He glanced over at her now. She was looking blankly out the window, silent and unmoving. He wondered if she was still in shock and if he should have taken her to the hospital after she collapsed. She was making sense, though, and was surprisingly steady on her feet and in her speech. She was trying to make peace with what she’d done, he knew, and he carefully reached for her hand.
“Maria?”
She jumped.
“Baby, you doing alright?” He brought her cold fingers to his lips. “Talk to me, OK?”
“Not yet.” Her voice was broken in some way that he almost felt. “I can’t talk yet, Dillon.”
He nodded. “When you’re ready, you’ll let me know?”
“Yes.” She blinked and he saw her thoughts clear. “We almost there?”
“Yeah. Two minutes.” He paused. “Listen, Maria. The guys at the hospital? They’re… kind of scary-looking, OK, but they’re good people.”
She stared at him, surprised. “I know.”
“You do?”
“Of course I do, babe. I imagine they’re just like you, right?”
“I guess so.”
She smiled faintly at the confusion in his voice. “That first morning you came bursting in to Open Skies without any warning? In your leather jacket and motorcycle boots and with your no-bullshit face and scary-as-all-hell voice? You looked like the baddest bad-ass ever to walk the planet… but just a few hours later, you were holding me as I cried.”
He shifted, kept his eyes on the road. “Yeah.”
“I knew then that you were a good man, Dillon. Hard, rough, dangerous, sure. But you weren’t going to hurt me, not ever, and you weren’t going to let anyone else hurt me either.”
“No fucking way,” he growled, furious at the mere thought.
“And that’s how I picture King and Jax and Aidan and all the rest of the guys you’ve told me about, to be honest. Tough men, maybe even lethal men, but they’ve been protecting Gabi for weeks and that makes them good men, too.” She held his hand tighter. “I don’t care how scary they look, Dillon. All I care about is if they have good hearts.”
“They do.”
“Then it’ll all be fine.” She smiled again, a real smile this time. “I’ll be fine.”
“OK.” He felt some of the tension leave his upper back. “Well, we’re here.”
Maria looked up at the hospital. “Yeah, we are. Let’s go.”
**
They stepped off the elevator on the fifth floor, headed down to the waiting room and all Maria saw in front of her were mountains of tattooed muscle and hard faces and fierce eyes. She almost laughed aloud: of course they looked like this. Was there ever any doubt?
The terrifying men stood up as one and fixed their eyes on her. Dillon was still holding her hand and she was glad for his steadiness and warmth; he led her over to the guys and one after the other, they extended large hands and carefully shook hers, taking her in the whole time.
When Aidan grinned at her, all shaggy blonde hair and golden eyes, she found herself grinning back. So this was the man Gabi was with. Her sister had gushed about him on the phone a tiny bit and Maria studied him intently. A bandage on the side of his neck caught her attention and she wondered if she should ask about it, decided not to. Not yet.
Jax, Dillon’s boss, was even more intimidating than Dillon was, with dark green eyes and dark hair. He had tattoos up and down both muscled arms, all the way to the wrists. Maria blinked when she saw the dragon on his forearm, recognizing it as the same as Phil’s. She bit her lip, decided to let that question slide for now, too.
And then there was King. In a room full of large men, he was by far the largest and she peered up at him, amazed at the genuine kindness in those gray eyes. When he spoke to her, it was like a rumble from the deepest, darkest part of the earth.
“How you doing, hon?” King asked her, still holding her hand. “After last night?”
“I – I’m not sure.” She thought about it. “I’m still not sorry.”
“Good,” Jax grunted. “None of us are happy you had to do that, but we are happy to have you two standing here.”
“That’s how I feel, I think,” Maria said. “I wish like hell that it hadn’t happened – but we’re alive. I’ll accept whatever comes my way, since it means we’re still breathing.”
The men nodded.
“How’s Gabi?” Maria said. “Is she doing OK?”
The men exchanged glances.
“How much did Dillon tell you, darlin’?” Aidan asked, his Texan drawl as warm and comforting as Eric’s. “About what happened?”
“Just that she was taken from your place and that they had her for a few hours.” She saw them look at each other again. “What did they do to her?”
A cavernous silence fell and she froze.
“OK, you know what?” Her voice didn’t even sound like hers. “Don’t tell me yet.”
“Why not?” Dillon said.
“Because I want to go and see her and I’m suddenly getting the sense that I won’t be able to keep it together for her if I know the whole story. Just tell me – was she badly beaten?”
“No.” Despite that good news, Jax still looked angry. “No, they didn’t do too much of that. You should also know, Maria, that they didn’t rape her.”
“Thank God.” She pushed her hair back with trembling hands. “So – which room is she in?”
“Five-oh-two, but they’re making it hard for us to see her,” Jax said. “This one doctor is a real prick and he keeps saying family only, which means that she's in there all alone.”
“OK, well. No problem there anymore.”
Just then, a doctor showed up in the waiting room and right away, Maria disliked him. He had a fussy, pursed-up expression on his face and he looked at the men like he was way above them in every single way. Maria narrowed her eyes at him, knowing how wrong he was about the guys, knowing that any one of them would lay down their own lives to save hers or Gabi's. She wouldn't bet on this doctor doing the same thing.
"How were the results from the x-ray?" Aidan asked the doctor politely. "Anything broken?"
The man gave Aidan a glare. "You know I won't be discussing any of that with you."
Before meeting Dillon, Maria would have deferred to the doctor without hesitation, she would have just sat the hell down and shut up. She'd have stayed in the corner and watched quietly, let everyone else handle things. If there had been any unpleasantness or tension, she'd have ducked out of the room and waited for it to pass. No way she'd have drawn attention to herself or made a fuss; no way she'd have challenged a man with a medical degree and a God-complex.
But she had met Dillon and she had found her voice. He'd shown her that she had the right to demand respect and commitment – that she was more than worthy of both of those things. And if Gabi had been traumatized in to silence by what those monsters had done to her, then it was even more important for Maria to speak up on her behalf and get to her. Less than twenty-four hours before, Maria had shot a man in the head to protect herself and the man she loved – there was no fucking way she was afraid of this little jerk in a white coat.
"Why not?" she said now.
All the men stared at her.
"Why not what?" the doctor said.
"Why not tell Aidan what's happening with his girlfriend?"
The doctor's lip curled. "Because we can only give patient information to family and people whom the patient has authorized us to speak to. Gabriela is not talking, so we have no way of being certain that she'd want any of these..." He glanced at the men with clear hostility "... gentlemen to know her private medical details."
Maria's eyes flashed. "Then tell me."
"And you are?" he said rudely.
She suddenly thought of Felicia Kramer treating her like an illegal immigrant, like some Mexican who wasn't
good for much more than answering the phone in bad English. Maria was totally done with the whole damn thing and she glared at the snot-nosed doctor, ready to fight him every inch of the way, if that's what he wanted to do.
“I'm Gabi's sister, you supercilious little dickhead,” Maria said. “Tell me what the fuck is going on with her. And I mean now.”
**
Maria watched as Gabi’s eyes fluttered open. She looked blank, glazed, lost. Maria squeezed her hand, got no reaction.
“Gabi?” She kept her voice low. “Can you hear me?”
Slowly, so slowly, Gabi’s face turned to hers. She blinked twice, stared at Maria.
“Hi.” Maria heard the tears in her voice and she cleared her throat.
Gabi blinked again.
“So I met Aidan,” Maria said in a conversational tone. “Let me tell you, sis, he is something else, huh? All hot and gold like the sun – and that accent? God, it makes me melt a bit, you know?”
Gabi’s gaze was less fuzzy now and she looked a bit more alert.
“I know we talked about him, but you did not do the man anything close to justice. He’s sweeter and sexier than you said.”
Maria paused.
“And what I told you about Dillon? It’s about one-half of what I really feel for him. He’s – I love him. I mean, really really love him and I don't even care that I've known him less than a month. It's still true.” She touched Gabi’s cheek carefully, was gratified when Gabi didn’t flinch or move away. “You love Aidan?”
Gabi’s brow furrowed. Then slowly, she nodded.
Relieved to at least get a response, Maria carried on.
“So I was thinking about staying here for a while. In Denver. I want to be here with you and I want to figure some things out with Dillon and I need to – to get away from Open Skies.”
Maria hesitated, thinking about Captain’s blood and brains washing down the drain of the same shower where she and Dillon had made love so many times. The thought of even setting foot in that apartment ever again was horrifying. She wasn’t sure she could so much as stand at the Reception desk, knowing that the living room where she had killed a man was in the same building as her work station.
Gabi was still staring at her, so she pushed the grisly thoughts away.
“I need a break from work, you know?” She forced a cheery tone in to her words. “My boss gets back from her honeymoon today, so I’ll call her later and ask for a vacation. I think she’ll say yes and then I can come and see you every day, here and at home with Aidan.” She stopped, wondering if she was presuming too much. “I mean, if you want me to. Do you want me to?”
Gabi nodded again, more strongly.
“OK, so.” Maria exhaled. “I’ll stay.”
“How long?” Gabi’s voice was weak and rough at the same time and Maria was startled that she’d spoken at all. “How long will you stay?”
“As long as you need me.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“I’m going to need you for a while.”
“That’s OK.”
“You won’t get fired?”
“No.” Maria was certain Julie wasn’t going to fire her for needing time away after shooting a man, for her sister needing her after something horrible happening. “No, I’ll be fine.”
Gabi’s eyes filled with tears. “It was bad.”
“What they did to you?”
Gabi nodded. “Do you know?”
“No. Do you want to tell me?”
“No. Not yet.” Gabi’s lips trembled. “Is that OK?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not ready.”
Maria remembered Dillon’s words to her when she'd said the exact same thing a few hours earlier. “Will you let me know when you are ready? Will you talk to me?”
Gabi nodded.
“OK, then.” Maria took her sister’s hand more securely in her own. “You want to be quiet now? Just breathe?”
Gabi nodded, looking more relaxed. “Just breathe.”
“Alright.” Maria kissed her fingers, gently pressed them to Gabi’s cheek, avoiding the small bruises there. “Whatever you need. I’m here.”
Maria turned on the TV now and the women settled down to watch. Or at least, their eyes were on the screen. Maria wasn’t paying much attention to the reality show in front of her. She was thinking about the fact that Open Skies was her home and that she had, in effect, just left it. She had left the only family she'd ever known. She couldn't say yet for how long she was going to be gone, but it was going to be a while. Probably months.
Briefly, she wondered if she could really do that; if she could walk away from her whole life, even temporarily. She thought about Jake and Julie and how badly she wanted to be there to meet their baby. She thought about Rob and Tammy, and Mattie and Vicky and Phil and Sonia… she knew that leaving the ranch for good wasn’t an option for her. But taking a break? Figuring things out with Dillon? Maybe those weren’t such bad things, considering everything.
First, I stay here for Gabi. Then I stay here for myself and Dillon. Then, to recover and heal from what I did. From what I had to do. Can I start again in Denver? Do I want to start again in Denver?
As she sat there, holding her sister’s hand and watching some over-made-up woman holler at some other over-made-up woman about a mixed-up drinks order, Maria knew that she didn’t have answers to any of those questions. Not that day. But Dillon would give her the time and space to arrive at the answers, she knew that. She’d give Gabi the time and space to open up and talk to her about her trauma and maybe – just maybe – she’d be able to talk to her sister about her own trauma.
Time. Space. My life is open right now, totally open. Everything I thought before last night has changed and shifted and that’s OK. Just be here for the here and now. That’s enough… it’s enough for all of us. For now.
Epilogue
Nine months later
Julie gazed down at the baby in her arms, ran her fingers through his golden-red wisps of hair. He was sleeping peacefully, his tiny fists bunched up tight. His little body was wrapped in a blanket and he was naked except for a diaper. She stared at him in fascination, in some ways still unable to believe that he had come out of her body, that he was a part of her and a part of Jake. Davie was a miracle to her, and he had been every single day since he’d been born just a few days before Christmas, three months earlier.
She heard footsteps behind her now and she smiled at Jake. He approached quietly, not wanting to wake up the baby. She watched him, amazed that she actually loved him more every day: seeing him with their son in his arms that first time had opened up a new wellspring of emotion for Jake. His fierce love for Davie was physical. She could actually see it when her husband stared down at his son, his gaze locked with Davie’s gray eyes so much like his own.
“How’s the little guy?” Jake asked softly.
“He ate and dropped off halfway through,” Julie said. “I can’t seem to keep him awake when I’m feeding him… I think he gets so relaxed and comfy, he just dozes off.”
“Huh.” Jake contemplated his wife’s breasts. “I simply don’t understand that. When I’m around your breasts, the last thing I feel like doing is sleeping.”
Julie thought about the night before and the four orgasms Jake had coaxed out of her eager, straining body. “Oh, I know it.”
They shared a grin and then Jake extended his arms.
“Let me take him.”
Carefully, Julie shifted Davie in her lap, lifted him up to his father. Carefully, slowly, Jake cuddled the baby to his massive chest, loving his sweet smell. Babies were the best combination of baby powder and milk and something else. Pure innocence, maybe, or a life still free of hurt and mistakes. A totally open life lay in front of his son – a good life, Jake hoped. One full of more
laughter than tears, more joy than pain… and more love than anything else.
Julie watched as Jake rocked their son a bit, then he looked at Julie. “You talked to Annabeth?”
“I did.” Julie got to her feet and retrieved her glass of water. She drank it down like she had been out in the desert for a week: breastfeeding made her surprisingly thirsty all the time. “Their wedding is booked for August third.”
“The third?” Jake paused. “Isn’t that two weeks after Phil and Vicky’s wedding?”
“Yep. We’re going to have a busy summer around here, I think.”
Jake grinned. “I just can’t believe that Annabeth and Eric are tying the knot… and here, too.”
“Well, they met here and fell in love here.” Julie stretched her shoulders and pointed her toes at the roaring fireplace. “Maria and I will make damn sure they have an incredible wedding.”
“I know, baby.” He ran his finger over Davie’s soft cheek. “You guys have a bit of practice at planning them now, huh?”
“Maria more than me, but yeah. I think we can handle it.” She looked at the clock above the oven and she jumped a bit. “Tammy’ll be here in a minute. You want to put Davie down?”
“No.” Jake headed for the stairs. “I’m going to sit in the rocking chair and hold him for a while. Daddy and son time, you know.”
Julie smiled softly, watched her two men go upstairs. She’d just heard the bedroom door shut when there was a tap at the door. She opened it up to see Tammy, her hair wild in the early-spring breeze and her cheeks a deep pink.
“Argh,” Tammy said by way of greeting. “Break out the Nutella, Jules, I beg of you.”
“Uh-oh.” Julie took her friend’s coat. “Morning sickness?”
“More like all-day sickness,” Tammy said. “I’ll puke any time at all, for any reason at all. A whiff of the wrong perfume on the street, cigarette smoke, cooking meat.” She blanched. “Ooooh. I shouldn’t have even said ‘meat’ out loud.”
Open Life (Open Skies #5) Page 19