moves to sit beside me as someone knocks into him and sends his hip into the table, the guy apologises before holding his hands up and moving away and train guy doesn’t think anything of it.
“Knocks are inevitable in a crowded place, no point getting in a fight over it,” he says easily, which earns him a raised brow from me. “What?” He asks, smiling and he seems naturally good spirited, not that I believe it. It must be an act, right?
“So, you’ve come quite far, from Cornwall to Cambridge. Did you choose this place for a reason?” He asks easily, but I feel uncomfortable and my heckles are rising. At least he’s confirmed that he has in fact been keeping tabs on me.
“Just the luck of the draw, harder to be followed with no exact destination in mind. At least that was the plan,” I say coolly, I don’t want him to see that I’m affected by his words.
/> “It’s smart, but it’s hard to stay off the radar when you’re driving a car in your name, accessing the internet and making calls. It’s all traceable, but how else could you get around?” He winks as he says this but I’m not following his train of thought, no riddles please dude.
“Who are you and why are you following me? If you’re not working for Dante, then who? And honestly I’m not wholly convinced that you aren’t with him and just trying to lure me into a false sense of security. So, go ahead, plead your case and convince me you aren’t the enemy,” trying to act cool and composed is hard when I’m the exact opposite and he isn’t showing any fear or worry, he looks relaxed. Who the fuck is he?
“I’m Sawyer and it’s a pleasure to meet you Henleigh. I am following you but it’s not for the reasons you think,” he pauses to take a long pull of his drink, “I’m not here to hurt you D…D…” his hands are climbing to his throat and he’s struggling to breathe.
“Sawyer,” I shout, and people rush over to help him while my heart crashes against my chest, he collapses and goes into cardiac arrest. Why is this happening? He won’t die, will he?
Luckily the barman is well versed in CPR and how to use a defibrillator and it isn’t long before we are rushed to the hospital and he is taken into the ICU. I can’t understand what is going on and the doctors are asking me all kinds of questions that I can’t answer. They’re convinced that he took some kind of drug, but he didn’t consume anything while I was with him. I don’t think they believe me, and I don’t give two craps whether they do or not. I just want him to be okay, so he can answer my questions, my reasons may be selfish but at least I’m honest.
Thirty minutes pass before I can go in and see him, his eyes are open but he has a tube in his mouth and he looks like he’s still knocking at death’s door.