They didn’t actually kiss, but that was beside the point. They nearly kissed in such a public place, no less. What if someone had caught them? Her reputation was already terrible, but it wouldn’t have reflected well on Elizabeth in the slightest, and she was the entire reason she had been attending the ball in the first place.
How could I have been so reckless?
Matilda’s cheeks pinkened. She stared at herself in the standing mirror before her. She couldn’t get him out of her head. The Duke of Brentminster was a stain on her mind, one she couldn’t scrub away no matter what she did. No matter how many times she told herself that it was inappropriate, and that she shouldn’t allow herself to think about such things, his face kept creeping back. Haunting her. Making her heart pound and her body long for things she couldn’t have.
Elizabeth. Think about Elizabeth.
Matilda released a low sigh, chanting the thought over and over again in her head.
“What was that, Miss?”
Matilda blinked, eyes focusing on the maid who was preparing her dress for her. Tonight, they were to attend another ball, especially since Elizabeth was growing more popular by the day. She knew she should be by her sister’s side, but the thought of seeing His Grace again made her want to tuck her tail and run.
“Oh, nothing.” The maid nodded, and approached her.
“Are you ready, Miss?” she asked.
“No.”
The maid blinked in surprise. So did Matilda. She had been committed to attending to support her sister all this time. “Why the sudden change of mind, Miss?”
“I…” She couldn’t think of something to say so she fanned herself.
Oh, goodness, what am I doing?
“I’m feeling a little feverish, so I don’t think I’ll be able to enjoy myself tonight.”
“Oh!” The maid returned the dress and hurried over to Matilda, her face filled with worry. “Should I prepare a cup of tea for you, ma’am?”
Matilda jerked away from her hand before she could place it on her forehead. “Yes, that would be lovely, thank you. I would like to rest now, if you don’t mind.”
“Yes, Miss.”
The maid left shortly after and Matilda sank onto the bed with a sigh. That wasn’t what she’d planned to do. She’d planned to go to the ball, to risk facing the man she’d nearly disgraced herself before in order to support her sister. Elizabeth would want her there and no doubt, as soon as she found out that she wasn’t going to be attending, she would come looking for an explanation. Matilda wasn’t looking forward to lying to her sister either.
But what else could she do? She couldn’t tell her what was really happening. This was her Season and the focus should be placed wholly on her. Matilda had no right looking for things she knew she could never have, especially when there was a chance it could jeopardize her sister’s chance of finding happiness. No, she couldn’t tell her, but she also couldn’t bring herself to attend. She was hoping Elizabeth wouldn’t mind her not attending this ball tonight.
As if she could sense Matilda’s thoughts, there was a knock on her door and Elizabeth’s worried voice bore through. “Matilda? May I come in?”
“Yes, you may.”
Matilda managed a smile when her sister slipped into the room, concern written all over her face. She was fully dressed, her auburn dress looking absolutely perfect on her. She rushed to her side. “Are you all right? Your maid told me you were feeling ill.”
“I do feel a bit under the weather, but I think a good night’s rest should be the remedy.”
“Yes, yes.” Eyes shimmering with worry, Elizabeth stroked Matilda’s hair. Matilda’s heart swelled at the gesture. “Don’t worry about attending the ball with me tonight. Mother and Father will be my escort. You just focus on getting better, all right?”
Matilda gave her a small smile and a nod. She couldn’t bring herself to speak. Guilt closed her throat.
Elizabeth’s smile was happy and full. “I’ll tell you everything that happens tonight! I hope I dance until my feet fall off.”
“I don’t think that’ll be a problem,” Matilda told her. “Now, hurry along. Don’t let me keep you.”
Elizabeth nodded and left, leaving Matilda to her thoughts once again. And once again, she was beginning to realize that her thoughts did nothing but revolve around the Duke. She thought about him day and night, and above all, she wondered what it would be like if they had actually kissed.
What would have happened if their lips had really met, if that cat hadn’t cut in when it did? Would she be even worse off than she was now? Longing to see him but afraid of what might happen when she did? Perhaps it was a good thing they didn’t kiss then. Never mind the disappointment that eclipsed her when it didn’t happen. It was a good thing it didn’t. She needed to remind herself of that from now on. Elizabeth was her main concern. Not the Duke.
But for tonight, alone with her thoughts, Matilda could take the time to focus on herself and tell herself that there was no time for such things in her world.
* * *
She didn’t attend the ball today.
Timothy watched her family from afar, hoping to see her make a late appearance but it only ended in disappointment. He watched Miss Jones being led away time and time again by different dance partners, wishing he was doing the same with her sister.
“Are you interested in the Viscount’s youngest daughter?”
Timothy shook his head without thinking, wrenching his eyes away from the family to look at his best friend. Jonathan was giving him a curious look, which wasn’t good. Once he was suspicious about something, he didn’t rest until he got to the bottom of it, no matter how trivial it may be.
Timothy knew it wouldn’t make sense to deny to the end, since he had been caught staring red handed, so he quickly thought of something else. “The Viscount and I have been talking about going into business with each other lately. I’m just trying to see if he’s someone I should work closely with.”
“Business?” Jonathan’s eyes shot to the Viscount, who was talking to his wife. Lady Roburg however didn’t seem to be hearing a word, though she nodded at intervals. “Where did that come from?”
Timothy shrugged. “He’s a very convincing gentleman. When I approached them to dance with Miss Jones, he roped me into discussion about our varying businesses. He made me see the benefits of a partnership.”
“And do you plan to go ahead with it?”
Timothy shook his head. “I’m not sure yet. I’ll need to meet with him again to know for sure. I saw Miss Jones’ son.”
The sudden change in topic surprised them both. Where did that come from? “Oh?” Jonathan pressed. “You went to the Roburg Manor?”
“To speak with the Viscount, of course. Seeing Miss Jones and her son wasn’t planned.”
“I see.”
Timothy didn’t bother to respond. He shouldn’t have said anything about her in the first place. And just when he thought he had thwarted Jonathan’s curiosity.
“I’ll go give my greetings to the Viscount,” he said, eager to get away from the heavy gaze of his friend. Somewhere on the dance floor was Lady Nancy and Timothy didn’t think he’d have a chance to speak to the Viscount when she came back and glued herself to his side.
“Lord Roburg,” Timothy greeted when he was within earshot.
“Ah, Your Grace.” The Viscount’s face lit up at the sight of him and he turned away from his wife. “Are you enjoying yourself on this fine evening?”
“That I am. I was hoping to dance with your daughter but I don’t see her?” He didn’t think it made any sense to beat around the bush.
“Oh, my daughter?” The Viscount’s eyes sparkled at Timothy’s word. “Well, would you look at that. Here she comes.”
Timothy turned, hope blooming in his chest. He had hoped to see lovely brown curls and direct brown eyes staring back at him, but the face he caught sight of had disappointment washing over him. “Miss Jones,” he
greeted, forcing a smile on his face. He liked the Viscount’s younger daughter, but she wasn’t who he wanted to see right now.
“Your Grace.” Her eyes sparkled when she smiled. “Are you here to ask me whether I would like to dance?”
“Elizabeth!”
Timothy chuckled, shaking his head at the Viscount. “That’s all right, My Lord. I admire the boldness. And yes, that was my intention. I take it you will say yes?”
“I would be honored to, Your Grace.” Miss Jones shot her father an excited look, which had his mortified expression melting into another crinkly smile. Timothy took her hand and led her back onto the dance floor.
“Aren’t you tired, Miss Jones?” he asked her conversationally. “You have been dancing all night, have you not?”
“On the contrary, it’s the most fun I’ve had all night, even when I find myself paired with a boorish gentleman.”
That brought a surprised chuckle out of Timothy. “I do believe there are a lot of them around tonight.”
“Oh, you would be surprised just how many of them decided to leave their manners at home tonight.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
Miss Jones giggled. “You, on the other hand, are quite well-mannered and a great dancer.”
“Clumsiness aside?”
“Of course,” she said with a broad smile. “And quite comfortable to talk to as well. Heavens know my father will have my ear if he learns the things I am saying to you.”
“The Viscount simply wants the best for you, it seems.”
“Of course, I know that. He and my sister have been doing all they can to ensure I have a good Season so I bear that in mind before I let my mouth run away from me.”
Timothy tried to remain calm at the mention of her sister. “Does your sister not intend to participate in this London’s season as well?”
Miss Jones looked up at him in surprise. “Do you not know of the rumors, Your Grace?”
“I do,” he said with a nod.
“My sister does not believe she has a chance this season. Not with that scandal. Oh,” she shook her head, “I shouldn’t be speaking to you about this.”
“It’s quite all right,” he said quickly. “I’ve spoken to your sister on occasion and she seemed very open about her reputation. However, if it makes you uncomfortable then there’s no need to go any further. But, I must ask. Is that why she decided not to attend tonight’s ball?”
Miss Jones shook her head. “She had been planning to attend with me but she was suddenly feeling unwell. She decided to stay home tonight.”
The relief that flooded him was staggering. Timothy had been half afraid that he was the reason she decided not to attend today’s ball. “I wish her good health then.”
“You can wish her yourself. You’ll be visiting my father again soon, won’t you?” At his surprised look, she giggled. “I heard of your visit the last time. I also heard you ran into Jackson.”
“Jackson?”
“My… my sister’s son. He’s an unruly child but everyone in the manor is simply in love with him. I’m happy he didn’t try to attack you.”
Timothy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Most families kept the child out of the way and very well-trained to keep them from being described as ‘unruly’. But Miss Jones seemed delighted by that fact.
“It was certainly an unusual encounter.”
Miss Jones laughed again. “My apologies, Your Grace. I fear I might have chatted your ear off.”
“That’s quite all right, Miss Jones. It was a pleasure.”
Taking her gently by the hand, Timothy led her back to her waiting father. He didn’t plan to linger much after that and he was happy the Viscount didn’t attempt to reel him into another conversation. Soon enough, Miss Jones was off to dance with another gentleman, leaving Timothy and the Viscount alone to arrange his next visit to the manor to talk business. The sooner, the better in his opinion.
Jonathan was gone when he returned to where he last stood, but he wasn’t so lucky with Lady Nancy. She approached him the moment he settled, smiling at the gentleman who escorted her back to him. It was a tender smile, one that put a distance between them. Her true smile she always reserved for Timothy.
“Your Grace?” Lady Nancy’s smile was bright and utterly beautiful. He couldn’t deny that she had truly grown, and her sweet demeanor only grew to make her even more popular. But instead of making him hunger for her, he simply felt guilty.
This is the lady I should love. She is the one I will be spending my life with. Why can’t I get Miss Jones out of my head?
“You don’t seem to be enjoying yourself.”
Ever since their betrothal became official, Lady Nancy had begun calling him Your Grace again, even though she’d always called him his given name before. “It’s an average ball,” he told her. At least that much was true now that he knew Miss Matilda Jones wasn’t planning to attend.
“In that case, I’m happy you decided to attend alongside me. I am truly enjoying myself.”
“I’m happy to hear it, My Lady.” And because he knew she was expecting it, he said, “Would you care for another dance, My Lady?”
The pleasure that erupted on Lady Nancy’s face was almost blinding. Timothy dutifully took her hand and did what he needed to do. He couldn’t help but think how different this was to being with Miss Matilda Jones. With her, he didn’t have to think about duty.
Chapter 11
Timothy was dedicated to seeing her again. He couldn’t get her out of his head and no matter what he did, she was right there with him in spirit. He could hardly focus without thinking about Miss Matilda Jones. There was one solution to his predicament. He had to at least see her face.
Luckily for him, the Viscount of Roburg was eager to meet with him again. The doors of the manor opened to the butler’s face, nodding respectfully at him. “Your Grace,” he greeted. “The Viscount is waiting in the parlor.”
Timothy nodded back at him and followed in his wake. He looked about himself, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, or even her son, but the manor was eerily empty. He tried not to be too disappointed when the butler came at a stop before the parlor doors and he didn’t see her anywhere.
“Thank you,” Timothy told him before entering the room. He expected to see the Viscount sitting in one of the high-back leather chairs nursing an early glass of whiskey in his hand but instead, it was Lady Roburg standing by the far window.
“Lady Roburg,” he exclaimed lightly, surprised by her presence. “I wasn’t expecting to see you in here.”
Lady Roburg didn’t turn to face him, though she did look over her shoulder for a moment before returning her gaze outside. “Good day, Your Grace.”
“Are you waiting for the Viscount?”
She didn’t respond. She barely even moved. Timothy drew closer, peering curiously at her. She looked a lot like her daughters, though there was deep aloofness about her that her daughters did not possess.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”
Timothy started a little. He couldn’t see what she was talking about. “Who, My Lady?”
Slowly, Lady Roburg’s head turned to the side. Other than that, she was so still that, if he hadn’t known better, he would have thought she wasn’t breathing. “So beautiful,” she murmured. “So much potential. So much… gone.”
Timothy wasn’t sure if he was expected to answer. He didn’t think she was speaking to him. Her mind seemed so far away, her voice so low that if he hadn’t been standing nearby, he wouldn’t have heard her.
Who is she talking about?
“Louisa.” Timothy whirled at the Viscount’s voice. It was a little sharp, but his face was tender. “I thought you’d be relaxing in the drawing room.”
Lady Roburg didn’t acknowledge him. At least, not right away. But then, after a few moments went by, she turned slowly, eyes falling on Timothy. “Have a good day, Your Grace,” she told him. Then gracefully, her back rim-rod
straight and her hands clasped before her, she left the room. The Viscount’s gaze followed her all the way. Timothy wondered if that was sadness he saw in his eyes, but it was gone the next moment.
“I hope I haven’t made you wait too long?” Lord Roburg asked him.
Timothy shook his head. He stared at the door long after Lady Roburg was gone, but the Viscount didn’t address his wife’s odd behavior so neither did Timothy.
Timothy didn’t know how long he sat there talking with the Viscount. He was sure it was at least a few hours, delving into matters he didn’t expect to have to speak about today.
The Scandalous Secret 0f The Tempting Duchess (Steamy Historical Regency Romance) Page 8